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slept pretty damn good last night. had wackass dreams about nsync and larry mullen jr, darren hayes from savage garden, and trent. insane. haha.

i’m freezing. it’s probably warmer outside. kurt is supposed to stop by around 2, so i have to make sure to be dressed by then hahah. then i work at 5. phone is ringing. i have to go pick up my new scripts from the stupid doctor, it was too much trouble for that dr to mail them to me apparently. and i get mail every day about my student loans and i don’t understand what any of it means. my loan repayment book says i owe a payment at the end of this month, but the letter i got yesterday says my first payment is due the end of december…and so now my parents want me to call and find out whats going on…well that’s fine if i knew anything about my loans and what the hell i’m supposed to be asking them. ug.

 

easy mac could quite possibly leave THE worst aftertaste in your mouth of all aftertastes possible. i’ve been being obsesive-compulsive about my teeth this week. they just FEEL gross all the time. sat night when nate, adr, and danielle were over i had to brush my teeth randomly. they felt so nasty. and today, i can’t get them feeling ungross. it’s driving me nuts. just brushed my teeth after the easy mac, and they still feel gross. blah.

kurt was just here, on time too!! gave me my stuff, i gave him his stuff. all good. i had this fear suddenly that the directions i gave him would be the complete opposite of where he was coming from, and he’d be hopelessly and depserately lost in niagara falls. but nope. haha.

i’m in a bad mood. mom induced this time. on my case about getting a job – apparently she thought the mail room would have been a fantastic position. she goes on and on about how i need to make some money, and i can’t expect to get the highest position in a company, and how i’m smarter than working at barnes and nobles (but apparently not smarter than a mail room), blah blah blah. AS IF I DON’T ALREADY KNOW ANY OF THIS. I’M NOT STUPID. how she doesn’t care what kind of job i get as long as i get another job. how if i don’t she’s going to wake me up early every morning to do gardening and cut the grass for her etc etc etc. she makes me feel so good about myself. wish i could see nate tonight, but nope, gotta work. anyway..the job thing. aunt darleen said she’d get me a job at barnes and nobles, part time only, so….i bet if i went back to mcds my mom wouldn’t be happy with that although, in her own words, she said, “get a job at a factory. i don’t care what kind of job you get as long as you get another one.” you’d think i’ve been unemployed for the past year the way she’s treating me. whatever. i have no motivation to get a 2nd job, because the only thing that WOULD motivate me would be moving out of this house, and even with a 2nd job i still won’t be able to afford it. that’s why ty’s proposition to move in with me if he moved up north was so delightful. but that’s not gonna happen anymore either. blah

 

work was fine. we had ALOT of swingers come in tonight. pretty damn interesting. OMG yeah i have a story. ok. early in the day the bartender sold an all access card to one of the swingers. when you sign up for all access you get a bag, pin, and keychain…well she bought the card because “the bag would fit all her dildos”!!!!!!!! then she proceeded to point out that man, and that man, and that woman who she slept with so far this week to the bartender. so this story was told at preshift (which i wasn’t there for) but later the woman came in, and mgr flipped out and was like THAT’S THE DILDO WOMAN! ok this woman was short, and probably 350 lbs or more, wearing a bright red “hottie” shirt… omg. unbelievable. i dunno, it’s cuz of tv and movies that i think swingers should have to be all pretty and trendy…instead they’re white trash couples. insane.

so yeah…that’s the only thing really worth mentioning tonight. tired. bedtime

OH WAIT! Sabres kicked fucking ASS tonight! woo hoo, way to start out the season boys!

ROFL simpsons!!!
skinner to the hamster: “now chew through my ball sack”

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ug *ahem* i feel like crap. i should eat something. it made the sick feeling go away last night. i only got out of bed right now cuz i was in too much pain. i almost want to throw up, cuz i’d probably feel better. but it’s not that bad that i could actually do it. ug.

 

today’s haiku

mom’s cooking something
making me very nauseus
wish that she would stop

 

i still feel sorta sick. i went back to bed for a while, half asleep. got up and had some tea and toast. when i eat, it makes the sickness go away, sooo i should keep eating. since i am hungry despite the nausea. the sickness should be going away soon. dr adrienne said so haha.

i’m making it sound like i have morning sickness LOL. so to ease your worries, i don’t LOL.

i’m thinking i should take a shower before my dad gets home. he’s always weird about when i’ve been lazy around the house all day, or he comes in to say hi and i’m in bed reading or something. so what if i’m still in my pjs and it’s 3pm, i’ve been sick!

