i had this major bizzaro dream that jeff martin from the tea party was like..my guardian angel, or jesus. and that he saved me and took care of me cuz i was sick, or something. i don’t really remember it, excpet that he saved me.

i work at 3 today.

in the 80s michael jackson recorded songs with Freddie Mercury that were never released. Freddie talked about them on some interview i had on tape. they are on the internet! love the internet. ty sent them to me last night. one is untitled, and it’s MJ singing (really nicely i might add) and Freddie is playing piano. you can hear Freddie say something a few times in the background, but he doesn’t sing. the other is a version of “State of Shock” which was released on the Jacksons Victory album, but with Mick Jagger singing with MJ, not Freddie. so that was interesting to hear. i wonder if there are anymore. it’s too bad they never released anything together. i still think MJ could do an amazing job covering a few Queen songs – “show must go on”, “play the game”….


work. long. lol. hmm what happened. well…
1. once jack and nick left, it was me and the girls. 2 hungarian boys who are working at cedar point this summer, were visiting with an american guy and an older woman (his mom?) and they fell in love with the 3 of us girls. hehe. they wrote us notes while they were eating and had servers deliver them to us. we took pictures with them and stuff. it was funny. the one hungarian guy was like, do you know where hungary is? i’m like yeah, he was like REALLY?! surprised as hell that i knew where it was hahaha. they said they’d get us into cedar point for free if we wanted to go etc etc etc. hahah.
2. these 2 little girls came in with their mothers, and asked if mike was working. they had a crush on him and wanted to know if he was there. he wasn’t. so the girls were pouting. they asked if he worked tomorrow, and he did, so the girls were begging their mothers to stay one more day so they could see him. they drew him notes on the menus for when he comes in tomorrow, and wrote I love mike, all over the place. hahaha. cute.
3. and now for a password post. reminder: if you don’t ask me for the log in info, i won’t automatically tell you.

work 5 – close tomorrow.

what the hell is wrong with michael jackson (ok, don’t answer that)…apparently he’s not performing on the grammy’s tomorrow. after that whole big deal with the AMA’s vs Grammy’s and people not being allowed to perform on both etc…he was supposed to perform on video tape on the AMA’s but right before the show, he pulled out. and the whole time it was said he’d be on the grammy’s, but they are tomorrow and there are no plans for him to be there or perform. so wtf…he started out this whole Invincible promo campaign way better than past albums – with the record signing at Virgin, and TRL…the surprise MTV award performance with nsync….and DUH…you really should be performing on the Grammy’s….and what about the single releases. he royally fucked up with the singles on HIStory, releasing They don’t care about us a full year after you are not alone…that was a huge mistake. and i thought invinicble was going good in that sense, cuz he did you rock my world, and immediately released butterflies…but did he release butterflies? i know it hit radio, but i thought there was supposed to be a cd single release in the US but i haven’t seen it anywhere…so wtf is going on? and now the release of unbreakable was supposed to be april 8th (far too long in my opinion) but it’s been pushed back with no info on when it’ll be released. and i thought cry was supposed to be released, especially after the whole sept 11th thing…he should have learned from his past, that it’s a good idea to overlap singles…did he not learn anything from Thriller?! hello….billie jean was released when beat it was #1 on the charts (or vice versa, i forget)….god he needs a new manager…like me.

meanwhile i’m getting sick. my left tonsil feels all swollen during the day. and my stomach is all weird. i just feel like, sick, and weak. i hope it’s just test anxiety even tho i could really give a shit. but i hope it is so that it’ll go away when i’m done with this test. i hope i’m not getting the flu..i guess it’s been going around. mike was sick this weekend, and my stomach hurt fri and sat nights. BLAH. don’t wanna be sick! i managed to avoid it thus far….arg. stupid people always sitting around me in class hacking up a lung.

so back to studying. got another hour before the exam to cram shit into my head.

i’m getting to the end of this mj tape, and i guess this is some ABC special about the brit awards 96…but its like 4 david bowie performances LOL. i love bowie. he rocks. he’s singing “under pressure”… which now always makes me think of the NIN closure video…when nin is sitting around with bowie, and david is talking about how they did under pressure and people were like “he’s covering vanilla ice” HAHAH


i just remembered. while watching popmart i realized i don’t know any of the words to discotheque LOL. and i was reminded of this just now by watching MJ’s 88 grammy performance of the way you make me feel, and i remembered that i recently realized he says “paint the town” not “hit the town” lol

yeah 88 grammys is mjs worst lipsynching job ever… its SOOOO bad. but 88 grammys is one of his best tv performances ever (besides motown 25) and probably one of the best grammy performances of anyone ever…it’s the end of the performance when he starts singing (and they forget to turn the mic on), that is just like, mind blowing…mj needs to be mind blowing again…. “and no massage couldda been any clearer” hahah

whatever happened to billy crystal??

