ok so i renewed my spiral membership – and i really think it’s unnecessary to charge another 8$ for shipping of the tshirt and other crap they may be sending. we didn’t have to pay for shipping of membership items last year and they included a huge fuck off poster…not happy about that…i could really care less about getting another tshirt. all i want is my presales and early access to the venue.

and in other nin news, a fourth London show was added. wtf. i don’t even want to go to it. and i’m not buying a ticket for it. besides it probably interferes with travel plans, but who knows, i dont have my travel calendar here with me.

(the british next top model is boring)

ages ago, like 6 or 7 years ago, after i read Fight Club i wrote Chuck Palahniuk a letter. and i was thrilled to death that i got a real written response and not a form letter. honestly i didn’t even expect a form letter, and had totally forgotten about having ever written to him when i got the response. carolyn and cyndi had also written to him a while after me, and they both got packages including fun little gifts and i think cyndi got a copy of choke. well since his popularity sort of exploded he no longer accepts fan mail except for during specific “publicized” windows of time, which are announced on chuchpalahniuk.net. i had been wanting to send him some of my photographs because i think he would like them. the mail window finally opened up in october and i sent a letter off. however the rules were he would accept no packages, so i settled for including crappy prints inserted into my letter, as well as some questions about if he’ll write a book that doesn’t have to do with the theme of self destruction. i hope that didn’t come across as mean or critical haha. anyway. i got a package from him today. let’s see what’s in it. lots of gold glitter everywhere. a folding pocket comb that looks like a switch blade haha. a rubber ducky with a party hat on (apparently it’s my power animal). a large christmas light bulb that lights up when you press a button. it’s purple. something that should have been in a package for carolyn – a 50 piece puzzle of a yorkshire terrier. a plastic severed finger. a big plastic spider. a super ball. a crystal ornament that would hang off of a lamp or chandelier. russell stover chocolates. a harmonica. chuch palahniuk tour stories volume 1 and 2 cd…or dvd? cd i think. apparently he made these cds just for people who wrote to him. a book sox package. a huge light up plastic ruby ring. plastic glow in the dark moons and stars. lots and lots of gold glitter now everywhere. a hello my name is…chuck palahniuk signed sticker. trick relighting birthday candles (haha chris). a postcard for Clown Girl. forget me not and money plant seeds (carolyn – didn’t he send you seeds too?) and a small pirate coloring book. LOL

and this letter, that omg, is amazing.

“I love your photographs. My favorite website is “The Fabulous Ruins of Detroit,” and I’ll trespass any time to get a closer look at abandoned masonry structures. What the appeal is, I’m not sure, but I can never get enough. For this reason, Butte, Montana was my favorite place – but good economic times are renovating and ruining all the spooky rotting skyscrapers of Butte.

The Michigan Central Station is my idea of holy ground.

And I’m sorry if I seem in a rut – self destruction as redemption. Being raised as a Catholic really does a number on you. All those tortured saints.

For more of the same, I’m sending you some souvenirs of book tours. Ten years of the stories I read in public, from “Fight Club” in 1996 to “Guts” in 2006. The one new story “Cold Calling” is different and might surprise you.

For now, I’ll definitely keep looking for your work. You, pour this box into a stocking and call it Christmas. And have a great New Year.”

I’ll shut up now, Chuck Palahniuk”

with a hand written signature, “merry christmas” and a note that the next two books are a big change.

he is definitely the coolest ever. if i could only remember what photos i sent him LOL.

i finished reading “rat scabies and the holy grail” – fabulous book. amusing and entertaining story about a regular guy and his punk drummer neighbor investigating the Rennes le Chateau mystery. totally fun quick read. at first i thought it was a made up novel but i’m now thinking it’s based on a true story. the people really exist so…not sure.

now i’m reading “electric kool-aid acid test”. so far it’s not bad, and it’s not frustrating to read like a few of the other i’ve started. but i think i may be too old for my mind to be blown by this hippie drug culture book.

dear god i am so sick of urban explorers and uer and the database.

