dream

dream: i guess i was traveling or something, with a few people, and we didn’t really have any money. we had to find somewhere to sleep for the night, but with no money, we had to be like bums. for some reason we couldn’t sleep out in the open though. so we were looking for a place to sleep/hide and went down to these railroad tracks that were sunken compared to the rest of the city. we were trying to pick a place to sleep, on the tracks, but no one knew which tracks were still used or not. we eventually picked a place behind a semi truck. the next day we are trying to get back up to street level from the area where we slept and we ran into some other people who were hiding as well. they had found a way out of the sunken track area so we followed them. we went to get some food at a dunkin donuts and had to pay 11 dollars for a donut. we were like wow. but with the donut came a scratch off game card and i ended up winning a loan for 1700$. all i had to do was give the bank 70$ and i’d get 1700. then i was back at my parents house telling them about the loan and joanne was there, and told me that the loan would be administered by john malm. i freaked out and was all “there is no way i can work with john malm, i just can’t, that bastard stole all of trent’s money”. then there was all this drama about john malm, and he apparently was like a hit man too, which meant he was now after me. then i was at work but it was inside a school cafeteria. there were tons of people everywhere, at the games and inside the pits. the rumor was that john malm and his associates were in the building and looking for me, but i didn’t know what malm looked like. someone pulled me off my game suddenly because they thought malm was there and they were going to point him out to me. my dad was there too i guess trying to protect me, so he was playing roulette on my game just to make sure nothing happened. this person who was going to point out malm was pointing out people that worked for malm, and malm’s son. i almost wanted malm to confront me, so i could be all “so have you paid trent back yet?” i was going to go back onto my roulette game and so i was standing there waiting for the spin to end, and someone who was supposedly with malm had bet stacks and stacks of purple on the outside, and i thought nothing of it. then someone suddenly realized that his bet was waaaaaay over table max. so then greg was the pit boss and he had to call someone and ask about whether the bet could stay or not. i noticed someone else had played a stack of orange chips too, which was way over table max as well. greg got off the phone and came over and said “it all depends on the cash buy in and not the bet.” which makes no sense, but in the dream it meant that all the bets lost. so now the malm associates were super pissed off. i was told not to go back on the game, and then someone came over and gave a piece of paper to mary, who was suddenly in the pit with me. she asked what it was, and he said “oh you know what it’s about.” so she was reading the paper and getting upset, so i looked at what it said. it was a letter from some group saying that they weren’t going to let this horror movie go ahead and film in niagara falls. for all these different reasons that made no sense. then it said something about marilyn manson supporting the movie. reading the letter i got really pissed off cuz apparently i was working on the movie along with mary and some others. i knew the letter was somehow from malm as well, and i really wanted to confront him and be like, wtf you piece of shit. this whole time i really wanted my 1700$ loan and kept trying to figure out a way to get it without having to go through malm. then i guess i was in hiding again, in a room in someone’s basement, and they had a huge boa constrictor. adr2 was there and we were sitting there, and the snake came over and was sitting on her. she got tired of holding the snake so she put it on the shelf where it usually slept. but then it fell off, and went nuts, and turned into an aligator, and it kept thrashing around. whoever’s room this was came in and we were like, can you please do something about your aligator. we went into another room and adr2 turned into angela, and she was setting up some kind of artsy water thing…where water would shoot out from hidden spouts above and below you and make a pretty little show. she kept turning the water on to try things out, and it was spraying all over where i was sitting and i was like wtf. finally i went over and turned the water off and was like dear god, stop!

and i think that was it. wtf. john malm hahahahhahahaha

dream

ROFL just remembered some dream…i guess i was back stage at a nin show, but it was in a department store. so we were hanging around in the stock rooms. and all i really remember is that trent had crates full of stuffed animals. i guess it was all the stuffed animals that fans have given him as presents. he used them to give to his dogs to play with. so some were half chewed up and others were fine. there was one that was 90$.

and holy crap my credit card bill is $65. i haven’t seen a 65$ credit card bill since the nin tour started last march LOL

craaaazy dream

dream

somehow it had been arranged that i was going to get married to victor at work. and for some reason i agreed to this plan although we never talk and don’t know each other all that well. so time went on with the knowledge that we were going to get married, but then i started to have 2nd thoughts. but i didn’t tell anyone because our shift manager terry had been paying for everything involved with this plan. he paid for the engagement ring, and he was paying for us to go out to vegas with a bunch of our friends to get married. so then we’re out in vegas and there happens to be a nin show, so me and all the nin friends we met are there to see the show. i tell everyone that i’m getting married and that i didn’t want to anymore. so someone convinced me that i should tell vic and cancel the whole thing. i still felt bad that terry had spent so much money on the whole thing. so i’m walking around and i see sam, a player from work, at one of the games. i stop to talk to him and i told him i was getting married, and he was like “again?”. so i said i hadn’t ever been married before. then i guess it’s the day of the wedding and i go to whatever casino we were having the ceremony at, and vic is there with some other people from work. i sat down with him and i told him that i didn’t think we should get married, since we didn’t know each other real well and everything. i told him we should just wait, hang out and actually date, and then get married. he seemed really sad, and didn’t really say anything, just looked sad. so i felt bad again, and said fine we can get married. we had the ceremony and then we were all back at home again. i had to get used to introducing people to my husband and i just couldn’t get used to having to say that. we still didn’t really talk or hang out, but we were happy i guess. we were going to be moving into some factory or steel plant that had been redone into apartments, so i went shopping for curtains with my new sister-in-law.

