urbex haiku

an article in artvoice about the election concludes with an appropriate analogy…that this election is the prom king and queen star football player and head cheerleader vs the skinny guy and the nerd (something like that), and implies that america will vote for the prom couple. the analogy sorta gives me hope, because our prom queen was brooke…who was not a cheerleader, who was not in the “popular” crowd, who was validictorian…oh who am i kidding…

BCT on ghosthunters NEXT WEDNESDAY! don’t forget. don’t let me forget and watch 90210 instead 🙂

my uncle who writes haiku sent some of my last photos from detroit with david to a friend grant hackett, who wrote haikus about them…

To keep my hands in idleness and decay :: the piano is wrecked

An old friend says :: your name will be left in the air

Stuffed with echoes :: some day it will rain through the roof

You can see untitled stars through the holes in their eyes

i promise to take some house pics soon.

a little something i wrote about the rainbow mall experience today. i was writing it on the back of last week’s paystub and ran out of room, so it’s only about a half hours worth of thoughts. i got there at 11, left at 2.

the unemployed of WNY…

I’m sitting in a dark corner of an abandoned mall trying to read. It’s the kind of light that would make your mother say “turn a light on or you’ll go blind”

There are handfuls of people like me – educated recent grads.
There are the worn out bleach blond women – probably hoping to meet a sugar daddy if they get hired.
There is the guy sitting “next” to me – cross legged lotus positon – humming – as if he’s meditating – he has a mullet.
There are alot of mullets here. Even high class suit wearing mullets. How can I not get hired?

Three women chose to stand directly in front of me. The one keeps coughing on me.
My ass is numb. What I wouldn’t give to sit in a chair.

Coughing lady gave in and sat down. She said “I don’t know how you’re reading in this light.” She just opened her book.

Well it has begun – we all have numbers, yet everyone herded to get in line. They’re starting with 08. I’m 179….
That’s all i was able to write down. I ended up sitting on the other side of the mall, against the old esprit store windows. A canadian man befriended me. He works at casino niagara right now. Apparently alot of CN employees are coming to apply at Seneca. I asked him why, he said the money….24$ an hour canadian or 24$ an hour american…which would you choose? lol. he started as a dealer at CN and was promoted to supervisor, which was what he was applying for here. He said dealers make 24$. I ended up seeing some ex-Mc-co-workers there, and the girl said they’ve already started calling people for jobs. A friend of hers got a dealer job after going yesterday, starts at 40k….TO DEAL BLACKJACK! see THIS is why i want the job lol.

so anyway. went through the screening thing. 5 questions about customer service, and exjobs etc. the usual bullshit. the table training is unpaid, but also free…8 weeks long, and they have 3 times a day that they do the class (4 hours a day i guess), so I’d still have to work at hard rock or some place else until the casino opens…you know, if i get the job lol. I REALLY WANT THE JOB THO. you don’t understand how badly i want to be a casino dealer at this moment lol.

i had to pee so bad when i left, and was going to go to hard rock to use the bathroom and get some food real quick, but decided against it. should have, since river road is all being constructed upon and i’m always waiting in traffic there. i think they might be near completion tho, because now they’re repaving it. it was so weird, since it was raining, the newly paved parts were creating so much steam you could barely see anything.

and again, i’m sorta psychic. i was thinking nate probably called while i was gone, and i was going to be really pissed if he was calling to cancel plans tonight….well he did call, but not to cancel. he’s going to come here after work instead of going home, but before he gets here has to go get his car battery replaced. so his eta for tonight is around 7 apparently. i’m going to assume he’ll be hungry so i guess that decides what we’re gonna end up doing later lol.

trying to make plans to see danielle in november one weekend, but it’s all screwed up. mom is only going to let me go if nate goes (i guess she’ll sacrifice the whole us together alone in a room thing, for me not driving all that way by myself), and dunno if things are gonna work out because of his desire to take the first week in nov to visit college friends, and both of our job situations. he might not be leaving his job in 2 weeks, depends how much money he has by then…who knows where the next few weeks will bring me as far as jobs go…then i thought i had figured out that the 3rd weekend was good, could leave thursday night – drive halfway, and have most of friday, all of saturday at danielle’s, leave sunday morning. but i forgot adr and i have sabres tickets for the 15th….so nowwww….possibly thinking about going to the sabres game, leaving afterwards at like 11:30/midnight-ish…driving til about to drop dead, sleep a bit, drive the rest of the way. that would give most of saturday, all of sunday, and then leave monday…blah i just want it all to work out.

