February 14 – It was my birthday. There was some part of this dream about Orgy. But then it was my birthday and I was having a party, a pool party. It started really early in the morning, and Danielle and I went swimming because it was really hot. Then for some reason we went out to the front of my house, by the mailbox, and Ryan from Orgy drove by. I guess I had invited them to my party but they didn’t know where it was. Maybe that’s why we went in front. But we looked all gross because we had been swimming, but I guess everyone thought we looked fabulous. So then we went back to the backyard, and with everyone else. The pool was on my deck and it was more like the size of a hot tub. My parents were there too. So people kept arriving, and we had cake. Then someone came and asked if I was me, and I said yes. So they left, and a little while later this boy from high school showed up with a hot wheels toy for me. Then someone was talking about Denis Hamel from the Sabres, and about how he wasn’t doing good because his mom had diabetes and he wouldn’t accept the fact she was going to die. Then he arrived, and was talking to everyone. He looked different though, like an India Indian. So my mom brought him cake, but she didn’t know who he was or why he had an accent. He dropped some cake on his pants.

possible explanation: it was the night of a hockey game, even tho Denis Hamel is out for the season. My birthday is in June….not sure

possible interpretation: is cake a phallic symbol? I doubt it. Not sure of interpretations.

February 13 – Dream 1 – I was in a car with my old nextdoor neighbors, just the older girl and her father. The car was very wide, and only one seat. More like maybe a rollercoaster type of vehicle. We were down by the river. The father suddenly has a bass guitar with him, and starts playing. He asks us if we recognized the song, and the girl had no idea. But it was Korn’s “Blind” and I told him that it was Korn. He was impressed that I knew. So he kept playing and I started singing. But then it turned into Disturbed’s “Voices”. So I was like, wait, this isn’t “Blind”, it’s Disturbed.

Dream 2 – My dad and I were hang gliding in a gorge, like the grand canyon. But we didn’t have a hang glider. We were just flying/floating. There were all kinds of bridges spanning the 2 sides of the gorge, and they were mostly old and falling apart. We’d fly up near them and look at them, and my dad was explaning the people who built them and how they were in some old ancient style. I was always scared though because my dad always wanted to fly under these bridges, and I kept thinking we were going to hit them. Our flying was weird, because it was like he was holding onto my feet. Anyway, we kept going by all these bridges, and he almost dropped me once (even tho he was holding on to my feet). There were also big wires streched across the gorge, and there were people tight rope walking on them. I was scared we were going to run into the wires and get caught. Then suddenly my dad let go of me, cuz I guess it was time for me to die. So I thanked him, I guess for giving me a good life, and was free falling to the bottom of the gorge. I was hoping that I wouldn’t hit the rocks below, just fall into the river. But then people might not find my body in the river. I decided while I was falling to write a note saying what happened and how I died. So I got some crayons and wrote the note. Then I was hoping that I’d pass out soon from lack of oxygen as I was falling so that I wouldn’t feel it when I hit the ground. Turns out I hit the rocks I guess. I went to hell. I was in hell, sitting at a table by some big windows. Across from me was my friend Mary who was talking about Saturday Night Live. I was eating really gross cookies that looked like almonds, but they were giant almonds. Not overly huge, but just bigger than normal almonds. Next to Mary was some bitchy lady, and next to her was Brad Pitt. So I was talking to Mary and we apparantly pissed the bitchy woman off. She asked me, “Do you guys have degrees?” and I said “No, we didn’t get a chance to finish them. We have high school diplomas. But we died before getting our college degrees.” Then I was irritated at her bitchyness, and I asked her “Do you have a degree.” And she said “No.” and I said “Yeah, well it shows.”

possible explanation: none

possible interpretation: I’m sure Freud would say phallic symbols…I don’t agree. I have no idea what it means.