 

have i ever expressed my belief that i was an exhibitionist in a past life? this is something i’ve thought for a long time, not a recent revelation (despite the answers of this quiz and the porn one lol)…seriously for some reason, i think i was a flasher or something.

 

yahoo headline “Shuttle docks with ISS, delivers salsa” hahah

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ug slept so wrong in the spare bed. my back/neck is all screwed up now, i feel like my head is gonna fall off. blah. this hurts.

someone keeps calling and not leaving a msg on the machine. i didn’t want to get out of bed to answer it, but they won’t leave a msg and now it’s kinda freaking me out. that’s why i’m awake.

 

sometimes i wonder if the life i’m living right now is really mine. cuz so much of it has changed recently, that it’s like… is this me? and am i doing this? lol.

it was adrienne who kept calling. she didn’t want to leave a message.

i’m so friggen cold. and the thermostat to the house is in the warmest room in the house, so the furnace won’t go on until that room is cold. it’s already set at 70, blah. i am fearing taking a shower, because i’m gonna freeze to death, but i figured i should get started on my day. i already sorta cleaned up the kitchen, but i need to do some laundry, find my winter clothes, and then do some job stuff. i think i might go apply at brylin hospital again. for the 3rd time. now that i’ve actually graduated maybe they’ll give me a job. doubt it. but i don’t feel like driving down there today, so i’m not gonna :). of course i could go take pics of the psych center while i’m down there…hmmm…see where i can break and enter. nah, i’ll just stay home. adr will be by after work, parents should be home around 11pm.

 

omg the amount of scratches on my car is unbelievable. esp on the passenger side. i don’t know what you guys do getting into my car but holy crap. and these aren’t even surface scratches, i dunno wtf kind they are but they’re white…what is that, primer? when my dad sees them he’s gonna yell at me. but i don’t get it. i don’t know how i keep getting them i just do…my parents have cars for 10 years and don’t get scratches in them, i have mine for a year and have tons.

i went and did my errands. paid my credit card bill that i forgot about, got gas….don’t give into that whole discounted gas with purchase of a car wash thing, cuz they didn’t give me any damn discount. i still paid 1.55, not 1.45 as the sign says. arg. i called to renew my prescriptions since i have the new mail order drug thing…and i called temp agency. i could have had a job starting tomorrow. mail room clerk..sorting mail, entering simple things onto a computer, long term position. while she was explaining it to me i was thinking of what i should say because i didn’t want it. MAIL ROOM CLERK FOR CHRISTS SAKE I’M A COLLEGE GRADUATE! i’m not fucking sorting mail for 7$ an hour. but it started tomorrow, so i got to use the excuse of having another job where i need a weeks notice.

oh yeah i forgot to mention, i figured out what job i need to have. waitress at the harbor club at HSBC arena. you take people’s orders in the 200 level seats…i can walk up and down the stairs while watching the game taking orders on a palm pilot. but i figure you gotta know someone to get that job lol. a season of free games, how fantastic would that be. getting paid to be there for the games even better hehe

i’ve been getting myself slightly motivated to start a webdesign “company”…create a site for myself to advertise my services. and i’ve even thought about possibly “hiring” kristen at work to do graphic work for me, if it came to that. she’s a graphic designer, i’d pay her for what i’d need done…so i might work on that today…figure out what i’d need to put on the site and stuff. make up some dummy sites as examples of what i can do, that sort of thing. it’s just that i see what’s on the web and i see how much better i can do it. and i see that there is a need for really affordable web design, which i can provide. god 500$ a site would make my day, and “professionals” charge over 1000$ for simple sites. small businesses can’t afford that…so there’s my niche lol. i gotta get back to my flash lessons too, because that’ll make me more marketable i think.

trying to work out some plans to go see danielle in november. gotta see if nate will go with me. that’s the only way my mom is going to let me drive out there – oddly enough. it’s cuz nate could drive my car, no one else can. the first 2 weekends in nov are good for her, so gonna see what’s up on this end since nate claims he won’t be working in november.

oh and for what seems like no reason, but there is one, i’m gonna say this again. i have really amazing friends.

