dreamed i was going away for an over night tour at a college i wanted to. i packed a bag, apparently i took my cat and my mom took me to the campus. everything went fine, i stayed in a condo dorm, found the academic building i needed to be at, all good. then i guess i had to go back the next night but this time i was totally unprepared. i forgot to pack any clothes and was just wearing my casino uniform. i realized i forgot once i got to the campus so i was like, blah i’m gonna have to sleep in this. then i couldn’t remember the 4 digit code to open the dorm door. i couldn’t remember what building i had to be at. i had no books or anything i needed. so i tried to find someone who’d take me home. then it turned into being on 90210 or a similar type show. i was in art class and we had to hang our latest painting at the front of the class for everyone to look at. apparently i had painted this swirly blue background with a picture of supermodel giselle glued on top. for some reason leonardo dicaprio was there looking at our art, and he kept looking at mine. he just loved it, and loved that giselle was on it, cuz they used to date (did they in real life? no idea). he was asking our teacher who painted it, and a bunch of people raised their hands, but i was like NO i did. then the director of table games at work was there, turned around and asked me what kind of feelings i was trying to portray. since even in real life, i don’t feel anything when i “do art”, and am not trying to portray any feeling, i froze up and didn’t know what to say. so i made up some crap about how i don’t like to project feelings onto what i do, because it’s up to the viewer to decide what it makes them feel. he accepted that answer as a good one. then we had to go somewhere else for a while, and when we got back my teacher handed me an envelope of money, because she had sold my painting, i guess to leo, but there had been other “bidders”, like it was an auction. then there was some other stuff about these people in high school, and one of them hit his head on the diving board and drowned.


dream: i was taking some kind of music class with eric, but the extent of the class was just listening to music and finding out tour dates making it my favourite class ever. found out the dreaming was going on tour and playing the first show of the tour in buffalo. i wanted to go because i had just found out that robin finck was playing with them now, since trent wasn’t doing anything with nin. but then suddenly trent and robin went on tour with this insane 2 man show. so i got tickets to that, and it was in this not quite abandoned and run down theatre, but it was very dusty and outdated. and very white and beige colored. there were only a handful of people there, and everyone was seated in the last row. trent and robin came on stage, and it wasn’t really a concert but more like performance art with instruments. trent was playing drums….not a full drum set, or playing like a real drummer plays, but like…a few stand up bongos and other drums, and robin was playing piano. the only real song they played was robin began to play
“the frail” on piano, which turned into something else weird, but i was sitting there grinning thinking about how much i love these 2 guys. then suddenly there was a baby grand right in front of me, and i was like rad, i’ve got a front row seat for something. so robin was seated at this other piano now, and trent came and did a somersault over the top of it right in front of me haha. then there was a bit of stage to the right of me, that trent went and sat on a dusty old arm chair. suddenly an old lady was sitting there with him with a baby, and trent started talking about how a lot of the audience had babies and how he had babies too. then the lady left, and trent was curled up in the chair reciting a monologue, like the inner dialog in his head, or what he would be writing into a diary. at this point even though i didn’t want to be rude i was trying to take some pictures with my phone, which had suddenly turned big like ipad/tablet sized, which was really awkward to 1. hide from view and 2. hold and manipulate to take some photos. oh, before this part, there had been some guy who had gone up on stage to say good bye to them, like a personal friend. so now after this monologue another person had gone to wish them well and say goodbye. so i turned to the 2 girls sitting next to me and said that i wanted my own personal goodbye and hugs from them, which led to them saying how they are very approachable and probably would do so. i talked about first meeting trent in belgium and getting a hug from him. apparently this show was happening in new orleans, and the girls were talking about how trent used to be scarier and more unapproachable, and how he didn’t know his way around town despite living there for 3 years. he didn’t know the names of streets, even his own street, to which i almost said he lived at 2nd and coliseum hahahahahaha.



i was giving a tour of the terminal the members of the People’s Temple (jim jones cult). and i was an amazing tour guide. it involved taking a boat to another part of the building, and then getting off directly onto a subway platform where a few were almost hit by a train. there was also a part about bringing someone to stand by a window to look into the concourse, and the whole side of the building tilting in as if it was going to collapse.

