MAGA Cult coup, live on TV

I’ve spent the day watching MAGA cult members storming the US Capitol and breaching the building. Scenes you’ve watched on tv before, but in other countries.

This is what America has come to? Half the population living in a parallel universe, rallying around a reality show con man? How is this even happening? How is the divide between our realities that vast?

I don’t even know what to say. It’s astounding. It’s gross.

**

In other news I am immensely unhappy. This shit doesn’t help of course, but I can turn the TV off at any time. I need to be medicated, but I still have 3 more weeks til I see whoever my dr is now. I am in pain of some kind every day. From the plantar fasciitis that resists treatment, to just feeling like I’m twice my age and having to hobble for a min each time I get up, the only thing actually under control is the chronic migraine. So hooray for small favors. I hate living with someone, I just want to be alone. What is the point of life?

Election 2020

What a dumpster fire 2020 has been, and everyone knew the election was going to be no different. Between covid, and racism, and misinformation etc…it was a foregone conclusion. It was not possible to go well. Despite my best efforts to remain a pessimist, and my predictions that Trump would win again, a spark of hope did still remain deep down inside. I said when Trump won this time, I wouldn’t be crying like 2016, I’d just be furious, but I ended my long, very long day in tears again, hyperventilating and punching my car radio when Trump’s 2 am speech began. I went to bed in a combination of despair and anger, and woke up to…news that was not as bad as expected. Logically I knew it wasn’t over, due to all the mail in ballots that I know need to be counted, but it truly felt over and the morning news that it wasn’t was nice to see. So…it’s still not over, it’s still leaning slightly Biden, but no matter the results, it’s still going to be a shit show dumpster fire.

So…besides that. I decided in late summer to volunteer to be a poll worker. The Daily Show was talking about a shortage of poll workers, because retirees that usually work elections did not want to be exposed to covid, so I stepped up. I had to be at my location at 5am, and had to stay until everything was closed and taken care of, which ended up being nearly 10pm….that’s 17 hours. And while you get paid, and that pay is more than a day at work, my normal day at work is 8 hours, so it’s really not enough money.

You have to do a training class (yearly, if you remain on the list to work elections) but you are presented a lot of information very quickly, so in the end it wasn’t super helpful for the day of. They provide a ton of instructions in books that is supposed to step by step walk you through everything you have to do, but still…it’s so much. There were 8 of us and one is supposed to be the chairman, but we all arrive and no one seems to know who the chairman is. Including the woman who turns out, was the chairman. Now she has worked every election I’ve voted in since buying my house. That’s at least 12 years. You would think she would know what needs to be done, and you’d be wrong. So immediately setting up seemed like a shit show, not taking charge, not assigning jobs, not seeming to know what needed to be done. Luckily there was another experienced woman there who took a bit of control, and we got everything ready, but it was just shocking to me that something as important as elections are left to novices who really don’t know what to do.

I was the first person to vote, since it was my polling place, and we had a line from 6am to about 7:30. After that, it was just small groups and singles fairly steadily, but no real line. We expected a lunch and dinner rush that never materialized, but in the end our numbers were larger than they usually are according to the experienced workers.

I guess I was influenced by the fear mongering a bit, because I had expected issues…for example, you can’t Electioneer…which means you can’t advertise for a candidate on the ballot by wearing a shirt or hat etc, so I expected the MAGA hat crowd to be out all dressed up, and then cause problems when asked to remove the items. It didn’t happen. Yes there were 2 people I saw that had Trump gear on, that we had to ask them to remove, but they did without complaint. I thought there might be some intimidation, although I am in a republican area, and there wasn’t. I didn’t pay much attention to what was going on nationwide, but even today I have not heard anything about intimidation issues in other areas, so that’s good. Everything went smoothly between set up and close.

Because once again, closing was a shit show. The woman who knew more of what to do had to be the first to leave, as she had to deliver the memory cards from the machine to City Hall right away. The rest of us had to stay to shut down the machines, and do the rest of the stuff and leave all together. I had the extra job of taking ballots and other gear to City Hall (which I had some media-fear anxiety about, with fantasy situations in my head of being accosted by Trump crazies and shit, that obviously didn’t happen). But again, with no real leadership, while the chairman did do the things she knew had to be done, the rest of us was left to figure it out on our own. And there was so much she didn’t know, things that weren’t new for this year, that she just SHOULD HAVE. It was mind boggling.

