Las Vegas and NIN #55

We picked our random vacation week then Trent announced shows in Las Vegas at the same time, so decision made. We stayed at The Plaza because I wanted to be able to go to a nice pool, since it was going to be sweltering, and they have a new rooftop pool area. Adam decided to go to the show too after I bought my tickets, so he joined us after a few days.

As soon as we got there, off to Drag Brunch at Treasure Island. There were 6 queens, all past RuPaul’s Drag Race alumns, it was awesome. And there were bottomless mimosas, so we drank 3 bottles of champagne with the (not great) breakfast buffet. That didn’t end well for me, but the show was awesome, and though I lost the rest of the day, it was worth it lol.

Monday we made plans to meet up with Adr1 and Tom and the kids. We were going to try to do some trivia but there wasn’t really any going on so we met up to check out the Container Park, then went up near their house to a pizza place for dinner who was having music bingo. Tom didn’t feel well so he left us there, and we ate and played for a bit. It was fun, even though it wasn’t trivia really because you could use your phone to look up the songs if you didn’t know them.

Adam arrived Tuesday morning, we hung at the pool a bit and Adr joined me with the kids. So we had a good time in the water, and chatting, and Adr said the nicest thing ever – that I’m still her favorite person to do nothing with LOL awwww. <3 She needs to move back to Buffalo! Tuesday night we ended up checking out the High Roller giant ferris wheel on the strip, which was pretty neat. Wednesday was the show. Honestly, I wasn't all that excited about it because I really don't care for the EPs, but I told Adam that I would try not to be an asshole about it lol. He had VIP and went down early, plus I had no interest in queueing. I've gotten too old for this shit. Plus the lack of excitement, I didn't feel the need to be up front. BUT, it's still Trent and I still love him. The line was insanely long when we finally did get there, but we didn't end up with a bad spot. Pretty central in all ways, and other than the guy who didn't put his arms down, filming the entire show on his phone, I could see decently. I hate that I have to admit this. Maybe I've aged out of NIN shows? Don't get me wrong, it was still good, but I don't get any of the catharsis, or really any of the energy I used to get from the shows. Is it because I'm not up front? Have I just seen too many that they've lost their effect? I am pretty tired of seeing March of the Pigs after all. It makes me sad though. The setlist was pretty good, Year Zero heavy up front, not too many new songs, and some deep cuts that were very welcome. But as J said, the middle got a little boring with The Lovers and Find My Way back to back (he was probably bored with Even Deeper too, but NO!!! I will always take Even Deeper as a slow song!) And BONUS!!! NO HURT!!! And no Closer, which I do always enjoy, but it's ok. 1. Pinion / The Eater of Dreams 2. Metal 3. Me, I'm Not 4. The Beginning Of The End 5. Survivalism 6. March of the Pigs 7. The Lovers 8. Find My Way 9. Burn 10. God Break Down the Door 11. Letting You 12. Gave Up 13. Even Deeper 14. I Do Not Want This 15. I'm Afraid Of Americans 16. Less Than 17. Came Back Haunted 18. Only 19. Wish 20. Head Like A Hole was good. But I just don't get the emotional benefit that I used to, so...I am very unlikely to travel to see him anymore (unless he puts out something I love, or does some kind of very unusual out of left field tour, like an all acoustic tour or something), and if he continues to do stupid things like "you can only buy tickets in person" crap, this may have been my last show. 55 is a good number to stop on. Now this brings me to his new EP, Bad Witch. I haaaate it. And if I'm honest, I basically hate the other 2 EPs as well, though there are a few tracks I like here and there. But everything I liked about NIN is gone. Trent's brilliance was in his ability to craft a song that could be loud, angry, noisy and heavy but still have a musicality to it, with a catchy hook and a melody. It's all gone. If he wants to experiment fine, go for it, but it is not what you expect and want from NIN. Even though I didn't love Hesitation Marks, it had solid actual songs, and not just movie scores for a non existent movie that he decided to put lyrics to. Because that's what it feels like. And I hate it. And I'm not going to listen to it.

Top Ten Teen-years Albums

This was floating around facebook the last few days.

List 10 albums that made a lasting impression on you as a TEENAGER, but only one per band/artist. In approximate chronological order of when I found them.

