Category Archives: Personal

mothers day is this weekend. so i figured i should send my mom flowers or something. i just want to say, if anyone ever sends me flowers i’ll shoot you. HOLY EXPENSIVE!!!!!! who pays 60$ for a bouquet of flowers?!?! THEY’RE JUST GOING TO DIE!!!! and if you’re going to spend 60$ on me there are TONS of other things i could think of for you to buy me, besides flowers. and even the plants, that hopefully wouldn’t die in 2 days, are like 40$… JUST GO TO THE NURSERY AND BUY A FRIGGEN PLANT, PUT IT IN A POT!!!!! 15$! so yeah, i can’t afford any of these things…so i guess she’s not getting flowers.

 

i have a job interview at the account solutions group. they’re a collection agency. she said it’s very customer service oriented, all done on the phone and computers…yeah cuz i LOVE the telephone. she asked how much computer experience i have, and i said i’ve used a computer since i was 8 haha she laughed. she said they don’t harass people, they call and go over credit reports, and work with people as much as possible. it’s 8-12$ an hour depending on experience and education etc, and a monthly bonus. it’s 40 hours a week – required 3 nights a week until 10pm, required 2 weekend days a month, the rest of the hours you make on your own to equal 40. which would be really cool. cuz i could take whatever days off i need, and work like 15 hrs a day if i had to HAHA. but anyway…blah. the interview is the 20th, she wanted to do it monday but exams..or tomorrow, but class…so 20th now, which means it’s definite that i can’t go to cedar point with the house. i wanted to go but didn’t have the money really, so i was iffy on it, but now it’s settled, can’t go. hope they have fun.

last adolescent class today. we spent forever talking about cigarette ads, so we didn’t finish any of the other material. so now i gotta get it all from the book and blah. i should start doing the review sheet and studying so i can try to get 100 on the final. but… you know me, i won’t.

 

bill installed danielle’s cd burner today, and i got to try it out. the program he installed wouldn’t recognize her burner, and we couldn’t update the program cuz it said it wouldn’t connect to the internet so i installed something else for her. worked fine. burned tea party’s interzone mantras since i can’t afford to buy it at the moment. and so far it’s playing and everything worked.

got an email from my mom. i told her i’d be home for the interview. and she writes back saying how crappy of a job it is… like i didn’t realize that….and how it would be mindless drivel and i’d just have people hanging up and yelling at me… like i didn’t realize that. BECAUSE I ALMOST WANT THAT JOB!!!! she claims i’m too smart for a job like that, yet she thinks i’ll still be unemployed in november. well what the hell do you want me to do then? she said i should go to an employment agency.. well you know what kind of job they’re going to find me? the same exact kind of thing. so whatever. can i run away now and be a bohemian?

the dean of the college just sent out an email about jeremy’s death a few weeks ago. on and on about he’s proud of the way the school has responded etc, and that hopefully in time we’ll know what really happened to him. well that’s fucking bullshit. because there is NO WAY that what happened is still unknown. no matter how bad strong memorial screwed up the first autopsy, they know what happened. i know the family knows, i know friends of the family know… i know because i asked a friend of his and he said he couldn’t tell me. i’m tired of the school lying to everyone about what happened. just tell us already. and i’ll be gone in 15 days, and won’t ever find out. i think it’s important for people to know what happened, so it can be prevented or avoided next time.

well computer art is finished. i managed to print my projects out, sorta do a new one, print out my news letter, mount my 4 projects and burn my cd. so now we have to present our news letters on monday, and that’s it. poli sci is cancelled on friday, so i can sleep in for an extra hour…stupid research meeting, making me get up before noon blah.

i really need to go grocery shopping because i have no food. but i don’t even know what to buy. i know i need yogurt, bagels and cream cheese…and chip dip…and not actually any REAL food :P. i have hambuger and buns in the freezer i just always forget to defrost them… i have 4 hotdog buns but no hotdogs…a box of crummy chicken strips…and pasta. so i guess i’ll go see what i can get at aldi, try to avoid wegmans, and maybe go to campus store…i go there all the time and there’s never anything i want so i end up buying chips… hopefully they’ll have chip dip cuz aldis doesn’t.

head hurts blah. i emailed Shea’s yesterday to ask how they decide what shows get to play there. I asked so i know if i ever have a chance of seeing hedwig in buffalo (but i didn’t say that)…anyway. i got a response, and the guy liked my website. i sent the email without my url, so he must have just assumed since my email was a pc.com address, that it was my site and went for the hell of it. so that’s cool. too bad they aren’t like “we want you to come work for shea’s and do our website”…even tho their website is actually functionally cool, and uses flash in a neat non-annoying way, so it doesn’t really need to be redesigned.

