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i might be moving. again….to austria!!!! my mom called today to find out about shit, and said my dad had an interview tonight at the same place he had a few weeks ago. but then she said he might be applying for this job, some kind of government or United Nations job that would be 3 years in Austria!!! They pay for your rent, all the expenses involved in moving, and traveling back home etc. she didn’t want to go, if i was gonna stay in the US but HELL NO! i’d so fucking move to Austria for 3 years. i probably wouldn’t be able to work anywhere, maybe for the US goverment there or whatever the job is with. but probably not in like…a store in Austria or whatever, that whole work visa stuff. So then I’d have like 3 years to do nothing except travel europe and get cultured and OMG IT WOULD ROCK SO HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I shouldn’t get excited cuz it probably won’t happen. but IF IT DID!! You all would have to come visit me and we could go traveling WHEREVER you wanted to go. woo hoo. so great. that made me happy. my dad could get a job in Washington state and doesn’t want to move but apparently Austria is a different story LOL.

it’s sleeting and really shitty outside. classes were cancelled after 5 pm today. great cuz mine was at 1120 am. but maybe it’ll keep up and we wont have any tomorrow. lol. adrienne is supposed to come tomorrow but if it’s still bad weather i hope she doesn’t risk it. don’t need her driving into a ditch again. i guess we’ll see. i’ll have to take 10 years to scrape my car off tonight to go up to Amy’s for dinner. blah.

i had the wackest scariest murderous dream last night. gonna post it on dreamblog soon.

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trent is funny, and so damn correct…

“But I have enough faith in the music-listening public that they’ll soon have had enough of look-a-like blonde Barbie doll singer fluff music, or enough comic book scary bands, or enough fucking rap-metal, or enough bland power rock bands. I mean with that last one, my fucking God, what has happened there? Eddie Vedder should start suing these people for sounding like him, for fuck’s sake.”

“…..And I think people have been conditioned to this, and that’s how bands of extreme mediocrity rise to the top. People don’t know that there’s anything better than this.”

Extreme mediocrity? Do you mean a band like Creed?
Trent: “Oh my God, yes, exactly. But I don’t even really take offence at them because we’re not doing the same thing. It’s almost like we’re not the same species. I don’t want to fight them, but I don’t want to listen to them, either.”

rofl at his “oh my god, yes” hahaha i need to sit down and have a conversation with this man. i bet he’d crack me up. “But since I’m on a bitching spree…” LOL he’s too funny.
“You know, I think all these bands that have turntablists are doing nothing more than clambering aboard the Titanic and sailing to their death. They are the spandex pants bands of this generation.”

 

people piss me off. and administrative shit, pisses me off. just so you know.

 

i’m moving.

 

i was being bugged all day trying to remember when trent’s birthday was, and how old he was. i knew it was either may 10 or 17…i knew it was on the same day as someone else. may 10 is bono, may 17 is jordan knight. it’s the 17th. then i couldn’t remember how old he was, cuz i was thinking he was 35 recently, past few years, but i thought he was born in 1960…so that didn’t work out. he’ll be 37. but anyway, i ended up going to the imdb.com to find the info, since they’re so trustworty (instead of trust, i typed tryst….freudian slip? lol)….and yeah imdb has the Broken movie listed as one of Trent’s credits… ROFL. so i read the comments people posted about it. SO FUNNY!! they’re all like “distrubing, horrific, brilliant.” some were really funny. i dunno, they all just made me laff how horrified people were when they watched it, but keep watching it anyway LOL. i had a real video of it a few years ago but couldn’t see anything in it really so i never watched it. the comments kept talking about the Happiness in Slavery video, and how sick it was etc…and then i was thinking how Danielle ASKED ME to watch that vid… and the only thing she didn’t want to see was the penis LOL. funny stuff. i dunno. i’ll see broken eventually.

and then imdb had listed, under jordan knight’s bio, that he’s left handed. yeah real important info there LOL.

 

amy stopped by for about an hour tonight. that was nice. it was nice to have a conversation with someone. i’ve missed it. and i managed to not cry as well. which is good too. i guess me and danielle are going to go there for dinner tomorrow. which will be good. since i can’t eat here. i’m starving. maybe i’ll get dining hall food tomorrow during the day. who knows.

well i guess i’m not moving til next week. the open spaces in the other townhouses have the opportunity to be filled by the people already there – finding someone, a friend or something – and they have until next week to decide. then i can be put in one of the spaces if they’re are any left open. if not, i don’t know what i’m going to do. i’m not about to go live in a corridor style building my last semester here.