you’re a whole new generation and pepsi’s coming through, schmon i’m bad, i’m bad, and pepsi’s cool you know it you know. and the whole world has to answer right now just to tell you the pepsi way, it’s cool.

mjs bad tour outfits were so rad.. i want his buckle pants.


so i’m continuing on with my video tape watching now that i’m not dying. finished watching MJ around the world (finally, i think i’ve attempted to watch it 3 or 4 times now)…it’s so great. mj was so great in the bad era. i wanna go to a Bad tour concert!!! he had a good face, and he sang, and he had energy and was happy!…and now he’s singing on the Sammy Davis Jr tribute thing from years ago, 88 or something. It was so great. MJ neck hehe….Nothing like that Liz Taylor tribute CRAP. lol. he was soooo good back in the day. i think i have the sammy davis thing on another tape too cuz i had seen it before, and i know i’ve never watched this tape before. i lost the paper that went with it telling me what the hell all these clips were, but…that is long gone somewhere. now it’s a really old episode of entertainment tonight about the Victory tour…84 then..


well i guess today wasn’t a total loss. worst headache i’ve had in a while….felt like puking all day long. i haven’t had a migrane like that since i was a kid. slept for 2 hrs in the afternoon cuz it got too bad…got up, didn’t completely go away, but had gross pizza, went on comp. came back again. went back to bed….

but then it went away for a bit – of course not completely, but enough that i could function – and i accomplished another web feat. i now run a forum off my own host, instead of a free one with banner ads. it works..not completely, but it works. can’t figure out how to post images, even tho i’m doing what it says….arg. just gives me a gay ass stupid text code thing instead of a pic showing up like it’s supposed to. so…i guess i have to wait til someone responds on the discus support forum. which i hope is soon.

old MTV video tapes

today is gonna be mj video day. lol.

i think mtv should bring back 12 angry viewers and let me be on it… and ooooh this is the super great Manson as President of the USA closing performance!!! this was great. god manson is so funny. i love how the audience is just …..staring. hahahah…. they’re all like, what…the fuck…is this. lol.

so janet jackson is presenting mark romanek with the video vanguard award for like best director….they’re doing a lil montage of his vids…every great vid, he’s done. LOL…he is really so good. and he made trent lick a microphone LOL.

what do you know… i have the NIN perfect drug video on tape too LOL….how lovely. trennnnnnt!!!
yeah now i’m on mtv awards 97…this must be a preshow thing. this video rocks, trent is so evil looking…ok more so than normal haha.and this song rocks too. hahah 3 days til nin dvd!!! is absynth (sp?) really bright green? haha my watching trent play piano fantasy still remains hehe.

oh this show is “and the nominees are…” hosted by hanson LOL. i think this 97 mtv awards was the one hosted by chris rock…and i think u2 might have been on it…maybe they were on 98…i have a mp3 of their performance tho. hah. lol a commercial to buy u2’s pop album at bestbuy – oh and they said “Buy mtv award performer u2’s pop”….yay.

and now is the preshow…tabitha soren, i hate her. she’s a bitch. premier of janet’s “got til it’s gone” video…ew interview with mariah after her divorce….when she turned into mega slut. lol spice girls. they’re so funny. even tho i hate kurt loder, sometimes his deadpan comments are just hysterical. like, scary spice said their movie is out on boxing day and he’s like “yeah boxing day is a big holday here too” HAHAHA talking to janet….shes fat in this interview…her arms are like huge.

ok on to the show….yup chris rock. spoofing the “beautiful people” haha WOO HOO this is the u2 one…hah. ok why did i tape this and save it? cuz no one i liked then or like now besides u2 is on it… hah. chris rock is so funny. hes got THE most weirdest deformed hands lol. ooooh this is the whole tribute to biggie “i’ll be missin you” award show…fast forward. whatever happened to prodigy? they rocked. jewel, blah, fast forward. prodigy is performing. i remember my mom was watching it and was like, what the hell he has snot coming out of his nose all over LOL. lol the white prodigy guy just struck a jay gordon pose…of course, before jay gordon was in orgy, but whatever lol. all raver music should be as cool as prodigy. woah i think black prodigy guy has nipple rings…woo hoo. wallflowers, boring….girls rapping, a big fast forward….fiona apple, best new artist, is this her big rambling speech? haha yeah the maya angelou speech hahaha. the “this world is bullshit” speech hahahahaha she’s such a nutcase. WOO HOO u2 finally….then i can stop watching this crap….oh shit this isn’t the mp3 i have. this is the really shitty performance of please that ali reminded bono about after sept 11th HAHAHAH. how great. ok well that wasn’t shitty…bono sounded good, the band sounded good. aside from being kinda uneventful…and then chris rock said bono looked like the unabomber in his black hoodie hahaha. too funny….