i can deal blackjack
casino please hire me
i’m a good worker

what do you think it means if you dream about a butterfly biting you? lol

work was really slow despite the insane amounts of people who descended upon the rainbow center to apply at the casino. i didn’t go today, because i left at 4:30 and was told it was a 6 hour wait in line. so i’m going to go early tomorrow morning, probably around 10, and wait in line til they open at 12. kristen and mike waited in line for 4 hours today – they got there at quarter after 11. i thought it was just going to be go in, fill out an application and leave, but apparently they’re doing screenings, and talking to each person – hense the 6 hour line.

so i hung up cobwebs at work for hours today. i’m covered in them. it’s all decorated for halloween with bales of hay, and corn stalks and stuff…pumpkins etc. it looks cool.

i’d really like to see nate tonight, but i’m not holding my breath. if i get my hopes up too much i’ll end up crying later i’m sure. i’m figuring i’ll get the “i’m really tired” excuse…i’m sure my mom will yell at me tonight for not doing the list of chores she gave me to do today, even tho i told her at least 3 times i had to work today, she still gave me the list…once she yells at me, i’ll REALLY want to see nate so he better be up to do something. i don’t really feel like doing anything out, renting a movie would be fine with me…no over exertion so his “tired” excuse won’t really fly haha.


i wish i could harness my psychic ability and make some money off it. cuz i was right, once again. called nate…conversed a while
me: well did u want to do something tonight, get a movie or something?
nate: i’m exhausted
me: all you did was peel stickers off a van all day
nate: yeah i know….blahblahblah

i convinced him to do something tomorrow night, instead of thursday (but gonna work on thurs night too haha)…he might be going to see his friend in DC this weekend. i told him he might get shot lol. he’s like oh yeah, i forgot about that lol. i guess the other friend he’s going to drive down with is being a bitch about taking off of work and stuff, so it might not happen. let’s hope it doesn’t *selfish* 😛 i’m entitled to be selfish. but really…the sniper thing, i wouldn’t go down there right now if i was paid….ok well i would if i was getting paid alot LOL. nate jokes about how he wants to get shot in Niger, he could go down to DC and get shot getting gas…haha.

mom didn’t yell at me. actually thanked me for going to get the grocerys when i got home from work. but i’ll have a list of stuff to do tomorrow, even tho most of my day will be spent in line at the casino job thing.


duran duran is
a cool 80s band that should
come play at hard rock

i am so tired and i don’t really know why. slept decently last night, but i’m so exhausted. and i have a headache and felt sorta sick all day. i think it was cuz i drank coffee this morning to warm up. i don’t think i can handle coffee early in the morning (or 11am haha), it always makes me feel all gross.

today’s sexual harassment update: jack touched my ass again, random touches while he talked to me about 5 times, and 2 hugs – one for giving him a table, and one to appologize for giving me a hard time (even tho i don’t recall him giving me a hard time)…and then about 398249724 times being called honey. and i asked kristen if he does this with her, and she said no…nate’s gonna have to go kick some ass haha.

i feel as if i’m on the verge of descending into that place i’ve been going about once a week since i started dating nate. but not cuz of him…for no real reason. i just feel like as soon as my mom gets home she’s going to get on my case about something, and i’m just gonna burst into tears. she left me a list of things to do today (vaccum, laundry, clean my room) as if i wasn’t going to be at work all day either…and i’m sure she’ll leave me a list for tomorrow, as if i don’t work tomorrow. and i know she’ll be like I DONT CARE YOU’VE BEEN HOME FOR AN HOUR YOU COULD HAVE DONE *fill in the blank* WHY DONT YOU GO OUT AND GET A JOB. god just thinking about this i have tears in my eyes.

i think it’s safe to say i’ve never been this emotionally variable in my entire life. i’ve never been so happy and felt like such shit, and have it change so quickly back and forth ever. haha i keep thinking of when some certain ex-housemate said she was a rapid cycler. that’s what i feel like the past 2 months. i need a mood stabilizer. lol

since when do elementary schools have dances? we had skating parties…maybe it’s me getting old, but elementary school kids don’t need to be going to dances. do they even want to go to dances? they don’t like the opposite sex – they have cooties. and i remember in 5th grade there was a sock hop and we all thought it was the gayest thing ever, no one went. but apparently, kids at meadow school want to go to dances.