there was a lost missile that flew over head slowly, and i watched it crash into a swimming pool. it still exploded i guess, and it sent up a plume of water, and then mushroom cloud. i grabbed my phone to take photos of it, but after it was done, i went to look at the photos to send to WIVB on twitter and none of the photos were there. i was like wtf, where’d my photos go to. what is wrong with this phone? because i totally know that i’m awake and that this really happened.


i dreamed about scientology. i had gone to one of their centers, which was more like a retail store, i was walking around trying to talk to them through racks of clothes. i asked one of them who decides what books about scientology become part of the canon, but they wouldn’t answer me because they thought i was making fun of them or something. but i really wanted to know so i found someone else, and explained, you have all these books by l. ron hubbard, but then you have other members writing books, who/how do they decide what becomes canon. then i went on about how recent times haven’t seen the birth of a new “religion”, that no one has really seen a birth of a new “religion” since jesus’s time 2000 years ago, and that the early catholics were probably treated the same was as the scientologists were being treated now. how they were both seen as “cults”, but how eventually people accepted catholics. then i went on about how i was 100% athiest and nothing anyone ever told me would make me change my mind (not sure how this related haha).

please tom cruise, don’t come and kill me.


dream: these will be spotty from what i remember.

i was at some kind of video shoot for a u2 concert/song. there weren’t many people there, we were going to be shot multiple times and then through the magic of technology, combined together to make it look like a full audience at a stadium. so they’d play, and then the director would rearrange where we were standing and they’d play again, etc. angela was there, but she came late .

i was in some kind of very large building in a weird city, where if you looked out the window, to the left was chicago, and to the right was new york city, and the building was in this weird middle ground of smaller buildings in between the 2 mega cities. i was watching a movie, i forget what it was, and who i was with, but it started playing a 2nd movie on top if it, which was spiderman. a helicopter was flying around outside and was hovering looking into the window which was a bit disconcerting. then i was morning and the apartment turned into a weird little restaurant, and the first customer was carl paladino, and he was with some guy and a mini paladino…supposedly his 4 year old son who looked exactly like him, and looked 80 years old. then mike miller was there working, and gave me some ketchup packets to give to carl, and i kept thinking, how are you here, you’re dead.

angela and i were walking home from the u2 shoot, i guess, down meadow drive and suddenly there was a moose standing there in the road. we were like, wtf there are moose here now? so we manage to get around it (we were scared of it, like it would attack us), and we start hearing weird noises so we look back and there are 2 more moose and they are fighting. then out of no where running down the road is a white unicorn, and i think, what is this, robot unicorn attack? so we manage not to get run over by the unicorn, and we cross the street to go to tops and these people walk by saying something about the unicorn giving out something they thought was fake, and they wanted to make sure it was real so they go into this shop next to tops to confirm that yes the water bottles they got with the red caps are not fakes…the red caps i guess meant you won something. the shop is owned by hindus and it’s decorated with indian/hindu themes and they are giving out more of these bottles with red caps. they also sell ice cream, with free samples, and they are trying to get us to try some but everyone seems really weird, like under a spell. they said to try the ice cream, even if you don’t have any money it’s only $1 (??) and i suddenly had a realization that the shop was some sort of front for a crazy cult. the bottle give away and the free/$1 ice cream putting people in spells was just them trying to recruit for this cult. angela thought i was crazy, and we tried the ice cream anyway, but i was convinced it was a cult.

in real life…my battery in my car died at work last night. it was the original battery, 10 years old, so it was about time. and good thing it was summer not winter.


dream: there was a terrorist attack in knoxville tn. it was a terrorist thing, but it was also an assassination attempt. they bombed a bus that president obama was on with a bunch of people. the president was fine, and there was only one injury, to a person i work with on day shift who i think is named mark. they kept showing him on the news being taken off in a stretcher in a full body cast, but he was going to be fine. for some reason i was supposed to have been on the bus, it took us to work every day or something, but i had missed it for some reason. then i was suddenly there, the bus was still being used, so i got on it and realized where the bomb had been was right where i usually sit with my friends in the back of the bus, and i probably would have been blown up if i hadn’t missed the bus. this time the bus was taking us home i guess and since it had been blown up it finally broke down in some middle of no where town. we had no baggage because our bags had been taken to the destination by plane for some reason, some people had small carry ons, but i had nothing. so we have to leave the bus and are stranded there, and there is a hotel so we go there and see if they have rooms for all of us. the guy was hemming and hawing, and so i told him we were on the bus that blew up. he thought i just meant the engine went, and i said, you know, that bus that blew up and was all over the news, yeah, that’s us. we’re like refugees! and he felt sorry for us and was trying to accommodate us, and i started crying, so upset about all the terrorism and why they would have targeted knoxville of all places. the hotel was on a river bank and across the river was the town airport. you could see all the planes coming in to land, but they were having a lot of trouble landing and kept having to abort and try again. then a truck came in for a landing haha.