haha talking about dangerous tour, the actual tour and how big it was, and the guy is like, this is the biggest outdoor show ever…haha soon to be surpassed by zootv and then popmart haha. i can’t imagine building the dangerous stage, or zootv stage….any big stage, even the elevation tour. they have the behind the scenes thing on the u2 dvd, and it’s like wow..that stage was NOTHING and it was so huge. hahah all that work for 3 hrs of use…

i soooo don’t remember this….behind the scenes stuff for “give into me”….my fav mj song. lol. slash should tour with mj, he’s not doing anything anymore lol. forget jennifer batan, big haired guitar player….go for the other big haired guitar player named slash hehe. slash rocks.

now i’m watching this tape that contains the 2 versions of “they dont care about us”, 86 and 88 grammies, and 2 mtv rockumentaries about MJ…. so i’m on rockumentary #1 which is about dangerous so like 93 or so. and the commercials are on, and i am so amused!! lol there was one for the premier of Sea Quest on NBC, the movie the Real McCoy….one to buy Janet. at Kmart LOL….MTV commercial advertising new videos “this fall” from janet jackson, mj, u2, whitney houston, nirvana, pearl jam, guns and roses… LOL. mj should do a making the video episode…that’d rock. cuz this rockumentary has all kinds of behind the scenes stuff from remember the time vid shoot – stuff that isnt on “dangerous short films” video tape…there is this one dancer in the RTT video who looks like a man. i hate her. hah.
i need some retro mj clothing…i used to have a belt. long time ago, like when i was 4. i want a vintage mj shirt.

blah the commercials were cut out of this episode of rockumentary…boooring. lol.

i think music is really amazing. this show is showing billie jean from the opening night of the dangerous tour. they show the audience and every person is clapping along to the beat…i think that is amazing. not just mj, but any artist or band. to have the ability to control a crowd like that. to have the power to have people just…i dunno. follow like that. actors can’t do that, artists in the classical sense can’t do that….only musicians, cult leaders and religious figures can…hmm.

haha i forgot, this world music awards thing is when mj started laffing about pirates. LOL he gets another award, and he’s standing on stage with hootie and the blowfish, and this old man. and the old man starts talking about how his success and the success of all the other artists on the show is a result of their music not being stolen by pirates. and mj starts laffing LOL and then the guy keeps going about music piracy and stuff and mj is trying not to laff. LOL but the way the old guy said it, it deserved a laff, cuz he’s like, your music is getting stolen by pirates LOL

so on with my video tape watching….world music awards 1996. this was an mj thing LOL. it was an earth song performance, and i believe it was post controversial messiah complex brit awards performance. yep i’m sure of it, because this is the same performance and i remember waiting to see it to make my own conclusions about the whole messiah bit at the end. mj looks so beautiful, very feminine, but…like…beautiful. bad hair tho, half mullet. or not, but like…bad. layered, woman like. LOL. but his face moved, and he looked happy.
and i realized something while watching the earth song performance. something i really don’t like about invincible is it’s lack of emotion. HIStory might have gotten slammed in the media for being self-indulgent or what not, and criticized because it was all angry and stuff. well i admire the high level of emotion on HIStory…he was truely angry, and it came out in his music. and i realized that listening to invincible – it doesn’t move me. he’s singing totally devoid of any emotion. he’s going through the words, and stuff but i don’t think he really has any emotional involvement in any of these songs – with maybe the exception of speechless but i HATE that song and never listen to it. i dunno. but that’s why i don’t like invincible. i like emotional music, personal, not personal, just emotional…there was no emotion in his tribute concert performances, not like this earth song performance had…i dunno.

jordan knight and jon b have recorded a remake of the Hall and Oats song “Sara Smile”….do you know how much i HATE that song?
thinking about it, i haven’t had anyone sing at me in a while…ha

alright, alright… mj on trl…how long was he on for, like a whole 30 seconds?!?! lol. carson seemed like in TOTAL awe, and carson keeps his cool pretty good usually.

i was really excited about the whole thing, cuz really…mj on trl?!? could you get a bigger star? i think not. so i’m really, overall, very happy he was on. everyone was really excited… and o-town was funny – they took over hosting TRL so Carson could go talk to MJ..they were so funny, cuz they were really excited to be witnessing the whole thing…

mj seemed totally clueless tho, like he didn’t know what was going on. he seemed drugged LOL. he wasn’t paying attention to carson when he was talking…i dunno. to me it’s like he’s changed SO much since HIStory…and i’m really not just talking about his face and lack of lips now….it’s like he seems SO utterly unhappy. seemed like he totally didn’t want to be there, didn’t want to talk to carson. and maybe it is cuz he can’t express emotion on his face anymore…but i dunno. it really hurts me to see him that way. god he just seems so tired of everything.

