no one can ever be happy for you part 2

It’s been a week since “the news” broke about my promotion. The hate has slowed down, but it still bothers me. I was congratulated by one of the people who thought they were a sure thing, and I know he was super super upset he didn’t get it, but at least he was cordial to me. I’m trying to give 0 fux about the whole thing, I’ve spoken to a few of my friends who are above me, and I know they are all sure of their decision, but when you hear that someone who is supposed to be a friend is talking shit about how I’m not qualified for the position, it stings a bit. And it’s fucking nonsense. How much more experience do you want!?!?

It’s also super frustrating to hear that I only got the position because I’m a woman. Fuck. Off. Other women applied, why didn’t they get it? Why didn’t both open spots go to women? Maybe I got it because I’M FUCKING GOOD AT MY JOB.

It’s really mind blowing to me that people think I’m not qualified. Before this you could ask anyone who the best dealer at ____ game was, and they’d say me (except craps!). You could ask what supervisor someone wants in their pit, because they do a good job, and I’d be on the list. But now, I’m not good enough, I’m just a woman.




I can’t imagine being a minority and dealing with these kind of statements my whole life. The sexism is bad enough, to have to deal with the racism too….Ugh.  At least no one has said I got the job because I was blowing the director (no, surely someone HAS said that.)

no one can ever be happy for you

I applied for a promotion at work a few weeks ago. I wasn’t sure I had a chance in getting it, despite being qualified, because there were only 2 positions open and a lot of interest from very good candidates. But I got it. !!! Yay!

That’s the good news. The bad news is now half my coworkers are pissed off and talking shit.

I’ve gotten a variety of reactions, from sincere congratulations, and people being glad that management finally made a good decision, to surprise, and to insincere congratulations and anger.

I was surprised myself, because the way things have gone in the past, management seemed to always know who they wanted for the positions, and the interviews were rather irrelevant. So everyone assumed who the 2 were going to be, and that didn’t include me. I’m hoping the people who were surprised at the choice to promote me were surprised for this reason, and not because they don’t think I can do the job. (And that does seem to be the case.)

In one way, the anger I understand, as it’s coming from other applicants. I got the job, and they didn’t, so that’s fine. However some of it’s a bit misguided because some of the applicants thought they were basically guaranteed the job but I got it instead and they are incredulous that I could have possibly gotten it.

Do I really need to go through my qualifications? Do people really think I’m not going to do a good job, or that they would be better at it? Is 13 years with the company, 4 in management, plus previous management training and experience not count? Does my 4 year college degree not count?

So I’ve gotten some congratulations from these people, but they seem to be half hearted, and I’d rather they not say anything at all. But I suppose it’s better than the cold shoulder, and an unwillingness to help me, which I experienced last night on the craps game.

I know the “experience” thing comes down to craps. I am the first to admit I do not have a lot of experience dealing craps, but you know what? Neither do a lot of our current managers (including one of the shit talkers who is already in the position I just got) and they are able to do their jobs just fine. The candidates who have a ton of experience are upset that they got passed over by someone without the knowledge they have, I understand. But maybe they should look at the other requirements of the job, at their personal performance, etc before they criticize me and my ability that hasn’t even been demonstrated yet. If I end up sucking at the job and being unable to perform duties related to managing a craps game, then by all means, criticize me. Or help me and teach me what I need to know to properly manage the game, which has little to do with being able to actually deal it proficiently. That’s why on the list of requirements of the job “management knowledge” is all that is needed in a game if you have enough experience in all the other games (which I do.)

I shouldn’t be upset at the “hate-orade” and shit talking, because upper management, the people who matter, chose me to do the job. They think I can do it, and do it well. But it feels shitty to thank a person for their help and advice before my interview, to have them congratulate me and offer their help in training, only to find out they told other people that they don’t agree with my being chosen, that I don’t have enough experience. It feels shitty to work with another applicant and have them not speak to you at all. It sucks to have to wonder who really is happy for me and wants me to succeed, and who is talking shit about me to everyone else.


did i mention new kids on the block are coming to my casino in march? since we’re technically not allowed to go, i signed up to work the show hahah. so i’m on the list, however tony said it’s a long list so i may not end up getting picked 🙁 we shall see.

and yikes, gas bill 224$!!