February 11 – Danielle and I were going to an Orgy concert. It was in a Walmart or something. So we went to the venue and were checking out what was going on and how the show was going to be run. Pat Benetar was the head security person, and we went to talk to her and ask her stuff. Then we went into the room where the concert was and there were some people standing around, but no one was up against the barrier in front. So we were like what the hell, and went up to the barrier. But as soon as we got there everyone just pushed up to the barrier with us. So I had to fight some girl for my space, then  we weren’t there anymore, but back in Walmart, and we went to talk to Pat Benetar again. We found out that there were seats, like at a movie theatre, in front of the stage, and no one was allowed in the seats. We all had to stay behind a barrier at the end of the seats. We went to talk to Pat and asked why we were so far from the stage, because every other concert we’ve been to we’ve been against the stage. She said that’s how it was, and no one was allowed in the seats. So we were kinda pissed about that, but then went back in and everyone was standing behind the seats. Then a bunch of people were sitting in the seats, and I was like what the hell. She kept telling us no one was allowed in the seats, but people kept going in them. Before all this had happened, I had realized she was Pat Benetar when no one else did, and I decided after the show I would get her autograph, and I’d be cool cuz no one else has Pat’s autograph. So we were standing behind these seats, really pissed off, that was about it.

possible explanation: Danielle and I are trying to get a ride to see Orgy. Pat Benetar?? No clue.

possible interpretation: I don’t think there are any phallic symbols in this one!!!

February 10 – Something about Jay McKee being made captain of the Sabres

I was at home and Trent Reznor was doing a concert in my driveway. There was no stage, no band, just him. I was the only one there and was sitting inside a car parked in my drive way watching him. He was going all out like a typical show. I was sitting there watching him, and it was amazing, but I kept wondering how he could go all out when there was no one watching. I guess he didn’t realize I was there either. I didn’t think I’d be able to get all hyped up and stuff if I was just alone practicing. So he kept performing in my drive way, and I was wondering what people driving by thought of seeing a guy going crazy in my drive way. So then he started doing the Tapeworm song “Vacant” that A Perfect Circle has done live. It was different, harder than APC’s version. Then he started to cry, and sat down on the cement crying. I got out of the car and walked over to him and hugged him. He held onto me and just cried into my shoulder.

possible explanations: can’t really think of any. it was the night before i tried to get u2 concert tickets, could explain the concert aspect of it.

possible interpretation: well I’ve been reading a lot of Freud lately for class, and according to him, EVERYTHING that I dream about is phallic. Yeah, Freud thought everything was phallic, but the specifics he talked about…airplanes, trains, sticks, knives, pushing something in or out, etc…are all phallic symbols. What do you know, that’s what I dream about. But he goes on to say that the face value of dreams are often exploring the opposite of what they seem. So would that mean a sex dream would mean you didn’t want to have sex? And phallic symbols would really mean the opposite? Yah I know, Freud was full of a lot of shit…just commenting. Personally I’d love to be able to comfort Trent. If Freud was right, I’d need to be having a lot of dreams where I don’t comfort Trent 🙂

February 8 – Squirrels again. They didn’t bite me this time. We had a bunch of squirrels living in our back yard at home and we wanted to be friends with them so we kept trying to feed them. There was one squirrel who was really mean and would come sit on the windowsill and hiss at us if we tried to feed it. So we hired this animal tamer lady, I guess, to come and tame the squirrel.

possible explanation:  none

possible interpretation: According to Freud squirrels mean children. I think not.

January 29 – Hockey dream. It was the last game of the Stanley Cup Finals. I was actually on the team, and it must have been in overtime, because I scored the game winning goal. So all my line mates came over to hug me and stuff, and then Adrienne didn’t realize we had won right away, and then she did so she was all happy and laughing as everyone from the team surrounded me on the ice. Apparently the game took place inside a mall, because then we were all walking around the mall all happy, and store workers were congratulating us. At one point, we were in front of Spencers, and someone came over to give Eric the Stanley Cup. He didn’t want to carry it, and then he thought someone was going to steal it. So I was like, “how are you not gonna notice someone stealing the Stanley Cup.” and then he was whining about how heavy it was, and that he needed to put it down. So Mary found a box, and he put it in a box and then carried the box. Then a bunch of players from the Sabres were on a talk show kind of thing, and it was Vaclav Varada and Alexei Zhitnik and someone else I can’t remember, who were on the show and kids were asking them questions. It was so hilarious. Someone asked Alex a question, can’t remember what it was, but he kept saying all these really hilarious things and one time said something like “over the past 3 years I only had 30 shots on goal.” But it was so hilarious, I was watching the show and laughing to death.

possible explanation: nothing that I can think of. No hockey was on, so it wasn’t that.

possible interpretation: I’ll just continue to believe that the Sabres will make it to the Stanley Cup and win. yup, sounds good 🙂

January 26 – A bunch of people went to Washington DC on a class trip. When we were there, we got to meet President GW Bush. We were all sitting in a circle, and he was going around and asking us what we didn’t like about him. Since we all disagreed with him, we told him tons of stuff we didn’t like about him. So he was getting upset, and he got to me and asked me what I did like about him. I was like “What I like about you?!” and he said, yes, and I said, “Well you’re really comical.” So he was upset that I was essentially making fun of him. And I was thinking, well what does he expect, we’re from NY, the Al Gore state.