 

since the macphisto society moved from pleba to it’s own home, i haven’t gone back to pleba much. but i went today because there was a story about a girl who met bono and edge today at the studio where they are recording. she talked to them, and asked bono if he knew about pleba and he said “scary girls!” (cuz pleba is the forum where girls can go and talk about how they wanna have sex with u2 lol)…LOL i just think that is so hilarious. i guess some ppl are a bit put off that he called them scary… ok but HELLO! I’d be friggen scared too if i was a famous rockstar and had all these hormonal women talking about what’s talked about on pleba (which isnt bad or pornographic or anything)…but i dunno. i don’t understand how people wouldn’t think that’s scary? i mean, i assume he’d be scared of the macphisto society too, and it’s not even bad…lol i dunno. whatever.

 

so the rolling stones are touring again. not playing buffalo. not that i really care. don’t need to see them again, can’t afford to see them again. if i won tickets i’d go, but they’re not a priority. but what is interesting is that on the tour they are playing 3 different kinds of shows…stadiums, arenas and clubs. and each is a different kind of show and set up depending on venue. so there are 2 toronto dates… one at air canada center, one at skydome…i found that very interesting. and it would be super rad to see them in a club, but yeah haha the chance of that happening is near zero (and not just because they are playing here…wouldn’t be able to afford scalper tickets after it sells out in 5 minutes). the previous tours they’ve always done a secret club day, announced the day it happened in various locations…one year it was in toronto, and aunt darleen’s friend happened to be walking by the club and just walked in. how amazing would that be?! another cool thing about this is…when we were at waterstreet on saturday, i commented to eric that i’d die to see nin in a club like that… he said “you know those dreams you have, keep dreaming” lol…but hey if the friggen stones can play clubs, so can nin. 🙂 some day…if i was in a band, oh say nin, i’d do random club dates in the city i lived in…it would be fun. or if i was the googoo dolls or something, i’d do a random club date at showplace or something, a few times a year.

this girl in computer art had THE coolest shirt on today. it was red, and it had a strip of velcro across it. it came with velcro letters so you could spell out whatever you wanted. i’m like omg so i asked her where she got it… walmart!!! lol so i was all excited i was going to go get one, but she said she got it a while ago :(…but it’d be really easy to make, just the letters would be a pain in the ass, but i’m going to look into finding some kind of fabric with letters on it that would look good…we’ll see.

i guess we’re going out to tom wahls tonight for dessert…i guess for danielle’s and my birthday, leah’s paying i guess. so yay! lol dessert!! and i saw the most beautiful people issue with apolo in it. yeah totally need a bigger scan of that, because it’s so gorgeous lol.

mom called. said someone called for me at home about a job. so i guess online resume posting through…whatever i posted on last night…actually works. it’s a customer service job in amherst or something. i guess i’ll call tomorrow. not really looking forward to a job in customer service, but..whatever.

i also looked at other school counseling programs… NU and UB have some. the UB program seems to be only a year long before certification but their site really confused me. they kept using M.Ed. and Ed.M. interchangably and i don’t know if those are 2 different degrees or not. then there was something about 2 years experience before permanent certification or something. and then more classes. i dunno i was so confused. and i requested information about social studies 2ndary ed degree from Buff state…to find out if you need a history background or can enter with any degree.

saw the new eminem video on mtv. it’s actually really funny. lol. and then i saw a video from some skater girl named avril lavigne or something. more girl pop music, but at least she plays guitar and doesn’t dance. so she’s already higher on my list. she doesn’t have that good of a voice…i need to make a demo tape of crap and shit it off to record companies so they can mold me and make me famous.

 

i hate people. went to try and print my comp art stuff again. this time only 4 others were there. so i stood up and asked, “is anyone printing anything?” so that i could put my good paper in the printer. no one said anything, looked at this other girl, she didn’t say anything. so fine, i put my paper in there and it starts warming up…which isn’t right since i hadn’t sent anything yet….so sent my jobs to the printer…nothing prints. go over and look, printer is jammed from the heavier paper i put in. which is probably my fault. so i open the side of the printer, don’t see anything close it, and it spits out the paper. WITH SOMEONE ELSES PRINT ON IT! I FUCKING ASKED IF ANYONE WAS PRINTING AND NO ONE SAID YES!!! AND IT WAS THE GIRL I HAD LOOKED AT AND SHE LOOKED AT ME AND DIDNT SAY SHE WAS PRINTING. i put a thinner piece of paper into the printer to see if it would go through (got stuck too) and she comes over and gets her print and is like sorry. WTF! I ASKED IF YOU WERE PRINTING! fucking bitch. besides the fact it’s 4000 degrees in there, so i’m already irritated. then you use my paper, and the printer is STILL jammed and i don’t know how to unjam it, and couldn’t find our proff. fuck that. so i left…again…with nothing printed. i guess i’ll go in before class tomorrow and attempt for a 3rd time to print out my projects so i can mount them during class tomorrow. arg

