W the lovable goof.

When I re-did this site and re-read most of my old blog posts from the last 15ish years, it never occurred to me that I would also revisit my opinion of George W Bush and his 8 years in office. In Obama’s first few years, a certain friend joined a FB group called something like, Let History Be The Judge of George W Bush. He also “liked” pages for Bobby Jindal after his speech rebuttal. I couldn’t fathom this person being a republican, but I can’t fathom that a lot. I laughed at the “history judging” W, because it seemed so clear that he was terrible, and created terrible policies.

And then came Trump.

And I’m forced to admit that Bush (and Cheney) are moderate! That I long for those 8 years, when the world may have hated us, we were still respected. Bush seems like just a lovable goofball, fighting with is poncho at the inauguration, talking about being a pet portrait painter. That I wouldn’t mind getting a beer with him (or a hot dog, if you’re Stephen Colbert). That I actually respect his opinion on the current administration (!!!). Dick Cheney is a voice of reason. That I’d rather see Karl “Ham” Rove over Kellyanne Conway. Because at least their lies and distortion weren’t so blatantly obvious, so it seemed reasonable that people believed them. WTF has happened?!?

Trump.

I can’t keep up with my outrage over the administration’s first 100 days. I can’t keep up with the horrible cabinet picks, and terrible legislation regarding the environment, and terrible travel bans. I just hope the Russia ties turn into a big thing and the whole lot of them get pushed out.

An Open Letter

So it happened. Donald Trump was inaugurated as the 45th President. I did not watch it, but it wasn’t exactly a form of protest, as 1. I was sleeping and 2. I think I’ve only ever watched Obama’s first. God did not smite him down when he placed his tiny hand on the bible (unfortunately) and there was not immediate nuclear war. So far so good!

Yesterday was the Women’s March on Washington, and sister marches across the country (and world, even Antarctica!), including one in Buffalo. I tossed the idea of going around in my head for a while, even thinking about last minute driving to DC but in the end I did not attend. I am so proud and happy for my many friends who did go. And I’m extremely disappointed in one friend, who “liked” on fb, a photo of the Women’s march, with the Wonka meme saying “Tell me again how many women’s rights were taken away by Trump in his first 24 hours”. Sigh. I so badly want to send her a message, but I feel like I shouldn’t. But I can’t get it out of my head, so here we go.

You’re my friend, and even thought we don’t see each other often, it’s good we are friends. But I absolutely cannot understand your politics, and the political things you “like” on fb. Being a Trump supporter aside, which I also cannot understand, I just cannot fathom you’re dismissal of the Women’s March, and women’s rights. YOU are a woman! YOU have a DAUGHTER! How can you think that more rights for women is a bad thing? How can you not want to ensure she can get whatever she needs? How can you not support efforts to make sure she is treated the same as everyone else?

I hope to god she is not overlooked for a job or promotion because she’s a woman. I hope to god she doesn’t have a boss with a “grab them by the pussy” attitude. I hope to god she doesn’t go on a date with someone who forces themselves on her. I hope to god she doesn’t experience a sexual assault only to see the perpetrator walk free. I hope to god she never has a medical issue that she can’t get treated, because of governmental rules.

I understand someone being a republican, or a conservative. I can understand having different beliefs regarding economic theories. But I cannot understand a woman being against women’s rights. I can’t understand supporting people and ideas that will make your daughter’s life harder, as she’s the one who will bear the brunt of any policies that are passed, not us.

That was fun

I started reading Oliver Sachs’ book, Migraine. He wrote it in the 60s I believe, with an update in the 90s, so I’m not sure how outdated it might be, but…it mentions all the different types of aura’s people may have, and I realize I’m quite lucky with mine being rather rare, and fairly normal and unobtrusive in comparison. But as if reading it put thoughts in my head, I had a sort of new type of aura while I slept last night. I was woken up at 8:30 by the fact that my entire face and lips were numb/tingling as if they had fallen asleep. I’ve had those types of feelings before, but not my entire face, and not while I slept. So I got up and took some frova and tried to sleep again but I felt like that sensation lasted much longer than any other numbness sensation I’ve had before. It worried me, but nothing else seemed impaired, as if I had a stroke. While I slept for a few more hours I did have pain in the right half of my head, but upon getting out of bed I was mostly fine. I drank coffee in hope of it helping, but after that I felt super dizzy and shaky, and I don’t know if it was the caffeine or the migraine, or what. I feel very not well.

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I absolutely cannot stand the thought that we’re going to have to hear from the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES in one line posts on Twitter for the foreseeable future. I can’t stand that that is how he chooses to communicate. I can’t stand it I can’t stand it I can’t stand it.

