Category Archives: Personal

i drove back to school for the last time ever. and i should have just moved everything home on saturday and stayed home. i could have come back friday afternoon for the rehersal, spent the night, graduated and then left. cuz there’s no reason for me to be here. whatever.

went out again with eric this afternoon. i guess it’s just not meant for us to go to the new record store. we drove down there, and there was a big giant dog inside barking at us, and it was locked up with a be right back sign on the door. so we went to the used bookstore around the corner and back to the record store, still not open. it didn’t seem like it had alot of stuff, and not stuff for us anyway so no big deal. although they did have a spin magazine poster of the 90 greatest albums of the 90s on the wall featuring kurt cobain, lauryen hill, i forget who else, and trent. and he looked really nice. so i want it hahah. like i need another poster. headed back home and washed my car. did nothing. ate dinner, and came back to school. i never signed off AOL at home though, so anyone who sent me messages from 3pm until 7:30 i never got them. hahah. my bad.

i forgot to mention that i bought some books at the thrift store yesterday. i got a nkotb book that i used to have LOL and this book called Class of 89 Seniors…looks like another promising teen book a la merrivale mall. eric found a downward spiral shirt at the other thrift store which also had furry cow car seat covers for 15 bucks. they even looked clean and stuff, but 15$ is still too much for me LOL.

i packed up most of my kitchen stuff…i dunno if the cookie sheet is mine…and i still have to pack a few other things that are in the dishwasher (since no one did the dishes all weekend)….

ok what the fuck. i got an A- in computer art. That’s fucking bullshit.

if i don’t wake up tomorrow it’s cuz i gave myself a concussion, hitting my head on the ceiling really fucking hard. like..my head feels flat now, and parts of the ceiling are now on my bed. yeah, it doesn’t feel real well right now. i’m really not joking. i think i should go to the hospital.

i need to stop thinking really bad things about people, cuz everything i keep thinking keeps coming true. i might have only said this to carolyn, but i had wished that i’d run into goth joe…who’d i see tonight…goth joe. and i’ve been wishing for some pretty bad things to happen to ppl lately so i better stop before they come true, since i don’t really mean them. i should start wishing about winning big in vegas 🙂 but anyway…goth joe. yeah he gained weight. and he’s such a fucking coke head (which makes no sense cuz he gained weight), but goddamnit he’s still hot. arg. but over him. totally. he remembered me, which was more than i can say for tim. and saw this other girl from high school who i think was surprised to see me show up where we showed up. yeah. long story. not blog suitable. lol

i fucking reek of smoke. BLAH now i gotta shower tomorrow 😉 eric will be home so we’re gonna check out the new record store, and joe said he’d call or something. oh reminds me, i should see who won the game…oh hell yeah Avs in OT!! woo hoo

when i wake up in the morning my hair sticks straight up just like paige haley’s before he shaved it. lol. i rock. my mom left a note to let her know if i want to go to wendy’s for lunch, and well….i do and she’s not here. so….yeah. and she made coconut cake which i want to devour right now HAHA. starving.

yeah ok i signed up to do a support thing for Jay Gordon’s record label divison 1. and i got email from them today about membership information…theres 2 types…professional and non professional membership…100 or 65$…you get all access laminates to concerts and free shit, and press passes to events and stuff…yeah. how can i not want to do this ROFL. but i’m so torn cuz yeah, i’m broke. there’s only 200 spots for both, so i’d have to do it all fast and not wait til after my vacations when i have money. arg. but come on, this is supposed to go to ppl who support orgy, and who has supported orgy the past 4 years?! ME! so i should do it lol.

well went out with eric for a while. went to check out the record store but it was closed so i guess we’re gonna go tomorrow. hit some thrift shops and media play before going home at like 9:30. media play has one of those claw game machines with the stuffed animals in it. well their machine has THE best stuffed…thing… in it of all time. it’s this amazingly rad stuffed world trade center thing. it’s silver, and it has the two towers with the TV antenna on the top of the one tower. omg it’s the greatest thing ever. but i know i’d never be able to win it so i didn’t even try. that makes me sad. i think i’m going to start a collection of cheesy 9-11 souveniers…but i have to pick them out myself. so don’t anyone be buying me them – stick to the floatie pens 🙂 if someone wants to go to the media play near sheridan and win me the stuffed towers, that’d be ok tho 🙂

didn’t do anything with joe. had emailed a few times with no ideas of what to do. i told him to call if he wanted to go with me and eric to check out the store but he didn’t. oh well. heading back to school tomorrow after dinner i guess. i dunno when everyone else was going to be getting back home.

one down one to go. it was 15 min. not saying anything else incase they come to the site and read this. lol guess i’ll go eat lunch now. i think i’m gonna go to galleria later.