1. Aerosmith – Get a Grip (1993) – I wasn’t sure this fell into my teen years, until I looked up the release date, and saw that it had to. This is the first CD I remember wanting to buy on my own. My clique of friends all had it, and we were scandalized that there were nipple prints on the CD.
2. Salt n Pepa – Very Necessary (1993) – I loved this record, I listened to it a ton with headphones when I got my first portable CD player, in my room, doing my homework, even though I had a perfectly working stereo. Thinking of this record got “None Of Your Business” in my head last night. Awesome.
3. Stone Temple Pilots – Purple (1994) – While I still don’t really think of them as “grunge”, I guess this is the first grunge cd I loved and listened to all the time (I owned Pearl Jam’s “Ten” but never listened to it).
4. REM – Monster (1994) – I listened to this, and the STP record, all the time when I was playing my Super Nintendo. In retrospect I’m not really sure why I liked this record, but at the time it was great.
5. The Cranberries – No Need To Argue (1994) – Zombie still is a fantastic song. The rest is a bit mellow, but it holds up.
6. Elastica – Elastica (1995) – I heard the song “Connection” while hanging out in Media Play and bought the CD. I remember writing song lyrics on the desk in study hall, only to see that someone had written the next line after. Turns out that someone was Marney.
7. Michael Jackson – HIStory (1995) – 2 records have changed my life. This was the first. It led me to travel, spend a lot of money, and most importantly, led me to meet some of the best friends who I still have to this day. Awww.
8. U2 – Achtung Baby (1991) – Not discovered until I was at Geneseo, and not appreciated upon first listens, when I listened to it months later, it’s brilliance blinded me. So amazing.
9. Nine Inch Nails – The Fragile (1999) – The 2nd life changing record. Even if it took 6 years for it to make a huge impact as far as leading me to travel and meet great people, this was an emotionally impactful record. I really don’t know what my life would be like if I had never fallen down the NIN-hole.
10. Orgy – Candyass (1998) – Orgy was the first band I met, and was the band responsible for getting me into seeing concerts, and following tours, and trying to meet bands and get autographs. They were fun, and super cute, yay boys in makeup.

nine inch nails, toronto, 7-27-14

My 200th concert and 54th nine inch nails show. Headed up to Toronto with Jason, Eric and Adam. Adrienne and Bliss were able to go too (it was touch and go for a bit) but drove themselves, and due to the crappy insane parking situation we never ended up finding each other. So yeah, an hour on the bridge, mild traffic up to Toronto, I made the call to exit at Lake Shore and go up the lake instead of into Toronto on the Gardner, where it was backed up quite a bit. It was the right call, we got to the area of Molson Ampitheater fairly quickly, but that’s where it ended. Construction limited parking, so while we usually would just park in the lots directly in front of the venue, they were somewhat filled or VIP only. We pulled into a lot, paid $20, to find out there were no spots. By this point it’s been almost 4 hours since we left the house, we already missed the first opener (no one was crying about that), but Soundgarden was going on at 8 and we were fast approaching 8pm. I kicked everyone out of the car so they wouldn’t miss anything and went on to find parking in a ramp far away haha.

So I got into the venue during Black Hole Sun, which is really the only Soundgarden song I’m super familiar with. I can’t really judge if they were good or not because of my lack of familiarity but Eric said Chris Cornell sounded good so I’ll take his word for it. They don’t put on much of a “show” it’s just a straight performance of rock songs.

I was a bit more excited for this show than for the October show because Trent had said this tour would be more Fragile and Year Zero heavy. When he said Fragile heavy, he meant “no songs from the Fragile”….yeah. So there was that. Since this was a dual headlining tour, it was a short 18 song setlist, and sort of a “Greatest Hits” set with the return of “closer” and only 3 songs from Hesitation Marks. There were a few songs from Year Zero that we didn’t hear since Lights in the Sky tour in 08, so that was nice. The stage set up was very minimal compared to the last 2 tours, with the giant moving screens and what not. This time they relied on large squares of lights/screens that techs moved around behind the band. Jason’s opinion of this show, not being a fan, was that there was less to look at, and he’s right. Nothing wrong with that though, as I feel like trent was beginning to rely too heavily on light show effects.

The only song played that was new to me was a very heavily remixed version of “sanctify”, which was cool to finally see.

