My first Trent dream: A little background is needed, because there is a small reason for having this dream. I have a friend who is very into drugs. She is a heroin addict, was recovered at the time (in her opinion anyway). I had gone home from college for the weekend, and gone to her house because we were going to do something, or go out somewhere. We were deciding what to do, and another friend called, inviting her to go do ecstasy with her. I was invited as well, but I don’t do drugs, and I didn’t wanna sit there with them while they waited for the dealer, like I had done a different time. She said she hoped I wasn’t mad that she was ditching me…no I wasn’t mad at all (sarcasm). I was quite upset about it, since I was only at home for 4 days, and she could do drugs anytime. This is the event that prompted the dream.
In the dream, my neighbors on the curve of my street were having a block party get together thing. It was in a warehouse, so I went there with my shopping cart full of food. Lisa (druggy friend, not her real name) and other people from our work were there, it had turned into a work picnic/party. I sat down with people, and we were talking. It was going to be my birthday soon, and I was going to have a party. I didn’t want to say whether or not there was going to be alcohol there or not, because I knew if there wasn’t, Lisa wouldn’t come. She kept asking me, and I said I didn’t want to say. She came right out and said, “well if you don’t tell me, I’m not going to come.” I got really pissed off, but to make it worse she was sitting with Bruce Willis, and they started talking shit about me. I was getting more and more pissed, and ended up storming out of the warehouse, and into my high school. I was wandering around my high school, wanting to cry, but not in front of anyone. So I kept going into the bathrooms so I could cry, but they were either being worked on by maintenance plumber people, or had tons of people in them. Then someone I supposedly knew came up to me and said, “We have to find Trent, he’s the only one who can help you. He’s the only one who can understand how you feel.” I fought him, I didn’t want to find Trent. He kept telling me over and over as we walked around the school looking for Trent, “He’s the only one who can help, he’s the only one who understands.” That line was continuous through the end of the dream, which is why I think it made such an impression on me in the morning. So we continued throughout the school, I continued to fight him, and he continued to repeat that line to me. Eventually we found Trent. He was sitting in a restaurant in the basement of my high school, in a corner booth, reading the newspaper and eating fruit. I didn’t want to talk to him, but this friend dragged me inside, continuing to repeat that line as I fought him. Trent noticed we were there right when we stepped in front of his table. He looked up at me and folded his newspaper. He was very shy, like he didn’t know what to do because I didn’t want to talk to him. That was it. It ended.
February 10, 2001 – I was at home and Trent Reznor was doing a concert in my driveway. There was no stage, no band, just him. I was the only one there and was sitting inside a car parked in my drive way watching him. He was going all out like a typical show. I was sitting there watching him, and it was amazing, but I kept wondering how he could go all out when there was no one watching. I guess he didn’t realize I was there either. I didn’t think I’d be able to get all hyped up and stuff if I was just alone practicing. So he kept performing in my drive way, and I was wondering what people driving by thought of seeing a guy going crazy in my drive way. So then he started doing the Tapeworm song “Vacant” that A Perfect Circle has done live. It was different, harder than APC’s version. Then he started to cry, and sat down on the cement crying. I got out of the car and walked over to him and hugged him. He held onto me and just cried into my shoulder.
March 2001 – this dream, trent reznor was sleeping in danielle’s loft above my bed instead of her. “the fragile” (the song) was playing, and suddenly I realize who he was talking about in the song, and totally understood where he was coming from, all this stuff. so I get up and stand on the bed and I’m looking at him, and I think I was crying because I understood his sadness or something. So I’m standing on my bed, looking at him sleeping in the loft and I just touched his face, to like, let him knew I understood.
june 28, 2001 – I was dating Trent Reznor. he lived in my town (hah right) and i was still in high school. he was significantly older than me, maybe 10 years, in the dream (hes 15 years older in real life). Apparantly my parents didn’t care that i spent my nights at his house, which was a few streets away on Remington. So at night I’d go over to his place and spend the night there. He was always really nice to me and stuff. Then for some reason we decided we wanted to be cocaine addicts. So we caleld up some guy who was a dealer to come bring us some cocaine. Well the guy showed up and we were in the street and i had cup full of liquid cocaine, and I asked the guy if he wanted to try some. Then Trent was like, what the hell are you doing, we’re in the middle of the street. So I was like oops, and we all went inside. So the guy gave us the cocaine and left. So then me and Trent were coke addicts, and whenever he got high he was a real big asshole to me. I didn’t want us to be coke addicts anymore because I didn’t like when Trent was a jerk.