the wheel almost fell off my car. my dad put my snow tires on last saturday and they sounded funny, but i ignored it because they sound funny to begin with – just louder than the regular tires. but then it kept getting worse – a sound like something was rubbing/hitting something else as the tire spun. it was super loud when i went to the grocery store today so i detoured to home to tell my dad. he test drove it, and looked, and he forgot to tighten the lug nuts all the way on one wheel. super. that would have been great to have the wheel come off.

must remember to buy rubber gloves for transfig. and bandaids.

what else what else…

my new green contacts finally arrived, and along with them, they sent me chocolate haha. anyway. they are very green. i think they make me look demented. more than the blue ones did. but i like em. they’re so obviously fake it’s amusing.

hair cut tomorrow, i need new jeans cuz my pirate jeans have a hole in the ass. i guess they officially become urbex pants now. it’ll be ok to get them covered in bird crap at transfig thurs. hair dying tomorrow night as well.

i finished reading A Clockwork Orange. it got much easier to read with all the strange words when you just ignore them. and eventually you read them so many times that you sorta know what it’s supposed to say. all in all the movie followed the book pretty well. but wow that end chapter, that was in the UK versions and left out of the US ones for a long time…it actually almost ruins it. just…not expected, doesn’t fit, and almost seems like a cop out. on the other hand, it does make a statement that everything is just a phase…i am now reading Rat Scabies and the Holy Grail. i don’t know how i found it, i think the title just sounded interesting when searching someone’s bookmooch list. rat scabies is a drummer of one of the first london punk bands, and the story is about him and his neighbor trying to find the holy grail. i’ve only read one chapter and it’s already quite amusing and fun. i mooched all these “classics” off of bookmooch, books that have been banned, famous books that as an educated and intelligent person, i feel like i should read…but i really have no interest in doing so. these fun little novels are much more appealing than what i expect “classics” to be. i think it’s because of how much english classes in school ruin good books, i fear reading things that are taught in school. scarlet letter – great book. really liked it, but then i think about how much my 11th grade english teacher made us read in to it and find hidden meanings and it just wasn’t fun. same with a tale of two cities. i love that book now. but i hated it in 10th grade. i’m just scared of the classics cuz in my head classic=boring.

OH…anyone want to go to toronto vs buffalo next wednesday at HSBC? because we can’t get rid of the damn tickets. this was definitely NOT a game we thought we’d have trouble selling the tickets to, but we got no bids on ebay, nothing through craigslist or postaroo, and most people at work have to work next wed – that day being our 2nd busiest day of the year and all. if anyone knows someone interested, section 321 row 10 seats 21 and 22 – $150.

thank you for making me not think i’m stupid for not being able to read 451 and being sorta bored by catch-22. i’m going to continue with 22 for now but i can see myself putting it aside for something else at some point. my book choices are because i decided to read books that were banned. so i have american psycho, electric kool aid acid test, ordinary people, uncle toms cabin…others i think too, to get through. i have only a few “educational” books like the pentagon papers. waiting for one about free masons 🙂 i’m so weird.

sooo cold.

i broke my sewing machine. go me! it’s jammed, won’t move, don’t know why.

picked up adrienne at the airport and went to the arena to see if there was a practice. we were there maybe 15 minutes before the end. no matter. one of the players (some young kid haha) threw her a puck. so that made it worth it hehe. worked on the costume until the machine broke. ah well.

i finished the radioactive boy scout – interesting book, amazing what this teenage kid managed to get, as far as radioactive materials are concerned, just by writing letters to the atomic energy commision, and other government agencies while posing as a college professor. this is pre 9-11 but STILL…you’d think that writing to a company that provides uranium for experiments would not succeed in gaining a sample…incredible.

so i thought i’d start fahrenheit 451 and i tried…got a few pages in and i couldn’t take it. it wasn’t making sense, i didn’t like the writing style, and if i had to read one more dickens-esque “he was shaking, yet still” phrases i was going to rip it apart. so that one is on hold.