In the end, everything was fine. The day actually went way faster than expected, at least until dinner time, where those final 3 hours felt as long as the previous 12. But it was a long, long day, and given my real job schedule, I was very tired. I had to take the day off, obviously, but I also had to take Monday off so I could try to sleep, and because I wouldn’t be able to work til 3 am at the casino, then work 17 hours for the election. I went to bed around 9 on Monday, up at 4, but it was terrible sleep. Once I was finished I went to Founding Fathers as has become tradition. Home around 2:30, made for 23 hours of being awake. Yikes.

Would I do it again? I’m not sure. If my current job situation remains, probably not. My hours make it really hard. If my search for a new job ends up being fruitful (not looking good, as I didn’t even get an interview for a fucking customer service phone job), and I find a job with normal hours, then maybe. Taking 2 days off, and figuring out the sleep thing is just not practical. But with a day job, that would only need 1 day off, I’d be willing. We shall see.

Quarantine…again…but for real

“Quarantine” has been thrown out a lot when discussing the last 6 months. But as a smart person knows, “lock down” and “stay at home” orders were not actually the same as quarantine.

We were in lock down, with nothing open except essential businesses. We had stay at home orders, to keep away from people and hopefully stop the spread.

Now I am actually in quarantine. J tested positive on the 9th, after being sick for 3 days. He had a fever and GI issues, so I took him to get tested on July 5th as a precaution cuz I knew GI issues were accepted as a symptom, and having a fever as an adult is weird. But he got better, so we really didn’t think it was going to be covid, but just food poisoning or something. Urgent care called 4 days later with the results and boom, we are quarantined. He hadn’t worked because he was sick enough that he couldn’t, and once he had been tested he was not allowed to work until he got results. But me? I kept working 3 more days, cuz I was not sick.

And I am still not sick. I’m not sure how it is possible. The test takes too long, so in the meantime we were still sharing the same living space (separate bedrooms at least), and not being particularly careful about shared items (realized over a week later that we were using the same bathroom cup still, as well as toothpaste). The urgent care Dr had speculated that I’d get sick by the 12th. The 12th came and went, and I am not sick.

Based on the time line of sickness (lol), J will be non-contagious tomorrow, the 15th. I was advised not to get tested without symptoms, because I might be negative one day and catch it the next, so they would be useless results. He needs 2 negative tests to return to work, so we are going to both get tested on the 16th. My results at that point should be clear, and he can begin the process of returning to work.

And regarding work. He got to sign up for disability, however I am sitting here unpaid. Our job does not follow state law, so they did not have to provide 14 sick days to employees as per Cuomo’s law, and the federal law that they do follow excludes companies with over 500 employees (for some stupid ass reason, wtf)

Back to me not being sick. I really don’t think it’s possible that I didn’t catch it. I have a history of getting bad cases of every illness I have caught (all those chicken pox type diseases of childhood), and I fully expected to catch the full brunt of covid (hopefully minus the hospitalization) at some point in time. Am I really sitting here with a body full of covid and NO symptoms? There are stories of some patients only having a headache, and sure I have had a headache this week…but that is just my life! Could I have had it with only a headache? I mean, the tests are going to tell us, but it’s just kind of mind blowing to me either way….either I somehow managed not to catch it when sharing the same space as J, or I had it with no symptoms. And that in itself is scary, because in any normal time, we would have assumed J had food poisoning and not a communicable disease. If we weren’t proactive and took him for a test, we would have continued as normal, he even would have gone back to work 1 day that week because he was better. We would have been super spreaders, he not knowing he had it, and me not having symptoms and continuing as normal. That’s why this is such a problem. All these non symptomatic people walking around. Or people who are sick and don’t have insurance, and don’t get tested, but “recover” quickly and can still spread it. This is not going away. Wear your mask.

Work has been a whole other shit show. As soon as it came out that someone (J) tested positive everyone starts freaking out. Sick calls because people don’t want to be there, some that he worked closely with also put into quarantine (not sure if it was by work, or by the state). The contact tracing seems sketchy, as one of the friends we listed because she had been at our house never got called (luckily she is smart and proactive and got tested on her own, negative). Other friends are calling us, asking why we didn’t turn in their names….well the tracers only asked about the 3 days prior to symptoms…we can only give them the info they ask for. And if you are worried, get your own damn test! Being called by the state doesn’t actually get you anything. Ooooh they emailed me my quarantine notice, big deal. I also live with the positive test, I didn’t just have a beer with him outside on a restaurant patio. 😛

Anyway. I am quarantined until July 23rd, I guess regardless as to my test results. Tho if J is contagious until the 15th, shouldn’t I be quarantined for 14 days after that? Whatever. Just tell me what to do State Dept of Health and I’ll do it. (They send me a txt survey every day, asking if anyone has developed new symptoms, 9 more days of monitoring to go.)