I was at a pool with my old neighbors, and we were playing pool bowling. You had to throw the ball across the water, and if it went more than 8 feet, you got points. So we were playing it, and I took my bathing suit off, but I wasn’t naked still (?). So we kept playing that game, and then I had sold baked goods as a school fundrasier or something, and I had to go pick them up. So I went to the high school and got them, and my friend had ordered a giant cookie. This cookie was huge, it had to be 3 feet tall, and I guess they had just baked everything because it was still warm. Then I went to take it to my locker, and in our lockers we had refrigerators. But mine was locked, so I had to find the key and when I opened it there were 5 packages of ready to eat waffles in there, that had been there since my birthday the year before. They were so old they had turned blue. So I was cleaning that out, and trying to put these tiny bottles of lemonade and iced tea into my fridge, and find someplace for the baked goods.

possible explanation: i really haven’t thought about anything like that recently

possible interpretation: bush is gonna fuck everything up? maybe? lol

January 25 – 2 Orgy dreams, both I was woken up from rather rudely, first by the phone at 3am, and then my alarm.

#1 Shit, now I can’t remember this one either. Damn it. Paige was in it. It was something to do with Paige, and then the phone rang, and I was pissed.

#2 Danielle and I were going to an orgy concert, and it was being held in the Ripley’s Believe it or Not museum. We were inside, and Bobby (who was not really Bobby) was walking around, with the other guys. I was taking pictures. There was a plaster statue of Jay, kneeling down singing, but he was bald with only a tuft of hair on his head, kinda like Hare Krishnas. So then we got inside where the show was going to be, and it was like a dining room… or a rec room in some kind of like, fire hall. We had to watch the show on a TV, because they were on Rosie. So we watched, but then they were back in the room because they had to go on trial. We were sitting in the front row of chairs in this “court”, and Bobby was sitting at the end, looking sad and angry about having to go on trial. Then Paige came and sat down, and he was talking to us about why they were on trial. I don’t remember what he said, but it was something to do with how they played a show in Minnesota, and they have such closed minds there. Then Jay came in, and he had to sit at this table that was against the wall, I guess because he was the singer, he had to represent the band. Bobby was really a little girl, Paige and Jay were normal, and Amir and Ryan weren’t really in the dream. Before court started, Danielle and I were back in my basement, because she wanted to see the pictures I took at the show (so apparently it was a different day that the trial was going on). So I had to turn on the computer. I had laundry in the washer, but for some reason Danielle had to do something to the washer, and she turned the dial and now the wash was going to be in there for another 14 minutes. I was actually washing Orgy. That is what I said was in there. So I showed her the pictures, as if she had never been there, telling her who they were, and about the Hare Krishna Jay statue thing. Then it was the trial again, and they were just about to start when I was woken up by my alarm.

possible explanation: orgy plain and simple. we found out about the orgy tour, and the 3 dates we’re going to go to.. exciting stuff. The trial stuff, and Rosie, and Ripley’s believe it or not.. no clue

possible interpretation: i’m sure i could find out info about the significance of a trial, etc. but it prolly has nothing to do with anything.

January 24 – Another hockey dream. Wait. Now I can’t remember it. never mind.

January  23 – Adrienne, Danielle and I had tickets to a bunch of hockey games. The only thing though, was that they were held in my basement. They practiced  in my basement, and the games were there. So we were getting ready for the game, and our seats were in my dad’s back room in the basement off to the side. From inside the room we couldn’t see the ice. We also had to sit on these really high chairs, they looked like pinball machines. It was time for the game, and the players were walking down the stairs to my basement, and one of them was this kid from high school who we used to call “Free Willy”. He was talking in an accent like he was Russian, and I was standing by the steps watching him. I started kind of yelling at him, and I was like “what do you think you’re doing. you know you’re not on the team. pretending to be russian isn’t going to get you on the team.” So he got all sad.

possible explanation: this wasn’t the whole dream, i don’t remember much of it. doesn’t seem to have an explanation

possible interpretation: none.