so i tried catch-22. it’s going better, but i am still annoyed by it for some reason. i think i’m at a point where i just can’t read a novel right now. i may put that aside for the pentagon papers first but we’ll see.

surgery

healing i guess. the one incision hurts when i move certain ways – including rolling over in bed – it just screams and feels sooo not good. but other than that i’m doing ok. the shoulders don’t hurt anymore. went out to a few stores with my mom yesterday. so yeah. progressing.

bored out of my mind however and it’s only been 3 days. watched all of carnivale season 1 to prepare for season 2 which i started watching last night. good stuff. as if a carnival, freaks, weird religion, and psych hospitals weren’t enough to make it the best series ever, they go and add atomic bombs. woo! it’s getting interesting. again.

finished “an air that kills” the asbestos book. things i learned from the asbestos book
1. asbestos isn’t man made, it’s a mineral
2. there are different kinds of asbestos which have varying levels of dangerousness
3. there is no ban on asbestos in consumer products!! it is still being mined and used in the US
4. there was and may still be asbestos in certain crayons. crayola now makes crayons without the talc which was contaminated with asbestos. dunno about the other companies though
5. asbestos is pretty much everywhere so we’re all gonna die
6. as if i needed another reason to hate the bush administration, they have to cover up the toxic dangers of 9-11, and fight asbestos regulation, along with haliburton and other big asbestos industry leaders.

don’t know which book to read next. didn’t finish “do fish drink water” so maybe that first. got a bunch from bookmooch to read now too.

so so so bored.

book reviews

tho i love reading, i only really do it before i go to sleep. so it takes me a few weeks to get through a normal sized book. time for a book review.

“The Good the Bad and the Mad: Some weird people in American history” – a collection of short bio’s on interesting people. quick and interesting read. most of the people i had never heard of, so it was new info for me.

“A Brief History of The Cold War” – fascinating (to me) book that gives an overview of the Cold War starting from the Bolshevik revolution up to the fall of the Berlin Wall and collapse of the USSR. Really interesting, lots of information, and lots of things that make you just sick now with all that’s going on in Iraq. Some quotes:
“Democracy is, after all, the will of the majority, however misguided, stupid, or ignorant that majority will be.” SO TRUE.
“He was promptly stigmatized by the left as ‘ill equipped for the great responsibility he bears…bellicose, ignorant and with a simplistic view of the world, pieced together from journals of right-wing opinion and Hollywood b-movies………The President (Reagan) was characterized as a ‘stupid cowboy’ and a political simpleton in the liberal press in both Europe and America, much to the delight of political cartoonists.” – Such a good way to characterize Dubya as well.
Regarding the Berlin Wall – “President Bush (Sr) was slower to react and watched the events in Berlin unfold on television in a state of bewildered disbelief. Richard Gephardt’s soundbite on his President’s reaction went to the heart of the White House’s pedestrian approach to the momentous events of 1989: ‘As the walls of the modern Jericho come tumbling down, we have a President who is inadequate to the moment…’ ”
Bush Sr regarding the attempted coup in USSR: “In an astonishing remark he called the attempted coup ‘extra-constitutional’, whatever that meant, and called for ‘prudence’ ” hahha

The main problelm with the book, I found, was that he uses abbreviations that we are apparently supposed to know, but don’t. So half the time I was confused as to what agency or organization he was talking about. I found out at the end that there was a glossary. He also frequently uses french sayings to describe things. While I know what raison d’etre means, most of the other ones I didn’t. There’s no point except to sound pompous and arrogant. In a book that is supposed to be an easy read and easy to understand, things like that make it seem too academic for the general population. Good book though.

“Yes Man” – fun book, apparently true story, about a man who is told by a stranger to “say yes more.” He takes up the suggestion vowing to say yes to everything he comes across – from penis enlargement pills to adopting elderly people and traveling to singapore. Amusing and funny, somewhat inspiring, and uplifting. quote that i LOLed at “I decided very quickly that if i was approached by any monk named either Professor Plum or Colonel Mustard, i’d be out the door, in the car, with a five-iron. Which is a scenario Clue never seemed to cover.” hahahah

“Voices from Chernobyl” – intersting collection of interviews and first hand accounts of the nuclear accident at Chernobyl in the early 80s. very recommended. however it assumes you know something about what happened there. easy and interesting read even if you have no clue.

