W the lovable goof.

When I re-did this site and re-read most of my old blog posts from the last 15ish years, it never occurred to me that I would also revisit my opinion of George W Bush and his 8 years in office. In Obama’s first few years, a certain friend joined a FB group called something like, Let History Be The Judge of George W Bush. He also “liked” pages for Bobby Jindal after his speech rebuttal. I couldn’t fathom this person being a republican, but I can’t fathom that a lot. I laughed at the “history judging” W, because it seemed so clear that he was terrible, and created terrible policies.

And then came Trump.

And I’m forced to admit that Bush (and Cheney) are moderate! That I long for those 8 years, when the world may have hated us, we were still respected. Bush seems like just a lovable goofball, fighting with is poncho at the inauguration, talking about being a pet portrait painter. That I wouldn’t mind getting a beer with him (or a hot dog, if you’re Stephen Colbert). That I actually respect his opinion on the current administration (!!!). Dick Cheney is a voice of reason. That I’d rather see Karl “Ham” Rove over Kellyanne Conway. Because at least their lies and distortion weren’t so blatantly obvious, so it seemed reasonable that people believed them. WTF has happened?!?

Trump.

I can’t keep up with my outrage over the administration’s first 100 days. I can’t keep up with the horrible cabinet picks, and terrible legislation regarding the environment, and terrible travel bans. I just hope the Russia ties turn into a big thing and the whole lot of them get pushed out.

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I absolutely cannot stand the thought that we’re going to have to hear from the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES in one line posts on Twitter for the foreseeable future. I can’t stand that that is how he chooses to communicate. I can’t stand it I can’t stand it I can’t stand it.

Sometimes I start to feel like we have all over reacted, and things won’t be so bad, but then I am quickly reminded about all the horrible things happening…and I don’t meet racism/discrimination being “acceptable” now…I mean the people he is appointing to important positions, and why he’s appointing them – business favors. The thought that he could approve laws and get rid of laws that will benefit himself, his businesses, his business friends…I am constantly disgusted.

This is not America 2

It’s been a few days now since Donald Fucking Trump got elected President. A few days to think, a few days closer to him not being President, if you try to be optimistic.

I’m very happy I had 2 days off before having to be around the public, and around potentially gloating Trump supporters. It felt like someone had died. I never expected any election to cause such emotion. We saw Katheryn on Thursday, and she said, what she’ll remember most is walking into the bar and seeing me opening crying in public, and she thought AMERICA LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE, YOU’VE MADE SARA CRY! haha it’s funny, but yeah.

Government gets very little done, when it doesn’t want to. So while republicans control every part, the dems can refuse to work just like the repubs did with Obama. And Trump is not as conservative as people think, plus there still has to be some intelligent and cool headed repubs that don’t support him, perhaps things won’t get out of hand. (Trying to be optimistic here!) But what I’m more scared of is the legitimacy his election gives to the types of things he’s said, how he treats minorities and women…it’s already coming out – anti Semitic graffiti, verbal abuse of Muslims and Hispanics, including children. It’s gross. Teaching children that sexually abusing women is ok…teaching them it’s ok to bully and taunt other children that happen to not be white. Bringing out the very worst thoughts and feelings, and making it seem ok to do so.

Honestly, I don’t think he’ll make a full term, and not because someone is going to assassinate him. I think once he takes office and fully realizes what he has bitten off, he’ll pull a Palin and just resign. Or, he’ll be convicted on one of his upcoming trials, and he’ll quit before Congress can “fire” him, that way he saves face. But then we’ll be left with Mike Pence, who is truly awful and more frightening. Pence is his assassination insurance.

Ugh. It still makes me sad, and it can still bring up tears, but it’s getting better. The mourning, and stages of grief are coming to an end. Life goes on. We do what we can to make things better in the face of all this shit.

This is not America

It happened. Donald Trump is the President elect. Donald Fucking Trump. That orange reality show ass clown.

I was never confident in how this was going to play out. For months I had said he was going to win because the majority of our population is uneducated and you can’t underestimate them. Yes, it is looking like Hillary won the popular vote (like Gore), so you can’t blame the uneducated, but yes I still can. After Brexit passed in the UK, I knew, Trump was going to win.

I honestly thought the “grab them by the pussy” tape was a game changer, that it really did push undecided voters over the edge to Hillary, but apparently it did not. I saw some stat that 51% of white women voted for him. How? How does that even happen? How can you hate yourself that much to allow that kind of behavior towards women?