January 12 – Danielle came back from Florida, and we had to go to this school assembly/concert/parade thing. So we’re sitting in seats, and someone down the row lights up a joint. He’s like, this is good shit, and he offers it down the row, but the only one who wants any is Danielle. And she’s like, I’ll take it. So she takes the joint and takes a drag off it, and I’m like what the hell are you doing. And she said, I have no idea. And I’m like what the fuck are you doing, you don’t do drugs. And she’s like, yeah I do. And I was severely pissed off at her, cuz I’m like what the hell is wrong with her. So I don’t say anything, but I’m just really mad, and she’s sitting there getting high. So then like suddenly, I grab the joint and throw it onto the road where the parade is going on. And she’s like why the hell did you do that. And I’m like, u shouldn’t be doing drugs. And then like school officials smell the pot, and they send out these drug guard ppl to find out where it’s coming from and who did it. So then like we’re trying not to be like, obvious, that it was her smoking and me who threw the joint into the parade. So then we’re in our dorm room, or well I am, and she left me a note about how it’s ok that she does drugs, even tho she’s a vet. And the note was done all in pictures, so there’s a drawing of her in the vet clinic only smoking cigarettes, and then one of her outside pumping gas in her car smoking a joint. And it was supposed to explain to me why it’s all right that she does drugs now, as long as she does them outside of work. So then later, the principal, Mr Ruggerio, is interviewing everyone in the school by 2’s about the parade and the drugs, and who was responsible for having the drugs there. So like Eric and someone go to talk to them, and we’re getting nervous cuz Eric knew it was me who threw it, and stuff. So Mr Ruggerio comes to get us, and then tells us to sit in this lobby place, and it has big windows looking out at the valley in Geneseo. So we’re waiting for him cuz he had to go to his office and do something and he was supposed to come back for us. Then an airplane flies by the glass windows, and it’s making these terrible noises and sparks are coming out of them and I’m like omg the plane is gonna crash right into the building. But then it suddenly changes directions, flies upside down, and then lands on a runway of the little Geneseo airport in the valley. So I’m like that was close, but we’re still waiting for Mr Ruggerio to come get us but we’ve been waiting forever, and we see more airplanes and they’re all flying up side down….then we’re like screw this, we’re going to find him and get this over with, so we go down a hall to find his office, but since we were the good kids in school we didn’t know which one was his, but we pass Mr Belbas and Mrs Kormashe’s offices.

possible explanation: none. none whatsoever

possible interpretation: no clue. my dream book sheds no light into it at all.

January 5 – Airplane crash dream again. Adrienne had called me from Oregon only 2 days after she had left. I went outside on the front porch with the cordless phone and was talking when I saw an airplane. I was asking her about the trip and how she made it there so fast, and how it was dealing with her step sister for that long. But then I looked at the plane and it was flying funny, and I thought, it’s going to crash. Then it flipped over, and did a nose dive into the ground. I thought, this is a dream, it has to be a dream. And I kept saying to myself wake up wake up wake up. I went inside, and I told my mom I must be dreaming, and so I wanted to go upstairs and lay down on my bed so I could wake up. It took me a while to get upstairs because people kept talking to me. I kept saying that I needed to go to bed so I could wake up. So I finally got to my bedroom and put my stereo on. I noticed my stereo had a weird function that would show special effects on a little screen. I put a cd on, and the screen started showing the video for that song. The song was NIN’s “closer” and it was playing the video, but I couldn’t figure out why. I never knew it could do it before, and then I thought it must only work with new cds, so I got out an old Madonna cd (Ray of Light) and put that in, but it had new songs on it from her Music cd and it still played the video for the song.

I’ve noticed that in many of my airplane crash dreams, in the dream the airplane is really big. In the last one, with the  Japanese airplane, it was a really large plane, like it was really close to me. It’s not like I see a small dot of a plane in the sky and it explodes. And there seems to be a theme of the plane flipping over before it crashes. Not sure why.

possible explanation: none for the airplane crash part. Adrienne is in the process of driving to Oregon with her step sister.

possible interpretation: my dream book says some crap about explosions and how they could be “destroying an obstacle in your path to a goal”…so you could say that since Adrienne was in the same dream as the crash, I want to destroy her because she’s an obstacle…yeah sure whatever. Under music, it says something about notice what is played and where… well it’s “closer” and it was in my bedroom.. could it be sexual?!?!?! lol