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it’s funny that i’m using “jc justin gay sex pregnancy” to search for my own website on google. hey, whatever works right?

and yeah. shit happened, can’t talk about it. i’ll just continue to get myself into more trouble that way. i’m thinking about taking down a bunch of my websites. sadly.

skipped adolescent development today…yeah first day of class and i skip. well shit came up. don’t think it would have been a good idea for me to go. so instead i drove home while hysterically crying. probably not a good idea either, but i survived. i got home REALLY FAST….i started listening to the live nin disc when i left school, wasn’t quite done with “hurt” when i pulled in my driveway. the way back to school, i listened to live nin disc 1 full time, and up to march of the pigs (track 3), plus the rest of “hurt” from before…so gee, was i speeding on the way home? i didn’t go over 90 really. only once…the rest was between 80 and 85. whatever. i survived.

so whatever. not much else to say… not allowed.

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trent “came back into my life” at the most opportune time possible….think that’s a sign?

 

i said when i woke up i wasnt going to cry today. that lasted all of 5 minutes. half of me is crying because of obvious reasons, the other half is crying because of how great and supportive my friends have been.

and then i took a shower, and got elton john’s “rocket man” in my head….yeah, i don’t know.

 

want to know where all the boys are in geneseo? political science!…i’ve never seen so many boys in one place before in 4 years of being here.

so i paid my phone bill and asked them not to turn my pin back on. so no more phone bills for me. gotta get a phone card or use my cell if i need to call anyone. it was 14$…

so next is computer art…cant imagine we’d be staying there very long. and then clinical psych. i was thinking last night i should count the days til graduation, but then i decided that would just depress me too much. i dreamed last night that i slept through all my classes today and woke up at like 4. funny, since i barely slept at all last night. it was way too fucking hot. ah well.

 

got my books. 185$…3 books. still too much, but whatever. 2 are used pieces of shit, 1 was brand new and came with a cdrom, like i’ll ever use it.

so computer art…will be fun, will be cool to learn how to use photoshop, will be easy. but it’s on a mac, and i couldn’t even figure out how to turn the thing on. then i fucked 2 of them up. one wouldn’t access the file server and then froze when i asked what was wrong with it. 2nd time was talking on AIM and opened netscape and froze it…wouldn’t restart, had to unplug it haha. but i could have taught today’s lecture. it wasn’t by our proff, he had to leave to go to the dentist…so it was by his friend from RIT…from the graphic design part or something. yeah he didnt know what he was doing half of the time, where to click, and what not. but whatever.

then clinical is gonna be super easy too. the proff is the head of the dept so he can do whatever he wants with the class LOL. 4 non cumulative exams, 5-7 page paper about one of the chapters in the book. one of the options is forensic psych, so i’m gonna do that one. but yeah, that’ll be no problem. tomorrow is adolescent development…cuz i havent taken 3 other developmental classes and each class doesn’t repeat everything every time…so whatever.

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wow i hate geneseo. haven’t been back even 2 hours yet…

info on the mysterious letter that needs to be given to me personally… “Please stop by within any of those times and I will give you your letter. This letter is from the Dean of Students office, so it is important that you get it as soon as possible.”

STILL HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IT COULD BE!!!!!!!!!….and in other news. yeah i guess they finally turned my phone pin number off for not paying my phone bill :)…tried to call my house, yeah, didn’t work – used my cell instead. so i guess i’ll go pay it tomorrow. i think its a 10$ fee to get it turned back on. so forget that, i don’t need it. i’ll just use my cell. i’m forced to keep buying minutes for it, might as well use them, right? yeah that’s what i’m saying. maybe the letter from the dean is “you will not graduate cuz you haven’t paid your phone bill” lol

so i’m all unpacked now. everything is set up. need to go put my name on all my food tho………yeah. danielle and i went to denny’s…. yeah lovely geneseo dennys and their tiny miniscule servings.. blah. BUT they have a menu that I don’t have yet!….it’s so pretty! and it’s not the latest one that David took for me either. MUST OWN!

well rachel baldwin just called again. the dean contacted her about getting the letter to me so she’s bringing it over now… great. expect another frantic post soon…

 

have i mentioned how much i fucking HATE geneseo, and how much i fucking HATE everyone here, and EVERYONE that i’ve EVER talked to on campus.

 

i want to say i love my friends…all 6 of them. and the rest of you, i hate.

to my friends. i love you all so much. i hope you know that.