have you heard the latest rumor about the Jackson family? yeah according to Latoya’s ex-husband, he witnessed the Jackson family’s ritual monkey sacrifice at the Hayvenhurst house years ago….and MJ used to physically beat on Bubbles, saying that “he’s just a chimpanze, he can’t feel it”….and that MJ injected magical formulas into his veins while chanting “i’m getting lighter, i’m getting lighter!”…come on now. if you’re going to make up lies about the family, make them semi-believable. ritual monkey sacrifice?!?! right.


omg i actually got rid of all the crap in my inbox. shock…i had clique submissions from the beginning of august in there. hah i’m such a slacker.

i have such a friggen headache. stupid fucking screwed up hormones. and now presenting…the kinds of headaches i get:
1. normal headache – just a normal headache…it hurts, but i don’t usually even notice them, since i ALWAYS have a headache.
2. shark bite headache (aka ice pick headache) – i think i have shark teeth growing inside my skull…every now and then my brain gets caught on one of them, thus sending sharp shooting pains through my head. i know exactly where the teeth are growing, because it’s always the same areas that hurt.
3. sinus headaches – when areas of my brain hurt when i inhale. usually my face will hurt as well. it feels like my sinuses are very dried out and empty, then in pain, which goes into my head. i had one of these at work today, but it went away.
4. migrane without aura – had one last thursday. just hurt really bad, and made me feel like throwing up. as a kid i would always throw up with them, and then i’d feel better.
5. migrane with aura – it’s like i have a stroke, but usually doesn’t hurt unless i move my head. aura includes loss of vision, loss of feeling in half my body, face, lips, tongue, feeling as if limbs aren’t attached to my body, loss of ability to speak or read. thankfully, rarely happens. haven’t had one in 4 years.

i’m not sure which kind i have now… it’s normal but bordering on migrane. it hurts alot. so it’s a bit beyond the annoyance of a daily headache.

and now for my haiku:

i know i missed some
i actually had a life
no time to haiku

i need to find a u2 cover band to play at hard rock for band night. but are there any around here? of course not.

going to see red dragon at 9:30 tonight. hopefully nate won’t fall asleep 😛

so until then, watching hedwig, doing nothing.

sometimes i wonder what i did before digital cable…the past few days the channel guide has been out, so it says “no data” instead of what is on that channel as you surf…i’ve had to go back to surfing and guessing what shows are on! It’s horrible!! i need to know what show is on immediately! haha *spoiled*

i need a haiku for today. haha ok

i need a haiku
cuz i promised one daily
i’m such a slacker


*edit* watching the hedwig commentary for the first time (what’s wrong with me, i dunno…) shit now i forgot what i was gonna say. oh yeah. in the background of clips of an interview with some guy, he’s got one of the glowing plastic deer lamps that i wanted to buy last year. hahahah.


Herbi938: i went to go get my friend for dinner and the girl who lives next door was having sex
vacant enigma: lol
Herbi938: we stopped and listened outside the door
vacant enigma: LOL

ug *ahem* i feel like crap. i should eat something. it made the sick feeling go away last night. i only got out of bed right now cuz i was in too much pain. i almost want to throw up, cuz i’d probably feel better. but it’s not that bad that i could actually do it. ug.


today’s haiku

mom’s cooking something
making me very nauseus
wish that she would stop


i still feel sorta sick. i went back to bed for a while, half asleep. got up and had some tea and toast. when i eat, it makes the sickness go away, sooo i should keep eating. since i am hungry despite the nausea. the sickness should be going away soon. dr adrienne said so haha.

i’m making it sound like i have morning sickness LOL. so to ease your worries, i don’t LOL.

i’m thinking i should take a shower before my dad gets home. he’s always weird about when i’ve been lazy around the house all day, or he comes in to say hi and i’m in bed reading or something. so what if i’m still in my pjs and it’s 3pm, i’ve been sick!


have i ever expressed my belief that i was an exhibitionist in a past life? this is something i’ve thought for a long time, not a recent revelation (despite the answers of this quiz and the porn one lol)…seriously for some reason, i think i was a flasher or something.


yahoo headline “Shuttle docks with ISS, delivers salsa” hahah

ug slept so wrong in the spare bed. my back/neck is all screwed up now, i feel like my head is gonna fall off. blah. this hurts.

someone keeps calling and not leaving a msg on the machine. i didn’t want to get out of bed to answer it, but they won’t leave a msg and now it’s kinda freaking me out. that’s why i’m awake.


sometimes i wonder if the life i’m living right now is really mine. cuz so much of it has changed recently, that it’s like… is this me? and am i doing this? lol.

