dream: central terminal had gotten some investor, people who were some kind of mad scientists who wanted part of the building to work on their inventions. a meeting, or press conference was called to introduce them and talk about what they were going to do to fix the building. for some reason, my most hated player douchebag dan was the MC for the night, and a band had been hired to play and everything. it was more like a party to celebrate having an investor than a meeting. because time in dreams makes no sense, suddenly the building was fixed, and everyone was looking around at what these people had done. it didn’t really look like the terminal, and was not set up like it, but it still was. it had been redone all very modern, with stores, and the metro rail running through it. everyone was amazed at how good it looked (even tho in real life people would be pissed it had been changed so much). i was trying to take pictures on my phone but people kept bumping into me and they were all blurry. then suddenly this party was celebrating on a boat, going around the terminal (i guess in dreamland the building was on the water front, or a river). again i was trying to get photos from the boat, but they were all blurry too. i started to make my way off the boat when one of the investors told me they were pulling out of the project. i was like, what?!?! you can’t do that, you’ve already spent 9 million $ on restoration, why on earth would you pull out. he gave me all sorts of excuses about “that’s the way business works” and i’m like, no, this actually doesn’t make any business sense. who would throw around 9 million and then give up? it was almost finished being restored. so i got off the boat and went back to the building to tell the people in charge (none of the real life board members were in charge, or even in the dream). already new businesses had popped up around the building, a high end jewelry shop was one of them. i was betting many of the old houses had been picked up to get flipped. i went back into the “concourse” (it looked more like a super modern mall) and just collapsed, crying on the floor, so absolutely sad that these people were pulling out of the project.



i was giving a tour of the terminal the members of the People’s Temple (jim jones cult). and i was an amazing tour guide. it involved taking a boat to another part of the building, and then getting off directly onto a subway platform where a few were almost hit by a train. there was also a part about bringing someone to stand by a window to look into the concourse, and the whole side of the building tilting in as if it was going to collapse.

there was a lost missile that flew over head slowly, and i watched it crash into a swimming pool. it still exploded i guess, and it sent up a plume of water, and then mushroom cloud. i grabbed my phone to take photos of it, but after it was done, i went to look at the photos to send to WIVB on twitter and none of the photos were there. i was like wtf, where’d my photos go to. what is wrong with this phone? because i totally know that i’m awake and that this really happened.

Mike Miller

so i need to say something about Mike. but i still don’t know what. i’m still mad at him.

this is really the first friend of mine who has died. grand parents get old, they die, it’s sad but…that’s the circle of life. this isn’t. mike was a very good friend, one of those people you can say anything to and who won’t judge you for it. he was a great listener when i wanted to bitch about the CTRC (or anything else). we started at the CTRC together, and tho I left the board, I was still around and I always thought we would see the end of it together. when i told him i wanted to leave the board he said, i hope we can still be friends, as if being on the board or not would change that. he took care of everyone else, but not himself as we’ve sadly found out.

the wake and service was immensely sad. every time another volunteer came in, the crying started again. larry had an idea of putting one of our CTRC wine glasses into the casket with him, but suggested that i do it because i was closest to him. mike is being cremated and entombed with his father in charleston (i think), but i still think at least a pinch should be left at the building.

if anyone was going to haunt the terminal it would be russell and mike, and they’re probably arguing…russell getting angry and mike staying nice and calm, even if he was mad.


RIP Russell

Russell Pawlak passed away last night from cancer, at 59. Russell is the major reason that I ever got involved with the Central Terminal Restoration Corporation.

I attended the first public tour in 2003, with my fathers photos in hand, and stood at the gate trying to see in the lobby. Russell said to me, “don’t worry, we’ll go inside”. I’d like to say that I stayed on the tour and listened with awe to every word Russell said but I admit I did not, and once inside I separated myself from the tour (to be quickly followed by Brian who saw me upstairs ha) to see what else there was to see besides the concourse. Russell didn’t have a lot of control over that first group, and the tour went much longer than he probably anticipated, especially when the owner of Duch’s decided to take everyone up to the 4th floor roof.

At some point during the tour I showed Russell the photos and he wanted copies of them. We made arrangements for that, and then I attended every public tour that year…and the public meeting at Mickey’s…and I volunteered to do the website…and I flew to Chicago with Leighanne to find the clock…and asked the Buffalo Science Museum to find the original buffalo in their storage rooms…and Russell asked me to be a board member in February 2004.

Russell’s passion was infectious. Anyone who met him understands. As good as our tour guides may be now, it’s not quite like how Russell was. He was inspiring and he really made you believe that this huge insurmountable task was completely do-able. If someone else had been tour guide that day, I’d never have been part of the CTRC for the last 6 years. He may have made me want to quit a number of times, but in the end, he made me want to stay even more. I sincerely wish he could be around to see what happens.


vacation week.