hahaha the 2nd interview was great. drove downtown, and the woman was running late so i took the online assessment test thing first. it was a test to see how suited you are for the job. so i took that then talked to the woman. since i took the test first she looked up the results after we talked. i got a 1 out of 19 ROFLMAO…which means the job is TOTALLY completely wrong for me 🙂 but she seemed really impressed with me and was going to give my resumes to friends of hers that do placements to see if i can get some kind of entry level job someplace. and she said if i needed any help in even just brainstorming for jobs i should look for to call her and stuff. so she was really nice. i thought it was funny that i’m completely not a good candidate for the job. i laughed.

there was something else i was going to say but i forgot. i stopped at frisbees on the way home and found a U2 promo for “big girls are best” (bside from “all that you cant leave behind”)….they had a vanilla ice promo for “too cold” hehehe. and there is a new record store downtown, on elmwood past allen. i won’t be here for the art festival this year, which kinda sucks, but not a big deal. i’ll be in new orleans which is just a big more exciting LOL. even tho a snag has been hit in the NO plans…it’s ok.

i forgot the best news of all. they’re opening a Hot Topic at boulevard mall! so now we don’t have to drive to the galleria anymore. since it takes me longer to drive there then i spend at the mall. which is the main reason i’m not going to the mall right now even tho i want to.

need a job need a job need a job!! all kinds of stuff i want to buy at hot topic all of a sudden (yes i went to the mall). first off i want the spiderweb fishnets…not too sure how it would feel on my feet since regular fishnets hurt, but oh well. wonder how hard they are to get on too hahaha. then they had this really great shirt with alice in wonderland on it. they have a few of these…old fashion disney images on shirts…alice, snow white, sleeping beauty… they are so great. then they had this super rad skirt…it’s a long one. and a cool dress that is like the ones i tried on before, so it would look bad, but it’s black with red stars. yeah it rocks. maybe there are some pics on the site, if so i’ll post them.

YAY Avs just scored!! 2-1 Avs. now they just need to keep this leave unlike the last game.

so anyway. it’s kinda weird around here today. i mean at least to me. when i was out earlier i saw a few army helicopters flying around. then on the way to 2nd interview, i saw 2 red helicopters flying around. then just now i saw another army plane flying around in circles. there is an airbase here so i’m assuming they’re just doing practice missions or something. but it’s weird. since the airbase is here, and the powerplant is here if you look at the maps of places most likely to be nuked during the cold war, there is a big giant target on this area. and my dad went from one targeted place (west valley) to another (the power plant)….according to what i’ve heard on the news, the new terrorist threats are likely to come to power plants…i dunno if all the stuff i saw were like, air monitoring/protection, or drills or what… it was kinda eerie to see the plane flying around, cuz it was real low and stuff. if the north east’s power goes out tonight i guess it’s cuz we got blown up.

omg they’re playing elastica’s “connection” at the hockey game…i haven’t listened to that cd in forever. that is bizarre.

anyway. i’m bored. i can’t stand being here anymore. how am i gonna last til i have enough money to move out?

k so not fair. i get buzzed and everyone leaves….hahaha. what fun is that, sitting here at my comp all feeling the effects of alcohol…tonight was fun. amy and sarah came over to watch a movie, and danielle’s “friend” nick came over, plus the rest of us but we never watched the movie. we talked and stuff, and then played taboo hahahaha. it was rad. but then it’s like quarter after twelve and bill and leah went to bed and amy and sarah left and what i’m gonna go hang out downstairs with them and be the third wheel and be all uncomfortable. i think not. and so now i’m here, buzzed, and no one’s even online to talk to. this blows. grrrrr

so going home tomorrow. packed my car up and it’s sitting in the faculty lot waiting for me. i guess i’m gonna get up at 9:30 or so to get home by 11:30 to get my haircut. or something. and then dunno what i’m doing at night since 1. muhammed said he wanted to go out sat night. 2. nate said he wanted to go out sat night. 3. joe invited me out with all them sat night. but then nate is going to a rave i guess, which i can’t afford…and i haven’t talked to muhammed since tuesday. so most likely will go with joe and them bowling. but i dont have any money, so i’ll just go. yeah. that’s what most likely will happen.

i don’t know what to say, but i don’t want to go to bed. this blows so badly. my stereo is really loud. oh well.

well i’m home. unpacked some crap, and got my haircut.

i had a really disturbing dream that i want to repress. it involved a disturbing psychological experiment. *end*

i suddenly got really sentimental and stuff in the car on the way home…about graduation, and stuff… and in combination with some things i’ve been thinking about lately i wanted to cry. i was like NO! NO CRY! spent way too much time crying in the car on this road. lol. blah.