I am now reading a book called “Do fish drink water?” which is apparently a collection of questions and their answers. After the animal section, I’d say it’s interesting and a quick read. Must remember to take it to my hida scan tomorrow since they said it could take up to 4 hours for my gall bladder to cooperate.

With finishing all these books, I think I’m going to join bookmooch.com. It’s a free service where you list old books you don’t need anymore, and can look for books you want to read. You get points for each book you list, which you can redeem to get a book. All you pay for is shipping to other moochers.

book quotes

as i said before, i am currently reading A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn. I want to share a few quotes, mostly for myself, but maybe someone will appreciate them.

first one, because it can be so perfectly applied to today:

“How our hearts burned with indignation against the atrocious Spaniards!…But when the smoke was over, the dead buried, and the cost of the war came back to the people in an increase in the price of commodities and rent – that is, when we sobered up from our patriotic spree – it suddenly dawned on us that the cause of the Spanish-American war was the price of sugar…that the lives, blood, and money of the American people were used to protect the interests of the American capitalists.” – Emma Goldman

“There is not a nation of the earth guilty of practices more shocking and bloody than are the people of these United States at this very hour. Go where you may, search where you will, roam through all the monarchies and despotisms of the Old World, travel through South America, search out every abuse and when you have found the last, lay your facts by the side of the everyday practices of this nation,and you will say with me that, for revolting barbarity and shameless hypocrisy, America reigns without a rival…” – Frederick Douglas

“Let us go to war. The world has become stale and insipid, the ships ought to be all captured, and the cities battered down, and the world burned up, so that we can start again. There would be fun in that. Some interest, – something to talk about.” New York Journal of Commerce August 1845

dream

dreamed i had a wonderful boyfriend and it was depp as willy wonka. hahah

i finally finished the Fellowship of the Ring. and i still think it was kinda boring. i spent half the book waiting for the story to begin, then i realized oh this IS the story. i don’t have all that much interest in reading the other 2 books, though i probably will once i get through the pile i have now to read. i am currently reading howard zinn’s A People’s History of the United States. it tells the “other side” of major historical events, most often from the perspective of the victim. the first few chapters are on columbus and the colonies’ treatment of indians, the slave trade, and we are now on…i forgot. but so far it’s good. but i’m a dork like that. i’m in a “brain turning to mush so i must read educational books” phase.

i’m tired of being so tired and always having a headache.

i have motivation to clean my house cuz i made plans for a bunch of people from work to come over on thursday for game night. how dorky are we. it’s supposed to be mahjong night, but since none of us (me, tony, phil, pat) really know how to play, it’ll probably turn into some other kind of game night. pat has tony’s mahjong book right now to learn to play, i have no clue at all hahah. cuz it’s not like mahjong on the computer lol

i wanna live for you

god i hate who’s the boss. carolyn, how on earth did you watch this addictively a few years ago?

work was ok. i was let out of high limit for a while…was an extra cuz they didn’t open the bacc table, and ended up back there on blackjack at the end of the night which was ok. anything but bacc.

when i think of something psych related – from psychopathology to perception – for fun i make up experiments to test what i am wondering about. i still would never want to actually go and run them as a job, but it’s fun to think about. for me at least. and it stops my brain from going to mush. tonight i was wondering if you can really tell the difference, visually, between a car going 35 mph and 40 mph. my thought would be no.

half way through fellowship of the ring. i still find it somewhat boring. it’s boring punctuated with really fast bits of action, and then boring again. but it’s ok enough for me to keep reading. i have a pile of books to read now, mom bought a bunch off my wishlist for xmas. and i found the “Everyone has a bono story” novel buried on my desk haha.