 

ha guess who signed a 2 year deal with the sabres 🙂 BOUT FRIGGEN TIME!

didn’t expect to hear from nate today, but he called a bit ago. he had to check in on…something. i guess the plan is to go see “red dragon” later in the week (assuming friday or sat night) with his friend andy, and adrienne. my feeling is that he should pay for adr’s ticket too, but i’m not gonna express that feeling LOL. nate’s whole “we’ll do something later on in the week” line should be patented. he’d make alot of money from it lol.

do i seem irritated again? cuz i’m really not this time. it’s hard to convey feelings in type, but oh well. i’m quite content at the moment. bored, but content. and sorta hungry even tho i actually ate dinner tonight.

 

canadian airing of the osbournes… so friggen funny *love being a border baby*…the bubbles quote is 2984294 times funnier when it’s unbleeped. now i wish i’d been taping the unedited ones all along, cuz it’d be great to have unbleeped ozzy wav files haha. and you can put on closed captioning and see what ozzy is actually saying. but yeah. hiiiiilllllaaaarious.

so in honor of the osbournes, the first edition of my to-be-daily haiku poem.

ozzy is so great
can’t use the remote control
no bubbles for him

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i am such a wimp, but i’m a happy wimp.

i slept back in my own bed last night cuz i didn’t feel like moving my clock into the spare room. haha. the shooting pains through my lower back were almost bad enough to make me get out of bed and switch rooms but i managed through the night. slept very good until the tornado outside at 4:30am, and the phone call at 6:50.

work was fine. it went surpisingly fast, and we were pretty steady most of the day. didn’t see any of the swingers yet hehe. i occupied myself by coloring the rotation sheet as always, but then i did the word puzzles in the paper. i was doing the crossword puzzle. they make me feel so stupid because i can never get any of the words. they really frustrate me beyond belief, to the point where i want to get violent. me and carolyn attempted to do them on the plane home from detroit, but was just too frustrating. i did really well on this one tho, surprised me. so it was good cuz i was able to keep doing it and not realize that it was already 4pm. i didn’t finish it tho. the crossword puzzle was next to the horoscopes. i’m not into the whole astrology thing, but my horoscope for today was just too freaky to ignore. so i wrote it down hehe: “your moodiness will cause your mate confusion. while you are so indecisive you should be less vocal. someone close to you maybe able to shed some light on what is happening to you.” scary. cuz it couldn’t be more true. it was like they spied on me yesterday before they wrote it haha.

i ordered my free dinner that i won to take home with me 2 seconds before nate called me at work, cuz he wanted to take me to dinner. lol. gave my food to larry lol..so nate was at my house waiting for me when i got home, and we went to Shogun the Japanese hibachi steak and sushi palace. they do the whole, chop things up and cook it on a grill in front of you thing. it was really cool. and i ate, and got full, and it was good. AND i had sushi. nate randomly ordered a sushi thing, called bonito. don’t know what it was, but i tried some of it with the wasabi (i called it the green playdoh, carolyn told me what it was), and it wasn’t all that bad. weird texture, weird flavor, but it wasn’t bad. i had hibachi steak for dinner. i didn’t die. i was adventurous. i had some japanese style whiskey sour. haha. i’m proud of myself.

came back here for a while, nate left at 9. i switched shifts with larry so now i work thursday night instead of wednesday night…and then saturday day, sunday night. gotta call the temp agency tomorrow, see if they have a job for my ass…clean the house up, fill out application for hsbc bank…shit i was gonna go get gas tonight while it was still 5 cents off. ug, oh well.

it’s freezing in here. i don’t know how to turn the heat on. i wish my parents would call back so i can ask them. they only left me 2 messages while nate and i were gone for a whole 2 hrs at dinner.

i’ve thought i was getting sick since last week. every now and then my throat starts to feel all icky and scratchy. i thought it was the AC at work or something. but it keeps getting irritated, and my ears have been getting plugged up. now i definitely think i’m getting sick. blah. i hate being sick.

