June 30, 2002
thurs night: i was friends with the people in friends. monica died, so we were trying to console chandler, who wasn’t very upset at all. i took it upon myself to make sure he didn’t kill himself from greif. i think i was in love with him, so that was my excuse to touch him alot. the funeral was someplace on top of a mountain, so we had to go up these tiny mountain paths, and i wanted to make sure he didn’t jump off.
last night: danielle’s cat attacked me and beat me up so badly i had to go to the hospital. then everytime i saw it, it kept trying to attack me. i wanted them to kill it (put it to sleep) cuz it was such a bastard. they were like no, he’s only like that because we wrestle with him. and i’m like that’s bullshit, it’s cuz he has no claws to defend himself with, so you turned him into an evil cat. cuz ziggy has claws and never bites or scratches anyone and my dad wrestles with her every night. i was pissed.
posted by sara @ 10:57 AM//
June 26, 2002
yay for trent dreams. i kept waking up and going back to sleep to continue them
i had gotten the new nin record, which was sort of a covers album/tapeworm preview. it had a bunch of covers that i didn’t know, and 2 tapeworm songs. so eric came over and i was playing the tapeworm tracks for him. then we watched an interview on tv with trent and danny lohner, i guess about tapeworm. danny was doing all the talking, and trent seemed wasted out of his mind on something. trent had blue eyeshadow and red/purple eyeliner on, and blue eyeshadow over his top lip. he started rambling about something but danny made him shut up.
then i was in the yard of this really old rundown house in what seemed to be an area like the garden district of new orleans. there was a tour going by, but it was totally weird. the guide was an old woman, who went inside the house and told one of the men in the tour – a fat business man – to climb up the ladder and go through the window to find her. so he did, and when he got to the top of the ladder the entire thing broke and he fell to the ground. then i realized i was on the set of the new nin video. the theme was a haunted house of sorts. the entire house was falling apart, which was part of the video. i was in the video. i had to go upstairs to where the band was, trying not to make the house fall apart. the story was about a little girl who died and posessed the house. what i had to do was lay on this folding table, as the girl all grown up, but still dead. then people in nin were coming up to me and putting things on me, almost like a funeral. trent came and put a bible against my arm. danny lohner put something else on me. john landis was directing the video. there was something with this rocking chair with candles on it, and simulated lightning to make everything all spooky. well i guess the shoot finished, cuz i could get up from the table. a grand piano appeared, and i freaked out. i was like trent please you have to play something for me, you have to. and i was being all hyper and semi-annoying. he refused to play anything. he said something that i forget now, but it was like, he wasn’t sure how legitmate i was (it so wasnt legitimate that he said, totally can’t remember tho). i replied that i thought i was pretty legitimate. so i went over to where he was, he was cleaning and rotating the wine and alcohol that was being stored in a wine rack against the wall. he was wearing black pants and a purple dress shirt. he was like, take that scalpal over there and throw it, how it lands maybe i’ll play. i said i wouldn’t do it, because the last time i threw a scalpal it landed in my foot. so he was like, is it better now? and i said yeah, it had been 7th grade, it had all healed. then i remember that the same time i did that, i had sliced my hand open too. he asked if that was better too, but i didn’t hear him, so he said it again. so i said yeah, it was all better to, no scars even. then he handed me a big glass of alcohol as he walked away from me. it was cognac. so i was like, what is this, is it going to taste bad, cuz i’ve never had it before. he was going towards the piano. i was really being hyper and not myself, but he seemed not to be annoyed with it anymore but sort of charmed.
