covid-19 etc

It’s been over a year since I last posted, and that was a dream. And before that it was books I read. As I’ve aged, I just have nothing to say here. And with facebook (and other social media that I don’t use like twitter) there isn’t so much need for personal blogs. You just put your single quick thought on another platform for everyone to like and comment on, because you know you have an “audience”. My attempt to return here to do the same never happened. But my hatred runs high for facebook right now, and while I haven’t been able to cut the cord, maybe I’ll end up back here in the end.

Anyway. I/we have been out of work for 4 (or is it 5?) weeks now due to non essential businesses being shut down for the covid-19 virus. I thought it would be a good time to come back and write here, about my “quarantine” experience, but like I already said, I don’t have anything to say. Initially our shut down was set for 2 weeks. Then 3, and now indefinite. When there was an initial report that we’d be shut til April 20 I had a moment where I thought WTF am I going to do for a month? I’m gonna need to go get a job at walmart for something to do. But the 20th is 2 days away and it looks like NY is shut down at least until May 14th now…another month. And…I am not sad. Or bored.

Previously, when I forgot I had scheduled vacations with no plans, and I just sat home for 9 days with nothing to do, it was a struggle. But honestly, I am not having many issues here. I have crafts to work on, books to read, tv to watch. I have fallen into a routine where I don’t turn the TV on until around dinner, or even after, and I read in the afternoon. Night time brings tv, crafts, movies (watching all the Marvel movies in chronological order). There is no where to go except the grocery store, so we’ve gone in the car to drive around and play pokemon/wizards unite. When the weather was getting nicer (before this week where it decided to snow every day!) I was going for walks, looking forward to being in the garden. I haven’t been “forced” to go to bars, and listen to shit music I can’t stand, and be social with people I don’t like. And of course, I haven’t had to go to work. I keep saying, that I am living my best introvert life right now.

This week wasn’t particularly great though. I’ve been on these new injectibles for migraine treatment for about a year, and I’d say they’ve been more successful that previous treatments. But not this week. I’ve had this current headache for 6 days now, which hasn’t happened in a long time. And that brings annoyances and irritation. Like J’s constant coughing/throat clearing/human noises like breathing and chewing. Driving me nuts. And interactions with my mom bring me nothing by aggravation. And I know I’m being an asshole but I can’t stop. I am so annoyed by everything, and given that there is no where to escape to, there is no where to be alone. And J hit a parked car with my car. Great. Right bumper and side panel is fucked, and it should not be driven cuz there is a bad noise of something rubbing against the tire. So even if I wanted to escape in my car while he is using his (since now he has to), I can’t, until HE gets it fixed.

All this weirdness has opened up new ways to stay in touch. Not to say I haven’t stayed in touch with Eric, Adr and Mary, we have a group chat through FB, but we have used a video chat app to have drinks “together” and play online trivia, which has been fun. A few people I haven’t talked to in ages…I mean, 20+ years…have reached out, which is weird but also nice.

And since, for the most part, I am not having issues with this isolation I have started to worry that going back to “normal” life, whatever that ends up looking like, is going to stress me out.

A few things I do “miss” though…I desperately want to get my hair cut, but I can’t. And I can’t wait to be able to go to a sit down restaurant, be waited on, be served hot food (not take out!), and have dishes be taken away to be done. (I did put my foot down regarding household chores, I refuse to do any more dishes. That is J’s job now. If I’m going to be the one doing all the cooking, and cleaning, yard work and laundry I absolutely am not doing anymore dishes or putting the laundry away, and I’d rather like to not cut the grass either.)

And the internet is horrible. Facebook is horrible. It’s just full of everyone’s stupid opinions, political shit, and everyone is getting even meaner than normal. Quarantine stress? I guess but….wtf. It’s awful. It is not helping.

I guess that’s it. Maybe it won’t be a year til I have something to say again.

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