Oh, also, my mom got sick 2 days ago…went for a test, no results yet. But she was our errand girl, and we needed groceries. Luckily Adr has been in town at her mom’s and grocery shopped for us awwwww.

Oh, one last thing. Quarantine is a little harder when everything isn’t shut down. I mean, I’m still totally fine not going out, but I do see an awful lot of good looking restaurant food on FB that I think, oh, I want that, and then realize I can’t, not even take out, cuz I can’t leave the house. 🙁 It’s national mac n cheese day, I want some good mac n cheese!

blah

I’m depressed again. The summer of George Sara is coming to an end. We’ve been called back to work. Short training a week from today, then presumably back on the schedule, though there is nothing official yet. That’s not the only reason why I’m depressed again, but there is no specific identifiable reason.

I have not yet heard anything about the Terminal job, and my attempts to reach out and ask about a timeline have not been answered. I know how they work though, things move slow, and that’s ok. I don’t have an immediate need for the job (I haven’t gone back, freaked out, and thrown my badge yet haha) I just want an idea of when they might start interviewing etc.

Searching for another job is depressing. I am not stupid, I can do ANYTHING, I can train in anything and then do the job well. I just don’t know how to get hired. Not that there are any other jobs, other than the Terminal, that I actually want just….I want something else to do with my life. But I don’t know how to read XYZ job listing, make myself appear to satisfy the requirements enough to get an interview, and then prove that I am the best choice. And there is the same problem I faced 20 years ago, exiting college, where every listing wants experience. Take all these jobs related to processing mortgages. There are A LOT of them, and I could do that. Teach me how, and I can do that. How do I get into processing mortgages when every job listing requires at least 1 year experience in processing mortgages? How do I find the job that gives me that 1 year?

And then there is the salary issues. I am in a position to take a pay cut, and I know that I am going to. That’s fine. But there is a limit! I understand an entry level job, say in mortgage processing, is going to start at the bottom end of the salary spectrum. But holy crap those bottom ends are soooo low. Everyone wants advanced education, experience, etc, but then doesn’t want to pay for it.

I know all these things I’m saying have been said by millions of others. It’s just where I am at right now. Facing the inevitability of staying in my current job because I can’t get anything else that will allow me to financially survive in my life. And while I have been looking at online job listings, I haven’t applied for anything, because of all this pessimism. I want a new job, but I’m depressed about my options, so I can’t get the motivation to apply for the ones that seemed do-able. 🙁

It feels like the end of Summer Vacation, when it’s time to go back to school, a feeling I haven’t had in a long time. The last 2 weeks of freedom, and looking back at all I haven’t accomplished in my 3 months off. All the hikes and outdoor activities I wanted to do but haven’t, parks I wanted to visit but didn’t, crafts I have but not yet attempted and now I won’t because I’m going to go back to the work, sleep, wait to go to work cycle. And as things start to open back up, I’ll be pushed back into being social and attending events I don’t want to attend, and having no “completely free” time because there is always someplace I am being forced to go.

And all this is not to mention the fact that going back to work is exposing me to the virus. No matter how much we clean, or if experts are right and it seems that covid doesn’t spread much on surfaces, I will still be in an environment that is too full of (shitty inconsiderate) people spending too much time too close together in recirculated air. Of course, people are going to fight the mask wearing, wear it wrong, etc. I am having none of it. I will not be silent. No mask, no action. Simple. I’ll end up getting fired for lack of customer service and then I will NEED a job haha.

*edit* Denied an interview for the Terminal position. I did not meet the requirements. Great. I will just return to my dungeon of despair and collect a paycheck for eternity.

Quarantine Revelations

I had a revelation the last few days. I am not depressed for the first time in my adult life. I’ve been off work for 2 months now, and while I was worried about being bored, I am still NOT BORED. I am not necessarily doing anything productive, but aside from a few nights where once it got late, I thought, might as well go to sleep, I have not found myself sitting here saying, I wish I had to work.