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i hate being a cancer. stupid fucking moods. need to get out of this mood, cuz theres no reason i should be in it except that i’m stupid. it’s been a good weekend etc, but no i have to go and drink (depressants, yay), and then be stupid after everyone left.

didn’t do much of anything last night. since adr and nate were already here, danielle came here. we drank and watched tv all night. danielle left around quarter to 1, nate left at 1 cuz he’s a big giant wimp when it comes to sleeping, and i took adr home after that. then i got all stupid and depressed and blah. i hate my head. now it’s carried over to today, and i want it to go away cuz i want to be happy.

i got called into work but told them no. i should have just gone in, cuz i know even if i call nate we’re not going to do anything. and that’ll make me more depressed. blah stop thinking this way. fucking moods. go away. blah

 

yep i was right. i’ll be here doing nothing by myself all day, wallowing in my own self pity. sometimes i wonder why i bother. at least he knows i’m throughly annoyed at him. oh wait, he’s a boy. he probably didn’t realize at all even tho i pretty much spelled it out. saying GRRRRRRR I’m really frustrated probably didn’t get through his head. “sorry babe we’ll do something tomorrow” yeah fuck off.

as much as i wish i could be a complete stupid bitch, and if/when he calls later today/tomorrow to do something, i’d be like “oh, i don’t feel like it” i know as soon as i talk to him i’ll be like, yeah ok. and even tho i would like to be all cool towards him when i see him, i know i wouldn’t be able to do it. cuz as soon as i see him, i’ll be fine and happy again. i don’t like this.

i wish all my friends who keep telling me they want to slap him for not taking advantage of perfect situations could come over here and do it. that’d be nice.

fucking ignore me. i’m being stupid. i should have gone into work. i dunno what i was thinking. tell me to shut up.

 

i’ve decided i’m way more upset at myself than i am at nate. he’s just always the trigger. he hasn’t done anything wrong, he’s just being himself. and then i get upset at myself for thinking the way i have been. cuz this isn’t me, and i don’t act this way, and i don’t like being this way. and then it just gets worse, cuz then i feel really self-destructive and want to destroy everything, and that makes me even more upset. it’s been a long time since i’ve felt really self-destructive. i’m trying to keep all that down so i don’t fuck shit up.

this is NOT how i wanted to spend my day.

and how come trent reznor has to write lyrics that “speak to me” so much. it’s like every song that comes on i want to post lyrics on here from them. sometimes it doesn’t make me feel any better to relate to his lyrics.

 

oh hey something funny. watching tv last night, and this commercial came on. i was like OH IS THIS THE IKEA COMMERCIAL!?!?! one of nate’s friends had told us about this really funny ikea commercial about a lamp…it was THE commercial. and the 4 of us were hysterically laughing – mainly cuz danielle was like OMG I DID FEEL BAD FOR THE LAMP. the commercial is so funny. one of the best that i’ve seen in a long time. gotta see if it’s around for download. omg i want to download a COMMERCIAL!

 

all i gotta say is fuck football, i’m going to the sabres game. 200 level club seats, for free. thanks to my dad’s weird friend who just stopped by.

 

so sabres game. got adr, and dinner at mcds, headed downtown. wonderful seats in the posh 200 level where they serve you food at your seats. so we have now sat in every level of the arena (except the boxes). the seats were sorta left corner, goal end, perfect view of the entire ice. good choice for season tickets, if this is where my dad’s friend sits all the time. game was fantastic until the 3rd period, where sabres became the team we all know and try to love – lost a 3 goal lead in half the 3rd period, and then lost by 1. this team is so frustrating sometimes.

but anyway…i decided *in a hedwig voice* “god i deserve a break today” so i treated myself and indulged in strawberry dippin dots. they were delightful as always, but sadly the highlight of my day. the game was a pleasant distraction, even tho i kept spacing out. not always thinking about bad things, but thinking, and not paying attention. adr was like “Are you ok?” lol. besides being stupid as i’ve been all day, i didn’t feel good (head hurt), and this guy in front of us was wearing curve so it was making me feel nausated. (is that grammatically correct?)

but i’m beyond the crying that i was doing all day i think, and i’m just pissed off and slightly numb. like, i’m feeling more like myself in that when i’m pissed off i get really vengeful. and i feel slightly bad about it, cuz i have no reason to be pissed off. maybe irritated and slightly disappointed, but not pissed off. don’t worry it’ll go away.