March 18, 2002 – i was with some friends in some room. it was me, eric, danielle, mary, a few others, and trent reznor. we were all sitting in an informal circle, and throwing a ball around to eachother. i guess we were playing a game, you had to catch the ball, but ppl were dropping it all the time. then there was a rule you could drop it 14 times, and then you were out. the whole time i kept trying to do stuff that would make trent pay attention to me, or get closer to him. he wasn’t ignoring me, but wasn’t really paying attention either. it was really hot in there, so i went and layed on the floor by the open back door. it was right near the chair he was sitting in. then danielle was showing everyone some bio project she did. trent was flipping through the pages, so i went over to him and looked at it with him. it was about some bacterial parasite kind of thing. and then he was touching me, and i was like what’s going on. and he had this smirk on his face. i guess he was pretending he was putting the bacteria on me. so then we sorta started fake fighting, but it was all flirty. then we were in the mall and he was chasing me. we weren’t running, but i was ahead of him and kept looking back at him, and he was all smiling. i kept thinking it was like the video with david bowie, when trent was chasing him. so then he caught up to me, and said something about how he was really into me, even tho it didn’t seem like it, and that we should get married.
somewhere else in this dream we were all talking about poetry, and some people were reading theirs. i wanted trent to read some of his but he didnt. and then he said something about how his poetry isn’t like everyone elses.
April 26, 2002 – something about a song from phantom of the opera playing, and not realizing what it was until danielle said “oh it’s from phantom”….then a whole bunch about trent reznor, including a new tv interview with him and he was smoking. so i thought, hmm that’s weird i’ve never heard anything about him being a smoker before, but whatever, i can deal with it.
June 26, 2002 – i had gotten the new nin record, which was sort of a covers album/tapeworm preview. it had a bunch of covers that i didn’t know, and 2 tapeworm songs. so eric came over and i was playing the tapeworm tracks for him. then we watched an interview on tv with trent and danny lohner, i guess about tapeworm. danny was doing all the talking, and trent seemed wasted out of his mind on something. trent had blue eyeshadow and red/purple eyeliner on, and blue eyeshadow over his top lip. he started rambling about something but danny made him shut up.
then i was in the yard of this really old rundown house in what seemed to be an area like the garden district of new orleans. there was a tour going by, but it was totally weird. the guide was an old woman, who went inside the house and told one of the men in the tour – a fat business man – to climb up the ladder and go through the window to find her. so he did, and when he got to the top of the ladder the entire thing broke and he fell to the ground. then i realized i was on the set of the new nin video. the theme was a haunted house of sorts. the entire house was falling apart, which was part of the video. i was in the video. i had to go upstairs to where the band was, trying not to make the house fall apart. the story was about a little girl who died and posessed the house. what i had to do was lay on this folding table, as the girl all grown up, but still dead. then people in nin were coming up to me and putting things on me, almost like a funeral. trent came and put a bible against my arm. danny lohner put something else on me. john landis was directing the video. there was something with this rocking chair with candles on it, and simulated lightning to make everything all spooky. well i guess the shoot finished, cuz i could get up from the table. a grand piano appeared, and i freaked out. i was like trent please you have to play something for me, you have to. and i was being all hyper and semi-annoying. he refused to play anything. he said something that i forget now, but it was like, he wasn’t sure how legitmate i was (it so wasnt legitimate that he said, totally can’t remember tho). i replied that i thought i was pretty legitimate. so i went over to where he was, he was cleaning and rotating the wine and alcohol that was being stored in a wine rack against the wall. he was wearing black pants and a purple dress shirt. he was like, take that scalpal over there and throw it, how it lands maybe i’ll play. i said i wouldn’t do it, because the last time i threw a scalpal it landed in my foot. so he was like, is it better now? and i said yeah, it had been 7th grade, it had all healed. then i remember that the same time i did that, i had sliced my hand open too. he asked if that was better too, but i didn’t hear him, so he said it again. so i said yeah, it was all better to, no scars even. then he handed me a big glass of alcohol as he walked away from me. it was cognac. so i was like, what is this, is it going to taste bad, cuz i’ve never had it before. he was going towards the piano. i was really being hyper and not myself, but he seemed not to be annoyed with it anymore but sort of charmed.