Sometimes I start to feel like we have all over reacted, and things won’t be so bad, but then I am quickly reminded about all the horrible things happening…and I don’t meet racism/discrimination being “acceptable” now…I mean the people he is appointing to important positions, and why he’s appointing them – business favors. The thought that he could approve laws and get rid of laws that will benefit himself, his businesses, his business friends…I am constantly disgusted.

This is not America 2

It’s been a few days now since Donald Fucking Trump got elected President. A few days to think, a few days closer to him not being President, if you try to be optimistic.

I’m very happy I had 2 days off before having to be around the public, and around potentially gloating Trump supporters. It felt like someone had died. I never expected any election to cause such emotion. We saw Katheryn on Thursday, and she said, what she’ll remember most is walking into the bar and seeing me opening crying in public, and she thought AMERICA LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE, YOU’VE MADE SARA CRY! haha it’s funny, but yeah.

Government gets very little done, when it doesn’t want to. So while republicans control every part, the dems can refuse to work just like the repubs did with Obama. And Trump is not as conservative as people think, plus there still has to be some intelligent and cool headed repubs that don’t support him, perhaps things won’t get out of hand. (Trying to be optimistic here!) But what I’m more scared of is the legitimacy his election gives to the types of things he’s said, how he treats minorities and women…it’s already coming out – anti Semitic graffiti, verbal abuse of Muslims and Hispanics, including children. It’s gross. Teaching children that sexually abusing women is ok…teaching them it’s ok to bully and taunt other children that happen to not be white. Bringing out the very worst thoughts and feelings, and making it seem ok to do so.

Honestly, I don’t think he’ll make a full term, and not because someone is going to assassinate him. I think once he takes office and fully realizes what he has bitten off, he’ll pull a Palin and just resign. Or, he’ll be convicted on one of his upcoming trials, and he’ll quit before Congress can “fire” him, that way he saves face. But then we’ll be left with Mike Pence, who is truly awful and more frightening. Pence is his assassination insurance.

Ugh. It still makes me sad, and it can still bring up tears, but it’s getting better. The mourning, and stages of grief are coming to an end. Life goes on. We do what we can to make things better in the face of all this shit.

This is not America

It happened. Donald Trump is the President elect. Donald Fucking Trump. That orange reality show ass clown.

I was never confident in how this was going to play out. For months I had said he was going to win because the majority of our population is uneducated and you can’t underestimate them. Yes, it is looking like Hillary won the popular vote (like Gore), so you can’t blame the uneducated, but yes I still can. After Brexit passed in the UK, I knew, Trump was going to win.

I honestly thought the “grab them by the pussy” tape was a game changer, that it really did push undecided voters over the edge to Hillary, but apparently it did not. I saw some stat that 51% of white women voted for him. How? How does that even happen? How can you hate yourself that much to allow that kind of behavior towards women?

I don’t even have the words. We spent the evening at Founding Fathers, which was packed, and the atmosphere was great. People were counting down each poll closing, cheering for NY being called for Hillary…and then it just burst. The bottom fell out, there were tears (myself included), we left around 1, before any concession speech, while there was still a shred of hope. I went to bed knowing, but not knowing for sure, that it was over. I finished my evening, literally, in the fetal position on my bed, sobbing.

It’s not about Hillary. It’s not that I was her biggest fan, and can’t stand to see her lose, and not be the first woman president. It’s all about Trump. I’m terrified. I’m scared for my minority – in whatever way – friends. My gay, trans, non white friends. As a whole, I’ll be fine. Economy not withstanding, my life won’t change much. I’m a privileged white person, with a full time job, with health insurance (as crap as it might be). So many people I know that rely on government programs are in trouble. Women as a whole, are in trouble. We are just all in trouble. I’m scared of what his cabinet will be, who his advisers will be, who he’ll appoint to the Supreme Court, and everything they’ll be able to change because it’s all Republican run.

I don’t know this country. I honestly just cannot wrap my mind around anyone’s belief in this man’s ability to run the most powerful country on Earth.

being a woman

The first Presidential debate was last night. I haven’t watched it. I’ve seen a few memes, and tweets, and I’m watching the daily show, but I can’t really comment on it. I have seen that Trump interrupted Hilary 54 times (or something similar). And I’ve seen references to the “woman listening” face that we all have perfected by age 18. Misogynistic stuff. And it made me think about work again. I got my 90 day evaluation a few weeks ago, which was basically glowing. That I caught on very fast and am doing an excellent job. You know, BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING AND AM SUPER QUALIFIED. The people who matter already knew that, which is why I got the job. One of the things I have noticed though….if I’m standing with a male pit manager, and someone has a question, or is coming into the pit for whatever reason, they always talk to the man, and ask the man the question, even though I’m the one in charge in that pit. Even though I’m the one providing the answers, they will still keep asking the man. It’s starting to get annoying. One of these times I’m going to point it out.

mid life crisis

Seriously. I feel so unhappy with everything. I hate it. I’m gonna go to the dr to get meds again. I hate where I am in life, I hate that I haven’t traveled overseas in forever. I hate that I don’t do anything meaningful. I hate that I can’t enjoy anything that J likes, even if it’s something I like too. Just lots of hate.