to me i get the impression that he doesn’t want to be doing this anymore…being in the public eye, etc…but then part of him is like, i’m michael jackson, this is my job, i need to be out there. but i’m kinda torn cuz like…if he’s so unhappy, and everything, then why bother? he should have just retired with HIStory, and been happy with what he has accomplished. but i know how he is, and that if he’s going to go out, he’s gonna go out with a bang….

i just get a really bad feeling from all of this, from seeing him like that… i dunno. maybe i’m making it all up in my head

mj… i love you sweetheart but…if you want to wear an athletic suit, be all cool, fine, but u need to wear different kind of shoes.. like sneakers, and the pants can’t be all tapered at the bottom… lol.

about now is the time where i insert my feelings about mj needing to die soon…but i think everyone is tired of me talking about that…so i’ll spare you.



i would not, in a million years, for anything, want to be michael jackson. i would not trade places with him to save my life. i used to think, “Yeah it’d be great to be michael jackson, even if ppl think he’s weird, and he has such a bizzare life due to everyone wanting a piece of him”…but now, no way.

i was watching the making of thriller on vh1 today during lunch. he is so incredible. he is so talented. he is just amazing. he has done so much and accomplished so many things. and i think, wow, it’d be awesome to really know what it’s like to be him, to have done everything he has done, to see things through his eyes.

yet i would not trade places with him.

if you’ve seen “The Crow” then you know The Crow had the powers to see things through the eyes of other people by touching them. He could also give them what he’s seen, and what he’s taken from others. He “sees” his wife dying in the hospital through the eyes of the police man, and then gives all of his wife’s pain to the bad guy at the end through touch. if i could do that with MJ, if i could touch him and see everything he’s seen, and all that he’s done i would, in a second. but i would never want to actually be him.

i think i’ve reevaluated my grade of invincible. yes, again. carolyn pointed out, rightly so, that neither one of us would have bought the cd if it wasn’t MJ. yup, that’s true. not really cuz it’s bad, but…i HATE POP MUSIC! lol…there are some very huge limitations in invincible, and some problems i have with it, other than the pop music thing.
1. it’s really over produced – if you listen to dangerous, which people thing is overproduced as well, dangerous looks like it’s acoustic compared to invincible. i think all of the ballads with the exception of cry, on invinicble, could be 10 times better, and perhaps even tolerable to me, if they were stripped down to vocals and a few background instruments. screw the layered vocals, the choirs, etc…i’m going to contemplate how the ballads could be improved later when i have time (aka when i’m doing neuropsych lol). even compared to HIStory, HIStory sounds so less produced than invincible.
2. this is kind of a joke, but these are all mariah carey songs LOL. – heartbreaker…butterflies…those are names of Mariah songs, not MJ songs…when i saw the tracklisting of invincible i was like, dude, mariah carey LOL. i also was like, could u have any more stupidly titled songs…and a more stupidly titled album? i’ve gotten over that tho. they make sense now lol
3. this cd was 6 years in the making. it should have been better.
4. this cd was 6 years in the making. it sounds so forced, and incomplete i think. it seems as if they were all rushed to throw some incoherent songs together. i don’t expect MJ to record a theme type album, like NIN’s the fragile, or like…pink floyd. but some coherence is good, and I don’t think invincible has it. maybe that goes back to my whole problem with the track order. alot of people have expressed dislike for the first 3 songs being all lumped together. so i’m not alone in that.

maybe that’s it. just an observation, but i think the cd booklet is completely messed up. track 1 credits Brandy with backup vocals, but i hear no woman singing in that song. yet heaven can wait has distinct female back up vocals, and no credit…it sounds like Brandy. Then the lost children has credits regarding clips from the twilight zone…but threatened has the rod serling spoken parts…i dunno, maybe i’m wrong.

ok so while i like aspects of invincible, i hate aspects of it. even if i never listen to it again after this intial period, i like it. i like it because of it’s flashes of brilliance, the fact that MJ sounds AMAZING even if i dont like what he’s singing…and i like it because it has made me pull out all of my old school mj stuff (bad, dangerous) and rediscover how fucking amazing he really is.

along the lines of the incoherence of invincible, there is a thread on the u2 msgbd about Pop…lots of people don’t like Pop, or didn’t like Pop but do now, and the critics hated it. someone said something about how all of Pops songs (or most of them) were unfinished, or at least sound that way. that never ever popped into my mind regarding that cd. but it sorta makes sense. it was like, they finished tracks 1-7, were happy with them, and then threw on a bunch of songs they didnt have time to finish at the end so they could release something. i dunno if i completely believe that, but…it could explain why i hate the rest of that cd… however i did gain a new appreciation for “if you wear that velvet dress” and “please” – i got please in my head randomly in class today….but i still can’t listen to the end of the cd.