it was adrienne who kept calling. she didn’t want to leave a message.

i’m so friggen cold. and the thermostat to the house is in the warmest room in the house, so the furnace won’t go on until that room is cold. it’s already set at 70, blah. i am fearing taking a shower, because i’m gonna freeze to death, but i figured i should get started on my day. i already sorta cleaned up the kitchen, but i need to do some laundry, find my winter clothes, and then do some job stuff. i think i might go apply at brylin hospital again. for the 3rd time. now that i’ve actually graduated maybe they’ll give me a job. doubt it. but i don’t feel like driving down there today, so i’m not gonna :). of course i could go take pics of the psych center while i’m down there…hmmm…see where i can break and enter. nah, i’ll just stay home. adr will be by after work, parents should be home around 11pm.


omg the amount of scratches on my car is unbelievable. esp on the passenger side. i don’t know what you guys do getting into my car but holy crap. and these aren’t even surface scratches, i dunno wtf kind they are but they’re white…what is that, primer? when my dad sees them he’s gonna yell at me. but i don’t get it. i don’t know how i keep getting them i just do…my parents have cars for 10 years and don’t get scratches in them, i have mine for a year and have tons.

i went and did my errands. paid my credit card bill that i forgot about, got gas….don’t give into that whole discounted gas with purchase of a car wash thing, cuz they didn’t give me any damn discount. i still paid 1.55, not 1.45 as the sign says. arg. i called to renew my prescriptions since i have the new mail order drug thing…and i called temp agency. i could have had a job starting tomorrow. mail room clerk..sorting mail, entering simple things onto a computer, long term position. while she was explaining it to me i was thinking of what i should say because i didn’t want it. MAIL ROOM CLERK FOR CHRISTS SAKE I’M A COLLEGE GRADUATE! i’m not fucking sorting mail for 7$ an hour. but it started tomorrow, so i got to use the excuse of having another job where i need a weeks notice.

oh yeah i forgot to mention, i figured out what job i need to have. waitress at the harbor club at HSBC arena. you take people’s orders in the 200 level seats…i can walk up and down the stairs while watching the game taking orders on a palm pilot. but i figure you gotta know someone to get that job lol. a season of free games, how fantastic would that be. getting paid to be there for the games even better hehe

i’ve been getting myself slightly motivated to start a webdesign “company”…create a site for myself to advertise my services. and i’ve even thought about possibly “hiring” kristen at work to do graphic work for me, if it came to that. she’s a graphic designer, i’d pay her for what i’d need done…so i might work on that today…figure out what i’d need to put on the site and stuff. make up some dummy sites as examples of what i can do, that sort of thing. it’s just that i see what’s on the web and i see how much better i can do it. and i see that there is a need for really affordable web design, which i can provide. god 500$ a site would make my day, and “professionals” charge over 1000$ for simple sites. small businesses can’t afford that…so there’s my niche lol. i gotta get back to my flash lessons too, because that’ll make me more marketable i think.

trying to work out some plans to go see danielle in november. gotta see if nate will go with me. that’s the only way my mom is going to let me drive out there – oddly enough. it’s cuz nate could drive my car, no one else can. the first 2 weekends in nov are good for her, so gonna see what’s up on this end since nate claims he won’t be working in november.

oh and for what seems like no reason, but there is one, i’m gonna say this again. i have really amazing friends.


ha guess who signed a 2 year deal with the sabres 🙂 BOUT FRIGGEN TIME!

didn’t expect to hear from nate today, but he called a bit ago. he had to check in on…something. i guess the plan is to go see “red dragon” later in the week (assuming friday or sat night) with his friend andy, and adrienne. my feeling is that he should pay for adr’s ticket too, but i’m not gonna express that feeling LOL. nate’s whole “we’ll do something later on in the week” line should be patented. he’d make alot of money from it lol.

do i seem irritated again? cuz i’m really not this time. it’s hard to convey feelings in type, but oh well. i’m quite content at the moment. bored, but content. and sorta hungry even tho i actually ate dinner tonight.


canadian airing of the osbournes… so friggen funny *love being a border baby*…the bubbles quote is 2984294 times funnier when it’s unbleeped. now i wish i’d been taping the unedited ones all along, cuz it’d be great to have unbleeped ozzy wav files haha. and you can put on closed captioning and see what ozzy is actually saying. but yeah. hiiiiilllllaaaarious.

so in honor of the osbournes, the first edition of my to-be-daily haiku poem.

ozzy is so great
can’t use the remote control
no bubbles for him