tonight was the big exciting orgy. brian hurt himself so he didn’t make it. james brought his brother jasen, WHO IS SO COOL, to finally see my apparently rad apartment. i hope it lived up to the hype. it turned into nintendo night. i dunno if anyone else had fun but i did. as i said to brian in an email a few days ago about what we were going to do tonight, i just like having friends. i don’t care what they do as long as they’re here or we’re doing something together.

aww.

so now i’m left all alone. and of course i’m not tired.

i am so frustrated right now. and when i’m frustrated i cry. and i hate crying.

did over time, AGAIN, tonight. got suited up although i was supposed to deal. turned into a nightmare in the last hour. can’t talk about it, but someone should be getting written up right now, but i’m being nice. i’m the boss. when i tell you to do something, you do it. you especially do it the 2nd time i ask you to do it. and the 3rd should really not even have to happen.

waiting for tony to get here so i can drink.

 

gah tony keeping me up til 7am when i have stuff to do all day. but that’s ok. it was good talking to him. discussed what i should have done in my work situation and what to do next time something like it happens. talked about other stuff. always good conversation. he’s a very smart very level headed boy. haha he told me “i don’t mean this as an insult, and i think you already know this, but you’re not a typical woman”. all cuz i said i hate shoes LOL.

anyway.

throughout my life, the only men who have liked me have been scummy/creepy old men. i’m really tired of it. i got asked at work by a scummy old man if the little ring i wear is an engagement ring. when i said no he went on about how he was wondering if a boy gave it to me and if i was in love. he finished with “you’re still fine anyway”. he said “fine” all ebonic like. LOL. he continued to talk and tell me he’s talked to me more today than he has the whole last year. and how he noticed i’m not very socialable. so i said “well most people here aren’t worth talking to” ROFL i thought that was rude, until i realized he didn’t get that i was talking about him HAH.

whatever.

so i did most of what i planned to today, despite having to sleep in a bit more. i didn’t do my laundry, i only washed my sheets. had to take them to the laundramat to dry cuz someone here was using the dryer. i also baked a cake and fucked up my hair. totally not the color it’s supposed to be. ug. prolly gonna redye it in a few days. it’s supposed to be brown. it’s not. it’s light red now. i’m wondering if i had the wrong color in the box i bought, cuz really. it was supposed to be a brown copper, and it definitely lightened my hair instead. and i really just want to do it black again, if only black wasn’t so hard to get out once you do it.

i hate being salary.

 

ok i hate salary cuz i got stuck doing overtime, AGAIN, this time for 40 min and i don’t get paid for it. fucking grave shift.

tomorrow is “do everything i haven’t done for the last month” day. which means, laundry, cleaning the apartment, dry cleaning, hanging the mirror, washing/hanging the new sign, um…my hair….and…i’m forgetting stuff, oh well. tony asked if i had plans wed, so might do something with him.

then thurs leighanne arrives, we tour the apartments by the quarry, go to HR at the casino, board meeting…orgy later that night…and friday hopefully looking at a house for sale in NT that i’m interested in.

ha the flower was from tony. i sorta suspected it, but didn’t think so…since his girlfriend would kill him if she knew LOL. so it’s a secret, shhhhhhhhhh

work was ok til the end, when it sucked and i got screwed. but whatever.

sabres game tomorrow, then work at 8. yipee fun wow.

 

woo i picked a great game to go to today. 7-2 sabres!! who are you guys and what did you do with our team? cuz really. 21 goals in 3 games?!?!?!? satan with 4 goals in 1 game! 3rd period full of fights. it was tons of fun. jenn was scared of the height of our seats but she got over it, just like i told her she would, and we had fun. got my yearly dose of dippin dots. good times good times.

home now to eat some donuts for dinner then off to work, flooring tonight 8-4. hopefully i don’t get screwed again tonight haha.

and now for fun at dumbya’s expense: dumbya action figure

happy valentines day.

i’ve felt all mushy and sentimental lately. i was going to send everyone individual valentines, but then i got lazy.

reading through my archives for the new delirious and chat logs, i discovered that i don’t like the person i was this time last year. i don’t recognize that person either.

things are so much better and different now.

so i wanted to thank everyone who made the 2nd half of 2003 so absolutely fabulous. i owe it all to you. thank you for getting me involved in things that i always wanted to before. thank you for being on the same wavelength as me, and making me feel like i’m not insane. thank you for reminding me of all the ways that i changed in 2002 and bringing those feelings back into my head.

i love you.

 

so i had a lovely valentines day with brian and james. they took so long to get here that adr stopped by with hot sex. lol. but the 3 of us ended up going to the missile controll center again, since i remembered where it was. trudged around in the snow. james acquired me a new sign for the apartment. weird thing was, there’s writing on the back of it too. he also had a mouse attack him LOL funniest thing ever. headed back here after to watch fight club and have james cook dinner for us.

lovely lovely time.

now it’s off to work to gag at happy couples, and have no one give me a free flower again. hahaha. but this year is already miles ahead of last year.

hope everyone else had a good day.