so i need to eat and do laundry and watch tv 🙂

one down one to go. poli sci was ick. longer than normal, added true and false ICK…got 1 wrong for sure because i didn’t know so i wrote “i cant remember but it begins with a C” (and i’m right, just looked it up, it’s concentration). then educated guessed on 4 others. and there was a bonus q to finish this lyric, and even tho i didn’t know it i’m pretty sure it was “what a long strange trip its been” cuz what else goes after “what a…” and it went along with the other lines hahaha. excuse me for not being a hippie. still finished in 25 minutes, and i took a while on a few that i didn’t know. i should still have above a 90 and still have an A.

need to shower now, i’m gross. then study for clinical and try not to fall asleep since i didn’t sleep much last night – stupid rain, stupid loud people outside all night

blah clinical was absolute crap. got one whole short answer wrong. totally friggen wrong. completely utterly and totally wrong. it was covert sensitization….i went on and on about how it’s a type of exposure therapy where you get put in a room with the spider and aren’t allowed to leave (i didn’t REALLY write that)…and yeah that couldn’t be anymore wrong. covert sensitization is imagining the problem behavior and then vividly thinking of something aversive so that you attach the aversive stimulus to the behavior. so i cant even get partial credit for it. and i got 4 wrong in the multiple choice. so assuming i get full credit on the other short answers i’ll have a 91, and still get an A. i got a 98 on the paper.

so i guess amy and sarah are going to come over tonight. we were trying to rent rose red so we can see the end (since somehow only 3 of the 4 parts recorded), but wegmans and blockbuster in tops were out. so we rented From Hell, and are going to see if rose red is at the indi rental place when it opens at 4. if not, probably going to rent se7en…i looked at the special edition dvd, and omg i want it. fincher rocks!!!!!

and now i have to pack. totally don’t want to…i have nothing to procrastinate now except for packing hahaha.

and today is trent’s 37th birthday. the meathead perspective on the ninhotline did a little tribute for trent, including something that amused me…. “trent doesn’t need heroin to write good music” haha. it made me laugh.

it’s really disturbing to me that the government knew all about this bin laden plane hijacking stuff THREE YEARS AGO! really, really disturbing. i just read this interview with maynard at the store, and he was talking about how evil Dub-ya is, and how he’s harming america and making it hard for americans to travel places without being looked upon like the germans used to be looked at. how we’re living in the thrid reich, sacrificing our civil liberties blindly to our lovely government. i love maynard.

it’s supposed to snow on monday. WTF!!!!! ok i HATE hot weather, but snow at the end of may??!?!?!?!?

i gotta hardcore study today since i didn’t at all yesterday. so don’t expect to talk to me, cuz i’m not even gonna be in the room. i read through all my poli sci notes up to the new unit which the test is concentrated on before bed, then watched tv. caught the last 30 seconds of the colorado game YAY AVS!!!!!!!! thank god, cuz they’re the only team with a chance against detroit. fucking detroit.

i’m really pissed off. ok not pissed off. but irritated at people’s ignorance and stupidity. and at people who don’t listen to me when i know what i’m talking about. *done* people should know by now that i’m always right 🙂 and i’m not being egotistical, because in this situation it’s true, and i am right.

studying was going ok. went to dinner at sarah’s. came back, started clinical at 8 which is kinda icky. but now i’ve stopped to deal with something that’s bugging me by bitching at carolyn LOL lucky her. i need to get back to the books tho. i gotta stay up til 1 now cuz i spent too long at sarah’s. i have time between exams tomorrow to prepare more for clinical, which is why i’m doing the bitching now. it’s good thing i did so well in these classes all year, cuz i can do really bad on the exams tomorrow and still get As 🙂

i’m having a dilemma. i suddenly really want to go to a concert. and static x is playing tuesday. and even tho i know all of 3 static x songs, i really want to go. earshot and other ppl are playing too. it’s 21$ for 4 bands which isn’t too bad, but i don’t have any money really. and then i thought, it’s in the middle of exams, the day before study day, i should stay home and study.. but then it’s like WTF am i talking about? i went to see econoline crush the day before my personality exam, the day of my personality exam, and the day after my personality exam last year LOL. so i dunno. i asked danielle but she’s all i dunno cuz i invited nick over…but she’ll go if i decide by noon tomorrow. and now eric doesn’t know if he’s going cuz none of us have any money, so waiting on him too. hahah

well i have another job interview on monday. this time for a financial sales position…the place is on franklin street behind pearl street brewery. haha so danielle is like, i’m coming every day for lunch when i’m home on breaks if you get that job!! but she didn’t say what the job was except financial sales… so i’m still assuming it’s selling people 2nd mortgages and stuff.