 

2 plane crashes today. i have no fear of flying pre or post sept 11th, but that’s not really something i want to hear about when i’m going to be on 8 different planes in the next month.

 

 

buffalo has zero jobs. ok i lie. buffalo has zero jobs that i can do because either 1. i don’t have the right kind of degree 2. i don’t have experience, but can’t get experience anywhere to get hired anywhere else 3. jobs i can do are poverty line pay, and i’m too smart for. 112 jobs came up in my buffalonews.com search and i’m not even qualified to do DATA FRIGGEN ENTRY apparently..because i have no experience. oh there were some light industrial assembly jobs i could do because no experience or degree required.. .BUT WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT WHEN I’M A COLLEGE GRADUATE?! there was this one “PLAY PLAY PLAY $400-$600/Wk. Advertising co. dealing with NBA, NHL, MLB clients seeks 20 people serious about having fun, making money and goofing off. No Experience. Call Tina, 873-4705.”…..no idea what that’s about, but that’s 20,000$/yr before taxes. couldn’t even support myself on that. might as well call 😛

 

i’ve decided to start wearing my glasses again. even tho they make my eyes hurt. because i really can’t see. my eyes just go into stare mode and don’t focus. so blah.

chucky p’s new book “lullabye” comes out in the fall, and the site is up and running for it. so i read the exerpts, seems so good!! it seems like it’s going to be a lot better than “choke”…not that choke was that bad, it wasn’t…but it was strange, and really perverted, and i would not recommend it to a first time chucky p reader. i’d go with “survivor” or “fight club” first. i need to re-read “choke” and see if there are some hidden gems i missed the first time around. i know there is, cuz it was still a cool book, it just wasn’t as good as his others. it wasn’t as surprising and all that. wasn’t predictable, but didn’t blow my mind. “lullabye” seems like it’s going to appeal to me much more. just the first chapter (or exerpt from the first chapter) was super interesting, and i totally want to read it NOW. lol. i signed up for the street team again…they mentioned buttons. I WANT CHUCKY P BUTTONS! last time they gypped me on the stickers, so they better not gyp me on the buttons lol.

and my god, cyndi’s friend is wonderful….all these apolo pics…this time, swimming, shirtless…buff. omg. lol can’t tell if he has hip groovies or not LOL.

my friend sandy met michael jackson again. yes again. so i think this is time #6…possibly more than that actually….cleveland, munich, london (possibly more than once), nyc twice, cali (i think is the recent one)…that i know of. she sent some pictures of her and him. god he looks terrible.

i wasted time on the net today looking for pictures of men in makeup. why? just because. i got some strange sites, none of them were men in makeup. i got a site about a transvestite supply shop…and a site about permanent makeup including nipple coloration…?!?!….then i google image searched…dude it sucks now. i dunno if it changed or if it was always like that, but no matter what i search for i just end up getting tons of random menu buttons from various sites…and sites that have NOTHING to do with my search…so blah. no men in makeup for me…i mean, other than my rockstars.

 

still so deaf. crunching on my cereal is absolutely horrible LOL.

“Orgy have been busy in a Los Angeles, CA area studio recording new material for their upcoming new album as of late. The group have laid down tracks for more than a dozen songs and are continuing work on recording with plans to have the album out later this year. The group will also be releasing their first DVD effort around the same time as the album lands in stores and hope to hit the road to begin touring later this summer.”

yay and blah!! dude dvd was supposed to be out late spring. but why am i surprised it won’t be out til xmas or something. arg.

forgot to mention something last night. a deer ran out in front of my car on nash rd when i was heading back to the thruway. NASH ROAD!! i saw it, thought it was a dog, slowed down, it ran across the street, everything was good. but NASH ROAD!!! i get paranoid driving home from RIT on 390 at night, and then on rt 20 back to school cuz it’s dark and open, and yeah..deer. but i have never seen a deer running around. then i’m on nash road and i could have possibly hit one. insane. it was especially weird since everything that i had a fleeting thought of came true yesterday, but i had this vision of having to go to my house and wake my parents up because i hit a deer. then the deer runs in front of me.