in my constant reevaluation of invincible, here are the songs i really like:
heaven can wait
you rock my world
2000 watts
don’t walk away
whatever happens

and sometimes throw in heartbreaker and invincible. so what % is that? 9/16 – 56%….excluding those 2…including them it’s 69%…haha ok now lets procrastinate some more and figure out my % of liking of other mj albums
off the wall – 8/10 (not bad, but its sooo disco) – 80%
thriller – 8/9 – 88%… dude there are only 9 tracks on thriller?! wtf lol
bad – 100%
dangerous – 12/14 sometimes 11/14 – 86%
history disc 2 – 9/15 and i’m being generous here – 60%
blood on the dance floor doesnt count, i like 3 of the new songs, none of the remixes


amazing michael jackson songs in no particular order
– give into me – dangerous
– dangerous – dangerous
– is it scary – blood on the dance floor
– dirty diana – bad
– smooth criminal – bad
– liberian girl – bad
– man in the mirror – bad
– stranger in moscow – HIStory
– earth song – HIStory
– who is it – dangerous
– in the closet – dangerous
– human nature – thriller
– ok, fine, thriller lol – thriller
– wanna be startin something – thriller
– the entire dangerous album if you delete black or white, heal the world, and gone too soon lol…


4 words





ok i’m reevaluating my grade given to Invincible…i was thinking about it. this may just be due to the fact i no longer like pop music, however i didnt consider myself a pop music fan when i got into MJ with HIStory…but.

this is my order of how i prefer mj’s cds until now
1. dangerous
2. bad
3. history
4. thriller
5. off the wall

off the wall is only last cuz it’s so disco and dated. thriller and history have the possibility of being switched on the list. however history has more sentimental value to me than the others cuz that’s what got me into mj to begin with. ANYWAY. i’m going to do a comparison of invincible and HIStory.

even tho critics hated HIStory, i think it contains some really brilliant songs…1. stranger in moscow 2. earth song are just brilliant, beautiful songs. scream is awesome. yana is…pretty. tabloid junkie and history are funky. but stranger in moscow and earth song totally redeem the whole album. i like history. i fastforward through DS, Childhood usually, and Little Susie and Smile get skipped….but overall, yeah I like it.

now invincible. i’m on my 5th listen to the cd more or less. none of the songs strike me as being overly brilliant, which i was expecting. every MJ cd has at least one song that blows my mind
Off The Wall – “i can’t help it”
Thriller – “human nature” and “lady in my life” plus all the hits 😛
Bad – “liberian girl”
Dangerous – “give into me”, “who is it”, “in the closet”, “dangerous” – ok the whole album minus heal the world and gone too soon lol
HIStory – “stranger in moscow” & “earth song”
Blood on the Dance Floor (which i didn’t count above cuz it’s a remix EP) – “is it scary”

what is mindblowing on invincible? to me, nothing. The closest anything comes to mind blowing is cry. i like the cd. the fast songs are way cool, very funky. the ballads, most i don’t like. As I said cry is great, but it’s not up to the mind blowing caliber of SIM and ES on HIStory….it’s only partially mindblowing hah…mj SOUNDS spectacular on this cd. his voice is the best i’ve heard it in a very long time, maybe ever. it’s very clear, very good range. he tried some vocal techniques that are alot different (ie 2000 watts)…so i really like that aspect of it.

as a whole i think invinicible is very disorganized. the track listing is all wrong. it should be more like this:
1. unbreakable
2. break of dawn
3. invincible
4. don’t walk away
5. butterflies
6. you rock my world
7. speechless
8. heart breaker
9. the lost children
10. privacy
11. heaven can wait
12. cry
13. 2000 watts
14. you are my life
15. whatever happens
16. threatened
or something like that. at least some kind of innerspersing of ballads and fast tracks. because the lump of 3 fast songs with raps at the end, and then ballads for most of the rest of the album with a fast song thrown in here and there…it’s not good. i think unbreakable is a great opener, and threatened is a great closer. you rock my world is good in the middle, because it’s the first single…it’s almost a “highlight” of the disc. but its like, ballad…ooh another ballad…and another…ok fast track…ballad…ballad…ballad…

i tried not to read alot of press about the album, the interviews with rodney jerkins etc…but it seemed to me like it should have been WAY more pop-y, and dance-y…i didn’t expect all these ballads on it. jerkins kept talking about how it was like old school mj, gonna make ppl dance etc…i don’t think it achieved that goal, cuz most of the time the songs are slow…but what do i know, i hate pop music.