This “freedom” to do anything, despite not being able to do much due to virus LOL, has just been so great. With the steroids for the headache I haven’t been sleeping, and I do feel really tired, but I slept 4 hours yesterday, got up ate an amazing piece of toast (what?! It was amazing again today and I’m going to eat the whole loaf), cut the grass, went for a walk, scrubbed the basement bathroom, and got inspired to make baked beans. I never am that productive EVER. In my pre-virus life, I sleep for 9 hours, lay in bed for another hour, move onto the couch for a few hours until I have to go to work and then start over. Is this what it is like to not be depressed? Is the lack of obligation that freeing? The requirement to do something or be somewhere that restricting? Because I am realizing in my usual life, I tended not to do anything on work days, cuz…I was just waiting around to go to work.

So the main revelation, other than the depression, is I think I’m going to quit my job. Not immediately. I’ll go back when called. But I think it is beyond time to move on and I want to do it by 2021. I don’t even need to find a good job, or a job with equitable pay, I just need *something else*.

Sitting here as parts of the country try to reopen, I’m feeling the dread creep in. That dread that I recently realized I have lost. I don’t hate my job, I may dislike my current boss a bit, but I don’t hate him I would just rather him not be there. It would not be the end of the world to go back for another 10 years. But thinking about getting called back…next month, the month after, whenever…I do not want to return to that dark dungeon of miserable people and continue my “work” (I do nothing).

I’ve always had delusions of being able to create a side hustle business out of something I can make…photography, crafts, whatever. You know, live that artisan dream. I know it’s unlikely to happen, or happen on a scale to live on, but these 2 months off of stitching, and surfing pinterest for crafts… I think I need to do something creative, even if that is just working in an arts and crafts store. At this moment, I could see myself perfectly happy stocking shelves at Michael’s, even if it’s around annoying shoppers and children. Just because it is something that is not a dark dungeon of despair.

Does this mean once I go back I won’t fall right back into the easy money, the lack of responsibility my job brings, and this mindset falls aside again? Honestly, I probably will. But I’m going to TRY to remain in this head space and move forward.

All that said….before the shut down the CTRC had posted a job listing for, basically, a community outreach organizer. It’s sort of a fancy official title for a whole ton of the things I used to do there for free. It was exciting and I had thought about applying. Enter the imposter syndrome – I don’t necessarily meet their qualifications, I don’t have experience in X, etc. I need my feminist friends to remind me that this doesn’t stop mediocre white men from applying to jobs, and to just do it! I had pysched myself up to apply, though I had a ton of concerns. Regardless of the pay cut, a job for a non profit seems like maybe not a smart financial decision in the long term. If it’s a contract job, is it a year? 2? Then what, I have to start over again. What if funding runs out? Then everything shut down, financial crisis, makes it seem like an even worse financial decision to make.

Well they re-posted the job yesterday amidst my revelation. Seems like a sign. So I am 100% going to apply. And those concerns? Well of course they are still there, but I am worried less about them. Oh man, in my shower fantasies, I can see myself in the job, doing great meaningful things. I can give the perfect interview, and get hired on the spot, and set up my office in the dirty dusty non climate controlled Central Terminal and be a happy camper.

So off to work on a cover letter. It’s been a while since I applied externally for a new position.

covid-19 etc

It’s been over a year since I last posted, and that was a dream. And before that it was books I read. As I’ve aged, I just have nothing to say here. And with facebook (and other social media that I don’t use like twitter) there isn’t so much need for personal blogs. You just put your single quick thought on another platform for everyone to like and comment on, because you know you have an “audience”. My attempt to return here to do the same never happened. But my hatred runs high for facebook right now, and while I haven’t been able to cut the cord, maybe I’ll end up back here in the end.

Anyway. I/we have been out of work for 4 (or is it 5?) weeks now due to non essential businesses being shut down for the covid-19 virus. I thought it would be a good time to come back and write here, about my “quarantine” experience, but like I already said, I don’t have anything to say. Initially our shut down was set for 2 weeks. Then 3, and now indefinite. When there was an initial report that we’d be shut til April 20 I had a moment where I thought WTF am I going to do for a month? I’m gonna need to go get a job at walmart for something to do. But the 20th is 2 days away and it looks like NY is shut down at least until May 14th now…another month. And…I am not sad. Or bored.

Previously, when I forgot I had scheduled vacations with no plans, and I just sat home for 9 days with nothing to do, it was a struggle. But honestly, I am not having many issues here. I have crafts to work on, books to read, tv to watch. I have fallen into a routine where I don’t turn the TV on until around dinner, or even after, and I read in the afternoon. Night time brings tv, crafts, movies (watching all the Marvel movies in chronological order). There is no where to go except the grocery store, so we’ve gone in the car to drive around and play pokemon/wizards unite. When the weather was getting nicer (before this week where it decided to snow every day!) I was going for walks, looking forward to being in the garden. I haven’t been “forced” to go to bars, and listen to shit music I can’t stand, and be social with people I don’t like. And of course, I haven’t had to go to work. I keep saying, that I am living my best introvert life right now.