party time

christmas party season. did a secret santa thing with my work friends on thursday at brian and danielle’s house. i got lindsay who had me last year, and got her like 8 pairs of fun socks (she likes fun socks). danielle had me (but she admitted she cheated cuz she saw the gift before she picked the names ha), and got me these 2 neat framed pieces of glass that have architectural drawings on them. had a good time with everyone at their house. on my way home there was a house with EIGHT deer on the front lawn…8!?!?!? i’ve never seen so many at one time, and all on one lawn. i mean REAL deer too, not like, christmas decorations hahah

been busy running errands and making xmas gifts. slowly. i can only make one at a time so it’s taking awhile.

it appears that i’m really unknowingly stressed out about work. i’ve been having alot of chest pains, but realized only at work, or on my way to work. yesterday they started after i put my uniform on and was watching the sabres game. on my days off, or in the afternoons, i’m totally fine. it was sorta worrying before i realized it seems to be stress. still probably not good though. i have a drs appt on the 31st and the 2nd (maybe i should change the one on the 2nd because next year my benefits go up to a $25 copay).

but yeah, work hasn’t been fun. people are still upset and uneasy about more layoffs. jenn just told me quite an interesting rumor about the CEO getting fired today, but no one knows what is really going on. i just go to work with my chest pains and deal and go home.

i finished reading ender’s game, which was recommended by mary months ago. i quite liked it so i added the remaining 4 in the series to bookmooch. but while it’ll be months before i get them, i decided to read Atlas Shrugged again. with the economic problems and business/bank failures it sorta seemed appropriate. i read it in 05 and don’t remember enough to draw parallels so i figured i might as well read it a 2nd time. i’m remembering a bit even having just reread the first chapter and i’m thinking that john galt’s philosophy is actually the reason we’re in this trouble now…but we’ll see if it gets clarified in my head as i go. it’ll probably take me 6 months again to read hah (i found my boarding passes for my flights to reno to see nin in 05 inside the book haha). and i fully expect to skip john galt’s radio speech again too haha.

layoffs :(

it appears i survived lay off number 1. many of my friends didn’t. looks like they are using seniority, because both dealers and supervisors who were laid off were all the most recently promoted. it sucks. on my shift 5 floors were cut, and the rumor is 17-25 dealers but i’ve only heard of about 10. i really think i am ok (for now). if the layoffs are based on seniority i am way up there, there aren’t many day 1 dealers left in the place. if it’s based on attendance points and “behavior” i’m also fine as i may have 1 point which will go away on new years day (from calling in for the ice bowl ha) and i’ve gotten 1 write up in the last 3 years since i demoted myself. still sucks though.

layoffs coming?

the news paper has it that 210 people at work are getting laid off tonight…the first one seems to be our boss. apparently just got laid off when he went in this morning. fantastic.

*edit*…i don’t understand economics, i admit it never made sense to me in school, so i while i realize the economy right now is bad, and may get worse, it’s not THAT BAD! i think all these companies are freaking over reacting and making things even worse. my company apparently has made 450 million this year. but because it’s not at the projected 500 million they are crying in their peace pipes. they’re trying to get us to work 4 days (so they can save a whole 61.40 that they pay me each day) and now laying off because the “economy is bad”. maybe if all the companies kept all their jobs, people would continue to have money that they could then spend at other companies and no one would have a problem.

400 and 50 fucking million! apparently it’s more than last year at this time, but still just not enough. maybe my communist side is showing…


arg…new vacation policy at work. alot of us have our anniversary date, and thus resetting of vacation, in december. every year around this time they do the “vacation lottery”, which is the only thing at work based on seniority. you can ask for certain weeks vacation now and those highest in seniority get their preferred weeks. most people used it for busy weeks, like christmas/new years and other holidays. i’ve never used the vacation lottery because i never really know when i want to go on vacation so far in advance, and it’s usually not popular weeks like that.

new policy…if you have 3 weeks vacation you can only take 1 of those weeks as individual days. suck. but even worse, i have to ask for my remaining 2 weeks vacation…get this.. NOW. even if i don’t want to take advantage of the lottery, i have to submit my vacation time, for 2009, by november 5th. w.t.f how am i supposed to know what i want to do and when next year? and someone joked, yeah how do you know when trent will be on tour, haha, but regardless of that…still, no idea when i want to go someplace or where i want to go. and i really don’t want to plan out a vacation that is 8 months away. so i have no idea what to do.

