Category Archives: Personal

i ended up going to the casino tonight after work. it was this one girls birthday so a few of us went up when we got out early at 12. won some, then lost it. whatever.

my grandpa is really about to die. apparently he’s in the hospital with some sort of skin infection. he’s on antibiotics but in his weakened state this could kill him.

ug my face is all breaking out horribly. blaaaaaaaaaaah. and my legs are so sore from exploring. it killed me to walk back and forth between “the island” and the dining room at work.

so tired now. and hungry. and annoyed at my neighbors who use my garbage can outside but then don’t take it to the curb for garbage day. so i left them a note in front of their door. hah. i can’t wait to move out of here.

 

metrosexual (met.roh.SEK.shoo.ul) n. An urban male with a strong aesthetic
sense who is a heterosexual, but is not afraid to show his feministic side.
Also often used to describe a heterosexual man with mannerisms or
affectations commonly associated with homosexual men.
-metrosexuality n.

Example Citation:

At dinner the other night, my date listed the calorie count of the main
entrees, raising an eyebrow at my chicken Alfredo selection after he had
ordered a salad. I saw him check his reflection in the silver water pitcher
three times. During dessert, he looked deeply into my eyes and told me he
thought what we have together is very special. It was our third date.

It was then that I realized why my dating life has been as mysterious as the
Bermuda Triangle since I arrived in Washington DC. This city, unlike any
other place I’ve lived, is a haven for the metrosexual. A metrosexual, in
case you didn’t catch any of several newspaper articles about this
developing phenomenon (or the recent “South Park” episode on Comedy
Central), is a straight man who styles his hair using three different
products (and actually calls them “products”), loves clothes and the very
act of shopping for them, and describes himself as sensitive and romantic.
In other words, he is a man who seems stereotypically gay except when it
comes to sexual orientation.
-Alexa Hackbarth, “Vanity, Thy Name Is Metrosexual,” The Washington Post,
November 17, 2003

Example Metrosexuals: David Beckham, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Robbie
Williams, Ian Thorpe, David Bowie and all members of the band Orgy.

I LOVE METROSEXUALS….gah. hahah

yeah…dealing…didn’t happen. called me at 20 to 7 to suit up. 6-2 tomorrow dealing, pretty sure i’ll stay dealing. and get out at 12. that’d be super nice.

my legs/feet hurt from walking through snow today. i’ll say it again, walking through the snow is a skill and it uses muscles you don’t normally use when walking. so i’m a bit sore. from that and from falling out the window at concrete central even though james was there to catch me if i was about to face plant. odd how i wouldn’t slide down the remnants of a staircase with no stairs, but i’d fall out a 7 or 8 foot window drop. i just could see myself getting more hurt sliding down the stair remains…

so anyway. really tired, gotta get up for the stupid doctor at 11. blah. maybe i’ll nap the rest of the day since i’m an early start. do some more work on delirious build 2. i’m almost done, i swear…well i lie. i’m done with the archives. i haven’t started the music section yet…gah…and i need to do a cool bio still…and re-picturize the gallery…

oh the big news of the day is…no matter what, leighanne will be living here may 1st. hopefully sooner IF SOMEONE WOULD JUST HIRE HER. hah

and i changed my vacation from march 22nd, to april 26th…i wanted off for the APC concert so when i dye my hair black i can give it a few days to heal before stripping it again…except that APC is the 22nd…hah i’ll just have to work with black hair for 3 days.

*sings* it’s a beautiful day….

headed out to the first ward with brian and james. finally got to see concrete central. lovely place. i think i got sunburned…

i don’t really feel myself today tho for whatever reason. i’m sorta spaced out. so i apologize if i was acting weird today.

now the question is, do i take a nap, or a shower…dealing tonight at 8.

work was long but it was ok. floored mini bacc last night. wasn’t a big deal. tho the other floor tried to get me in trouble. whatever. when the grave dealers came in one of my dealers was a girl who used to be on my shift. so i got to talk to her, it was fun. got to talk about…stuff  and yeah. it was good. didn’t get stuck doing overtime thankfully.