*woke up*
carolyn was staying with me because my parents had gone away. trent came over too. he still didn’t really know how to take me and how i acted with him, but he was warming to me. carolyn and i were talking about different kinds of hair products to use and how if i could try them all for free, i’d buy something if it ended up working. (i think there was more here that i don’t remember now) then carolyn was actually danielle, and one morning when we had got up, and i went downstairs to see where they were. they were sitting on the deck together holding hands. but when danielle saw me, she stopped and hoped i hadn’t seen. but i had, and i was pissed as hell, because obviously she knew how much i liked trent and everyone always liked her. so i was like, i’m going to fucking kill her. we all got up to go wherever it was we were going to go to. trent started talking to me about how he couldn’t wait to go back to new orleans in the winter. i guess he had a summer home up north, and stayed down there during the winter. i had a gun, and i was going to shoot danielle in the back. we got into trent’s car, which was a rusted turquoise cavalier. i was like um, where’s the porche? i figured he left that in new orleans. we left, and were driving someplace. i never killed danielle. we were talking about getting special access to concerts, backstage and stuff, if you were a member of some group. trent was a member, so he could do all that. so i was like, well then now you can get me in. i was going to say “since we’re friends now” but i still wasn’t sure how we stood, so i didn’t. he was sorta wishy washy about it, and was like well i’m not sure i can. but i can recommend you join the group. i guess it was invite only. so he was going to do that for me.
*woke up*
carolyn was visiting, because my parents had gone away. we were in my room, which was a mess. full of pieces of crap i had bought because trent had seemed to show an interest in them. we were waiting for trent to finish getting ready. he was in the bathroom curling his hair with a curling iron. then my cat came in, but she had turned into a hamster and was freaking out. so we were trying to catch her, and put her in a cage til she stopped freaking out. but she’d escape from the cage, and freak out more. then she turned back into a cat. trent was finally done in the bathroom.
*woke up*
i was going to see trent someplace. i had to go through canada to get to wherever he was. it was snowing, but it was a wet slushy snow. traffic was slow going, because you had to clear your own way with a shovel. so people were mostly just walking, not driving. trent called me on my cellphone to see how i was doing, and i told him the situation. that it was ok, just slow, but if it got any colder the snow would turn to ice and then it’d be dangerous to keep going. it was warm though, because i had a no sleeve shirt on as i was shoveling. i told him that the snow was disgusting because it was green. then this tv reporter showed up to do a story on the weather, and was helping shovel…..then danielle and i had gone to visit trent in new orleans. he picked us up from the street car stop, and we were walking back to his house. i was walking in front of the two of them, slightly annoyed remembering the past when i had caught them holding hands. then danielle started singing nelly furtado’s “Fly like a bird” and i was like omg stop! but then trent came up and walked with me, and took my hand. i guess we were a couple. he said “i love you honey” and i was a bit shocked, but told him that i loved him.got up, blogged that, back to sleep more dreams
i was watching a movie based on anne rice book with a canadian couple. i guess anne rice decided to do what steven king always did, and have a minor roll in all her movies. so she came on, and i was like hey that’s anne rice. then she materialized on the couch next to the canadians. so she was like hi, and showing them one of her dolls. she was like, sara already knows about the dolls cuz she’s been to my store. and i was like yeah, i went awhile ago. so then the canadians got excited about going to the store and buying something. anne told them that the store was really expensive and they’d only be able to afford a pen. but the canadians were like no, it’s not that bad. anne said all the dolls were around 2000$ and i was like, yeah and that’s 4500$ canadian!
me adrienne and danielle were going to midcity plaza to go swimming, because one of the stores turned into an indoor swimming place. so we parked, and i remembered that jeff martin worked there during the weekdays. then joe and some friend pulled in the space next to us, and completely ignored us. but we went in, and were milling around in the lobby before finding the pool. joe was going around all hyper trying to find someone who would let him meet jeff. then he disappeared, and jeff arrived. no one bothered him he just went to his office. danielle went to swim but me and adrienne just stood around cuz we ended up seing people from high school and talking to them. then i went outside, cuz i wanted to go home, and there were tons of teenie boppers outside waiting for
jeff to leave. so i get through them, and then mary was there. so i was like yo, and we were talking. and mary wanted to meet jeff, since he was going to be coming out soon. so i was like, you should come when he arrives in the morning because no one was there. it was alot easier than waiting after shows, or with the teenie boppers. so then jeff came out and was mobbed by all the teenie boppers, and we just watched. then suddenly they all went away, and mary just walked right up to him and talked to him and stuff.