dream: i was going through garage sales, and found one at a house with really old people, so i figured they’d have good stuff and they did. i found 2 members only jackets that for some reason had Tillie from the Palace in Asbury Park on them. One was purple, and was actually a Pittsburgh Steelers jacket, but the arms were all small Tillies. I can’t remember what the other jacket was, but I think Tillie was on it too. I was taking pictures of them to send to Leighanne, and the old man yelled at me. I was going to buy the jackets but they wanted $85 each.

i was doing another long bike ride with jasen, it was practice for the ride for roswell, and i was doing pretty well. i had made it to like 67 miles, i’m not sure how long it was supposed to be but i stopped to rest and when i started again i was too tired, and it was getting dark so i didn’t want to continue.

then i kept dreaming about telling leighanne about the tillie dreams, and i was going to tell her how she should get a denim jacket and paint Tillie on the back of it. in the dream i kept thinking tillie had a football head like the Zoobaby or Stewy from Family Guy, and then I realized that no Tillie has a very round head.


dream: i was a divorcee. i had been married for a short time when i was 18 or 19, but i never moved in with my husband, i stayed living with my parents. it didn’t last long and i filed for divorce. but i didn’t really remember any of it, and i didn’t ever tell anyone about it. i couldn’t remember what he looked like, or his last name, but his first was jerry. the only reason i remembered it and brought it up was because i was out with jerry seinfeld and kramer one day, and kramer asked if i knew a good lawyer, and i said, only the one i used for my divorce. they were both surprised i had been married. once i remembered, i realized i didn’t remember if the divorce was ever final, if we had gotten paper work to sign. so i was trying to remember his name so i could contact him and find out. i was looking through an old address book but there were multiple jerry’s listed in it, so i still wasn’t sure who he was.

life: is very uneventful. i really don’t do anything other than work and sit around at home. tired of winter, waiting for it to get nicer out so i can start biking in preparation for the 33 mile Ride for Roswell (please donate to me). i was going to the gym after work to bike but it’s so freaking boring i couldn’t take doing it for more than a half hour or about 3 miles. plus it was 4am and i didn’t really want to get home later than 5, and i couldn’t sleep well afterward (exercising too close to bed time). warmer weather will also (hopefully) motivate me to get out to urbex more.

but i don’t get much accomplished sitting at home all the time either. no motivation to do anything. i “want” to get a gallery show for my chernobyl photos, but that means i want someone to find me and offer it to me, and not me go seek one out lol. i could be researching galleries and working on an artist statement to apply for a show, but…nope. maybe one of these days.

nice weather will also mean garden time. aiming to plant less than 14 tomato plants this year hahaha.

there, a real (boring) update, not just a dream.


dream: i was getting my hair cut and suddenly a little deer got into the shop. it was walking around and then it started biting my hand. it wasn’t really scared of anyone, so of course we figured it had rabies and i thought, great, i’m getting bitten by a rabid baby deer. we didn’t know what to do so someone said to call the ASPCA, but no one wanted to. i’m like what the hell, someone call and get it out of here so it will stop biting me. no one would so i got my phone out and was trying to look up the number while trying to avoid the deer but it kept following me.


dream: for some unknown reason i was watching a tv special featuring 50cent. i can’t remember what songs he was playing, but i thought, these aren’t so bad. (tho i don’t remember the songs, i do know that they were not his own songs in real life). then he started a song and i thought, this sounds like “discipline”, and turns out it was…and trent was singing it as a special guest on 50cent’s special. he was playing a piano while singing, and doing like flips on it. very flamboyant like jerry lee lewis. i called adr2 because she never gets my text messages, and she actually answered. she didn’t say anything right away though and i could hear discipline through the phone so i knew she already had it on.