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there is a little piece written by Chuck Palahniuk about when he met Brad Pitt. Chuck was jealous of Brad’s yummy pouty lips, so he bought this lip expanding thing – it was like the Sweedish Penis Enlarger pump in Austin Powers – a vacuum tube thing that swells your lips up. Chuck used it to pump up his lips and it just gave him like a big hickey around his mouth LOL. I bet Chuck was jealous of Trent’s lips when they met too…

ok, i’m so bored, so i’m looking at my site stats, and my page referals… or WHATEVER. anyway. i’m on the google part, and looking at the search quereies that made people visit my site

1. jc justin sex gay pregnancy – WTF IS THAT?!?!?! it gave them my blog archive ending on november 17th…that archive contained a survey, my bono screen caps from “What’s going on”…an article about pregnant japanese barbie (one of the search words)…ROFL and the gay sex part was about me describing the censored Frankie Goes To Hollywood video for Relax. ROFL. the justin reference was some something i said about justin pumping up britney’s fake boobs. and JC was in my talking about the mj tribute show… LOL
2. danielle dunno – gave them a page from prophetic blasphemies. the page with the conversations with bono LOL
3. bono photos – ROFLMAO IT GAVE THEM ONE OF THE CONVERSATION WITH BONO PAGES ROFLMAO SO HARD!!!!!!!
4. best thighs – gave them carolyn’s blog… so why is that on my referal page?
5. u2 larry quote joshua tree grim look – blog archive where i put my xmas list…
6. my eyes are bad – ROFL
7. spacey would – another carolyn’s blog one… wtf i so don’t get this…
8. didn t go to the bathroom – LOL
9. stp scott weiland sex pictures – gave them my dream site, where i dreamed stp was performing inside Tops and scott got naked.
10. trent reznor do drugs – gave them my dream blog about my trent dream(s)
11. grandpa’s cock – WTF!?!?!?! gave them my site cuz of pieces of an interview with bono where he said something about his grandpas farm, and then the interviewer asked him if ppl ever grab his cock LOL.
12. miss truth trent reznor nude – *mind wanders*…
13. hemerroid pictures
14. guy thumb ring – LOL gave them fab four page LOL
15. my daddy fuck my aunt – ROFLMAO omg gave them prophetic blasphemies page about the pirates ROFL
16. walmart pictures – LOL my site is the first one to come up if you search for that, ROFLMAO
17. sleeping eric – ROFL
18. pictures of slipknot killing fred durst – HAHHAHAHAHAHAH
19. slash saul hudson shower
20. bondage, scared, bitch – wow… my site comes up in some REALLY interesting searches… LOL
21. “Chris Gratton”girlfriend – HAHAHAHAH
22. toilet slave video clip
23. painless suicide – ok that’s just kinda sad LOL
24. trent reznor and children – ??????
25. michael jackson’s nose – ROFLMAO
26. i am trent reznor
27. concert boob flashes archive – LOL
28. (nude OR butt OR panty OR gymnast) girl “video clip” -member -gay -porn -xxx

ok i’m tired of this… “family orgy” and “velour buffalo” came up alot… and the hemerroids one did too LOL. and princess diana crime scene pics, and nicole brown simpson murder scene pics… LOL i should just start putting weird words into my blogs, so that they come up in weird searches… like next time someone searches for “i am trent reznor” my site is gonna come up… and they’re gonna think i’m trent…. riiiiiiiiiiight.

some people at blackplanet.com are linking MJ pics from my site…. arg, suck my bandwidth why don’t you….
LOL someone did a google image search for Ronald Regan and got my Space Project pictures ROFL. and someone did an image search for “tight shirt” and got a picture of Eric’s car from the fab four site ROFL HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?! An image search for “3 some” got the pic of me danielle and eric after the 3dd show hahaha.
OMG THERE WAS A TONY DANZA NAKED SEARCH!!!!!!!!! I BET THAT WAS CAROLYN!!!!!!!!! ROFLMAO

uh someone got to my site from nin.com….6 times….in january….*freaks out*…how is that possible?\

 

not quite sure how i manage to do this but i found, yet another, u2 based blog…all i did was search yahoo for “blog addicts” LOL and i find Irish Eyes v 4.0 bonnie blue bono….and a nice lovely bono-ized layout. lol.
and now i’m watching hedwig again – reminds me of the blog i found yesterday that the ppl on it were COMPLETELY and UTTERLY obsessed with hedwig and john cameron mitchell. hah

 

i’m depressing myself…. i figured if i really wanna persue a webdesign career, i need to find a school with a program. well i can’t really find anything, at least in buffalo. it appears that UB and buff state don’t have web programs.. i found one that did, forget which now…but i already have a bachelors degree (er i will), i dont want to have to take fucking english, and humanities, and all these other stupid required core type classes AGAIN. i already took them once. i just want to find a school with a 2 year program or something, that i would only have to take classes in computer stuff…whatever is required for the additional degree. whatever school it was that had an info tech degree with web development concentration required like…intro to sociology, and intro to psych, and like 6 humanities classes… SIX!!!!!!!! i’ve already taken this shit….this makes me want to just go to grad school and get a masters or something. but i don’t want to do psych!!!….i guess my dad saw an ad or something for a school psych job…50,000 starting salary, only needed a masters. not bad…but I DONT WANT TO DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arg….why can’t a really cool job that i like just fall in my lap?! lol i wish i had some kind of special talent that i could harness into some job that people needed….
i could go to itt tech or whatever, but then eric and the rit friends would laff at me cuz i was going to such a wussass school… i sorta like their program tho, cuz i dont have to take all that gay ass shit. its just like straight computer classes, and then 6 gen-ed courses, like composition, and economics, college math (yeah that’s a laff), group dynamics (rofl i’m a PSYCH MAJOR for gods sake lol), and contemporary art LOL…and then at least i’d have another piece of paper telling people i am worthy of employment, but still not get hired anywhere. i dunno…arg.