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nate claims he could tell that i liked him the moment we met. and that he knew i had scared off the competition at work (?!?!). i said i didn’t scare anyone, but he claims people could tell so i scared them off. but yeah..and then he said he really knew i was into him when we went out the first night and i said he could never see my website LOL. so i told him how the day after we met i had gone out with eric and eric laughed at me cuz i was so giddy. and i told him that even if he found my website i had been password posting stuff about him, and used a fake name for a while lol.

anyway. nate was in a movie. you can see pictures from it, and info about it at this site: Aliens…From Space. you can watch it on the internet, but you have to give credit card info for this other site, and you won’t get charged if u cancel membership before 30 days…but we were like um, no. he’s just gonna bring the movie over. we watched my 12th grade space video, with the barbies and stuff. he thought it was funny hahah. cuz it is.

ok yeah. desperately need sleep. going to pass out.

 

holy jesus christ. 8:30 the loudest construction crew ever pulled up in front of my house. o.m.g they are so loud. they talk loud, they’re doing their thing loud. omg. the vampires nextdoor are getting a new roof…again. they just got a roof put on when they bought the house 6 years ago. we had our roof on this house for 17 years (and the roof on their house when they bought it was over 10 years old). THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THE ROOF WHY ARE YOU GETTING A NEW ONE?!?!? And since WHEN did construction workers actually work on a saturday?!?!?!?!?!?!?! UG.

i hate getting up early cuz 1. i’m tired, sorta late night, insomniac, no sleep. 2. I HAVE NOTHING TO DO FOR A BUNCH OF EXTRA HOURS NOW. omg. gonna kill them.

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ug. why on earth does anyone get up at 7 am? why am i up? cuz i’ve been up since probably 4. i was hopped up on mountain dew from work. i hate mountain dew…but i thought the insanely high amounts of caffine might help my headache last night. it didn’t. but kept me awake for a while. but then i did sleep, pretty decently….until ziggy decided to be a bitch. ug she’s so annoying. i’ll be laying on my side and she’ll come stand on my ribs. i finally let her outside and got some food at 7, after trying to sleep with her for a few hours. then of course, can’t fall back asleep. and now there are big construction trucks outside my house. ug. i’m not really tired, but the headache is still lingering and i need to sleep a bit more so it’ll go away. i’ve already popped 4 pills since ziggy woke me up. and you know what else? she snores. SHE’S A CAT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! but she snores.

guess what i’m listening to right now, thanks to the beauty of the internet. michael jackson’s sept 11th tribute song. ha the internet is great. the song isn’t awful, but it’s definitely an invincible era track. it’s no “we are the world” lol

don’t know what to do with myself the rest of the day. i’m going to try to go back to sleep in a bit. oh the construction trucks are leaving, that’s good. ha, the furnace just turned on.

 

i am such a giant dork lol. i watched a show about the challenger on discovery while eating breakfast. how many times have i seen these kinds of shows, yet i get all anxious and my heart starts beating super fast – as if i don’t know the shuttle is going to explode. and then it explodes and i get a perclempt, as if it’s happening right now and i didn’t expect it to blow up. haha *DORK* the show amused me, because it seemed like my dialogue from our 12th grade english paper/video was from the exact same book they used for the documentary. i wish we would have had footage for our video tho – we wouldn’t have had to use legos hehe. anyway…the whole space thing still amazes me. i wanna be an astronaut. i wonder if they’d train a hard rock hostess to be on the next shuttle flight…i should write them a letter and ask haha.

we got more channels on digital cable again. well the ones i noticed are MTVjams (which used to be MTVx the rock channel…as if we need another MTV channel that only plays rap, that’s all they play to begin with) and MTVespanol. MTVen could be interesting lol. they’re channels 157 and 158.

this migrane really wiped me out. i feel all wacko and crappy. it needs to go away before tonight, cuz i’m not wasting tonight cuz i feel all blah. i think i might go to the mall later – something to do. i wish i had more friends around here so i’d have someone to go with. oh well. i need new clothes.

GAH red dragon opens today. maybe i’ll make us go see that tonight. or maybe tomorrow with danielle…that might be better, cuz she prolly wants to see it.