 

i’m home. i’m sick. felt really sick as i went to work. was on the sit down game which was good and bad. good cuz if i had to stand up i prolly would have passed out. bad cuz it’s so painful. couldn’t handle the smoke, kept making me almost throw up. was shaking so bad, it was hard to deal. went to the emts so i could go home. i get half a point against me for leaving early, but fuck it. i really dont care at this point. a migrane i think, since i had such a bad headache this morning. 2 prescription painkillers and 3 excedrine later i felt fine all afternoon. then just felt really pukey and the shaking thing.

it’s either that or james poisoned me.

and i was having such a lovely day…

i’m risking embarassment on this, but it just struck me as way too funny. for whatever reason.

vacant enigma: his friend called me cute
vacant enigma: when we were in the catwalks
vacant enigma: so then when he asked for film hes like, i wont call you cute agian
vacant enigma: i’m like, no thats ok, go on
HAH that cracks me up and i really have no clue why. i really don’t think as highly of myself as i sometimes appear to. was that english? i’m really not egotistical, i just do this fake ego self mockery thing.

while i’m already embarassing myself. why not add to it. last week when brian and james were over, james asked what my dysfunction was…i dont think he used that term, but it was something like that. so i’ll paste this.

vacant enigma: whats the point
vacant enigma: i’m all for exhibitionism
vacant enigma: but really

*ISNOTANEXHIBITIONIST* i just have exhibitionist tendencies that i’ve never acted on LOL.
i’ll shut up now.

 

Bedbug infestations on rise across U.S. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

i’m glad my last post was amusing. haha

i had a wicked cool dream about orgy last night. that i lived in an apartment building where they had a studio and rehearsal room. so i sorta knew them, and i was watching their rehearsals for the new tour. then it turned into an actual concert but there was hardly anyone there. danielle showed up and we had a rockin good time.

then i was having some dream about james when my alarm went off. my other dreams were about remembering the orgy dream.

nothign to do today. lalalala.

 

from the archives

AHEM!

“i saved that one primarily because it looks like bono is wearing makeup.. and boys in makeup is always a good thing”

ended up going downtown to meet jerry this afternoon. we decided to check out the architectural circus on niagara, and holy crap are they tons more helpful than the horsefeathers people. they kinda have to be considering they have one of our baggage carts in front of the store. says central terminal on it and everything. one of the people saw me looking at it, and said he’d sell it to me. ended up telling them how i work for the ctrc, and i’m looking for any artifacts they may have. well they have at least 6 other baggage carts, and 4 others in pieces that could be restored into one full one. gave me a price on all of them. talked to the owner about all the other stuff from the terminal that he has/used to have. he said alot of it he doesn’t have anymore he could still track down for us. so he’s got my card and my number, and he’s gonna look into the other stuff he has around. score! so that was productive.

then jerry and i sat at spot and talked for like 2 hours. deep philosophical conversations lol…about satan worshippers at geneseo, and the new neo nazi movement that is apparently going on at geneseo now. blahblahblah. good times. got to discuss things that have been on my mind recently. his opinion is always good because we seem to share the same brain about alot of things. i got to vent my frustration about the bct forum to yet another person hahah. all good. i got to tell him my faith healing story, which apparently i had never told him before.

stopped at the parents house to pick up a valentines day gift my aunt sent, and some stuff my mom had there for me.

for whatever reason now i’m extremely tired, and don’t feel too good. all i ate was a giant piece of carrot cake at the spot and my coconut mocha frap..which was not as good as starbucks *hides* haha it was funny cuz i ordered my drink and the girl said that it sounded good. i’m like, the secret is i had it at starbucks and it was wonderful. and i actually grimaced when saying i had it at starbucks. hahah. planet starbucks. the ibm stellersphere.

i’ve been channeling fight club alot recently.

anyway. i’m here for the rest of the night, continuing my work on the redone content of delirious. feel free to IM or call if you want to do something.

things overheard at work

“i told him i wanted another one because the diamond was too small”

the day someone proposes to me and i tell him i want a different ring cuz the diamond is too small, is the day they have my permission to slap me.

“it smells like cum in here”

uttered by an old high school classmate. she never had much class during high school, good to know she hasn’t changed much.

in the 2 hours i worked i made more tips than i have the last 2 months.

now i’m home all night, and have virtually no plans for the next 2 days – i have no excuse to not work on the nacc site. ug. i have no motivation. i’m burned out on webdesign i think. which reminds me, a kid at work wants me to do a site for him – a site to sell sex toys.  i told him i’d have to think about it LOL.

and speaking of sex toys…my neighbors use my garbage can out side all the time, but they don’t take it out. i’m leaving a note on it next week. because now i have garbage to throw out and no where to put it (cuz i forgot to take it out last night) cuz my garbage can is full. no wait i’ll just put it in theres.

i had 2 memorable dreams last night. one, i was doing urbex with my mom LOL. we infiltrated niagara splash and were wandering around all the slides. i told her the story i heard the other night, about how a guy went down the straight down slide, and a piece was broken off and sliced his leg from ankle to hip. he sued the place for millions, i guess it’s why they shut down. we kept wandering around, and we saw ppl so we had to hide and the do the army crawl thing out of the park.

the other was that nate was home, and being shipped away again – but this time he was in the army. and i didn’t care.

finally found the password for the a perfect circle ticket presale tomorrow. i didn’t bother asking anyone to go with me, cuz i figure no one will, or everyone will be busy and/or broke. but if anyone would like to go with me, you are more than welcome. tix are 37.50 cnd. it’s april 22nd, a thursday. they go onsale to the public on friday. i’m assuming it’s all GA. it’s at the ricoh coliseum, which apparently at exhibition place – easy to get to. maybe it is seats…we’ll find out tomorrow morning won’t we?

 

the title of my new book, curtesy of heather

Darknyss6: “how to blow him off… without having to… blow him off”

ROFLMAO

oh wait, it just got better

Darknyss6: I think jerking-off could also be called washing carrots