 

 

i poked myself in the face, like towards the back of my jaw, and now it’s all outta wack and hurts when i open it.
danny lohner is so sexy….and the sexy trent starfuckers part…rowr men with guitars

 

if i was danny lohner and was constantly headbanging while playing keyboard, i’d be smacking my head on it all the time…i think i heard something that he has done it, but i’d be doing it every time…or he smacked his head on his guitar..or that could have been robin actually, all i know for sure is that trent threw a mic stand and knocked jerome dillon unconscious one time… LOL.. and one time i smacked my head on the sink like that, when my mom was dying my hair. hurt SO bad i thought i was gonna die… and trent is so buff now…gee, guess what i’m watching, again.
 

so ty just sent me all these mj pics from the new issue of Vibe… he doesn’t look like a COMPLETE freak…i mean, his face is beyond normal now…but the pics are kinda normalish…BAD hair tho.

and on a happy note, rumors that U2 is gonna be playing dates in the US in february!!! which is like a week away…but playing college arenas between the superbowl (feb 3) and the grammy’s (feb 23 or something)…arlsdfkejwa;oriausdfliasndflaksjf!!!!!!!!!

 

i love cities. even buffalo makes me so happy. i went to the flea market, saw joe’s dad…he surprised me, cuz he’s like SARA! and i’m like, uh who’s talking to me. LOL he said joe was around someplace but i never found him. then i walked by his stand again and he kinda like hit me, and was like “alone still” and i’m like yeah i haven’t found joe…it was sorta weird. so then i went downtown, figured i’d go to new world records, see if they had any of the nin promo posters and what not…they didn’t, even tho they had the window cling on the door… i was gonna steal it, but i missed my chance. but they changed so much. they sell other stuff now…like lil toy things, and tin lunch boxes and stuff…and it’s all rearranged…but anyway. over priced, so didn’t buy anything, not like they had anything i wanted. i also went into this store called something Trash…or Trash something.. i dunno. but it’s across and down the street a bit. i never noticed it before. it’s clothes…and it’s cool clothes. sorta goth, but really…u could find gothy stuff there, but it’s just got cool clothes. small, so didn’t have much, but it was a cool place, and if it’s still there next time i come home i’ll have to stop in again. i need a concert shirt… but anyway. i was walking back to my car and there was this black guy walking down the middle of the street that bisects elmwood in that area…he had a big boom box, blasting Lenny Kravitz “dig in” and he was carrying a baton…lol he was so flamboyantly gay as well. then i heard this little girl say, “he’s a crazy man, why would you want to carry a radio” LOL…. but it made me so happy, just seeing such a colorful person…you definitely don’t get that in the suburbs. but i also hate citites…i was gonna go to home of the hits too, but no parking…never any parking. went around the block, no parking on the side street eric always parks on…arg. so skipped them and went to frizbees. frizbees rocks… i always find some piece of junk cd i need to own. this time it was U2 “even better than the real thing” remixes for 3 bucks. so i bought that. and they had the nin promo window cling too. i asked the guy a few weeks ago if he had anything else he’d give me and he said no, but i asked again anyway LOL. the girl who cashed me out said they only had these nin stickers… so she gave me like 6. it’s the NIN logo sticker like is on my car. but now i have 6 more LOL. so then i came home, cleaned my car…vaccumed, cleaned the windows, tried to maybe erase the scratches on the car with windex (didn’t work LOL)….
so leaving for school tomorrow around 4:30…maybe earlier depending on how the baby shower goes, and how long it takes me to pack my car. i dunno how we’re gonna fit all our shit inside…cuz i got my computer and laundry basket that i brought home for break…then i got the vcr, dvd and tv….groceries…clothes i got for xmas…yeah. and then there’s danielle’s shit which is gonna be just as much as me…grocerys, lanudry basket, etc…arg. it’s so not all gonna fit…