carolyn was staying with me because my parents had gone away. trent came over too. he still didn’t really know how to take me and how i acted with him, but he was warming to me. carolyn and i were talking about different kinds of hair products to use and how if i could try them all for free, i’d buy something if it ended up working. (i think there was more here that i don’t remember now) then carolyn was actually danielle, and one morning when we had got up, and i went downstairs to see where they were. they were sitting on the deck together holding hands. but when danielle saw me, she stopped and hoped i hadn’t seen. but i had, and i was pissed as hell, because obviously she knew how much i liked trent and everyone always liked her. so i was like, i’m going to fucking kill her. we all got up to go wherever it was we were going to go to. trent started talking to me about how he couldn’t wait to go back to new orleans in the winter. i guess he had a summer home up north, and stayed down there during the winter. i had a gun, and i was going to shoot danielle in the back. we got into trent’s car, which was a rusted turquoise cavalier. i was like um, where’s the porche? i figured he left that in new orleans. we left, and were driving someplace. i never killed danielle. we were talking about getting special access to concerts, backstage and stuff, if you were a member of some group. trent was a member, so he could do all that. so i was like, well then now you can get me in. i was going to say “since we’re friends now” but i still wasn’t sure how we stood, so i didn’t. he was sorta wishy washy about it, and was like well i’m not sure i can. but i can recommend you join the group. i guess it was invite only. so he was going to do that for me.
carolyn was visiting, because my parents had gone away. we were in my room, which was a mess. full of pieces of crap i had bought because trent had seemed to show an interest in them. we were waiting for trent to finish getting ready. he was in the bathroom curling his hair with a curling iron. then my cat came in, but she had turned into a hamster and was freaking out. so we were trying to catch her, and put her in a cage til she stopped freaking out. but she’d escape from the cage, and freak out more. then she turned back into a cat. trent was finally done in the bathroom.
i was going to see trent someplace. i had to go through canada to get to wherever he was. it was snowing, but it was a wet slushy snow. traffic was slow going, because you had to clear your own way with a shovel. so people were mostly just walking, not driving. trent called me on my cellphone to see how i was doing, and i told him the situation. that it was ok, just slow, but if it got any colder the snow would turn to ice and then it’d be dangerous to keep going. it was warm though, because i had a no sleeve shirt on as i was shoveling. i told him that the snow was disgusting because it was green. then this tv reporter showed up to do a story on the weather, and was helping shovel…..then danielle and i had gone to visit trent in new orleans. he picked us up from the street car stop, and we were walking back to his house. i was walking in front of the two of them, slightly annoyed remembering the past when i had caught them holding hands. then danielle started singing nelly furtado’s “Fly like a bird” and i was like omg stop! but then trent came up and walked with me, and took my hand. i guess we were a couple. he said “i love you honey” and i was a bit shocked, but told him that i loved him.
June 16, 2002 – i was in a mall with the people i went to new orleans with. our hotel room was in the mall. i had taken a shower, and so i was wet and had no makeup on, but i was hungry so i went with some old man to get a bagel from one of the food court stores. we walked to the bagel place and there was a big line. so we were standing in line, and people were making a big fuss up front because trent reznor was there. so i was like OMG i finally see trent in new orleans and i look like shit. so i was just staring at him, and the person i was with was telling me to talk to him. but i was like, no i can’t, i look terrible. so i just watched trent walk by with some old man he was with. and trent looked so cute, his hair was kinda short, and he looked really young. and he had eyeliner on, so his eyes were really dark. so then i was like, i’m not leaving new orleans til i get to talk to him, if i have to hang out in front of his house all day long, he has to leave to get dinner sometime. (figuring that he’d have to go back to the food court for more food).
July 3, 2002 – it was valentines day, and my boyfriend was coming over to take me out. it was trent. i guess it was prom too, and we were teenagers. so we went to prom, which was outdoors someplace. he wanted to go walk in the woods, but i didn’t want to. so instead we went over to this higher part to look down upon the forest. the forest was all creepy because it was covered in fog. because it was all creepy we decided to go walk in the forest anyway. then it turned into me being at a mall with carolyn and other friends, and we went to the lower level. then i realized that the mall had been built over where the forest was. so i was really sad, because i had gone there to reminise about the good old days and it had been paved over, and a mall was built. there was a casino in the mall too, which had been built on some other important thing of my past.