This week wasn’t particularly great though. I’ve been on these new injectibles for migraine treatment for about a year, and I’d say they’ve been more successful that previous treatments. But not this week. I’ve had this current headache for 6 days now, which hasn’t happened in a long time. And that brings annoyances and irritation. Like J’s constant coughing/throat clearing/human noises like breathing and chewing. Driving me nuts. And interactions with my mom bring me nothing by aggravation. And I know I’m being an asshole but I can’t stop. I am so annoyed by everything, and given that there is no where to escape to, there is no where to be alone. And J hit a parked car with my car. Great. Right bumper and side panel is fucked, and it should not be driven cuz there is a bad noise of something rubbing against the tire. So even if I wanted to escape in my car while he is using his (since now he has to), I can’t, until HE gets it fixed.

All this weirdness has opened up new ways to stay in touch. Not to say I haven’t stayed in touch with Eric, Adr and Mary, we have a group chat through FB, but we have used a video chat app to have drinks “together” and play online trivia, which has been fun. A few people I haven’t talked to in ages…I mean, 20+ years…have reached out, which is weird but also nice.

And since, for the most part, I am not having issues with this isolation I have started to worry that going back to “normal” life, whatever that ends up looking like, is going to stress me out.

A few things I do “miss” though…I desperately want to get my hair cut, but I can’t. And I can’t wait to be able to go to a sit down restaurant, be waited on, be served hot food (not take out!), and have dishes be taken away to be done. (I did put my foot down regarding household chores, I refuse to do any more dishes. That is J’s job now. If I’m going to be the one doing all the cooking, and cleaning, yard work and laundry I absolutely am not doing anymore dishes or putting the laundry away, and I’d rather like to not cut the grass either.)

And the internet is horrible. Facebook is horrible. It’s just full of everyone’s stupid opinions, political shit, and everyone is getting even meaner than normal. Quarantine stress? I guess but….wtf. It’s awful. It is not helping.

I guess that’s it. Maybe it won’t be a year til I have something to say again.

Hillary Mother Fucking Clinton

Hillary wrote a book, and she came to Buffalo to do a signing. !! All you had to do was preorder the book from Talking Leaves, so I sent J to do it for me since he was closer and I was scared it would sell out right away when it started last month. He got the new book, and her children’s book, and that got you a ticket to the signing where she’d sign both books. The signing was yesterday at Larkin Square, inside The Filling Station (little cafe).

1000 tickets were available, so I went fairly early to make sure I wasn’t at the end of the line, and I was in the first 300. Old neighbor Jenny was there, from Boston, with her father so I met up with them when I got there, and then again after it was all done. The Buffalo News interviewed me and took my photo for twitter but thankfully I never saw anything get posted. Phew. I had Adr’s mom add some purple satin to one of my suit jackets, like Hillary’s concession jacket, and I wore that over my Nasty Woman shirt, with my Notorious RGB dissent collar necklace. There were all kinds of “girl power” tshirts, people with campaign pins, and other related garb.

There were a few protestors…a guy with a really nicely made sign saying to stop blaming others for her loss blah blah blah. Then a guy in fatigues showed up with a little flag and just kept yelling about Benghazi. And when we left, a 3rd guy had shown up with a cardboard sign I didn’t understand, something like “your pied piper didn’t succeed”…shrug.

Anyway, they let about 50 people at a time in through security, and into the Filling Station, where she was at a table signing books. They took all our books ahead of time so she could start signing before people were being let in to say hi, and then you picked them up after you went through. Once you were in, no cameras so I only got a photo from far away, but that’s ok. Everyone got to go up and say something and shake hands. I never know what to say, so when I got there she was signing a book and it went something like this:

HRC: And how are you today?

Me: I’m good how are you?

HRC: I’m good, thank you for coming.

Me: We really shouldn’t be here right now

HRC: *eye roll* I know.

Me: Thank you for everything. *hand shake, walk away*

HRC: I like the purple lapels.

!!!! YAAAY she noticed and liked the jacket. No one else had noticed until one of her assistants at the front of the line noticed.

So it was a cool experience to get to meet her, and see Jenny again. We grabbed lunch after and talked travel and politics etc. Awesome.