when i was driving home i was listening to the nin live cd, and i’m surprised i didn’t burn out my speakers LOL..it wasn’t THAT loud really, but i had the windows open (cuz my car smelled like food) so i had to turn it up louder whenever i was going fast. LOL…but anyway, “wish” was on and that reminded me of how when we went to toronto for new years, danielle mentioned that she had seen some NIN video for a “w” song on mtv 2 and that she kinda liked it. so of course i was like OMG WHAT SONG!! and i’m trying to think of W songs by NIN…well it was Wish, so i had to put in Broken for the rest of the ride to carolyn’s house. LOL and when discussing cds to listen to in the car in toronto, eric said that we should make danielle listen to Broken, and it turns out we did LOL. and broken is the cd i would think a casual NIN fan (or someone who DESPISES them like danielle does :P) would like the least. but anyway…yeah it just struck me in the car to be very amusing. dunno. danielle is SO being forced to listen to “still” tomorrow…it’s only a 45 min cd, she’ll survive

so anyway, now i’m kinda cold cuz i cleaned my car without a coat on. it’s a super beautiful day out, and i could go totally coatless if it wasn’t for the wind. which reminds me, this big piece of aluminum siding is falling off the house 3 away from mine…it was super windy last night, so i all i heard was the banging of this piece of siding against their house…SUPER ANNOYING. but i think the wind finally ripped it off cuz i don’t hear it anymore.

i think my mom is taking a nap in her room, which means i can’t put any music on BLAH….

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the meathead perspective is this kinda… nin parody…making fun of them… humor…uh…thing. yeah. anyway, there is a new one that is reviewing the dvd,cd and still….and it’s super funny, so i have to type it out for everyone’s enjoyment, because i know any of you really give a shit
“Honestly, it’s hard to make fun of this cd, because the fact of the matter is, it’s really fucking good. I don’t mean good as in “this is a good cheesburger” either. More like, “this is the best goddamn cheeseburger I’ve ever fucking eaten in my entire motherfucking life, and whoever made this cheeseburger should get a motherfucking Nobel Prize.” Except this CD is better than a cheeseburger……..*blahblahblah*……At the risk of sounding like a kiss-ass, I’d just like to say OMG TRENT IS A GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! NIN R0X0R5!!!!!!!!!!!! This is one of the first CDs that I’ve listened to in quite a while that has no skippable tracks. Every song on this album is worth listening to repeatedly for a ridiculous length of time. Buy this fucking CD, jerk!”

ROFLMAO

 

i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry, i can’t help it. i love trent.

 

i must admit, i’ve been feeling very vindicitive lately…in particular to just one person. i’m just really tired of this person’s bullshit. i haven’t even had to experience any of it in a while, but…yeah. i dunno. but i realized…i made a comment this summer i think, about how i can tell what someone is like, or what state of mind they’re in by their AIM profile/away messages….and i just realized that this person’s profile is the most accurate profile i’ve ever seen of anyone i know…it makes me laugh how true it is…

 

this is a paraphrase of something carolyn told me, which she paraphrased from someone who told her….

if you don’t like my obsessions then dont read my blog

 

 

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i’m tired. can’t shower cuz my mom is doing laundry, so i’m just gonna have to be scummy. i’m starving to death. work was boring. i got to tell Pam that her accident was karma for hitting me…yeah so it was good. and as much as i want to, i’m not going to talk about trent.

 

fyi…i want “leaving hope” played at my funeral…

 

it’s ok that i’m posting this. cuz I’m not talking about trent… he’s talking about himself…

“Some of it is the band playing live in rehearsals,” Reznor said. “Some of it is alternate ways to present some songs. Some of it is stripped-down versions we did for radio shows. And some of it is instrumental bits that I thought tied everything together to make a nice soundtrack for a rainy Sunday afternoon. That’s what I was going for. And the point of including it with the live CD was to kind of show the dichotomy of what we can be. There’s a live, kind of smashing performance and then there’s another side of us that’s a bit more gentle, a little reflective.”

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one of trent’s fav internet sites is hotornot.com ROFLMAO…which reminds me, eric, how u doing on there??

so i had a very weird day. someone called us at 6 am or so.. woke me up, of course. then my parents got up, and my dad didn’t go to work cuz he had an interview today. so this was around 7:30 or 8 that i hear them talking. then my mom is walking around upstairs and her sneakers are SQUEAKING so loud it woke me up… so i’m sorta half sleeping, just wanting to go back to sleep before i had to get up. then someone calls, and my mom comes in my room with her squeaky shoes. my manager at work got into a car accident and they wanted me to come in early. so i asked who it was, and my mom said Carol (there is no Carol)…so i’m like whatever. So I go in, and turns out, it was Pam who got into the accident. She smashed directly into a light pole in the plaza parkinglot at 5 this morning (the lot is empty)….she is ok, went to the hospital cuz she was sore and everything…whiplash. she must have hit it REALLY hard, cuz her van is completely smashed.

so…weird thing about that is.. Pam slapped me on monday. So i was telling this girl i know about it, who sent out bad vibes to Pam…and then she gets in an accident. talk about karma.