 

1. i definitely do not fit in the bathtub. i tried. cuz i feel blah, i figured i’d take a bath. nope. no possible way. i realize that any adult is not going to be covered by the water in the bathtub, but there was more of me exposed to the air than actually in the water. and it’s less than comfortable to lay against the soap holder.
2. i started to do my hair differently. not like anyone is going to notice, it’s a subtle change. since it’s growing out, and i have more hair on the right side of my head to begin with, i’ve been parting and combing over (sounds like i’m bald lol) the front part of my hair on the right. it’s sorta kelly osbourne-ish but in my own way. gives me some way to do it and have it look decent while it is in this inbetween length stage.
3. i’m starving. i’m going to loose weight this weekend unless someone comes over and cooks for me, or takes me out to eat. and i’m not implying nate. i’m implying anyone LOL. my mom left me some left overs in the fridge, but i hate even reheating stuff lol. last time my parents went away adr came over and bbqed for me every day hehe. that’s a true friend 🙂 ooooh i can redeem my free meal at work on monday. score!!
4. i’m having a good makeup day. lol. and my hair, that i already mentioned.
5. mom called. she told me to be good. hah that’s the closest i got to the whole “nate’s not allowed over while we’re gone” speech. maybe she realized i’m an adult. haha or maybe she just realized there was no use in telling me he’s not allowed over, when common sense would tell you he will be. god, she told me he wasn’t allowed over the first time we went out and they were gone, and what did we do? came here and watched a movie lol. like i’m going to listen to her now.
6. of course now i feel really tired, like i could get in bed and fall asleep. now that my hair is done and i’m dressed etc…
7. like you need to know this, but…the underwear i have on grew. first i thought i lost them (NOT WHAT YOU’RE THINKING :P), but i found them smooshed in the back of the drawer. they’re too big now tho, blah. and my jeans are too big, so i feel all disoriented hahah.
8. i’m driving my dads car today! hehe

 

wow there is really no point in me going to the mall ever. it seriously takes me longer to get there. i think i spent a half hour there today. i bought black and white film tho. so that makes me happy. and i got a student discount hehe. but seriously. i went in a handful of stores, i hate all the clothes, i walk out. i even went in eddie bauer!! they had jackets teehee…but no red leather ones. there was this quilted red jacket, that was sorta cute, but i want my dark red leather one if i can ever find it. spencers had some cool halloween costumes if it turns out anything is going on and i need to dress up. oh, and the candy kiosk that sells canadian import candy had bags of coffee crisp halloween candy!!!! bite sized individually wrapped coffee crisps *heaven* hehe. but i didn’t buy any. i only bought the film. express had this really cool shirt, for an outrageous amount of money, but i only liked half of the shirt. the back was lace up, real old fashion style. but then the sleeves were weird Seinfeld-puffy-shirt like sleeves which ruined the whole shirt. blah. they had a jacket carolyn would love…thigh length beige corduroy, 50% too (so like 50 bucks)…

i really need new clothes, and i’m not going to be able to buy any this season. they are all so putrid looking. barf.

 

well the cold front is here. temp outside has just dropped drastically it seems, and the wind…ug i hate wind.

anyway. i’m so bored. i found this on someone elses blog. honestly. penis size not correlated to shoe size (from yahoo.com)…is there no plural for the word penis? it says “In all, 104 men had their penis measured and had their shoe size recorded”….maybe i’m just not doing grammer properly, but shouldn’t it say “104 men had their penises measured”? or is it like, peni? LOL where is adrienne, she would know, she’s all medical like. or carolyn, the english major.

in my last post, i mentioned the whole underwear too big thing… i’ve lost 10 lbs since i graduated. i don’t think that’s a good thing. i just weighed myself so i could find my body mass index (it’s 17.7….less than 18.5 is underweight, gee i didn’t know i was underweight :P).

 

using dads laptop with the wireless connection. the m button doesnt work very well. i hate laptops. anyway…i think my whole yogurt diet thing is a by product of just being way too stressed when home alone to eat….cuz i tried to eat spaghetti for dinner and it just made me sick. i ate like an 8th of the dish and put it back in the fridge. blah i’m already hungry again. but i cant eat unless i eat yogurt again…we’ll see how much weight i lose by tuesday :-/….

 

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well…i hurt significantly less than i normally would. didn’t sleep that well tho. i used the pillows that were on that bed, and well…they’re not my pillows therefor i can’t sleep. and it was weird sleeping in there, it made me feel like i was a guest at someone’s house. and i can’t sleep at other ppls houses, i wake up alot. which is what i did last night. so tonight i’m going to try it with my own pillows and see how it goes.

parents leave in t minus 6 hours.

finished the godfather. i hate kay adams. she’s such a stupid whiney woman. UR MARRIED TO THE DON, YEAH HE HAS PEOPLE KILLED, GET OVER IT! appolonia was so much better. too bad she exploded lol. the book was great tho. makes me want to watch the movie again. maybe i’ll rent it this weekend. or wait, i bought it for adr for xmas, so i can just borrow it haha.