anyway. i’m tired. couldn’t get to sleep even tho i was exhausted because i took excedrine for my headache and the caffine kept me awake til god knows when, prolly after 4 sometime. so of course i was thinking of tim, and it sorta really depressed me LOL. i was like NO STOP THINKING!! so i did. lol. i was just thinking about how perfect he is and how i’ll probably never meet anyone like him ever again. NO STOP IT! ok. 🙂 oh and i was thinking, it’s actually been more like 3 years since i last saw tim. summer 99, because he came in to mcds and julie ran back to get me and was like “i think tim is here!!!!!!” so i ran up front, and looked like crap of course, and i had long black hair then. so yeah. i look different now. and then i insulted julie by saying i’m glad he didn’t work here anymore, because she would have tried to fuck him LOL. she got offended. well it was true, whatever.

so i guess i should get dressed and do something before heading to RIT. i need to put gas in my car something fierce. everyone paid me finally, which is good since i said in the last post i had an expensive credit card bill, and the next one will be just as bad. and my grandparents sent me money, which is going to go in the gastank. i dunno if i should go to cedar point, i really can’t afford it anymore. we’ll see. i’m not used to high credit card bills. i’m not like most college kids who have exorbitant amounts of debt. my monthly statement is usually between 10-20$…and 10 is for this website. so when i saw 454!!! lol. my last bill was high too because it was my plane ticket to chicago, but mom paid for that..or she paid for it out of my savings accout. this bill had 300$ worth of last night’s tickets, and 100+ for the psych conference. which i’ll get reembursed for, but not til september or something. next bill will have the tickets for new orleans on them. no $!!!!

i was just flipping through the channels before going to bed, and happened to come upon the howard stern show. and i stopped because sharon osbourne was on, and so was insane clown posse. omg sharon is so funny! she was totally making fun of them, and saying how they were retards, and have no vocabulary. and so they’re yelling back at her, making fun of her, and one of the stupid clown people were like, shut up or i’ll smack those spectacles off your face. so she took them and threw them at the clown guy ROFL. then she bet them 50,000$ that their next record wouldn’t sell more than 200,000 units. so they were all trying to tell her this stuff about the music business, and she’s all like don’t you tell me about the music business, you’re not even in the music business because you’re not musicians, you’re two retards with a gimick that lasted 5 minutes and you’re over. rofl. she was getting them good, and all they could say back were insults about how she was old LOL. it was so great, she is so hilarious. and the clowns were like, didn’t you push someone down the stairs, someone’s manager. she was like yeah, korn’s manager. i punched him first, then pushed him down the stairs ROFL. so funny. she is great. that whole damn family is a riot. then was flipping through more, and ozzy and sharon were on leno. omg it was hysterical. leno is just sitting there not really understanding what ozzy was saying, and he’s just like “yeah great”…sharon was complaining about how ozzy eats 5 apples a night in bed, and they’re so loud crunching. then ozzy was trying to tell a story about how he got banned from the circus when he played madison square garden, but couldn’t remember MSG so he’s like SHARON help me out. and i think he realizes how everyone laffs at him always yelling for sharon, cuz he kept just going “sharon!!!” lol. it was so funny. and he has 2 smilie faces tattooed on his knees ROFL. it was so great. oh and leno asked if they’re doing a 2nd season and they are!! YAY!!!!!

but last night sucked. was watching tv because the stupid rain was hideously loud. didn’t get to sleep til 3ish, cuz if the rain. and i think i need to tape record just how loud it is, because it’s not normal rain noise. and it’s not a consistant loud irrtating noise…if it was consistent i could fall asleep. but it depends on the wind, and crap. so half the time it wasn’t even really raining, yet water was pouring off the 3rd floor roof on to the one in front of my window, and OMG IT’S JUST SO GODDAMN LOUD! i was really about to cry, and go downstairs to sleep on the couch. finally it stopped tho, and then it was just windy as all hell (still is) but at least i can sleep to that. and of course got woken up by housemates talking in front of my door. ARG!