and then, i was completely not myself today. i felt so weird. and then i was having flashes that i was other people…LOL i know, i’m insane… it’s called a dissociative disorder LOL. but it was the strangest thing. i’d move a certain way, and i’d totally think i was someone else. yeah, not gonna talk about it anymore, or who it involved…so now i’m off to the psych ward haha

 

i was going to try real hard today not to go on and on about trent reznor and how amazed i still continue to be by the new stuff….but i can’t help it, ok, so deal with it…
from chicago tribune interview with trent:
“You get off track of your priorities. You can say it won’t happen to you, but it has happened to me. To the point where I have had to stop the train and say why am I doing this? The last album doing not as well has given me the courage and humbleness to make better music in the future, to put less attention on catering to an audience that is preventing me from making the truest art I can. You have to do it for yourself, yourself only. I have to keep that in mind. I am keeping that in mind.”

I hope to god that he doesn’t really feel that way…and that he doesn’t think The Fragile was not good music. because is one of the best albums i’ve ever heard.

 

am i weird that i could fall asleep to NIN?…. i’ve fallen to sleep to Prodigy and Metallica among others…

 

1. best moment from the dvd, like most artistic, or whatever (not my fav teenie bopper moments or anything like that lol)….during closer, the middle part of the song, the tv screen is black til the orange screens flash, and after the first flash of orange and then black, the screens flash on and it’s trent’s shadow on the orange. super great
2. i really don’t know the words to “suck”
3. the hidden “reptile” performance has got to be the best live version of the song i’ve heard…after the beginning part Charlie just wanders away, walks around, comes back…and it must have been done pretty early on into the show, cuz trent still has black lipstick smeared on half his face. god i love this song.
4. at some point eric and i had this discussion about what instrument danny lohner plays. and i dont even remember what differing sides of this point we were on, but i THINK i was saying he played bass, and guitar, and eric said he played guitar. well i’m so right, cuz i knew the tour guide said he played bass, guitar, keyboards vocals…so eric immed me yesterday saying that danny plays guitar during the wretched on the dvd…yeah, cuz i SAID he played guitar. but i also SAID he played bass. so now that i’m watching the dvd again i paid more attention….you can distinctly tell when danny is playing bass, versus guitar. cuz he stands and acts differently. and i realized that trent plays bass on at least 2 of the instrumentals…i think the mark has been made and complication. for sure complication cuz it was just on. hah. and i know trent played bass when manson came out in NYC to do beautiful people…so there. i’m still right.

 

this cd makes me so inspired (geee guess which cd)…makes me want to play piano again (if i had any sheet music and if i could remember how to read bass clef…i could figure it out real quick if i really wanted to)…makes me want to write again…i’ve been writing a bit, i’ve been doing some stuff for the MPS, but i have so little control of what’s going on, it’s not enough for me…and this cd makes me wanna go back to a storyline i had been writing before – before it went all haywire. maybe i should go back and read it.

 

it’s always been kind of interesting to look for the melodic patterns in NIN albums…like, the downward spiral has that one piano melody that goes through the entire album…and the fragile has the into the void melody in various songs…well the instrumental part of “the fragile” (song) before the end climax is the same melody as “the frail” i’ve just noticed.

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NIN “And All That Could Have Been” DVD release

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I posted 26 times the day the DVD came out. Here you go.

 

woo hoo dvd!!!!! went out at like 10:30 to get all my stuff. well barnes and nobles didn’t have the dvd…they said they didn’t get the shipment of all their new releases and they’d probably get it tonight, but if i wanted it to go to best buy LOL so i did. but that means i had to spend my own cash on it, and i STILL HAVE THOSE STUPID GIFT CERTIFICATES!!!!!! since i bought the cd yesterday at record theatre…ARG. but i got it at best buy, ended up getting the dts version… like it matters. i just grabbed one LOL. and i got my u2 cd at target. yeah the songs sound so different not on mp3s on my shitty comp speakers. haha. the one song “always” is like, a different version of beautiful day. the guitar and base part of the chorus is the same as beautiful day. it’s rad. anyway…. going to watch dvd now. i promise i wont blog til i watch at least all of the concert….all that hidden stuff is gonna piss me off LOL

 

ok i lie, i opened the dvd up, and there is this plastic bookmark thing in a pocket of the box (which is left handed also) it explains what the dvd was supposed to achieve and stuff….hehe

 

dts doesnt work on my tv apparently….cuz there was no sound playing lol. switched to dolby or whatever and yeah now i’m going deaf…i need a new tv…everytime there is like a big guitar or drum sound, my tv goes staticy LOL….ok yeah its really annoying. its funny to watch this and see the insanity of it all, and then think about what an amazing crowd we had for the show in toronto.