I was at the beach, in NT (there are no beaches), so I guess I was down by the river. I wanted to go find something, I can’t remember what, so I was walking down along the side of the rail road tracks. There was lots of people around, because it was summer. So I turned down this other path to get to where I was going, but there was a crane and it was doing weird things, so I turned around to go back because I didn’t want to get crushed under it or anything. So I was walking back, and I had my headphones on, and this weird guy carrying a branch of a tree came up to me and asked me if I was homophobic. I said no, and he said good, then I wouldn’t tell anyone. I kept walking and he was walking next to me, and he asked me if I like getting whipped, and then he hit me with the tree branch. I was like, what the hell. He kept doing it, so I started running, and he ran after me and was hitting me with the branch. So I ran back to the beach and I was screaming for someone to help me, and there were 3 girls from my high school there. They all looked at me screaming and started laughing at me. No one would help me. So this weird guy is beating me with the tree, and I’m screaming for help, no one is helping me in classic social psych fashion. The one girl Leslie keeps laughing at me, so I got really pissed, and I punched her. Then weird guy had a knife and he stabbed me in the back of the shoulder, Leslie was still laughing at me, so while I was getting stabbed, I was punching her, and I grabbed the weird guys knife and I stabbed her in the eye. Then weird guy got me away from her, and kept beating me up and stabbing me, but finally some guy was gonna help, and he started walking over. Apparently weird guy knew him, because he got scared, so I grabbed his wrist of the hand holding the knife, and held it against the ground. The guy came, and I got away, I guess. Then, I was in high school, in a class with Danielle. Everyone was talking about what happened, and was stretching the truth so bad. Someone came up to me and asked me why I stabbed this girl Stacy in the eye, and I got really pissed off because that wasn’t what happened. No one seemed to care that I had been stabbed, only that I had stabbed Leslie and stuff. So someone came in the room and asked Danielle if it was true that she stabbed someone, and I got really pissed off even more because Danielle had nothing to do with it. So I went crazy, and I pushed them out of the room and started screaming at them to shut the fuck up, they didn’t know anything that happened, and to fucking leave us alone. Then this girl Vanessa came into the room and started talking shit about what happened, so I did the same thing to her. Then a teacher, Mr Zayatz realized that I was having problems, and that the whole situation was causing trouble in the school. So he brought his class into our classroom to have a discussion or whatever. Then Vanessa came back with all kinds of McDonald’s french fries. She started yelling at me, and threw fries at me. At this point I was trying not to care anymore, and so I told her I hoped she enjoyed spending all that money on the french fries. But then I grabbed some and threw them at her. I guess Mr Zayatz thought it would be a good idea for us to get our frustrations out by throwing food. So only the people on my side of the room got to throw fries at everyone else. Then Vanessa had runts (candies) and we started throwing those, but I couldn’t throw them far enough to the other side of the room where Dr Cylke was sitting with other students. After we used all the food, we watched some video. I guess it was to clear things up about what happened. Still no one cared that I was the victim and had been attacked. So then it was after school and I had to leave, I decided to apologize to one of the people I had told off. Then since the meeting took so long, my mom left and I had no ride home. So Adrienne came to get me, and we were walking down the main staircase, and when you got to the bottom it was an elevator. If the elevator wasn’t at that floor, there were no bottom steps, so I fell down about 5 feet. I was like, what the hell, why aren’t there any steps. And she said, because the elevator wasn’t there. Then my ex friend Angela was coming down the steps with us so we warned her about the no steps being there. Then the lobby was all weird, it had black and white floor tile, and was all wavy and really big. Then there were these little devil things, running around. And I thought, this is a dream, there are no devils in my school. So I’m trying to tell them they don’t exist because I’m only dreaming, and then we realize they aren’t devils, but they’re Blink 182. They start chasing us, so we get into the elevator that finally arrived on that floor. Finally we leave and we go to Adrienne’s car, but now it was the mall, and we were stuck in mall traffic. Then my mom called, and I had the portable phone from our house and it still worked. She was at the Starter outlet at the mall, and was talking to me, but then stopped. But I could hear music so I knew she was there. But apparently I had never told my parents about getting stabbed, and I was worried they’d find out. That was about the end of the dream, except that there was a horse drawn carriage in front of us in the mall parking lot.

possible explanation: when telling my dream to Danielle she said it was a combination of talking about homophobia before we went to sleep, not getting enough french fries at Denny’s last night, playing the Burger game on nintendo and not being able to get off the ladders, and something else that now I don’t remember. I have a take home final to do today for Dr Cylke, but nothing else seems to make any sense.

possible interpretation:  when do I ever have any idea what my dreams mean?