march 13, 2002
just realized how very Fight Club-esque the NIN song “The becoming” is….and i know chuck listened to alot of nin during some writing of a novel. i think he said he listened to Fixed on repeat while writing choke, but i could be wrong, and it could have been fight club. either way, i know chuck is a nin fan, and the lyrics of this song are soooo FC like. omg reading the lyrics, could they BE anymore FCesque?
I beat my machine it’s a part of me it’s inside of me
I’m stuck in this dream it’s changing me I am becoming
(hello…right there…jack beats himself up….suffering from insomnia, becoming tyler)
The me the you know he had some second thoughts
He’s covered with scabs he is broken and sore
(i laff at how similar this song is to FC…jack’s old life as the buisnessman, had second thoughts about his life and choice of furniture…now he beats himself up, totally broken and sore)
The me that you know he doesn’t come around much
That part of me isn’t here anymore
(jack to marla: tyler’s not here, tyler went away…..tyler to jack: slowly you’re becoming…tyler durden)
All pain disappears it’s the nature of my circuitry
Drowns out all I hear no escape from this my new consciousness
(“after fighting everything has the volume turned down”)
The me that you know he used to have feelings
(“and i used to be such a nice person”)
But the blood has stopped pumping and he’s left to decay
The me that you know is now made up of wires
And even when I’m right with you I’m so far away
(wires…sort of like a machine…the machine of the space monkeys at the paper st soap company)
I can try to get away but I’ve strapped myself in
I can try to scratch away the sound in my ears
I can see it killing away all of my bad parts
I don’t want to listen but it’s all to clear
(becoming tyler is ridding jack of his “bad parts”…his materialism, all that stuff. jack doesn’t want to hear tyler in the hotel room telling him they’re the same person, but he realizes jack is tyler)
Hiding backwards inside of me I feel so unafraid
Annie, hold a little tighter I might just slip away
It wont give up it wants me dead
Goddamn this noise inside my head
(shoots himself in the head to rid himself of tyler)