i had been waiting for the release of maynard james keenan’s tool/apc side project Puscifier for ages now. it comes out tuesday, i just remembered. but i am finding myself much more excited now for the new saul williams “niggy tardust” album. wow that name. i hate it. but the music should be interesting. as soon as trent posted about its internet only release for $5 i “preordered”. the album arrives for download on thursday.

my weekend was spent doing absolutely nothing. no lie. i slept in and had no desire to get out of bed either day. then just sat here until work. saturday morning after work was the last day with any pills, making today the first full day with 0 in my system. it actually went pretty well. we’ll see about the next few days. overall i think this withdrawal period was much better than the last time i attempted this – close to 3 years ago. there is a difference in my sleep, but it’s not as bad as last time. i’m getting some nightmares that i can’t wake myself out of which sorta suck…it’s taking ages to fall asleep again. i’m waking up alot and moving around alot. but at least i’m not waking up because i think i’m falling and terrified that someone is in the room and going to kill me, not waking up every hour on the hour, and being unable to sleep past 8am. the immediate few days after dropping the dosages i would physically feel like crap. not headaches so much as abdomen discomfort. not stomach aches, no digestive issues, just…general unwellness. i am dizzy alot, and get this weird feeling like my brain/soul is moving inside me when i am not. i am also hungry CONSTANTLY. i don’t remember that last time. in fact, last time i remember hardly being able to eat because i was nauseated all the time. now that i’m at 0 dosage i’m hoping this last bout of withdrawal is short, and that i start feeling better. the reason i started taking it again after the last attempt is because after almost 2 months with out any of the drug i was still feeling absolutely horrible all the time. this time, i don’t have any left to start taking them again, and at this point if my headaches don’t come roaring back i see no reason to go back to the dr to get more (or to get a different drug for my headaches). maybe i’ve finally “grown out of it”. only took 27 years 😛

and unfortunately i’ve had to turn the heat on. it was 57 in here when i got home tonight. arg. i finally get my hair cut tomorrow, as long as my hair lady’s daughter doesn’t go into labor. please just hold on 9 more hours!! haha.