we are allowed to change the weeks we ask for, but when we cancel the week, we have to submit a new week at the same time. ok, that’s not so bad but the whole point of this new policy is to make it easy to do the schedule…how is it going to be any easier to do the schedule when you have people changing their vacation week constantly? how is that any different than letting us pick our vacation any time we want (with 2 weeks notice, as is typical). it’s also supposed to make it easier for people to get the time they need, because policy favors people who take full weeks over people who take single days. alot of people this year, myself included, ended up getting vacation time canceled because all the slots for weeks off filled up at the last minute. but i don’t understand how this is going to make it any easier, since most of the time people taking individual days and not weeks were for weddings and things like that, when you don’t know a year in advance that it’s even going to happen. so they’re still going to be using their one week for individual days, and still have the potential of losing those days at the last minute because people can keep changing their vacation week even tho we have to put in for them now….

it just doesn’t really make any sense to me. i SORT of understand restricting the individual days to only one week, we are going on our 6th anniversary so many many people have earned 3 weeks now, but it still sucks. the only time i’ve needed an entire week off for vacation was the european trip. otherwise i like to take a day here or there, to make a 3 or 4 day weekend to go somewhere. i don’t need 9 days off in a row (5 vacation, plus 4 regular days off around it). i doubt i’ll have the money to do any huge trips, like europe or someplace, next year but i don’t want to take 9 days off and just sit home…

anyway….took some crappy pics of the house today on the point and shoot cam, wow it’s so not wide angle…they’re up on facebook click here.

back to work

so first day back at work, and it was surprisingly good – that is until a guy called me a bitch and i told him he wouldn’t be calling me that again. apparently i’m really noticeably tan, my mom, phill, jenn and tammy all commented on it pretty quickly. boo. jeff said i seemed really happy, happier than before i left, and i said no i was actually really depressed and just faking it haha. i was happy to see my friends again, but who wants to be back at work when i really should have been in kentucky tonight or wherever they played…i so need the reality show to pay for the tour haha.

for some reason, cleveland already seems like ages ago…

a guy told me i look like a young liza minelli. and he repeated, that he said a YOUNG liza minelli hahaha

one of our more notorious players died this week. NOT suicide this time.

u23d will be showing at some IMAX in rochester, Cinemark IMAX® Theatre 2291 Buffalo Road …that’s the closest. or toronto Empire Theatres at Empress Walk 5095 Yonge St…..both starting feb 15th. seems like i’ll be going by myself 🙁 not knowing how long it’ll be running in either place, i may have to take a night off of work to see it. hahah


psycho pants guy

what’s with the cardboard and spray painted Ron Paul 2008 signs? does he have a street team? or is this something only happening around here…

some advice: don’t marry anyone until you’ve taken them gambling. seriously. gambling, or rather losing at it, brings out the absolute worst in people and in their behavior. some of the behavior i see, i feel ashamed and embarrassed for them. people turn into total idiots, and no where else in the world would their behavior go unchecked except at a casino.

last night i had a guy who sat down at my table, when he stood up to get his wallet out of his pants, they were completely undone. now we’re not talking, buddy your fly is down, here…button undone, fly down, sides of his pants totally apart. now i saw no flesh, he was not commando, or had his shirt tucked in. but seriously. what the fuck is wrong with people. everyone was pretty stunned. bob told him to fix his pants, he’d button the button, sit back down, but next time he stood up, pants totally undone again. thankfully i had the table in the way, but jaysham was next to me and got the full show…on top of that, he said i ruined his life, he was going to break a bottle on me, and in general was a psycho. *edit* also…when he sat down at my table he put down 3 pats of butter on the table. so i asked him, are you eating just butter? and he said no he had rolls with him. you’re not supposed to eat at the table but for whatever reason, no one said anything to him. so he’d open up the butter and just moosh it onto the roll. got butter on the table, made a mess. so later after i had ruined his life he was muttering to himself about me, and how i asked him about the butter when he sat down, and how i should have just not said anything. so i was like, i was just trying to be friendly, don’t worry, i won’t say anything else from now on. fucking retards.