my paycheck was wrong this week. they paid me approx 115$ too much. since i’m such a nice, moral, honest person i actually told them about it when most people would have taken it and ran. what do you think the chances are that they’ll think “what a wonderful girl, so honest to tell us about our mistake, we should award her for her honesty by giving her the 115$ as a bonus.”……slim to none. ah well.

slept til 3 today, blah. now i have to dry my hair, eat, and go back to work in an hour 20…

made some changes. i got rid of my dark room that i never used. i realized that the only thing i want to be able to do atm is develop my own film. which i can do in the bathtub. so my lease runs out at the end of march. went to the parents to see my dad for his bday and got some jugs he used to hold his chemicals. he’s still looking for the developing canisters but i might go ahead and get some on ebay. and then find out what chemicals to buy. he gave me a bottle of stop bath from 1975 LOL. yeah.

incase you hadn’t heard…. Oral sex linked to mouth cancer…

and in completely unrelated news…

la la la. had a lovely night with the boys. brian came by around 9 and james followed later. hit the ghetto dennys, and decided we need a new place to eat. our waiter was sorta cool tho. he knew who lacuna coil is (he complimented my shirt) and invited us to his band’s cd release party in buffalo in march. i forget the name of his band…herod? something like that. *bad memory* he said they play like 80s metal, but not shitty metal. a combo of metallica and iron maiden so he said. too bad the party is on a saturday. came back here and watched death to smoochy. i still think that movie is funny. robin williams might be the funniest person on earth. lots of drugs hahah. gave brian his gift for his new job as BCT police. james was fascinated with my coasters. good times. and they liked my hair haha.

took a bunch of self portraits. maybe they turned out. i have 6 pics left to take on that roll, maybe i will finally remember to take a picture of the rose on the sign post near the abortion clinic tomorrow. take my film in to get processed when i go pick up my other 2 rolls.

tomorrow i have nothing to do. i thought about going out to the other mall to see if the other hot topic has my shoes in my size, but i dunno if i feel like doing that anymore. tony said he’d call me if him and dave are going to do something tomorrow. i guess tony’s girlfriend wants to go bond with dave’s cat. hahah. then i could finally meet her and she could see that i’m not a threat and no longer hate me. if she only knew tony was my secret valentines day admirer hahaha. but anyway, dave lives near the other mall, so it might work out that i am out that way anyway, and i can find my shoes.

tired but i know i wont sleep yet. i’m sorta hungry, but i don’t want to eat. oh well.

 

the site recontenting was going very slowly because i got to a point in my archives where i didn’t want to read them anymore. the point where i met nate. but i forced myself to read them, and then got to the point where he left.

nate leaving was the most painful thing that happened to me in my entire life. reading it still upsets me. i dont know if i’m upset at myself, or at what happened.

last night i told james that there are times when i hate nate. that i hate nate for making me have feelings when i did such a good job as a teenager to eradicate them.

i hate nate right now.

i need to stop crying so i can leave the apt and pick up my film.

fuck.

 

took in my “sara as a whore” self portraits to get done for tomorrow. my corset tank top that i ordered from victoria secret came today, but i don’t like it, so sending it back. so it’s a good thing i bought the sleezy shirt at tjmax. on my way to get film i stopped at frisbs and picked up 30 seconds to mars for 3 bucks. cool record.

now i’m here. and bored. i found a site where you can play match game and family feud and stuff online. fun stuff. uproar.com

 

ha ha heather is funny

Darknyss6: he looks cute, from what you can tell 🙂
Darknyss6: yes definately
Darknyss6: I went up close to the screen HAHA

“Trent Reznor recently spoke with Rolling Stone, who today published bits of that talk.

NIN plan to hit the road in the next few months to preview the new material.”

well trent needs to figure that shit out NOW so i can change my vacation week. apparently i could, at this very moment, change my vacation to next week if i needed to. a bunch of people want me to go to vegas with them next week. doug volunteered to go ask scheduling to switch my vacation. and he actually did, and they actually said yes. i’m like noooo i can’t go, i have responsibilities. but if trent is going to be touring soon….that’s an entirely different story. gaaaaaaaaah

all i gotta say is it’s PERFECT timing for an orgy/nin tour. i’d quit my job for that ROFL. holy fuck what if trent played a preview show at the casino. i’d sleep with everyone in the place in order to get a chance to meet him. gaaaaaaah. if i had to deal to him, i totally wouldn’t be able to. hahahah.