I’m a bit sad that I don’t have that much to say about it. I don’t know if it’s the getting older thing, or the 50+ show thing, but the large shows just aren’t as appealing to me anymore. I am not sad that I’m only going to 1 show this tour, where as 5 years ago it would have been a tragedy to only see one. The entire venue was seats, there was no GA pit, so we were in the 200 section, slight left of the sound board. Seats aren’t exciting. I told everyone, I may not ever want to queue again for entire days to see shows and be up front, but I still never want a seat…even if I stand in the back of the crowd on the floor, I want to be GA… it’s just not the same in a seat. I hope he ends up doing club shows again, which I would queue for, because they just feel so much better and more exciting, plus the potential for different setlists.

(missed the first 4.5 songs)
Searching With My Good Eye Closed
Black Hole Sun
Jesus Christ Pose
The Day I Tried to Live
My Wave
Blow Up the Outside World
Fell on Black Days
A Thousand Days Before
Rusty Cage
Beyond the Wheel

Nine Inch Nails:
“Copy Of A”
“Came Back Haunted”
“March Of The Pigs”
“Terrible Lie”
“Gave Up”
“The Warning”
“Find My Way”
“The Great Destroyer”
“The Hand That Feeds”
“Head Like A Hole”

Shows 52 and 53 – NIN in Toronto and Cleveland

So while other people took Trent’s “retirement” from NIN seriously, I always said “give him 5 years, he’ll be bored, he’ll be back”….so I was wrong, it only took 4 years, but here he is again. Hesitation Marks has really never grown on me, I feel like I’ve given it ample time and several tries, and I just don’t like it. So that being said, 2 shows supporting an album I don’t like, they’re not going to end up on my “favourites” list. But, it IS Trent Reznor we’re talking about here, and it’s impossible for him to disappoint.

So the shows brought Adam into town, and I was making Jason go to his first with me (ok so “making” isn’t the right word, he said he wanted to go, and I tried to warn him about what it meant to go to a nin show with me, and he said he got it but then…i don’t think he really “got” it hahaha cuz he hated queuing all day even though we didn’t get there til noon which is fairly “late” for us, and he hated waiting around for the crappy opener, etc etc etc). We were 20th in line, which was really far up for arriving at noon for a Toronto show. We tried to prepare Jason for what the crowd would be like, to protect his head/hat/glasses if security is in front of us for a crowd surfer, to hold onto the rail and not let go, etc then we ended up not getting touched. We got a tiny bit of jostling with March of the Pigs and Wish, and that was it. It was the most ridiculously tame GA show I’ve ever been to of any band in Toronto. U2 was worse than this LOL. So after all that prep for Jason, I felt almost embarrassed that the experience didn’t live up to the hype LOL. Though I’m pretty sure he’s ok with it haha

The show itself. Like I said, it’s Trent, it’s going to be impressive and awesome. And it was. We were at the rail in front of Robin and the new backup singers when they were on stage. The light show was along similar lines to Lights in the Sky tour, with 2 curved light screens that moved up and down. There were moving sets of lights above each band member and other areas of the stage, that had 9 sets of lights of 9 in them, that could rotate and spin and created some nice effects. Being up front you miss a lot of the light effects, so the 2nd night I spent “mid-ice” in Cleveland it was cool to see. Since the tour is supporting the new album, he played 9 new songs….too much, and they were grouped badly, with a chunk of 5 of them in the middle of the set. I hate when bands do that. I know you’re going to play new stuff, doesn’t matter if I like it or not, but spread it out, intersperse it with old familiar stuff. Ugh. So, to me, it got sorta boring. I’m happy he played the 2 songs I like from the album, but Disappointed, Find My Way and Running are too long, and fairly boring. And while the new songs did sound better live than on the record (live drums!!!), just like The Slip, I still don’t like them. The argument for the grouping of all new songs, is that they feature his new female backup singers, so perform them all together and keep them on stage…as if they can’t walk back and forth on and off the stage? Whatever. But the singers. It was a bit weird the first show, at times I couldn’t hear them that well, so I couldn’t really tell if they “worked” or not, but being mid-ice for Cleveland and I could hear them better, they do add something different to the old songs, and are fairly necessary for the new ones. I approve. I hope for a good bootleg recording that I can hear them well on.