 

ug. i have such a friggen headache. i feel like my brain is gonna explode through a crack in the side of my head.

work was work. same as always. but i have 4 days next week!! shock of shocks. i guess it’s supposed to be busy because there’s a swinger convention in town…yeah…swingers…like couples who switch partners and stuff…hah should be interesting. oh yeah, i won a free dinner at work cuz i won this “contest” during preshift. me and this kid were volunteered to go back and forth naming everything customers should know about our all access program. and i was able to break the tie between us, so i won. wow. haha

haven’t heard from nate. i thought maybe he’d leave a msg while i was at work. so i dunno what’s going on, and i dunno what time he gets home from work tomorrow. ug. i hate not having plans…lol. tomorrow i have to clean my room and do some laundry. thennn whenever i talk to nate, do something. danielle gets home late tomorrow night, so won’t get to see her til saturday. should be a fantastic weekend. at least i’m hoping. it fucking better be, that’s all i’m saying lol.

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i’m going to kill someone. i hate feeling this way. fucking supersonic hearing, driving me insane. i CANNOT possibly sleep another night in my bed. i need to recover. so i’m going to sleep in the spare bedroom tonight. i just can’t sleep in my bed anymore. so much pain. all i want right now is someone to jam their knee inbetween my shoulder blades and then pull my shoulders back. that’d feel so nice.

no i lie. all i really want is for whoever is continuously scraping a shovel against cement to stop before i go on a murderous rage. i am not kidding. i’m on the verge of screaming. it is one of the most hideous noises i’ve ever heard, and it’s driving me insane. i can’t deal with this sensory overload. omg. i’m freaking out.

 

i don’t have anything to say really.

trent’s studio all borded up for the hurricane.

i decided to start sleeping in the spare bedroom. i hurt too much for my bed, so i’m going to try that bed for a while. it’s usually cooler in that room too. once i recover and my back isn’t killing me i’ll move back to my bed. maybe i’ll actually sleep in that room…since i haven’t been sleeping in mine. the past 3 days didn’t really sleep much, blah.

it’s supposed to rain every day all weekend. guess i’ll be spending lots of time inside.

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up at 8…didn’t sleep til after 3. this is not cool. woken up by the lovely shaking of my bed, again. somewhere, someone is doing construction which is causing the earth to shake. and it’s not the same kind of rolling-sea-like shaking of the earthquake a few months ago. this is just annoying little shakes which cause my bed to move, and things to rattle, every 10 seconds. it could possibly be the most annoying way to be woken up. and it continues to be annoying. i’d like to shoot someone right about now. and i’m in pain – fucking mattress.

i had things to say but i’m way too annoyed right now. it’s my day off and 8 am is too early to be awake when i have nothing to do all day. i really want to go back to bed.

*update* i’ve been out of bed for 15 min and i’m completely bored to death.

 

ROFL i had a dream about ozzy! I was GOLFING with him. it was like a celebrity golf thing, and he was on my team. and i told him how i killed the bird with the golfball, since he’s got the whole biting heads off doves thing…

 

hsbc bank sent me an employment application. actually, 2 of them. i don’t know why. i don’t remember giving them my resume. i don’t even think they were at the job fair. but whatever lol. so i guess i’ll fill those out.

changed up cyndi’s site. it’s tori amos themed now. i think i might redo this site…i know, it seems like i just did it. but i was sorta inspired maybe. we’ll see i guess.

my friend laura in nyc got married on sept 7th. finally saw some pictures. she looked so pretty. and very happy. so i’m glad, cuz i was iffy about the whole thing for a while. it’s so weird – i have a married friend. gah.

i keep forgetting to mention this. we were warned at work about a person who calls the cafes, and pretends they are from the corporate office looking for whoever answers the phone. they say they need to verify personal information such as social security number, and emergency contacts. then the person calls the emergency contact and tells them you’re dead. yeah. how awful. the person hasn’t called us yet, but i did get a prank call yesterday. they asked me if i was good in bed. so of course i told them how fantastic i am. i bet they were jealous they couldn’t come and find out themselves. haha

Posted in: Personal