W the lovable goof.

When I re-did this site and re-read most of my old blog posts from the last 15ish years, it never occurred to me that I would also revisit my opinion of George W Bush and his 8 years in office. In Obama’s first few years, a certain friend joined a FB group called something like, Let History Be The Judge of George W Bush. He also “liked” pages for Bobby Jindal after his speech rebuttal. I couldn’t fathom this person being a republican, but I can’t fathom that a lot. I laughed at the “history judging” W, because it seemed so clear that he was terrible, and created terrible policies.

And then came Trump.

And I’m forced to admit that Bush (and Cheney) are moderate! That I long for those 8 years, when the world may have hated us, we were still respected. Bush seems like just a lovable goofball, fighting with is poncho at the inauguration, talking about being a pet portrait painter. That I wouldn’t mind getting a beer with him (or a hot dog, if you’re Stephen Colbert). That I actually respect his opinion on the current administration (!!!). Dick Cheney is a voice of reason. That I’d rather see Karl “Ham” Rove over Kellyanne Conway. Because at least their lies and distortion weren’t so blatantly obvious, so it seemed reasonable that people believed them. WTF has happened?!?

Trump.

I can’t keep up with my outrage over the administration’s first 100 days. I can’t keep up with the horrible cabinet picks, and terrible legislation regarding the environment, and terrible travel bans. I just hope the Russia ties turn into a big thing and the whole lot of them get pushed out.

An Open Letter

So it happened. Donald Trump was inaugurated as the 45th President. I did not watch it, but it wasn’t exactly a form of protest, as 1. I was sleeping and 2. I think I’ve only ever watched Obama’s first. God did not smite him down when he placed his tiny hand on the bible (unfortunately) and there was not immediate nuclear war. So far so good!

Yesterday was the Women’s March on Washington, and sister marches across the country (and world, even Antarctica!), including one in Buffalo. I tossed the idea of going around in my head for a while, even thinking about last minute driving to DC but in the end I did not attend. I am so proud and happy for my many friends who did go. And I’m extremely disappointed in one friend, who “liked” on fb, a photo of the Women’s march, with the Wonka meme saying “Tell me again how many women’s rights were taken away by Trump in his first 24 hours”. Sigh. I so badly want to send her a message, but I feel like I shouldn’t. But I can’t get it out of my head, so here we go.

You’re my friend, and even thought we don’t see each other often, it’s good we are friends. But I absolutely cannot understand your politics, and the political things you “like” on fb. Being a Trump supporter aside, which I also cannot understand, I just cannot fathom you’re dismissal of the Women’s March, and women’s rights. YOU are a woman! YOU have a DAUGHTER! How can you think that more rights for women is a bad thing? How can you not want to ensure she can get whatever she needs? How can you not support efforts to make sure she is treated the same as everyone else?

I hope to god she is not overlooked for a job or promotion because she’s a woman. I hope to god she doesn’t have a boss with a “grab them by the pussy” attitude. I hope to god she doesn’t go on a date with someone who forces themselves on her. I hope to god she doesn’t experience a sexual assault only to see the perpetrator walk free. I hope to god she never has a medical issue that she can’t get treated, because of governmental rules.

I understand someone being a republican, or a conservative. I can understand having different beliefs regarding economic theories. But I cannot understand a woman being against women’s rights. I can’t understand supporting people and ideas that will make your daughter’s life harder, as she’s the one who will bear the brunt of any policies that are passed, not us.

That was fun

I started reading Oliver Sachs’ book, Migraine. He wrote it in the 60s I believe, with an update in the 90s, so I’m not sure how outdated it might be, but…it mentions all the different types of aura’s people may have, and I realize I’m quite lucky with mine being rather rare, and fairly normal and unobtrusive in comparison. But as if reading it put thoughts in my head, I had a sort of new type of aura while I slept last night. I was woken up at 8:30 by the fact that my entire face and lips were numb/tingling as if they had fallen asleep. I’ve had those types of feelings before, but not my entire face, and not while I slept. So I got up and took some frova and tried to sleep again but I felt like that sensation lasted much longer than any other numbness sensation I’ve had before. It worried me, but nothing else seemed impaired, as if I had a stroke. While I slept for a few more hours I did have pain in the right half of my head, but upon getting out of bed I was mostly fine. I drank coffee in hope of it helping, but after that I felt super dizzy and shaky, and I don’t know if it was the caffeine or the migraine, or what. I feel very not well.