Of course the show highlights for me will be the old songs, but in particular, Somewhat Damaged. Dear lord that song. Suddenly it makes me emotional and teary, but holy crap it’s so good. Adam said he liked it mid-set instead of as an opener, and I’m not sure I agree, but who cares, it’s amazing and I’m just glad they kept it in the set. Survivalism was too loud and distorted when we were up close, better when I was at mid-ice. In This Twilight was not mixed right either, too loud, or the bass too strong or something. Wish had some amazing lights at the end, reminiscent of the spinning lights during U2’s “Streets” on Elevation tour. In Cleveland they switched out Various Methods of Escape for Piggy and Only for Burn, and the lights on Burn were the best I’ve seen from all the shows I’ve seen that song played at. While I’m Still Here is yet another new song I find a bit boring, but it builds and goes into the instrumental Black Noise, which was pretty overwhelming and awesome.

So overall the show was good, Trent can’t be bad, but to be honest I’m glad the tickets ended up being as expensive as they were which prevented me from going berzerk and going to every show I could. Because I’d be a bit bummed if I had to go to more shows where I had to wait out that mid set of new tracks and not hear other songs that I want. If I hadn’t liked With Teeth I wouldn’t have wanted to go to 20 shows from that tour, but it was an easy decision that time since the album was out long before tickets went on sale, unlike this time. Same thing with Year Zero, and Ghosts and even The Slip. I knew I liked those records and wanted to see those songs live, so I knew to buy as many tickets as I could. So I’m ok with my decision to not go to Detroit and Pittsburgh this tour.

And I’m really completely over the queuing and waiting at the rail, suffering through openers etc. It’s just not as fun for me as it was before, and I’m totally happy and can enjoy the show from farther back, with space, and less annoyances.

So Jason said he liked the show, and I hope he’s being honest. I know it’s not his style, I didn’t think it would convert him into being a fan who’d want to listen to nin all the time. But I wanted him to be blown away and I don’t get that impression from his response. I wanted him to experience it because it’s such a big part of who I am.

In Cleveland, Adam and I got to catch up a bit with Matt who we had met at the Wave Goodbye shows in Chicago, which was nice. In general there were only 3 or 4 other people we recognized from previous tours. We had wondered who’d still be doing the travel thing. Not as many as we thought, in the end. It was an enjoyable few days, got to spend time with friends, and see some great music. Time to relax now.

Toronto Setlist:

Copy of A
Terrible Lie
March of the Pigs
The Frail
The Wretched
All Time Low (With barely a snippet of “Closer”)
Came Back Haunted
Find My Way
Various Methods of Escape
Into the Void
A Warm Place
Somewhat Damaged
The Hand That Feeds
Head Like a Hole

Even Deeper
In This Twilight
While I’m Still Here
Black Noise (Not listed on the setlist)

Cleveland setlist:

Copy of A
Terrible Lie
March of the Pigs
All Time Low
Came Back Haunted
Find My Way
The Frail
The Wretched
Into the Void
A Warm Place
Somewhat Damaged
The Hand That Feeds
Head Like a Hole

Even Deeper
In This Twilight
While I’m Still Here
Black Noise

Hesitation Marks Review

It came in the mail today so now I’m allowed to listen. I really don’t know what to say.

the eater of dreams – instrumental to start the record.

copy of a – not bad, but having heard came back haunted, it’s very very similar.

came back haunted – first listen when it was released i was like….*crickets* jason asked “was that the dance remix?” no, no it wasn’t. but i listened on repeat one day and it grew on me. it’s ok.

find my way – initially makes me think of beside you in time, or something from the end of With Teeth. and first How To Destroy Angels EP. it’s sorta boring.

all time low – i liked this one at first listen. it’s got a groove to it. a dance vibe that isn’t based on a boring drum machine, more like the vibe from god given. trent should do a funk record lol. this might end up being my fav on the album.

disappointed – moooore drum machine. yay. not. under the covers sounding vocals like right where you belong. guitar like The Slip. i think he needs to get rid of that effect pedal along with the drum machine (see below). builds into a chorus that again is similar to came back haunted.

everything – i wish someone was here listening with me so they could see my face. brows furrowed, wtf is this? it doesn’t sound like any other nin song and it doesn’t fit the vibe of the album. and trent needs to throw out that drum machine that he bought before The Slip cuz i hate it. and i will probably hate this song. (listening a 2nd time, immediate thought, WTF! i feel like it’s a joke or something.) for one second it sounds like some band (i can’t think of), then the guitar has this 80s vibe to it, then the backing vocals are just…w.t.f. then guitars like getting smaller. and it’s so loud, nothing on this record is loud except this song. then everything stops. then 80s guitar again.