still dunno about static x. last night mary was 80% sure she was going to go, and eric said he could turn in his coins and be able to afford it hehe. we offered him an IOU from the boston fund too. and david might come up too.

i went to bed at 1 last night but ended up watching people in the news on cnn… it was about madonna, which ended up being a half hour long. then was a segment on ozzy so i couldn’t go to bed before that. it was funny, because once again they showed the SHARONNNNN cat chasing clips, and the “bubbles?!?!?! i’m ozzy osbourne, the prince of fucking darkness!” clip hehehe…so didn’t fall asleep til 2:30 or so.

static x is a 100% definite now. david’s not coming, but the rest of us are going. i guess i should get tickets.

studied for an hour and a half, took an hour nap, made dinner for an hour, and now back to studying. my head feels weird so i think i’ll take some pre-emptive drugs.

comp art was boring. we had bagels, we talked about computers and how they’re getting new programs next year and stuff. we presented our newsletters. i was like, yeah i wrote it all myself, and i did reviews so i had an excuse to use this picture of trent reznor (the piano one) because it’s the greatest picture of trent reznor ever. yeah people think i’m funny.

oh and i found out the company i have my 2nd interview at is an insurance company. so i’d be calling people to sell them new life insurance haha. i mean, i guess…assuming that’s what my job would be.

studying was actually going pretty decently. but then i lost all motivation with 1 chapter left. that’s also due to the fact i came back upstairs. studying downstairs i have nothing to distract me. just being in my room is a distraction…even with stereo and comp sounds off, there’s too much to look at, too much to inspire daydreams haha. and then when i came up here, i had to play a game of snood. which turned into a game of spite and malice as well. and now i’m blogging. so i have 45 minutes to do the last chapter. so i can go to bed.

and i’m totally not feeling guilty about spending money on static x anymore (i sorta was, since i’m broke and have no money for my vacations)…but i remembered that my mom owes me 100$ from graduation stuff, and i just got paid for the website i did, and my mom was supposed to deposit that in my account today. however i did forget that i owe 20 to comp art proff for the lab fee. oh well 🙂

anyone know if ticket prices go up the day of even if you still buy them from ticketmaster? because we didn’t buy the static x tix yet, and i figured now we could just get them at soundgarden tomorrow on the way up to RIT. oh well, it’ll work out.

like i said yesterday the internet kept dying last night. it died around 11 and stayed dead until about 12 minutes ago. i had the most insane dreams. like about bon jovi, and courtney love and hotel rooms and yeah. just completely insane. don’t know wtf is wrong with my head lol. i woke up with a massive headache at 9:30, got up, took excedrine, told danielle my dreams and tried to go back to bed. of course that didn’t work, it was raining out. so then i got up, found the internet broken so i couldn’t even blog my dreams (i typed them into word tho haha i’m a dork). i was supposed to make pancakes for breakfast today…but we have no eggs. so that forced me to actually take a shower and get dressed. i was going to start in on my review sheet, but then the internet came back LOL. i think it’d be better if it stayed broken today. oh well.

i’m really tired. i think i’m going to need a nap at some point today. bill and leah got home around 1 from cedar point, i was still awake, but then they kept me awake upstairs. and they got up really early, or at least bill did cuz leah is still upstairs sleeping. that’s why i was up at like 7 and then 9:30. that and the rain.

well it’s been 3 hours and i’ve done one and a half chapters. i wanted to finish before dinner (5pm), so i have 2 hrs to do the last half of chapter 13, and all of chapter 14. i think i’m doing ok, as far as meeting my goal of finishing before dinner. i have taken a bunch of breaks though. haha. my head hurts, and my glasses are making it worse i think. oh well. i hate doing this review sheet since i already know all this stuff. let me say it one last time IT’S ALL REVIEW FROM EVERY OTHER CLASS I’VE TAKEN! seriously. i’ve learned about kohlberg’s stages of moral development at least 6 times…11th grade psychology, intro to psych, child development, social and personality development, adolescent development, probably social psych, and possibly one of my sociology classes, and i think 12th grade sociology. and i’ve learned about attribution theory in social psych, personality, intro probably, industrial/organizational psych, and now adolescent…if not more. i’m so tired of all this. i don’t think i could handle going to get my phd and having to learn all of this AGAIN for the 7th time.

god i’m tired.

finished my review sheet at quarter to 5. made dinner, and have done NOTHING ever since. i’ve been talking on IRC, and playing solitare, and yeah that’s it. changed cds again…listened to dangerous, and then next is george michael lol. i’m really tired. i should have started to study.