Michael Jackson – Invincible

what am i holding in my hand a day early?! MICHAEL JACKSON’S NEW CD!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!

this is me :-D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


running commentary on mj’s album

track 1: unbreakable – fantastic intro to the album. very “jam” like in it’s punch as a first song. Grade: A+ (upon second listen the grade went from a- to a+)

track 2: heartbreaker – um..it’s different. Grade: A

track 3: invincible – very cool. i find the first 3 tracks to be too similar though. should have put a song inbetween 2 and 3 i think. and they all have raps at the end…Grade: A-

track 4: break of dawn – ok i’m finding it slightly hard to not laugh…mj singing about making love. i can listen to his old songs about sex (ie. lady in my life) without laughing… but i dunno LOL…it’s a really nice song tho. his voice sounds really amazing. Grade: B+

track 5: heaven can wait – first 20 seconds, sounds like it is a Thriller throw back…the layered vocals…very “lady in my life” ish…in all these songs so far, you can totally tell which producers were responsible for them. this is so obviously a teddy riley song. the others were so rodney jerkins. but wow… vocals on this song amazing. definitely a better love song than break of dawn. similar to teddy’s work on Jordan Knight’s debut album…Grade: A

track 6: you rock my world – lol the intro cracks me up. chris tucker is so funny. this song just makes me really happy, maybe cuz it was the first new track i heard….it’s still weird to hear it without the KTU call out hook lol. great choice of first single, so far.. since i’m only on track 6 who knows… Grade: A, ok no A+ i really love this song LOL

track 7: butterflies – first 20 seconds, off the wall throw back… very “can’t help it” esque… like it could be the same song. vocals are different, sounds very un-mj-like….another song about sex…ok i don’t like this song. good thing MJ didn’t write it LOL. i REALLY don’t like this song….omg i almost can’t listen to it……Grade: C- sure it’s a good song, but i really hate it lol.
2nd listen…first minute i like, kinda fun. don’t like the chorus all that much. don’t like the falsetto of the 2nd verse… don’t like the bridge…this song does not belong on an MJ cd…it belongs on like, some teen pop princess cd….definitely do not like the end, this is where i want to rip my ears off. lol

track 8: speechless – omg the first 10 seconds i thought i was listening to “you are not alone”. his voice just comes in and says “your love…” and i swear he was gonna say “Another day is gone…” lol. omg it’s so totally YANA lol, i mean just that part, not the rest of it so far. i hate ballads. i think this is a religious song. vocals sound great tho. i don’t like this song either. ok yeah, totally don’t like this song either. I’m sure EVERYONE is gonna ADORE it.. cuz it’s like MJ fans theme songs regarding MJ. Grade: C-
2nd listen – still hate this song.

track 9: 2000 Watts – DEFINITELY MORE OF MY THING! is this even mj singing? doesn’t sound like him at all!! i get the impression this could be on an nsync cd for some reason…nothing in particular about it…i dunno. has the potential to be an even better song. it is VERY cool tho…Grade: A-
2nd listen – this song has the potential of having a REALLY RAD video if it was released as a single.

track 10: you are my life – the way i’m going with ballads, i’m having preconceived notions about my fondness for the song and it’s just started…ok way too sappy, but not as bad as the other 2…have i mentioned i hate ballads? i’m getting the impression this song is about his kids…i hate sappy songs….Grade: B

track 11: privacy – reminiscent of intro to “tabloid junkie”…wow like it already. mj sounding a bit evil 🙂 OH SLASH IS ON THIS SONG! er wait…no… ok, i swear he just said SLASH, and it’s a guitar solo, but he’s not in the credits as “guitar”…it says Michael Thompson..unless that’s Slash’s real name (andy informed me Slash’s name is Saul Hudson, which i knew duh.. so it’s not slash)….Grade: A

track 12: don’t walk away – GOD ANOTHER BALLAD. vocals sound great. very clear..ends really abruptly..Grade: B+

track 13: cry – r.kelly wrote this song..hmm… i like it. i liked it when i downloaded it LOL. best ballad on this album. and did i mention? i hate ballads. but i really like this song alot. on listening to it this time, i thought it was “on the line”…it sounds alot like “on the line” now that i think about it….but yeah, this is by far the best ballad on this album. yeah, this song is incredible. could totally do without the “change the world” a la “man in the mirror” bit… i hate that. lol. but god, this song is so great. jesus, i’m so blown away. omg. Grade: A+++

track 14: the lost children – just the title makes me want to puke but ok…open mind…ok no. that’s it, just no. it’s cute…but no. no. no.no. Grade: C+

track 15: whatever happens – this is the song with carlos santana…sounds cool. mjs voice sounds great. yeah like this song. Grade: A+

track 16: threatened – ok yeah this is cool. so rodney jerkins tho…this is rad. very fun. i wonder what these Rod Serling spoken parts are from. says courtesy of CBS broadcasting inc…Grade: A-

ok, finished the album. back at track 1 now. let’s see, what’s my overall grade on Invincible?!….i’m kinda torn. the 2 crap ballads in the middle really ruin the entire thing for me. like i can’t see myself listening to those songs EVER again. ok, since it seems i need to think in outline form, let’s make a list:
1. good album
2. not as good as dangerous, which is the best MJ album i think.
3. dance songs on invincible are better than dance songs on HIStory
4. i think the song order could have been different, making the whole album better. like the first 3 songs all have raps at the end.. and then u got the block of ballads in the middle…song order is really important i’ve found.
5. the middle ballads…oh god. how much do i hate them?…
6. i think the public is really going to like the album. i’m not sure how they’re gonna like those middle ballads tho. seriously.
7. i like the album. but it has the potential to grow on me tremendously. I was VERY generous with my grades of the middle ballads…because really I should give them an F but i’m trying to at least look at the music, and overall composition of them and ignore the fact that i want to rip my ears off….we’ll see how the 2nd listen goes.