satellite – i like it, but it reminds me of something from the first How To Destroy Angels EP…BBB maybe? yes.

various methods of escape – i like the chorus. i like it. nothing else to say. (yeah, definitely like it)

running – druuummm machine, african feel?…repetitive and…meh. dare i say cliche? as a 33 year old with no angst do i just not relate anymore?

i would for you – and more drum machine. “ballad” of the album? “love song”? nice transition into the next song. with teeth era sound.

in two – he has an affinity to writing songs with only a few words per line. i don’t know that i like it. or rather, i don’t dislike it, but it’s being used too much. i think i’ll end up liking this one. there is some noise in it at the end that i can’t figure out if it’s in the song or my speakers messing up…thinking it is my speakers, cuz copy of a has it too.

while i’m still here – drum machine makes me think of Zero Sum. random saxophone all of a sudden. weird.

black noise – instrumental to close. i was waiting for it to start, but it transitioned so smoothly from the previous song, i don’t actually know what this exact song was lol.

i didn’t listen to the remixes, don’t know that i ever will.

Definitely not your “typical” nin record, but then again, what does that even mean? Every album sounded different from it’s predecessor and none really repeat the sound of any previous one. The comparisons of this to Pretty Hate Machine must be based on the extensive (overuse?) of drum machines instead of live drums (I think only one song credits Ilan Rubin for “live drums”. Lots of “percussion” and “electronics” credits instead.) And the reason I’m not into electronic music is that I find drum machines and electronics to be so repetitive that it gets boring. Please throw out that drum machine! I may like it better than The Slip, but “best album since The Fragile” as someone proclaimed on the nin hotline….it certainly is not.

i have my nin records in mp3s on 2 cds for my car. the 1st is PHM through Year Zero, plus a folder of bsides and stuff. the 2nd disc is ghosts, yz remix, the slip, and this. guess which one is going to continue to get the most play?


dream: for some unknown reason i was watching a tv special featuring 50cent. i can’t remember what songs he was playing, but i thought, these aren’t so bad. (tho i don’t remember the songs, i do know that they were not his own songs in real life). then he started a song and i thought, this sounds like “discipline”, and turns out it was…and trent was singing it as a special guest on 50cent’s special. he was playing a piano while singing, and doing like flips on it. very flamboyant like jerry lee lewis. i called adr2 because she never gets my text messages, and she actually answered. she didn’t say anything right away though and i could hear discipline through the phone so i knew she already had it on.



was at a nin show. on the floor but it was all seats, and at first amira was sitting next to me, but later that became sarah. adr2 and bliss were down the row a bit. it was a very strange show. only remember bits and pieces of it. the band kept changing, first i don’t know who was on stage, but then it changed and robin took over on guitar, and the other members changed too. then they started playing mr self destruct with all these “guests” on stage….like ali returned to do vocals on the song, but i was thinking the stage wasn’t set up the way it should be if ali was there for that song, with him actually up front on guitar and playing. and then trent wasn’t even there anymore, ali was just going to sing. then 2 girls who were on the large side, both wearing matching red and white striped shirts were on stage to sing. then the band changed again and robin was leaving, it was supposed to be the WT version of the band taking over but i really didn’t see it as being aaron and twiggy i was just sad robin was leaving. and this whole time everyone is sitting in the seats, and i’m like why aren’t we all rocking out, but the songs were all so weird and not right. then a video was playing and none of the band was on stage, and it made no sense and i asked sarah if this was supposed to be some lame showcase of fan made videos, and she didn’t know. then it seemed to be a giant ad for something, but it was weird and i thought maybe it was somehow related to year zero. then it showed a girl in a car and the light outside the car was all really bright, so we expected “the presence” to show up. the end.