posted by sara @ 8:43 AM//
June 22, 2002
i had gone back to geneseo to see what was going on around the campus, with my parents and carolyn. for some reason i wanted to talk to someone who worked for CAS about my meal plan, so we went to the campus store – which was in newton. but it was all borded up because it was summer. so we left, and driving down court street we saw they were building a new residence hall. it was already half done even though it had just been started. so i was irritated about the whole townhouse delay of last year. then we passed where they were building the new dining hall, down the hill more. and it was really nice, almost done again. then at the intersection with route 63 they were building an archway over the road as the welcome entranceway to geneseo. so then we were driving down 63 back home, mom was driving, i was in back behind her. carolyn was in the front passenger seat, and my dad behind her. suddenly in front of us i saw an ICBM take off…apparently there were silo-ed ICBMs in new york. that didn’t make sense to me, because NY would be one of the first places of attack, thus limiting second strike capability. but it took off. so i was like omg that’s not cool, cuz that means someone is attacking us. so i looked out my window at the right moment to see a nuclear bomb go off. i’m like OMG DUCK, MOM STOP THE CAR. so me and carolyn both duck our heads down below the car window level. my mom kept driving, and i was like STOP!!!!!! but she kept going. so after a while, we figured it was safe to sit up again. we were far enough away that the EMP didn’t kill the car. and the windows were up, so the fallout would land on the car. so we kept driving home, which was in the direction of the blast, which i didn’t think was a good idea.
posted by sara @ 11:36 AM//
June 17, 2002
all morning, dreams about going to paris. i’d wake up, fall back asleep, more dreams about paris. so this isn’t 1 dream but a combination of all of them.
i arrived in paris, and my flight wasn’t very long so i must have been on the concorde. i got a cab to take me to the hotel i was staying at, and when i got to the hotel i got out of the cab and the driver took off. i went inside the hotel to check in, and that’s when i realized the cab had taken off with my luggage. so now i had nothing, no purse, no backpack no luggage. so i was starting to freak out a bit, because i was all alone in Paris and didn’t know French, and had no ID or money or anything. i went outside of the hotel to see if i could see the cabbie, and catch up to him, but i couldn’t. there was another black cab there, so i stopped him to ask him for a business card in hopes i could call them and they’d have my luggage. just then another black cab pulled up behind him, and even tho i didn’t recognize the driver as being my driver i asked him about my luggage anyway, and he did have it. so i got my luggage and went inside to check in. i got my room and it was on the 3rd floor. i left the room to look around, and ran into ex-suitemate dani, and went into her room. she had a computer with 3 monitors hooked up to it – 1 for normal stuff, 1 for playing games, and 1 for watching movies. i was like ok, you’re a dork. then i went back to my room and across the hall this american woman was talking about how some rooms had fridges, and she knew because she had gone into some other rooms. so i got paranoid i didn’t lock my door and she had been snooping in my room. but she hadn’t been. i went to use the bathroom and it was all messed up. it was so tiny that you couldn’t fit in between the toilet and the sink. you were going to have to stand on the toilet to use the sink to wash up and stuff. just then a bunch of people came into the room. it was all the people who i went to the new orleans conference with, so i guess the trip to Paris was a conference too. because i got confused from the time change i didn’t expect them to be there that day, i thought they were arriving the next day. so i was sorta disappointed that i didn’t have an entire day in the city to myself. but i explained to them my luggage hassel and how i didn’t know what i was going to do if i hadn’t found them, and how i was lucky the 2 cabbies spoke english since my french isn’t very good. we decided to leave and go get dinner, cuz that had been my plan before they had arrived. then sara walked in with a burrito she bought out of a vending machine. we left to go get dinner, and ended up on some ferry boat. i don’t remember much about the boat except it was going super fast, and when i thought it was supposed to land it kept going, until it was driving on a road up a big ramp onto an expressway. and it was so high we could see the whole city, so i was taking pictures. then to get off the boat you had to go down a ladder, but i was holding my camera, my purse, and balloons the boat company had given us. we got off the boat and were in a gift shop.