 

1. carolyn got our david bowie tickets. yay.
2. i must say i love my international relations class. it’s absurdly easy, and the proff is so cool…we got out 20 min early today. we talked about the world bank some more, and got to debt forgiveness. so i was trying really hard to find a reason to bring up bono, but didn’t really happen. lol. i was hoping he’d mention it…like jubilee 2000/drop the debt and how they’ve been getting money from the US to help 3rd world countries, and how bono is doing such a great job with it…but he didn’t. lol that’s ok
3. since we got out 20 min early tho, it’s not really enough time to go back home before coming to the meeting, so i just have to sit here for 20 min. boring. i need to find a bathroom but i dunno where they are in this building, and i dunno if it’s safe to leave my stuff in here and be signed on to this comp. someone might waste my printer balance. not like anyone is in here, and not like anyone ever comes in here at this time in the morning lol.

bowie – toronto – august 5th. oh yeah. i REALLY should try to like his music LOL. i hope it’s not super expensive. but i must go! must!

i need to move out of my house (parents house). i can’t live there. i know my dad reads my site every now and then, so there you go. i’m moving out as soon as i can afford to. i will find a job that gives me enough money to live in a shit hole apartment if i have to, but i am not living there.

right. fuck detroit.

highlighted danielle’s hair tonight. not sure how it turned out yet. just rinsed it out, she’s taking a shower and i’m going to bed. but i could tell there were some (alot) of dark spots left. we’ll see how it looks in the morning to see if we need to go dye it some other color tomorrow. and tomorrow is my turn. at least we know how it’s going to turn out – red. if danielle’s hair looks bad it’s not my fault. seriously. i did what i was supposed to, she only wanted to leave it in for 15 min instead of 20…cuz it was 12 lol. and i put in as much as i could, u can’t exactly slop on the bleach stuff on tiny little chunks of hair. so dunno…whatever. i’m sure it’ll be fine.

 

so my hair is now back to my “normal” dark red. lol. we didnt make a mess, and didn’t stain the bathtub so it’s all good.

should really do work today since i did zero yesterday. we’ll see haha

 

2 years ago today was the NIN toronto show. blah that was so long ago!! i burned myself a cd with the NIN acoustic set from chicago (which i just realized was recorded the day before the toronto show) and the APC acoustic set from Philly. i hadn’t listened to the APC one since…well since i dled them last year lol. i forgot how great they were, and how much they morphed the songs and stuff. great. so anyway…2 years since the NIN show (almost 3 since the fragile release). and there has been 2 nin releases (things falling apart – or is it things fall apart – and the live stuff)…we (nin fans) bitch about how long it takes to get new stuff from trent etc…but 3 releases in 3 years…that’s pretty damn good for him LOL. we should all stop bitching, cuz it’s not like between downward and the fragile – 5 years. of course, a release that requires a tour would be nice 🙂

 

i was just reading through some of my dreams, skimming them, to find the one where david bowie was my personal oracle and lived in my basement… but i realized i’ve had an awful lot of dreams about marilyn manson…and at least 4 where i was dating him. hmm..that’s weird. i’ve had more dreams about him than about any of the bands i actually really like (except maybe u2, i’ve had alot of u2 dreams)

and apparently my email was completely broken last night. because i didn’t get any email from yesterday afternoon until…now. and i’m getting all kinds of stuff that was sent yesterday…including one from MJNI which says….. MJ is playing MGM Grand hotel with Sigfried and Roy (or not with them maybe) in Vegas….. IN JUNE!!!! ARRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY COULDN’T HE PLAY THERE LAST WEEK IN MAY?!!!!!!!?!?!?!!!!!!!?!?!?????!?! arg arg arg!

 

so we’re under a tornado watch. i figure i got my life long dream of the earthquake, up next…tornado. so i asked fishy if she dreamed about any lately, and she said no. but she’s better than the weather channel at predicting tornados, so she told me all the good signs…like hail…suddenly gets warm…gets real calm…and if you hear a train whistle moan type noise, good to go for a tornado. so here’s hoping 🙂 it’s a funny color outside again, but our windows are slightly tinted too and now the rain is hitting my window so i can’t open it anymore to find out the real color. COME ON START HAILING!

 

the last episode of season to of Fear was on tonight. a whole 6 episodes :P…nothing will ever EVER beat the first 2 episodes of this season, so now i’m kinda jaded…it was freaky when they did the seance and the monkey boy cage started moving, and when the kid was locked inside it and it started moving. but besides that it was do-able. so in recap of the season. first 2 episodes with the nuale was freaking insane. besides that, the balls moving around the floor in the childrens room last week was pretty freaky. the rest were more or less do-able. i hate the ones where they have to be locked in rooms overnight and stuff. i think the only time they had to do that last season was in eastern state pennitentary, but i don’t know. it would suck, i know that much lol.