cassie and i and someone else were depressed and mad at trent reznor for some reason, and this other person (a guy) decided we were going to blow up trent’s apartment. so we got in somehow, and he set up bombs in trent’s wine cellar. the bombs were set up through the corks of each bottle. everything was set up and the timer was set, when cassie found some sort of information that said we shouldn’t be mad at trent and we decided to call off the bombing. we ran into the cellar to get the guy to shut the bomb off, which he was trying to do but it wasn’t working. the way the bombs were in the corks it caused the bottles to spray out wine as the countdown got closer to 0, so we’re running around the cellar trying to get the bombs to turn off, getting covered in wine as if it was coming out of a sprinkler system. he couldn’t get the bombs off and they exploded. it didn’t ruin the place tho, we ended up in the living room because we were stuck inside, no way out. we were stuck, and the cops were going to come and we were going to get caught, so we figured might as well drink…cuz trent’s apartment was apparently set up like a liquor store with racks of all kinds of booze, so we decided to drink some from every bottle of rum there was. we tried to figure out ways to escape the apartment, but i didn’t think the windows opened, plus it was a long drop to the ground. looking out the window we saw someone escaping out a window across the street, i thought at first that it was mark zuckerberg, but it was michael cera. then we saw 4 other people escaping out windows, and down poles and gutters. cassie figured out the window did open, but it was still a big drop down. then magically there was a ladder onto a fire escape, except that once you opened the window and went on the fire escape, it automatically called 911. we decided to go anyway, and started running to escape from the cops. ended up in a parking ramp, where either we had a car already or we were going to steal one. but we had to pay for parking first, only problem was we had never gotten a ticket so we didn’t know how much. then i saw a sign that said to pay whatever you wanted, $2, $4, $6, so i paid 2 in the machine, but then we couldn’t find the car cuz we were on level 3 but the car was supposed to be on level 19 (something about leaving the car on the top level because that’s how we got into trent’s apt). the end.

woke up from it at 5am and had to txt cassie about it right away before i forgot it.


dream: was at a nin show, my last one (tho not in chicago like real life), and trent was closing with “The fragile”….except that half way through the song he just decided that was enough, and stopped got up, and walked off the stage. from my vantage point i could see him go back stage, knock on a door, and then walk away. and i was really upset, on the verge of tears, that he didn’t finish the song. adr2 and cassie were with me, and we were all like wtf, why didn’t he finish the song. no one threw anything at him like when he walked off during “hurt” in 06, and there was no obvious reason as to why he stopped. this upset me so so very much, because it was my last show, and the closing song, and it couldn’t have been any more appropriate than to be “the fragile”. days later, i was still upset about it, so much so that i told them i was going to have to join twitter, because it was the only way to get trent’s attention to ask him why he didn’t finish the song, and to let him know how mad i was about it.

memories of 5 years touring….1 year later

a year ago today was my last nine inch nails show. having met a new nin-friend at work, i’ve been thinking and talking about nin alot lately, and i thought i should get my favourite memories down somewhere. 51 shows later, here’s what i remember…


fragility toronto – i wish i could remember more about this show, but it WAS 10 years ago…it was the most beautiful stage show ever. perfect visuals, great setlist, and i remember trent coming on stage and thinking this was the most beautiful man in the world. black lipstick all over his face and everything 🙂


reno – i invited a virtual stranger to go across the country with me to see our favourite band. and she turned into one of my best friends ever. we had amazing line conversations with awesome people, and “new” guitarist aaron north walked by us with a pizza and we didn’t know who he was. too hyped up to go to bed we drove around reno and got lost in the never ending suburb from hell LOL.

toronto club shows 1 & 2 – still top my list as the best shows i’ve seen. everything about them, from having to get back in line cuz i had the wrong ticket, but still getting to the rail, the crush, the heat, the injuries, being at a 45 degree angle but still not falling down…it was what nin shows should be. only days after With Teeth was released, everyone knew the words, club shows mean true fans in attendance. adrienne2 got hit in the head with a tambourine, and we didn’t see any tambourines again until much later in the year haha

philadelphia club shows 1 & 2 – after the first 2 club shows, we couldn’t NOT go to philly. scalped tickets on ebay, drove to the show. too injured from the week before we rocked out at the soundboard both nights. people stared as we were the only ones who knew the lyrics to “home”. amazing aftershow conversation about why the band ended the set early, to go to see the new star wars (which turned out to be true!), and a 2 hour search for a hotel room (not fun!). and a trent freakout because his guitar stopped working (“something’s gonna get broken!!”)