wtf.

dreams dreams…

about vegetables…and burlesque…and school stress…i had to write a paper and turn it in to my professor at a mcdonalds/appliance store. other people were getting really bad grades. when i went to get my grade i hadn’t noted one of my sources so she said i could fix it right there and it would be fine. but it was stressful, then it turned into something about having to take care of a bug problem on a farm…by throwing beetles down to the ground from the balconies of a hotel next door. so i kept trying to fling the bugs really far, and spread them out. sometimes when i went for scoop of beetles it was another bug killer…like eggplant…huge eggplants. and huge watermellons. someone else came up on the balcony to do my job and i was mad, but i could throw the huge watermellons farther onto the field so i stayed. then this mean lady, possibly the professor, came up on the balcony and told me they had outlawed throwing the huge fruits and vegetables. and the burlesque thing was that i had to find entertainment for the goth/movie screening at the terminal and was trying to find burlesque performers in toronto.

ha, ridiculous dream about trent. firstly i guess adr2 and i had finally gotten to a meet and greet, but it was set up like meet and greets at stores, with the celeb behind a table and everyone waiting in line to go up to the table. adr2 went first, and there was no freaking out or anything. then i think there were a few people between us because it was a few minutes before i went, and she was waiting on the other side with some people we apparently knew. i got up there, and i think trent said something about how he always liked my outfits and how we should go shopping together. and he said it totally fem and i was like, wtf. so i go over to adr2 and i’m like wow trent is SO gay. hahaha. then it morphed into canal fest time, and i was at home and apparently i had a son who was like 4. and trent called and my son answered it. then told me this guy trent called and wanted to talk to me and come over. cuz he apparently was interested in me. then it totally changed to going to canal fest with the cast of roseanne. roseanne kept trying to stab me with a fork.

dream

dreamed that there was a treasure island casino in buffalo. i went to it and it was so fabulously cheese tastic. everyone had to dress like pirates and the decor was wonderful. so i txted adr2 to tell her. then i was walking around the casino and through the shops and there was a really cool shop with neat clothes. then i realized that they had a coat hanging in the display window that was david bowie’s union jack coat. !!! so i txted adr2 again that they had the coat and both adr’s showed up out of no where. i pretended to be rich so i could try the coat on to buy, it was 800$. we were all so excited. so i tried it on and i ended up not liking it on, it didn’t fit right, it wasn’t fitted like skinny bowie’s. so it was a bit less exciting but still, i got to try the union jack coat on.

took care of the utilities. cancelled cable, dunno when it’s gonna go out though. from that point on i’ll be on the laptop with the laptop screenname. hired movers, which is going to be insanely expensive. gah. can’t afford!

not sleeping well again. takes forever to fall asleep, then i sleep til like 3. and i’m getting night sweats all the time again, and that’s gross and tmi but oh well.

what the crap. my alarm didn’t go off, so i just got up, thus never made it to meet chris to go out today. gah so pissed cuz its a beautiful day out! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

had an interesting dream that started off like ghostbusters 2, with the pink slime in the subway station. they were exploring it and weird things were happening. then it turns out all the ghostbusters were dead which was why they could see dead people. sigourney weaver’s character was a scientist this time, and there was something to do with these killer goldfish she had trained who ate twizzlers. they were working on these weird goldfish for some reason, but then they discovered since they would pretty much eat anything that came near their water that they could be used to eat nuclear waste to get rid of it. so someone brought over a pop can sized can of nuclear waste to try it. so they dumped one fish into the nuclear waste and it wasn’t really eating it. then it died from radiation poisoning. so they dumped all of the fish in the nuclear waste and they were eating it but also dying fast. then the lab tech who was working on it started getting sick from radiation poisoning and the fish were freaking out and were starting to get out of hand so sigourney started killing them all because they were psycho and going to eat everyone.

then some dream about going to the library for some kind of program they offered that featured video of trent reznor playing more 80s songs, with a nice curly mullet and wearing an ugly flannel shirt. it was great.