posted by sara @ 11:59 AM//
June 16, 2002
i was in a mall with the people i went to new orleans with. our hotel room was in the mall. i had taken a shower, and so i was wet and had no makeup on, but i was hungry so i went with some old man to get a bagel from one of the food court stores. we walked to the bagel place and there was a big line. so we were standing in line, and people were making a big fuss up front because trent reznor was there. so i was like OMG i finally see trent in new orleans and i look like shit. so i was just staring at him, and the person i was with was telling me to talk to him. but i was like, no i can’t, i look terrible. so i just watched trent walk by with some old man he was with. and trent looked so cute, his hair was kinda short, and he looked really young. and he had eyeliner on, so his eyes were really dark. so then i was like, i’m not leaving new orleans til i get to talk to him, if i have to hang out in front of his house all day long, he has to leave to get dinner sometime. (figuring that he’d have to go back to the food court for more food).
the trent dream is making me feel all weird. cant explain it.some dream about going to geneseo to watch sturges building get blown up by a nuclear weapon. we were standing in the quad waiting, but then we were told we had to move farther away so we were bussed to a building farther up the valley, where we could watch from inside where we wouldn’t get radiation. but we couldn’t even see the campus, let alone find where sturges was. but i moved towards one of the other windows just as the bomb went off so i got to see the mushroom cloud and stuff anyway.
posted by sara @ 11:08 AM//
June 15, 2002
A bunch of people were at my house and we were eating little bags of snack foods. a few houses down people were filming a moving staring kiefer sutherland. suddenly he came to my house and jumped onto the roof in front of my window, and came in my room through the window. he was pissed off cuz he was accusing us of stealing the food from the movie catering. so he was yelling at one of my friends for stealing a bag of chips, and he was looking at each bag to see if they were the same kind from the movie. so i was like, calm down, we’re not stealing anything. and then he was like ok, but just warning you don’t do it. so then he was nice, and was leaving and i was like, you can leave through the front door if you want, i can show you the way out. and he was like ok. i only did it so i could spend some time with him. so i walked him to the front door. then i was like omg i have to tell Fishy that Kiefer was in my house.
it was halloween and i was going to dressup like Pink. But I had on an outfit like Britney Spears in the Baby one more time video. And my hair was in pigtails. There was a group of us waiting by a wall, and we were all supposed to be dressed up like Pink. I was debating whether or not to go to the store to buy pink hair dye, because without pink hair i just looked like britney. the real Pink was there, and she was spraying graffiti on the wall, and the police showed up and caught her. then i left to buy the spray on pink hair stuff that all the stores sell around halloween.another dream about kiefer. it was a macphisto society related dream. fishy and i were going to go to dinner with some people, but i had to find kiefer and talk to him about when he had been at my house. apparently if i could get him to say he remembered meeting me before, or write it down, i could turn it into school and get extra credit on my final grade. so i was wandering around some mall looking for kiefer. then i was with my friends who were going to go to dinner, and i told them i had to find kiefer first. so fishy came with me, and the others stayed at the end of the street we were on. it was a combination of halloween and mardi gras, and anne rice vampires. we were dressed up for something, but i don’t know what we were dressed up as. so we find this shack or trailer where kiefer was staying during the festival, whatever it was. so i was like, hey can i talk to you for a minute. he said sure, and i asked him if he remembered coming into my window. and he said that he did. then i asked him if he remembered talking to me the other night, which he didn’t. but then i was trying to explain to him why i needed him to remember meeting me before, and he started being weird. he started making his eyes shine bright red like a vampires, and i was like woah how do you do that. meanwhile fishy was going into the trailer to look around. so kiefer and i were talking about how he made his eyes go like that. then i realized he was a vampire too. suddenly he shut the wall of the trailer (because the whole wall came down as a door), and there was a little window i could see him through, and he was feeding on 2 boys that had been in the corner of the trailer. so he finished and opened the wall/door for me again. i was like, you made a bit of a mess with them that time. so apparently i knew he was a vampire before. he was like yeah, but i’ll clean it up no problem, i won’t get charged. then i remembered fishy and i was scared he was going to feed on her. i knew she didn’t like him, so i didn’t want her to realize what he was and be even more hateful towards him. so i freaked out and was like, where’s Fishy, wheres Fishy? Kiefer was like, don’t worry, she’s just sleeping. so i pulled open the curtains of kiefer’s bed, it was like a bed on a tourbus, and fishy was sleeping. so i woke her up and i was like wtf, and she said she was trying to tuck kiefer into bed, and he put her to sleep instead. so she got up and left, and then kiefer came over to me and was hugging me and telling me how we were going to be perfect together, and he was all normal again and not scary. and i was in total awe, he couldn’t do anything wrong in my eyes. and i was still amazed that he could make his eyes go red like that. since i was my character in MPS, i was thinking “Why couldn’t i have met you before i met bono?”