 

if you are buying shitty t-shirts from g&g that say “goth girl” on them, you’re not goth. and if you are buying shitty things from claires that say “punk royalty” you are not punk.

went shopping today. wasn’t completely annoyed either. i bought a pair of “whore boots” that i’m not sure if i’ll ever wear but they were onsale. and a pair of sketchers sneakers that were on clearance. almost found patent leather mary janes, but they were kids…and the patent leather shoes i did find for me, they didn’t have my size. and of course, the ideal pair of shoes at hot topic only came in size 6…WHO HAS SIZE SIX FEET?! whatever. i also bought a really sleezy shirt at tjmax.

i’m in total goth mode thanks to orgy. spent too much money on concert accessories…fake hair, lots of makeup, the boots, etc.

orgy is so great though. everyone who thinks they’re just mainstream eletronic metal, you suck. and you’re wrong. cuz they fucking rock. they are so snotty, it’s fabulous. jay can’t sing without sounding snotty. “dizzy” is the perfect fuck off song.

anyway. i’ve got a wicked headache, so i stopped at starbucks to get my mocha coconut frap (which they only sell at barnes and noble) to give me a caffeine rush before i could get home to drugs. the store does carry the bagel digest, so when i make my publishing debut, you can all go buy it.

i wore my red coat to the mall and everyone stared at me. fuck off, yes i have a bright red coat, and i can rock it like no body’s business

i think it’s funny that sanrio has produced a goth hello kitty. hahah.

at b&n i randomly picked up this magazine called b&w. it’s a photo magazine, and the page it opened to was about a photographer named Bruce Haley who does…surprise…urbex photography. i was like..surprised to see it. he had good shots, but it was nothing all that special, nothing particularly better than stuff brian and i have taken…i don’t know what my point is in all this but…whatever. the pics on his site are the ones that were in the magazine. me and brian could have totally taken them… it’s just we don’t go to eastern europe frequently. haha

and bad things…lacuna coil are in hot topic now…they had the cds in the listening booth. DONT DESTROY MY BAND AND MAKE THEM SHITTY AND MAINSTREAM PLEASE. they already re-recorded the heavens a lie video and made it mtv worthy crap…THEY’RE MINE DAMNIT!

ok i’m done.

orgy got me snobby.

brian’s coming over later to do something. dunno what. my mom said not to let him take pictures of me with no clothes, so now we have to figureout something else to do

 

HA. i don’t remember when i filed my complaint, but i just got a check in the mail for 13.86$…my portion of the settlement from the Compact Disc Minimum Advertised Price Antitrust Litigation. WOO HOO! that justifies me buying fake hair.

and i really wish i had my dad’s digi cam here still, cuz i was playing around with my “look” and i think i look hot. i’m wearing my whore boots around the apartment since i may never wear them out anyplace LOL.

brian will have to forgive my retarded appearance when he gets here.

2 old men hit on me yesterday. and we’re not talking my parents age old, we’re talking grandparents age old. at least 60. barf. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.

got suited up at work, so no going home early for me. although i was relief so that was my chance to screw the other floors on my string and take the 3:15 early out break. woo. got home and couldn’t sleep. didn’t get to sleep til sometime after the sun was coming out. blah.

i was going to go shopping today but i think i’ll save that for tomorrow. hopefully i can stay dealing and leave early tonight. would be nice.

my mom keeps continuing her rant on how awful my hair is and how unprofessional it looks, especially considering i’m on the ctrc board, i should look nice and professional. and people at work keep telling me how much they like my hair better now.