wow…the wretched…definite highlight of the dvd so far….my tv stopped being so staticy…maybe it wasnt my tv, maybe it was the dvd….arg. “the mark has been made” ….why am i such a sucker for the instrumentals? i mean this song is so brilliant. and its so fucking great live…lovelovelovelove it. theres some nice shots during that song…robin fink is such a freak. how is he gonna fit in with guns n roses?? and love danny lohner…he’s so great. and trent is so great when he plays guitar…hah. hes so short, and its just so cute. hahah…it’s kinda funny cuz they recorded all the shows and combined them, to watch robin fink’s hair grow….from shaved, to short mohawk, to bald to bigger mohawk etc….hahah. and it’s funny how robin fink can go fall down and knock charlie clouser down, and everything still sounds good… like it was supposed to be that way LOL. wtf…hah…after “complication” u have to switch to disc 2 hhahahah….i guess this is a good time for a lunch break since i’m starving to death.

 

ive never been a huge fan of “suck” but this performance rocks… i’m biased. i want to hear “last” off broken instead of suck…but yeah, this rocks. i get to have my teenie bopper moment now…. omg trent is so hot during “closer” hahahahah….omg i totally take back what i said to adr last night about my ultimate trent fantasy LOL. the lighting and stuff during “closer” was so rad. i remember being so impressed by it at the show, and yeah, it rocks on here. LOL trent rubbing robin fink’s forehead….lol robin on the ground now. 3 keyboards and 1 guitar during this song…yay smashed keyboard!! trent is gonna get danny electrocuted if he keeps dumping water on him like that. hahh….wow they really did combine a bunch of performances. in the past 30 seconds of “head like a hole” trent has been playing 3 different guitars, and robin’s hair grew…no wonder it took so long to edit this freaking thing…what the hell is that little box thing that charlie plays..he like smacks it around and it makes sounds LOL…he uses it during some song on the first disc, and he’s using it now in “just like you imagined”…another great instrumental lol. OMG IM SORRY another teenie bopper moment…starfuckers, holy shit…hahah.

THEY DIDNT ROLL THE CREDITS DURING HURT!!!!!!!!! YAYYYYYYYY

hurt is so amazing…they keep showing the audience in the front row, and everyone is like singing, eyes closed…this one kid is crying..you can see the power of that song in all the people there…wow.

i wanna work for nothing records. i wanna be rob sheridan…lucky bastard. runs a nin fan site and then gets hired to run nin.com and go on tour with them to record the tour and then make the dvd….and he’s cute too.

trent thanks daisy may….that’s his dog. all together now – awwwwwwww

wow that was so great. i need a new tv now, and surround sound so i can watch it again the way it was intended to be…

i get pissed at trent cuz he takes so goddamn long to do anything, but then it’s always worth the wait in the end. he doesn’t put out shit. and like i said before when i noticed the 3 diff guitars… if him and rob sheridan went through every taped performance to splice together elements from all different ones…wow yeah that’s mighty time consuming and i’d probably have a fit and trash it halfway through lol…and it looks so good too. except for the changes in hair, clothes and guitars u can’t tell that it wasn’t 1 show. and if you don’t pay attention u’d never know lol. so off to find the hidden shit now….

 

well i found something…. LOL…
disc 2, supplimental content…go left from main menu, then hit enter. then down to main menu, left again, up, enter…it’s one of the trailers for “the fragile” featuring la mer and into the void…let’s see if i can do this again…hah i rock.

the still photo gallery is HUGE… aww trent’s dog…aelkrsldf hot trent in the limo with manson in starfuckers…

 

hehe my fav moment of the whole dvd is “i’ll be there for you as long as it works for me” in starfuckers…*dies*

 

omgomg managed to find a performance of “reptile” my fav nin song… er one of them. HOLY SHIT this is so great…i so wish they had played this in our show… omg this song is so great live. awerayhsdflknasrlawe….to remind myself disc 2. title 5, chapter 3.

hfs this is so great. ahhhhhh…ooommmmmmg trent whipsering “please dont hurt me” hahaha

 

yay for the cheater way to find stuff….title 5 chapter 4….trailer for things falling apart….
chapter 2 and 5 are just blank black screens…nothing is playing…
chapter 6 the manson starfuckers NYC thing…and beautiful people…god it would have been INSANE to be there for this. its cool to see trent just jammin and not singing and stuff…this is so great.
chapter 7 is blank
chapter 8…red…the day the world went away….and like a feather falling over this red/orange background…pictures of nature…half of trents face…nature…trent…covering his face with his hand…orange again. nature again…a snake….trents eyes and top of his head…live shots of the song…back to orange room and feather…
chapter 9 is the fragile trailer i found without doing the cheating thing….
chapter 10 a different fragile trailer featuring “the way out is through” and then trent singing part of it…super short, but rad.ok back to disc 1
can’t get it to be non dts, but title 3 is the alternate angle views for gave up, la mer, the great below, and the mark has been made…which u can get to through the menu…so i guess there isn’t any hidden stuff on disc 1…

back to disc 2 to watch reptile again 🙂

 

it’s weird that the cd and dvd are both halo 17…i thought the dvd would be halo 18…cuz closure had a different halo number than the downward spiral…

 

mmm yeah so the dvd is fantastic. it would have been amazing to see it on the IMAX in toronto last week. you can always depend on trent for putting out a quality product does anyone have a suround sound setup in their house, with a dvd player, that will let me come over?!

