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dream. i was somewhere, and i was leaving whatever this place was on a scooter type vehicle. me and ang from high school were waiting in the driveway for a train to go by. it was going really fast which was sort of weird. then suddenly a fire extinguisher rolls onto the road right next to the tracks. i had this thought that it was going to get caught under the train or on something and explode. so i start backing my scooter up this hill away from the tracks. she starts to do the same but then stops. the extinguisher does get caught by this piece of metal and we can see it denting the canister. so i back up even more, to the top of this hill waiting for the impending explosion. all these other people realize what’s going on now and they are trying to get away. finally it does explode, and it takes off the top half of the empire state building. everyone is running away and freaking out and i decide to go to the airport because it was safe there. there were all kinds of planes almost crashing, and flying weird, and all this stuff. so i was like wtf is going on. i kept trying to get a hold of ang, but apparently she went somewhere else, or died in the explosion. i was in this shelter area where my parents could come find me, and when i looked out the window i could see the exploded top half of the empire state building, all decayed and pretty. so i wanted to take pics of it. i could frame my pic so that i got the building, and the hollywood sign all in the same shot. i was excited.

could i have had anymore of a stress dream? throw trent into there and it would be the stress dream to end all stress dreams.

if only i felt stressed about anything…hmm.

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dream: something about being at my aunts house and an earth quake, but it turns out it was just this train going by really fast and really loudly. i was walking the tracks over a bridge along with the train and it was really scary cuz there was not alot of room for me to walk. and i got nervous that the train was going too fast and would derail, so i kept trying to find where the manual air brake cord was so i could pull it incase something was going to happen. it was a really long train and it finally ended and i was able to cross the tracks back to my house where now a party was going on full force. but i was holed up in my room cuz i didn’t want to go, and i was in my pjs and hadn’t showered. suddenly all these people came in my room cuz there was no more room left in the house, and i was supposed to call mary but i couldn’t get through. i had a big alcohol stash in my room too. then it turned into an apartment building, and gregg from work lived across the hall, and he had all his toys out in the hallway…little army men and little plastic babies and dolls and weird stuff. my apartment was just one huge room and there were all kinds of artists in there. i went and took some of gregg’s toys to make some art project with and he got mad at me. but i invited him over and my apartment was like one big Warholian Factory and i was so excited hahaha

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dream – i was under court martial (tho i’m not sure what that is, or if its what i dreamed), and going trial and being threatened to be dishonorably discharged from the army for my musical tastes. the official reason was my “ego”. i had offended some people with my musical tastes and by ripping on theirs. but the real reason was because the army was doing a cover up about what happened a few days earlier. i was some sort of spy, and i was johnny depp haha. i had to go with some woman to meet with some other people, i don’t know why. i was undercover with an assumed name, and was instructed not to talk much, to let her do all the talking. so we go to this office and they had gotten my fake name and looked up my past, and it turns out that they knew the family which i was assuming to be a part of. so they started asking me questions about the family that i couldn’t answer, and they figured out i wasn’t who i said i was, and i ran away and they came after me. this was all the army’s fault for not properly preparing me for my mission. they were covering all that up and painting me to be some egotistical musical maniac, and trying to get me discharged so i couldn’t talk. but my lawyer figured it all out and was going to make everything all right. hahaha

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seems like salvation…

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trent dream. i was back in highschool and adr2 went to the same school with me, but we were the same age as we are now. i guess it was the beginning of the year, or at least a change in what classes you took. i was in an english class and trent was the teacher. everyone knew who he was and that he was from nine inch nails, but he had returned to the thing he loved most of all, teaching. so of course i’m sorta freaking out and i can’t say like one word in the class or to him. days go on like this with me being pretty much retardedly frozen. one day he started talking about his “cause”, which was grain elevators. he was really interested in saving the grain elevators in buffalo and figuring out what could be done with them and stuff. now here was a perfect time for me to finally say something, but i still couldn’t. i had such a crush on him i just couldn’t speak. i even tried to dillydally after class picking up my books hoping he’d say something to me so i could bring up the grain elevators and my photography. but someone else was talking to him. lunch followed my english class so i got my lunch and went to the cafeteria. adr2 was there so we ate lunch and we were like..the only freaks in the whole school. so we sat by ourselves every day. well this day trent decided to sit with us, cuz he would fit in with us. and he showed up just as i was telling adr2 how much of crush i had on him and how the class drives me crazy haha. i saw him and i was like SHUT UP real loud haha. so he sat down and i’m all nervous but i finally was able to tell him that i really love the grain elevators and i’ve taken alot of pictures of them, and if he needed any help with his work to let me know. and he said he already knew about my photography. and i just about died.