posted by sara @ 11:52 AM//
June 12, 2002
A dream from New Orleans
I was somewhere with Apolo Anton Ohno, and he was going to go off to do something with his olympian friends. But all his friends were heroin addicts, so he decided to not go, and to stay with me. and he enveloped me in a gigantic hug.
Cleaning my room I found an old dream diary I had started in January 1994 – so I was 13
1-4-94
I had a dream that I was at my grandma’s. The house was different (insert drawing here). I went in my room to go to bed and I saw another me all huddled up. I picked me up and pushed me out. Then I went into the bathroom. In there, there were more mes. There was one in the toilet, and one was in the bathtub. 2 were on the sink and counter. I went to the one in the toilet and took the seat and kept closing it on me – the other me.
1-5-94
i had a dream that we were in school in math class. all of my friends were in it. the class was like Las Vegas. there were lights all around. Andrea was a can can dancer and she had her outfit on and was dancing.
1-9-94
I had a dream I was in school and we were going to go on a field trip but i missed my bus. I was stuck with Mrs Muelbauher and some other kids. I asked them if they missed their bus but they were going later. So I left school and went to Hills and played Super Nintendo there. I saw Mr Eberwein there and tried to hide. He left and I played more. The game was you are a snake and you have to drill holes by spinning and jumping. They look like this (insert drawing here).
1-10-94
I had a dream that we were driving and there were cars on the other side of the road. All of a sudden this hole was in the road. These people tried to swerve but there tire caught the edge and they flew off the road.
Then I had a dream I was at school and it was night. I went up to a snow pile and started patting it. All of a sudden it started moving. Rosanne Lockard was burried in the snow. I asked her who did it and she said my parents.
I had a dream that we were in poll and Mrs Hartmann was our teacher. Everyone else went to change but I wasn’t allowed to. When I left no one was there. Dede was playing super nintendo in a hair dryer (insert drawing here).
1-13-94
I was at the Galleria Mall and all my friends and I went upstairs and there was a pool and Rich Stadium. We went in the lockerroom and kept putting gum in our mouths. Then we went to Kristen Ondesko’s house but she lived near the mall. Her neighborhood looked like this. (insert drawing here). They were like islands. She had a skating rink in her back yard. We were at her house and I saw a duckbill platypus climbing onto the rock. I asked them if they bit. Mrs Ondesko said the mayor doesn’t like them here. Then this humongous frog jumped on it and started eating it.
I had a dream that I was a mighty morphine power ranger and 2 of the rangers didn’t want to be in it anymore because they liked Josh Clough. There were some bad guys in school and they wouldn’t help the other 3 rangers. so i called Josh over to my art class and everyone thought his name was Brian.
1-14-94
I had a dream that for halloween i was going to be Cliff Clavin from Cheers, the psycho mailman.
1-26-94
I had a dream that I was babysitting and the little girl wanted to play hide and go seek with plastic chips. you had to put certain amounts of money on each place you could hide and if the hider picks that spot you get money and a prize. we were playing and then i decided it was too easy. I called it memory for some reason. so i went next door to see if they had anything harder to play. the girl was only 2.