ha! trent dream

dreamed i was back in school. i couldn’t really remember my schedule or my locker comb because for some reason i had missed alot of it. but my first class was some sort of music class and it was in a big lecture hall type room, clam shaped with long tables and chairs and a stage up front. so almost like a concert theatre too. when i walked in trent was walking out of class. the teacher was handing back our tests we had taken on…trent reznor of all things. she was putting them at random on the tables so i had to find mine and find a seat. mine was on the same table as trent’s test so i sat there figuring that he would come back in and sit there. i got a b+ on my trent test and i was like, wtf i should know all this stuff. so i was looking at what i got wrong and one of them was like “who did trent give $1.38 to, to buy a coffee in 1992?” LOL i really wanted to look at trent’s grade cuz i figured he should know all this stuff since it happened to him but i thought it was rude so i didn’t look. someone else sat in that seat and i was all grrr. but then we all had to move down to the front of the room to the stage because trent was going to do a demonstration. so i was sitting front and center and he was on stage in just jeans and a burgandy shirt and a baseball hat, informal much like a sound check. there were some other people from bands there, and the teacher explained that they were there to coach trent on how to use voice inflection to change the meaning of a song. so he starts this song, and he is singing so that he sounds mentally retarded. and i burst out laughing, he hears me and he bursts out laughing. but these people and trent continue with this song and dance thing singing like they’re retarded. hahahahah. class ends and my next class is english, i can’t find the room tho cuz it had been so long since i went to it. i get in and mary from work is there. so i sit with her and she had skipped music class. i told her i was going to skip too but was so glad i didn’t cuz trent showed up and the singing like a retard was the funniest thing i had heard in forever. hahah

wtf haha

dream

dream: i was watching some show on tv that apparently was about grammy performances. that and really slutty costumes. they were showing britney spears doing some song that i guess i knew, and had this really slutty outfit on, but it really just looked like a bathing suit with a garter belt and stockings. so she finishes and suddenly i’m AT the show. backstage. so i see her come off the stage, and then next up to perform was michael jackson. he was doing “childhood” but as i’m trying to watch from the side lines, and from behind these sheer curtains so i could only sort of see, i totally didn’t recognize the song at all. i thought, wow it has been a long long time since i listened to this. so i’m trying to watch him, and britney is so excited about him performing that she goes back onstage behind him and starts dancing around. the light guys put a spotlight on her, and mj is pretty much in the dark. so i think, oh no he’s going to be soooo pissed that someone stole the spotlight from him. but britney doesn’t stay long, and mj finishes the song, and there are 3 children on stage with him. he leaves the stage and goes wherever…to the special jackson waiting area, but he forgot one of the kids, a baby. apparently HIS baby, blanket. so i pick him up and i’m carrying him around trying to figure out how to get him to one of the jacksons. i’m talking to some people back stage, and they all said i had no chance of even getting near the jackson waiting area cuz they had so much security. but what else am i gonna do with this baby? so i walk back toward their waiting area, and i walk right in, there is no security anywhere. i see janet walking toward me so i tell her i have blanket cuz mj left him on stage when he left. so she takes the baby from me, and i walk back into the heart of the waiting area and all the jackson brothers are there. the walls are all decorated with their albums and gold records etc. i take a quick look and say hi and i go to leave through this sort of lobby area to their waiting area, and janet and michael are sitting on this couch and janet is holding the baby. so i say hi and go to leave and mj grabs me and pulls me toward him sorta violently. he says “you’re not going to tell anyone you were back here right? it’s not going to end up on some nine inch nails website is it?” and he’s all sinister and his eyes are sort of small and all i can think of is “yeah he totally got his eyes done, cuz now they are way bigger” – since this was a tv show i was watching of past grammy performances, i guess i had travelled back in time to be backstage during this show. mj has abnormally hairy arms. so i tell him that i promise i wont tell anyone, and he let me go and i left.

wtf.

i am not goth because i dislike the majority of “goth” music, cuz it came from punk and i really hate punk music.

in other news. i had wonderful trent dreams last night. one of them, i was at a show, and it seems like it was in a school gym cuz the seats were all bleachers. so i’m sitting in the bleachers waiting for the show, and ppl are wandering around, so i go wander too. i’m talking to someone when pinion starts, so i just take off, and instead of going back to my seat with all my friends i run to the front of the stage. and the stage is like a school gym stage, there is no barrier, so we are pressed up against the front of the stage. there are only a few of us up there tho, everyone else is still on the bleachers. ok whatever, the band starts playing and i’m the only one rockin out. everyone in the bleachers is just sitting there. slowly everyone else leaves and sits down, and now i’m the only one up front. and it’s like, wow how disrepectful. a few times i try to be cheerleader and get the people to stand up and do something, but they won’t, so i just give up and watch the show. trent realizes that i’m the only one there, and he recognizes me from other shows so he finishes a song and just starts talking to me. there are a few other people with me now, so he asks us what we want him to play next. i said deep. he ends up playing a new song for us, and suddenly the show is like…just for us. for some reason we end up on stage with him, and suddenly me and him are like really good friends, and i get alot of hugs from him. something happens to piss trent off and he leaves and goes back stage to one of the classroom/dressing rooms. so i follow him so i can go comfort him about whatever he’s mad about, and there are a few other people hanging around. and our “relationship” is weird because we don’t really have to talk to eachother to know what’s going on. i find him on a computer on AIM and his screenname is just TR hahah. i rubbed his shoulders to make him feel better, and a few other people came in. one girl had this shirt on – it was actually pretty ugly – but it was apparently a shirt we are all gonna get at the spiral show in cabazon on the 31st haha. i kept trying to get all these people to leave because trent was tired and we needed to take a nap on the couch in the room.

i can’t really remember the other ones, except for something about trent giving me casino chips that were specially made for me with my name on it, and it was really cute. he started smiling cuz he was so proud of himself cuz he did it hahah.