 

ug i hate shoes. but i need new ones. and i need concert shoes. i either want whore boots or patent leather mary janes. everything i find is platform and i don’t want platform shoes. ug. found a rad site that sells lots of cool makeup for not as expensive prices as mac and urban decay. yay!!

amanda rocks!!! she sent me stolen in flight safety cards and barf bags from russian and canadian airlines!!! yaaaay.

wow i really hate this design. i need to hurry up and finish the recontenting so i can put up the new one.

slept too long today. blah. i actually dealt last night for a full 8 hours. it was fun.

i have nothing to say.

but i will say. damn. these cookies that jasen brought over last week are super yummy. and i usually think choco chip cookies taste like nothing. *eats whole bag*

 

ok. i’m not quite sure what to say about this. you sorta have to take a look yourselves. i mean, really, WHO KNEW THIS EXISTED. and wow the japanese are a bit demented.

so take a look: the top 10 erotic nintendo games

believe me. it’s quite unbelievable.

something is wrong. it’s 3:55am and i’m not still at work. i didn’t have to do overtime today. holy crap.  good thing too, cuz if one more scummy old man kissed my hand, asked me to dance, or said i had to go out with him, i was going to bash some heads.

i was laughing to myself in the car tho. orgy’s “the obvious” was on, with these lyrics:
“Wake me from this altered state
My future’s looking, brighter all the time
I’m stumbling and delirious

Something’s changed since those teenage days
I’m growing into my own”

and they seemed so fitting to me now. i have a great life. so it made me laugh. despite work sucking major this week, i still have a super duper life right now. and i will thank you all again for making it rock so hard. reading through my archives, my life is so drama free. seems like the entire last semester at geneseo was full of drama. drama with housemates, drama with friends, drama drama drama. lol. i haven’t been involved in drama in over a year really. it’s nice. hah.

4th night of overtime. that’s so not happy. and there was no reason this time, when it’s the weekend and grave took out 10-6 floors, and the 10-6ers disappeared instead of taking me out TO CLOSE ONE FRIGGEN GAME. ug. pissed. on top of that, my schedule next week sucks. friday 10-6, saturday 6-2. yeah so my entire saturday will be spent sleeping, waking up, and going right back to work. and probably get stuck doing over time that night too.

so the rest of today. leigh and i cancelled the first house we were going to look at cuz i needed to sleep. then a real estate guy called us about seeing a house on 79th street. so we did that at 11, and omg, it’s so cute. the people just remodeled it, and resided it, and all this. it’s little and cozy and cute and seems to be in my price range. the only problem is there are big basement issues. so i’m gonna have my parents come look at it, next weekend probably.

after that, we went for lunch at perkins and had such a cute waiter. he was reminiscent of nate, with the blond hair blue eye thing. and he was funny. i asked for a side of lemons for my waffel, and he brings me a plate of 4 whole lemons LOL. he screwed up our drinks, but he was cute, so we forgave him haha. we’re such girls.

then we highlighted our hair. i figure i already fucked it up and somehow made it light red, why not add orange streaks to it. so i did. my mom hates it. she made that perfectly clear, but everyone at work thinks its the best thing since sliced bread. seriously. a few women were just like so enthusiastic about how good my hair looked, and how much it lightened my face.

i’ll get tired of it in a week or so and dye it all dark brown – for real this time.

i decided i need to do some rearranging with my picture frames. like, changing the pics in it. cuz i don’t need a pic of me and nate in a heart. i never wanted it to begin with, my mom did it. it’s just sat here since cuz i’m lazy. some of the other pics are outdated, since i hardly talk to the people in them anymore. maybe tomorrow.

tho i should do laundry at the parents and do my taxes tomorrow. maybe sunday. we’ll see how lazy i am tomorrow, or if any other plans get presented to me. *hint/nudge* haha

i should probably sleep now. i was tired as hell til i got so pissed off at work, and now i’m awake.

oh yeah, and i have a new boyfriend requirement. he has to be willing to dance with me in the rain. yep.

i’m wondering if i have any other boyfriend requirements… oh yeah, NOT PSYCHO. thanks.

and lacuna coil is going to be playing ozzfest, which is not coming anywhere near here. which is fine, cuz they’d be the only band i’d want to see. they are also going on tour with POD…um. yeah. HAHA i guess we’ll make a decision on that once dates get announced.

 

ok, punk statik paranoia (the new orgy record) had totally grown on me. it so fucking rocks, even if the mixes on the advance are diff than the mp3s i didn’t have a month ago *hides* and i like the mp3s better. it still rocks. rocks rocks rocks. i cant wait to see them again on stage. wooo!!!!!

i was semi productive today. i did some updates to the bct site, and made an email form that worked the very first time LOL. gonna probably work on some of it some more.

i guess tomorrow is doing my taxes and laundry at the parents house. super fun wow.