well last night’s post was lost cuz blogger was messed up. so first, a recap…
my parents have no faith in my ability to sometimes get where i’m supposed to be without getting lost. they thought i had better scope out the federal building where the INS test was being conducted, so that i don’t get lost. dad made me go down town with him, past the building – which if they had just told me where it was, i would have found it just fine…cuz i haven’t been by there 2983497 times. so from there, we stopped at a few stores to find my mom an xmas gift. i had to fight not to cry the entire time i was out with my dad. it was awful.
at night, we went to paul’s for the xmas thing with missy. again, had to fight not to cry the entire time. mom was like, oh here’s some pics of sara and her boyfriend who’s in africa now. which of course led to the 20 questions about nate, and africa, and us…i was asked if we were still together, or if we called it all off. i said it was off, and i think that was the first time my parents knew that we’re not staying together through this. not like i went and told them, “me and nate broke up since he’ll be gone for 2 years.” that led mom to saying how much she hopes we’ll get back together when he comes home but how we’ll be 2 different people by then…and once again, mom brought up how if we had wanted to get married before he left, she would have given us a big party. so that sucked. thankfully the subject didn’t stay there for too long. i was on the verge of asking for a subject change though.
after that, i spent the night sitting here. ended up going through old 3, 4, 5th grade projects, my 6th grade language arts journal, and a notebook me and my exbestfriend kept in high school. we had 2, she has the 10th grade one, i have the 9th grade one. in the journal i said something about my aunt visiting because she “had to get a d&c, god knows what that is” ROFL. i have no memory of writing that, or knowing she was getting it done…i didn’t even know what that was until last year, carolyn told me haha. but yeah. i wonder what my teacher thought. and for anyone reading this, my aunt had cancer, not an abortion LOL. leah scanned 3 pics of me and nate from geneseo…not gonna post them tho, i look like crap and he looks weird cuz he has a hat on. it’s really weird, it’s as if it’s not him.
it snowed about 4 inches last night. it’s the light, but heavy wet kind of snow that sticks to everything. so all the trees are completely covered and weighed down by the snow. it’s so beautiful. i wish i was eloquent and could explain how everything looks, but i can’t. i think i’m going to go photographing if the digicam has batteries.
i can’t sleep anymore. the past week has been awful. i don’t fall asleep til around 3, up at 7 with my parents, and then i spend the next 4 hours trying to go back to sleep and only succeeding for minutes at a time. this morning i had to get up early for the INS test, but of course i was up even earlier cuz i was serenaded by snowblowers. once i start my job for real, and i’m working nights, i might have to invest in sleeping pills to get myself on track. nate said they work really good.
anyway…INS test…it was a test. logical reasoning stuff. not difficult really. apparently my dad is away on business the next few days…good to know, thanks for telling me. i hope my mom doesn’t feel the need to bond with me or anything while i’m away…and like bring up subjects i don’t want to talk about. finally got my mom a gift so i’m done with the xmas shopping. i ended up spending about 30$ on everyone…except my parents LOL
i went looking through more elementary school projects trying to find the simple machines one. it appears that it’s the only one i don’t have…also the weather project, but i think i threw that out. it was the last project we did in 5th grade, most people never got it back. i went in on my own to see what my grade was. but anyway… i found a few things i want to share. i wrote stories all the time, on my own time, when i was a kid. one of these is my own, one was a school project. i was a strange kid.
1.My New Holiday
My new holiday is called Elvis day because Elvis was the king of rock n roll. Elvis day is celebrated July 16th to honor Elvis Presley. Everybody loves Elvis’s music. You want to know how it is celebrated, you have balloons that say Elvis! Elvis, you hang up banners that say Happy Birthday to Elvis. You through confttie, you have pictures of Elvis hung all over, and this is what you have been waiting for, someone that looks like Elvis, someone that plays music like Elvis but is not Elvis. If you do not like Elvis you are weird. To sign up for an Elvis fan club call *my phone number*. You can not call between 9:00AM and 3:30PM. Why? Because I am at school.