i think there was more but i don’t remember. oh yeah. there was another class day, when he started talking about this project he was going to run to try to get everyone to vote some certain person into political office. when the school found out he was doing all this political stuff they threatened to fire him, basing their decision on the fact he was a rock star and that he was poisioning our minds.

hahaha

the lump is still there, but i think it’s smaller. still hurts.

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dream

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i think i had a night terror last night. was having this dream about going to some abandoned buildings near the marine star, but that don’t really exist. and in the dream i wasn’t sure they existed either. but i had a memory of going and hanging out in them with people all the time. they were like the baggage building, just 4 story office building like. so i went down to where they were supposed to be with a few people, and they were there, but very very hidden in tall grass. then there was this feeling of someone coming up behind us, this feeling of dread and impending death. so i tried to wake myself up. i opened my eyes, and i could see that i was in my room and i could see the window. but i was still asleep. i was trying to move my arms to smack myself in the face to wake up and i couldn’t move them, i was paralyzed. but since i was still asleep i was then dreaming that i was able to move them if i concentrated real hard, but they still weren’t moving. tried to move my legs and i couldn’t. totally scary. finally i was able to wake myself up. then i couldn’t go back to sleep for like an hour, i was too scared.

but then i had a dream i was at another u2 show with lei i think, and we were outside the circle against the rail on adam’s side. they did some slower new song, then the band members all come down into the audience. so adam comes down to the corner where the rails meet, and no one is standing there. so we’re like ok we’ll go talk to adam. cuz they come down to just chill with people. or i guess just adam came down, cuz then the band was playing again, but he was still there. so i had nothing to say to him really, but then he asked if he could ask us a question. so we were like sure, and he asked us if we thought the previous slow song was a bad idea for the show. lei said she liked it, but kinda was eh about it. so i was honest and i was like, no it’s not a good move in the setlist, it’s too slow and boring and it kills all the engery. and adam agreed with me and said he tried to tell the rest of the band that, but they wouldn’t listen to him cuz he was just a rock star. lol then they started some song from zooropa and i was like YES A SONG FROM A GOOD ALBUM! ha

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dreams

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ha had a dream about going to a jordan knight concert again. and everyone in the audience ended up laying on the floor to watch. then a dream i was faking being like 14 years old so i could go on a class field trip to paris. once we got permission to go we had to book our own flights, and it ended up that i was staying 3 days longer than the rest of the class. so i was like omg i’m gonna be alone in paris for 3 days. what am i gonna do cuz i so totally only know “ou est la boeff?” in french. but then i figured out all these neat places to check out that we wouldn’t be going to as a class so it was ok.

i think i may have discovered why my headaches have been so bad every single day again. dr has me taking more iron than i used to, and head pain is listed as a rare but severe side effect of taking iron. so going back to 1 a day. here’s hoping.