overall grade as of now: A-/B+

i’m having some michael jackson issues.
1. for the first time i’m having a hard time conceptualizing that the person who made thriller is the same person who is in the media lens now. the other day me and danielle watched mj on mtv for a while, they showed billie jean and for the first time in my life/my mj fandom it occured to me that he used to be black and now he’s not. i was like woah, this is amazing, cuz it’s a black man who made a video that broke barriers etc…all the stuff he gets praised for as an 80s artist…i was just completely impressed. i just had a really strange progression of thoughts when i saw that video the other day.
2. there is something about him that makes me really uneasy lately. i mean, he really looks bad. and it’s not just the plasticness of his face and all that i joke about. there is something else, which makes me think he really doesn’t want to do any of this anymore. it’s like he’s tired. and scared. so i was reading the mj article in the bono Details magazine and there was a quote in it about his tribute concerts. “when Jackson finally pulls up in some customized black limo-cum-Popemobile (he’s wearing a silvery, sparkly blazer and, on his arm, the inevitable Liz Taylor) he doesn’t look unhealthy or even particularly odd. But his eyes have a disturbingly empty, even fearful, quality about them.”….THAT IS EXACTLY IT! that is really what is bothering me about his appearance.. not the unmovable upper lip, not the inability to express emotions – it’s that his eyes are dead. he doesn’t look like he is happy at all, it doesn’t look, even on stage, like he is having fun..and that makes me very sad.

i’m having a hard time coming to terms with my “relationship” with michael lately…i don’t know what it is. there are times when his flashes of brilliance blow me away, and then there are times where sometimes i question my sanity. he is a genuis and is incredibly talented. and i love him even if i dont like pop music, and never in my life like pop music again. there is no question he started it all, and all that. but i’m so scared for him and i don’t know why. i think he’s going to die soon – some kind of tragic-princess diana-esque kind of death. and while i will mourn in some way for the loss, i’ll also be somewhat…”happy”…because i think it’s his time to go. i’m not making sense in my own head, so i can’t imagine how this makes sense. and i also realize that no one who reads this can relate at all to what i’m saying since only a few of my friends are mj fans. and those that are dont share my feelings about mj’s death. lol. mj cant get old. big stars should not be allowed to get old. james dean is remembered as the rebel without a cause, and marilyn monroe is remembered in the white dress over the subway vent. michael jackson needs to be remembered as the musical genius in the sparkly black jacket and sequined white glove. if he gets old, and i’m talking like 60s+, he’s not going to be remembered that way. and i’m scared of that.

danielle and i went pumpkin hunting today and listened to Dangerous in the car. we discussed a future MJ tour of the US and the possibility of a Buffalo date at the arena…i got so excited at the thought of camping out in line over night/tailgating…seeing all my mj fan friends again, thinking of who all would come to Buffalo to see the show with me…just how much fun it would be. god i hope that happens.

stars that shouldn’t have aged:
1. marlon brando
2. al pachino

stars that haven’t aged in years:
1. david bowie

stars that are better now that they have aged
1. steve tyler and joe perry
2. keith richards lol

i forget the rest of the people i had in those categories.

have i mentioned recently that i want bono’s flag jacket? i want it more now than ever due to these pics of him in it in Details…it is seriously the coolest jacket ever and not just cuz it’s bono’s.



as if i could be any more in love with bono i go and read the details magazine article and i’m just omg. it was just so entirely cute. it showed he was human and caring, and even though it’s a in-print interview with some journalist, he is so charming…omg omg omg.

people say bono has a big ego, which is probably true. everyone famous has an ego…but i think part of it is the whole self mocking ego bit that i do, as well as eric and carolyn LOL….a lot of bonos ego-ness is a stage thing i think…of course i dont know him, so LOL….but there is nothing wrong with having an ego when you can also laugh about yourself, which it is so clear that bono can do and does often.

i think, as of now, if i was to meet any of my fav celebrities, i’d have the most personally embarassing reaction to meeting bono. i wouldn’t faint, i’m so not like that…but i’d probably act like a complete retard, and he’d be like, ok ur dumb, bye. hah…

why is everyone i like shorter than me…bono is 5 freaking 7…ug. trent is like 5’6″ or 5’7″….that’s so incredibly akward to be a girl meeting your fav singer and being taller than them. how are they supposed to lean down and kiss you if your taller than them?!?! LOL i guess jay gordon makes up for all the short people i like lol.