philly/wilkes-barre – en route after the philly show to wilkes-barre for the next show, we accidentally left bliss at the gas station. good thing we were only driving across the parking lot to the convenience store! adr2 and bliss met cassie and beth, who became line buddies the following spring.

toronto – everyone assumed this was our last show. trent wasn’t known for touring for years anymore. we joked around that we had to go to all the shows we could, because it would be another 5 years before trent put out another album, and by then i’d be 30 and who knows where i’d be (LOL!)…little did we know.

san luis obispo – yes i flew across country, spent more time en route than actually IN california, huge delays in Dallas/Ft Worth because it “snowed”, and missing my connection, greaaaat… but a spur of the moment “club” show, couldn’t miss it. again, assumed it to be my last show.


cincinatti – what else is there to be said about this show except adrienne2 caught aaron’s guitar. 🙂

erie – pilgrimage to Mercer! met sarah for the first time, though we didn’t really know it, and it was the only show i got pulled from the crowd.

rochester – i know that the only people who believe me when i say this are adrienne1, adrienne2, amira, cassie and maybe eric….but…trent played this show TO us. the only show where all of us were at the rail directly in front of trent. the whole show he gave us so much attention, including my one and only “piggy” moment. trent came off the stage directly to me, grabbed my hand and for the rest of the song i had my face smooshed up against his stomach. i was not complaining. “the wretched” was a highlight, and then of course “everyday is exactly the same”, trent came to the edge of the stage and threw the tambourine directly to me. not lying or exaggerating, it was not even a throw, it was a lob, right to me. there was no way anyone else could have even tried to get it, it was that direct to me. adr2 threw me over the rail so i wouldn’t get beat up and the guard looked completely confused as to why i’d want to leave. amazing. top of the list of shows for sure.

las vegas – again, supposed to be my last show.

summer ampitheatres – too hot, too much driving, great setlists. the smallest pit ever in saratoga, and my birthday show in columbus.


flying to europe, sitting in JFK with alex watching “beside you in time” on my laptop. awesome.

london – “year zero” listening party complete with tea and crumpets. getting the first half of The Downward Spiral in order. awesome awesome setlists with songs i never thought i’d hear.

brussels – at my 33rd show i finally met trent reznor. the “spiral line” was invited into the venue for sound check followed by a meet and greet. nervous as hell i managed not to throw up on trent, actually speak to him, and get a hug. i do admit tho i had to go to the bar next door after and do some shots hahaha.


strangely i don’t have alot of memories about the Lights In The Sky tour…

toledo – the show was in a convention center, and all the stage equipment didn’t fit so we got a slightly different show than the others of the tour.

atlantic city – another club show? hell yes. i refunded my ticket to the rescheduled worchester ma show to be able to go to atlantic city, and i had to go by myself but a stripped down small show is always worth it. while we didn’t get anything strange or acoustic like people were expecting, we did get special guest Peter Murphy on “reptile”, and during the course of the show Trent’s security dude stuck a tambourine in my hand for no reason LOL i asked him about it in hamilton, and he said people were fighting for it when trent threw it, so he took it away from them and decided to give it to someone he had seen before.


toronto (again) – a duck ate my muffin. i finally got to see “the fragile” live, which was more than appropriate for ending my nin touring. this was my last show

except it wasn’t – pittsburgh – last minute decision to get lawn seats, which we found out we could upgrade once we got in for $10, score. really, my last show.

except it still wasn’t – trent unhappy with his last shows being during the day light as an opener for jane’s addiction (DUH!!!!!!!) he added a series of “wave goodbye” club shows. i tried to get tickets for NYC, the bowery being a 400 person club, but i had to settle for Chicago. still pretty awesome. invited Sarah to go along with me. she fiiiiiinallly got to see “the wretched” so it was all worth it. super long sets, with special guest Peter Murphy (again) which I could have done without. still pissed off about how badly he screwed up “reptile” since it’s the last time i’ll ever see it. really, seriously, my last 2 shows.

so like some nin fans, i can’t say that he “saved my life” as i was never holding the proverbial gun to my head, but he certainly changed it. i’ve met some of my best friends ever in the queue, i’ve traveled places i never would have, had amazing conversations and had some seriously good times. there is no where else i feel as at home, and as much “myself” as at a show with other people who “get it”. some people think i’m nuts to have gone to so many shows, and sometimes i agree, but in the end there is nothing else i would have rather done.