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dreamed i had a wonderful boyfriend and it was depp as willy wonka. hahah

i finally finished the Fellowship of the Ring. and i still think it was kinda boring. i spent half the book waiting for the story to begin, then i realized oh this IS the story. i don’t have all that much interest in reading the other 2 books, though i probably will once i get through the pile i have now to read. i am currently reading howard zinn’s A People’s History of the United States. it tells the “other side” of major historical events, most often from the perspective of the victim. the first few chapters are on columbus and the colonies’ treatment of indians, the slave trade, and we are now on…i forgot. but so far it’s good. but i’m a dork like that. i’m in a “brain turning to mush so i must read educational books” phase.

i’m tired of being so tired and always having a headache.

i have motivation to clean my house cuz i made plans for a bunch of people from work to come over on thursday for game night. how dorky are we. it’s supposed to be mahjong night, but since none of us (me, tony, phil, pat) really know how to play, it’ll probably turn into some other kind of game night. pat has tony’s mahjong book right now to learn to play, i have no clue at all hahah. cuz it’s not like mahjong on the computer lol

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this time, dreamed about u2. they were still on tour and they were doing this thing where the first 10 or so fans got to sit on the stage during the show. so of course that caused more riots than now it is now haha. but i went to a show and i got to sit on stage. it was really just sitting on the side of the stage and it sorta sucked cuz you couldn’t really see them. just hear it. i went to a 2nd show, got onstage again, but this time we got to actually sit on stage where people could see you. so i’m sitting in the middle of the stage near edge, who was on adam’s normal side though. edge was playing a steel drum that was made out of plastic and lit up each time he hit it. they finished that song, which apparently was from pop, and the crowd started chanting more pop more pop more pop. the show went on, and there was one song, where 2 other girls came and were sitting by me. bono came over and the 2 girls stood up and were all over bono and dancing with him. and i didn’t want to make an ass out of myself, so i scootched over and was like, i’m just gonna sit here and chill with edge, who was also now sitting on the stage. so i did, and he was all happy cuz he finally got a girl instead of bono. so he’s all cuddly with me and totally feels me up hahahah. then bono comes over to “fight for me” with edge, but he sorta looks like mick jagger close up, and i’m like wow bono you got so unattractive with age. i guess the show ends shortly after that, and i’m leaving and run into eric and i tell him how fun it is to be on stage for a show, and he’s like yeah duh. and there was this other girl there who had been on stage too, it was her 15th show, and she was all bragging. and then u2 was apparently playing jamestown the next day lol.

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wicked dream about trent last night. me and trent were together, engaged or married i’m not sure. but we owned the terminal and lived there. but it was built on a lake. so the floor of the concourse was the frozen surface of the lake. and we owned a grocery store in the concourse LOL. there was a big whole part of us just living and normal life. then i was somewhere with someone and i noticed 3 old ladies rappelling from the ceiling into the lake through a hole in the ice. i was like wtf is this? first couldn’t believe they were 80 year old ladies, second that they were rapelling into a frozen lake and not immediately dying. then 4 more young kids were rappelling from the ceiling. well it wasn’t really rappelling, they had their ropes, but then they were swinging on them and trying to reach the ropes of the old ladies, which turned sorta into trapeeze lines, with the bar to hold on to. so i thought, hm…i better go find trent and see if he approved people doing this. he was working in the grocery store so i went in to find him, and jenn was a cashier and told me he was in back. so i go looking all around the stock areas and can’t find him. so i’m walking back up front and he appears. he said he was in the office doing schedules. and he was so happy. we went out to the concourse to see the rappelling people and the old women were doing it again. they reached the water and then weren’t getting out. you could just see their grey hair on top of the water. but they weren’t dead or drowning. that was just normal i guess. so trent and i decided to go somewhere so we went to the parking garage, which wasn’t underground like in real life. he was just so happy to be with me, and was so nice. we went to his car, a black porche, and were talking about something, and he said he’d buy me a new car, and he was all cute and smily.

and there was something about me with a baby. i think i was taking care of megan for jenn while she went on vacation or something. i don’t think that was a part of the trent dream.

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dreamed i went back to carbosil in the snow, to see what it looked like with 6/7 inches of snow. walked around for a while, noticed a few things added that weren’t there last time like a cot, some wheel chairs, a clothes line, but no other footprints besides mine. i was leaving, and a cop was walking towards me. it was a girl cop. but i still thought damn, i’m so screwed now. so i walked toward her, and she said that her and her partner just needed to take some blood from me because they were doing a study on how much toxic chemicals and stuff people like me inhale when we go into these places. so i went with her to a building near by and they took my blood and that was about it.

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