I saw this quote from Hillary Clinton on Humans of NY, and it’s everything.

“I was taking a law school admissions test in a big classroom at Harvard. My friend and I were some of the only women in the room. I was feeling nervous. I was a senior in college. I wasn’t sure how well I’d do. And while we’re waiting for the exam to start, a group of men began to yell things like: ‘You don’t need to be here.’ And ‘There’s plenty else you can do.’ It turned into a real ‘pile on.’ One of them even said: ‘If you take my spot, I’ll get drafted, and I’ll go to Vietnam, and I’ll die.’ And they weren’t kidding around. It was intense. It got very personal. But I couldn’t respond. I couldn’t afford to get distracted because I didn’t want to mess up the test. So I just kept looking down, hoping that the proctor would walk in the room. I know that I can be perceived as aloof or cold or unemotional. But I had to learn as a young woman to control my emotions. And that’s a hard path to walk. Because you need to protect yourself, you need to keep steady, but at the same time you don’t want to seem ‘walled off.’ And sometimes I think I come across more in the ‘walled off’ arena. And if I create that perception, then I take responsibility. I don’t view myself as cold or unemotional. And neither do my friends. And neither does my family. But if that sometimes is the perception I create, then I can’t blame people for thinking that.”

Things I’ve learned from Pokemon Go

Ok, I give in, I am actually playing Pokemon Go. And J has been unable to resist, after walking around the block with me the other night, and doing all sorts of game research “for me” LOL He downloaded it last night and got to level 5 in one night walk to Delaware Park hahahaha. So we’re going to brunch and on a pokemon date tomorrow. There is a definite lack of pokemon activity in my neighborhood.

So now, my continually updated list of Things I’ve Learned From Pokemon Go

  1. There is a JFK memorial in the little cemetery across the street from the NTPD. (But it appears it’s no longer there, or I’m just blind because I couldn’t find the stone)
  2. There is a nature preserve with trails in NT: The North Tonawanda Audubon Nature Preserve (also known as the Klydel Wetlands). http://www.buffaloaudubon.org/tonawandaklydel.php (Ok, now that I looked it up, I did sort of know it was there, because they started talking about it when I was finishing high school, BUT I didn’t know it was that big, I only knew the yellow trail.)
  3. There is a mini Statue of Liberty across from the Twist of the Mist near the Rainbow Bridge.

 

To be continued….

Pokemon Go

So it’s been 3 days since the world went nutso over the new Pokemon Go app. I started seeing posts about it Monday so I dled it to see what it was. Now, I am of the age where I missed the Pokemon phenomenon, and I really know almost nothing about it. But this game is brilliant. I can understand how people who are younger than me, and were into Pokemon, are going bananas. It really is just such a great concept, to get people out and active, walking around to collect pokemon, get to stops and gyms to train and battle, meet other players in real life, discover your city. It’s just fantastic. Now I’m not really playing, I just wanted to see what it was like, and then I went out to the Terminal today to see if there were any there, so I could get a neat looking screen cap. (I did, plus it’s a gym and there are 2 pokestops there too) I wish I could be more into it, it seems fun, but I don’t expect to play more because I’m just not going to walk around alone, looking at my phone all the time. But perhaps I’ll keep it on the phone to potentially get creative screenshots.

In garden news, I harvested all my garlic this week. At the garlic seminar I went to with Susan a few years ago, I swear the instructor said to wait 3 weeks after the solstice to harvest, so that’s what I’ve been doing and it seems to be a good time to do it. I harvested 21 Japanese garlic bulbs (a spicy variety I got at the seminar), 40 bulbs from cloves I saved from last year’s harvest, and 26 from cloves from the farmers market last fall….It’s a lot of garlic. Every year I just get more out of control, planting more, I need to dial it back a bit this year. Even giving half of last years harvest to my mom, we still both have cloves frozen in jars in the freezer. I may try to dehydrate some as an experiment, and maybe make my own garlic powder.

The peas are nearly finished, and the green beans are just starting to come in. The reseeded tomatoes have gone nuts, I’m not even going to be able to reach all of them (again). Lots of peppers on the plants too.

 

I’ve been watching Doctor Who to finally finish last season, but I’ve only been half paying attention while playing a game on the laptop and typing this. They seem like important episodes (Clara dying, the Doctor mourning), maybe I should watch them again…