ok i need to stop. so what did i do today? me and danielle drove to avon in search of pumpkins and to go to Tops market (since we’re stuck shopping at wegmans :P)…we found pumpkins but were driving to fast to stop, so we kept going to find the Tops first. We were so excited to be going to tops YAY we’re dorks. it was the cutest little Tops ever. And they had Details magazine so it was all good. then we went back to pumpkin guy. he was nice, funny, missing teeth townie LOL…cheap pumpkins tho. Danielle got a big one for 3 bucks, i got a bit smaller one for 2…her pumpkin would have been like 7 bucks at Wegmans. so tonight is pumpkin carving night while the hockey game is on…

quote of the day: “You can’t fuck people with your head, or maybe you can…” – bono

MJ: What do you think of Prince’s brand of salacious Christianity, which says that brilliant sex lights the way to paradise?

BONO: I just believe that Prince believes the same thing I do: that God is sex as well as love.

MJ: So you feel, when you listen to a Prince album, that you guys are singing the same gospel?

BONO: I feel very close to Prince, closer than you might think.

MJ: Closer than I would think, in that he’s considered sex-crazed, while the critics regularly describe U2 as nearly sexless.

BONO: I’m deeply insulted to hear you say that, and shocked, and mesmerized. I don’t think they could have been to too many U2 shows. You’d have to ask our audience. This may be one of those clichés from the critical community who generally themselves are completely sexless. You can’t fuck people with your head, or maybe you can…

MJ: Now, come on. You honestly think that the kind of really erotic sounds that you hear in “Sexual Healing” or “Little Red Corvette”, that there are U2 songs that have that kind of carnal energy?

BONO: No. Yes, I think there is a sexuality to U2. I don’t think it’s dressed up in leather, or high-heel boots, or that type of thing. I don’t think it’s the sort of peek-a-boo type sexuality. So, some people, who have to have a neon sign that says SEX before they see sex, may not see it in our music. But sex is a much subtler thing than that. Today you’ll find the exact same girl in the Coca-Cola ads and the rock videos. That’s not rebellious anymore. It sells products. And it is a product. That kind of overt or camped-up sexuality is no longer rebellious in the way that it was in the ’50s and ’60s, when people weren’t owning up that they even had a sex life. People needed that shoved in their face and rock’n’roll was a great medium to do it. But that doesn’t apply now…See, most things that a lot of people find sexy, I find incredibly funny! I don’t find the things I see out on the Strip, say, latex trousers, turn me on. They just don’t.

MJ: What do you find really sexy?

BONO: I’m not telling you.

MJ: Why not?

BONO: Just not.

MJ: Why should that be something you’re not willing to share?

BONO: I don’t know many people that would want the world to know. I might tell you, but I’m not telling them.

mj is not michael jackson LOL…it’s whoever was interviewing bono….

BONO: To try and make sense of the madness, we’ve found sanity in a song. Everything else, hotel rooms, cars, buses, airplanes, record companies, motion picture companies…it’s incredible. Just incredible. Sometimes I meet young bands. I just tell them one thing. I just say, “You know one song can change everything for you. Everything.” They say, “I can’t afford the gear. We’ve no lights. We’ve no PA. I’m unemployed.” I just say, “Put it into the song. Don’t put it to me. Put it in a song and I’ll listen to it then.” One young punk came up to me and said, “We can’t even afford strings, man. You’ve got fucking airplanes.” I said, “We wrote ‘I Will Follow’ on two strings. If you can’t get two strings together, fuck off!”



preface: i love michael jackson. i am not the kind of mj fan that “tolerates” or agrees with everything he does. so i feel it’s ok for me to criticize him.

ok so i finally dled the mj video for “you rock my world”. overall it was very entertaining, very good, chris tucker is HILARIOUS!
disappointed in that lacks a big dance routine. and disappointed in that the dancing in it seems way too reminiscent of every thing else mj has done….moves ripped right out of the dangerous routine, smooth criminal….i know i’m sounding exactly like all of mj’s critics, but he really needs some new moves….he needs to work with some new choreographers… like hire his old little buddy Wade Robeson…i’m sure wade would love to teach mj a thing or two lol.

dont get me wrong, i liked the video… i think mj looks terrible though… the make up…the one shot of his face at the end he looks
like a clown…and the fact that he tries to smile at the beginning, and his face doesnt move bugs me… mj fans can flame me if they want, but u cant deny it…


oh yeah, and joe doesn’t think i’m obsessive…he doesnt see me as the kind of person to get obsessive. obviously he doesn’t know me at all LOL