started with 5 days in a row at the terminal, as my last hurrah of sorts. wed night to meet a caterer. thurs night board meeting, then the TAPS ghost hunt on Fri and Sat, and finally our own ghost hunt Sunday. the weekend was pretty fun, and we made some money. they started with a meet and greet for the people who bought tickets, and then went into a lecture by John Zaffa, a demonologist, which was…interesting. a bunch of stuff about exorcisms etc. jason and grant followed that with their own presentation/lecture, and some video from some of their shows and other non tv investigations. once it got dark, about 9pm they broke into groups and the rest of the night was the actual hunt. friday night i got a psychic reading done on para-x radio haha. interesting and mostly bull, of course. saturday night was much the same, only i didn’t stay the whole time cuz i was tired and bored. sunday was without celebs, and 200$ cheaper hahaha. we had about 40 people and WNY Ghost Hunters brought in some people to speak, and then at dark again, broke into much much smaller groups to investigate the floors. i don’t really think the terminal is haunted, but they’ve been finding some interesting things. someone on the hunt got a pretty impressive EVP in fedele’s apartment.

anyway. it was a good weekend for us, and technically my last one for a long while. i don’t want to see that place again for months haha

so today i left for a real vacation for the last 4 days i have off. i ended up deciding on braddock pa, trans allegany asylum and west virginia penn in WV. turns out david was going to be in wv with his gf at the same time, and decided to meet me in braddock.

well…braddock was not what i was expecting 1. it is way close to pittsburgh and i pictured it farther out, sorta middle of nowhere mountains. 2. it is bigger than i thought it would be. i was expecting a main street and then houses spread out over several other streets. instead it was crowded with buildings (yes mostly empty, especially main street) 3. since it was crowded with buildings, and most of them were houses, there wasn’t anything to really photograph. 4. they still have a US Steel mill?!!? i don’t quite understand what this city’s problem is. i thought they were ruined and the population had left because industry had left, but they have a big steel plant and a large hospital and it is very close to pittsburgh. i don’t get it. it’s also right next to rankine, which i didn’t realize til i was driving and suddenly realized i had been there before, with dan 2 years ago haha. so i met up with david in braddock and we drove around a bit, but then left to some places he knew of in nearby mckeesport. visited an old hotel, steel fabricator (i think) factory and a church. so it ended up being successful. i then followed him down into WV and am now spending the night in morganstown.

tomorrow is weston and trans allegany lunatic asylum. woo. i’m excited tho i hear the tour goes way too fast for good photo taking, but i suppose i can always take the tour twice đŸ™‚

CTRC Award dinner

last night the CTRC received the 2008 Niederlander Award for outstanding cultural programming from the Buffalo and Erie County Historical Society. so 5 of us went to the awards dinner at the museum. i was mike’s date, so i didn’t have to pay $150 to go haha. the dinner was in the…lobby i guess…of the building with a bar on the back porch. it was nice, even if i had to dress up and wear heals etc. it was sorta funny though, before dinner mike and i were talking about how we can’t eat ugly food like seafood, and chicken on the bone etc, and then they serve us dinner…chicken on a bone. we just looked at each other. how appropriate. but it was really tasty, and easy to eat, thankfully. mike accepted the award and had to give a little speech. no big deal.

the museum has a neat exhibit on presidential campaigns, with artifacts like pins, ribbons, etc that they used to advertise just like now. there were some great womens suffrage pins on display. they should make reproductions, i’d buy them.

which reminds me i’m still waiting on my obama pins from moveon. i actually paid for them, didn’t just mooch them for free, but they haven’t arrived. my mom who mooched got hers, and i mooched a sticker and got that, but not the pins i paid for….arg. they keep emailing me asking if i got them and i keep telling them no. the election will be over by the time they arrive.

my couch arrived yesterday so i can get the living room more settled and decorated. i hate the green walls but am really too lazy to paint. i feel that none of my wall art goes good with it, or goes good with anything in the house anywhere. it just doesn’t feel right to hang things from abandoned buildings on these walls.

ghost hunters @ bct

ghost hunters tonight…oh man so amusing, especially the set up. i guess they needed a reason to be there, when we didn’t exactly call them hahahaha. the building looks great, i definitely think it’ll generate some interest, who knows if it’s going to be helpful or not. tracy, james, and adam were great even if adam made his story up. loved the graffiti comment. the black widows were unnecessary for sure.

choke, the movie, opens tomorrow and is actually playing in buffalo. tho the book wasn’t my fav, i need to see the movie. i may actually have to go to the theatre!!! omg! who is coming with me?

so cool!!

I’m not sure I’m allowed to say anything about this yet, so i’m f-locking it… mike posted it on our blog ha taken off the blog now, back to flock

The Sci Fi channel show Ghost Hunters is filming an episode at the terminal next week! HOW COOL IS THAT?! I don’t think it’s haunted, and the only one I know who “experienced” anything is James, but..SO COOL.


in all of yesterday’s drama i forgot to mention….

i don’t know the whole story yet, but we got a semi-anonymous donation of one of Central Terminal’s light fixtures…it has no glass, but…!!!  instead of 3 panels, there are only 2, and the top is a triangle. i can’t find any pictures that show where it might have been though…i’ll have to look around the building…maybe waiting room?


i have to testify in court on march 7th on behalf of the CTRC in the case against the grafitti artists who were caught on property in November. this should be interesting. and lucky me it’s at 9:30 am. at least I’m off on thursday (tho it’s EC concert).

and my eye is twitching and driving me absolutely insane. what does that mean? it means i’m stressed out. stop it!