2.The Great Story
Once apon a time there was a little girl named Jenny. She made a story and tryed to publish it. It was a very good story, and I do not know why it did not get published. She was going to give it to her friend Andrea for Valentine’s Day. The story was about her and Andrea going to the park one summer day. She talked about what they did and they had fun. They went on the swings and went on the water slide. Then they went to Andreas house and had dinner. They had Macroni and cheese with straberry milk. Then Jenny asked if Andrea could sleepover. The next day they went to the plaza and went to hills. They bought the same pair of roller skates. They were 15$ a piece. When they got home they roller skated around the block 2 times. It was so cold Andrea got sick. Finally the book got published and she gave the first copy to Andrea. Andrea liked the book. The doctor said that she would not get well. She would die in a few days. Jenny said that they would always be best friends. Jenny said that if Andrea died she would die with her and if Jenny did not die with her nothing would be the same. Jenny I know that you would find another best friend.
WTF WAS THAT?!?! This had to be around 4th grade…and i was writing about best friends dying?!?!? and how they’d die without eachother?!?!?!? i don’t even know what to say about Elvis…
my mom constantly contradicts herself…years went by without my mom saying anything about my mental state…like…recently she has said she thinks i’m depressed (and i mean past year, not past few weeks) and that I should see someone about it…so i told her shes about 8 years too late with that, that i consider myself to have been depressed most of my life…so she’ll say i was a happy child, and they let me do whatever i wanted blah blah blah. well today, looking through old stuff, i found something that said “I am happy when _______” and i wrote “when it rains because i can play in my basement”…to which my mom replies how i was such a weird kid and she always knew something was “wrong with me”…that i never had friends, and never called people to play with, that i was always a loner…how i was so weird to be a kid that liked when it rained. then reading my 2nd grade journal, every entry was about calling my friend over to play after school, having hot chocolate parties with my friends (?!?! mom doesn’t remember this either haha), etc…so then mom says i just didn’t ever keep friends…that i never made friends for very long, i hopped around from friend to friend, and i was always standoffish and stuff…so to all of this, i said, well you should have gotten me help back when i was 7. she said that if i ever freak out and go looney to a psychiatrist she can take all this elementary school stuff to show them that i was a happy kid and had a good childhood…
i have to go scan some stuff…digicam battery is charging. probably won’t be able to get any pictures, i’m sure it won’t be as pretty tomorrow.
ended up scanning my photographs of forest lawn cemetery and buffalo central terminal, from the day i kidnapped nate. they are up on my photography site…i’m on a quest now to find my father’s pictures of the terminal…from the 80s i believe, when it was still open. there are some amazing pics on the terminal’s official site…so jealous. i want to get in so bad. dad has no clue where his pictures are, i looked through the photo albums by the futon in the basement but no luck there…there are so many other pics on the other side of the basement, it’s going to be a chore to say the least…and knowing him, they’re probably on slides, and then that’s another bunch of boxes to have to look through. ug.
training again tonight. i start getting paid on wednesday. have training until thursday, then saturday afternoon is a dress rehearsal for 4 hours at the mall. i have to call the manager tomorrow to see if i have to work the 26th or not.
i took a bunch of pics outside tonight, but i can’t get them off the camera. dad doesn’t have it set up yet on his comp. i looked at them on the lcd tho…since it’s point and shoot, you can’t really do nite time no flash pics,…which is what i wanted. i tried to cover the flash, but it would just come out as black. i got a few good ones with the flash though. eventually they’ll be up. i love snow. people in warm climates really don’t know what they’re missing. it was so beautiful out tonight. i walked around the block, it wasn’t that cold, no wind…so the snow was just lightly falling, and it’s all sparkly and pretty. gorgeous.
something about the rainbow mall gives me such a headache. i can barely see straight, and my head is killing me again. blah.