I don’t even have the words. We spent the evening at Founding Fathers, which was packed, and the atmosphere was great. People were counting down each poll closing, cheering for NY being called for Hillary…and then it just burst. The bottom fell out, there were tears (myself included), we left around 1, before any concession speech, while there was still a shred of hope. I went to bed knowing, but not knowing for sure, that it was over. I finished my evening, literally, in the fetal position on my bed, sobbing.

It’s not about Hillary. It’s not that I was her biggest fan, and can’t stand to see her lose, and not be the first woman president. It’s all about Trump. I’m terrified. I’m scared for my minority – in whatever way – friends. My gay, trans, non white friends. As a whole, I’ll be fine. Economy not withstanding, my life won’t change much. I’m a privileged white person, with a full time job, with health insurance (as crap as it might be). So many people I know that rely on government programs are in trouble. Women as a whole, are in trouble. We are just all in trouble. I’m scared of what his cabinet will be, who his advisers will be, who he’ll appoint to the Supreme Court, and everything they’ll be able to change because it’s all Republican run.

I don’t know this country. I honestly just cannot wrap my mind around anyone’s belief in this man’s ability to run the most powerful country on Earth.

Sigh…

I don’t want to only post about how much my head hurts, but my head hurts. It makes me super depressed. Super hopeless. It’s been over a week. I thought I was over the hump of this particular headache yesterday, because it wasn’t very bothersome until late before I went to bed. But woke up with it back strong. On my days off. Again. With plans to see Avenue Q with a bunch of people from work tomorrow. I’m so tired of it.

I’m also even more tired of the election than before. Primary next Tuesday, and NY actually matters as neither nomination has been decided. I still don’t really know who to vote for. I change my mind constantly. I’m angry about it all, all the time. Maybe that’s why my head hurts. haha Trump is coming to Buffalo on Monday, and I really want to go see the shit show, but I’m not willing to call in sick for it. I may go photograph the crowds/protest before work. My mind is still constantly getting blown when I find out people I had respect for, or at least thought were marginally intelligent, are Trump supporters. It makes me sad.

Super Tuesday

It’s Super Tuesday. Not exactly meaningful to me in NY as our primary is not for a few more weeks, but hugely important to the country. This election is…gross. It’s truly making me want to throw up when I really think about it. How is this possibly happening that Donald Trump (Drumpf! lol) is the GOP front runner? I know that the GOP themselves are asking the same question, and imploding around what’s happening but…seriously…A racist, sexist buffoon could be the AMERICAN PRESIDENT! Now I am not the most patriotic person in the country, but it still is AMERICA! And this is how a large group of people want to represent the country to the world??

I know the late night shows have been loving this election, and I’ve laughed along with their bits, but the underlying truth that they expose is scary, and it’s not funny anymore.

People keep saying there is no way Trump could win the general election, but then he keeps winning primaries…and by A LOT! Whaaaaat??? The words that come out of his mouth should make everyone cringe, not nod in agreement. It shouldn’t be ok to act the way he acts. I’ll start to agree, he could never win, and then I hear more and more people support him, and I get scared that we are really underestimating the ignorance of the US population. I think that there is no way any educated person, GOP or Democrat could vote for Trump, and then I remember how many uneducated people there are out there. It’s terrifying.

To look at the other side, I honestly don’t know who to vote for in the Democratic primary. I feel like I need to vote strategically, rather than with what my actual beliefs might be. Who will win over the GOP nominee/Trump? There is such inexplicable virulent hatred for Hillary Clinton (like, not normal hatred, extreme uncalled for hatred, like she killed your dog and drank it’s blood hatred) that I think middle of the road, independent, whatever you want to call it voters might actually vote for Trump over her. And then Bernie Sanders being labeled a socialist, when people don’t even really know what that means, will scare too many people away….but into the arms of Trump? I just don’t know.  Then my dad adds in the historic perspective – this happened previously in my parents life with Carter vs Reagan. Reagan was able to earn a lot of Democratic votes by playing the “make America great again” card just like Trump, including my Democratic pro-union grandfather. The US looked weak over the Iran hostages, and he pledged to “make America great again”, and won. Could that really happen again with Trump vs whoever? Could people really be that swayed by nonsensical rhetoric with no action plan behind it? Can educated people look past the racism, classism, sexism, and general grossness, can they get past the cognitive dissonance they feel, and actually vote for him?

Ugh.

I miss Sarah Palin. And Dubya. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.