 

right so i’ve been asking myself this question the whole time…the dvd was available in dts and dolby…and i bought the dts one, which wont play cuz i dont have dts…and i would think that it would still PLAY but just not sound all spiffified or whatever it’s supposed to be…well ok whatever. the dts version has the dolby option on it tho…. so why have 2 different dvds for sale if both options are on the dts version?….and now i’m reading this article with trent about making the dvd, and he’s like “So we had to make the decision to put just Dolby on one version of the DVD and just DTS on another version.”…..but dolby and dts are on the dts version?!?! and i’m so confused…hah

 

“A few months ago I started working on new music for Nine Inch Nails and a lot of it was coming out real fast, to the point where it worried me that it must not be that good. So I took a couple of months off. Now I’m going back and looking at things, and it’s exciting. I feel the weight has been lifted from me. So I’m hoping to get the next record out in the next 15 years.” – trent

 

new rolling stone magazine…
1. it’s amazing how much i DONT look at ads…i’m reading an article blurb in “random notes” and the page next to it is a big full page ad for the U2 cd at target lol.
2. and i thought this quote was super rad….”we don’t have patriotism in England like you do in America. That went out with the First World War – when it was proved to be a load of bollocks” – mick jagger
3. and this is just perfect…”When asked recently why she (britney spears) covered Joan Jett’s “i love rock and roll” on her new album, Britney replied, “because i love pat benetar!”” ROFLMAO

 

i need a looped mpeg of “i’ll be there for you as long as it works for me” part of the dvd…god…lol.

 

i could listen to the “still” disc on repeat for the rest of my life

 

just wanna say… i am so happy. my parents were in the bathroom, i guess my dad was shaving or something cuz he has an interview tomorrow. and so i walk out in the hall and my mom is yelling at him that he has to wear nice shoes, cuz that’s the first thing men look at in an interview. and it was just sorta funny. so i’m just standing there smiling. and my dad is like, why are you smiling. and i’m like… wow, i don’t really know, i just am. so my mom is still saying something about shoes, and again my dad is like, why are you smiling, and i’m like it’s just funny. so then went downstairs to have some nachos, and i put Frasier on. and niles is just sitting on screen, roz is talking to him, and i’m just smiling and niles said something and i laffed, and i’m like I LOVE HIM. my dad is like, just don’t try to be like him. LOL…and i kept laffing at the show cuz it was funny. and i’m like, yes i am so happy right now. my parents arent used to seeing me happy.

 

i read this review of and all that could have been from rolling stone when i got the issue a few weeks ago. just reread it cuz it appeared on yahoo… yeah, it’s a brilliant review. it totally captures some of the things that i thought about it, and why i love it so much.

“While for most musicians live albums are little more than concert souvenirs or holiday-season cash-ins, that’s not true of Nine Inch Nails. Trent Reznor has always seen his music as an endless work in progress. Releasing songs, EPs and albums in various versions, he has managed to turn his obsessive refusal to stop tinkering into a compelling aesthetic. What drives him is his inability after the “completion” of any project to see it in any terms other than how far it fell short of his expectations. So, And All That Could Have Been, NIN’s first live album, announces itself in its very title as a disappointment.

Of course, it’s not. Its sixteen songs offer a gripping document of NIN’s mind-blowing 2000 tour in support of The Fragile — a tour that this magazine rightly declared the best of that year………..

Needless to say, Reznor could hardly let it go at that. A limited-edition version of And All That Could Have Been, titled Still, includes an additional disc of songs (“The Fragile,” “The Day the World Went Away”) recorded “live in a deconstructed fashion,” including four new pieces. That disc is well worth seeking out. All the songs are quiet, lyrical and deeply unsettling — persuasive proof, if any is even needed at this point, of the musicality that underlies Reznor’s most ear-shattering work, and of his ability to disturb even at his moments of greatest beauty.”

and as if my day couldn’t get any better (well i could physically feel better but…) U2 is performing at the Grammys!!! yaaaay…when is the show? oh feb 27th…when’s the superbowl?

 

“still” totally makes me want to start playing piano again…

 

have i mentioned that headphones are the greatest invention EVER!?!?!?!?!

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