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work was horribly boring last night. as someone pointed out, we are a winter casino. we do our best business, and get the best tip rate when it’s cold. now that it’s warm, business has definitely dropped. i was a 6-2am in non smoking. i’m not sure i did anything except change cards last night. got out at 1 so at least i got to bed a bit earlier since i had to get up at 7 today.

today was the clean up at central terminal. unfortunately we had bad weather, drizzle, and a drop in temperature. but we had a good turn out and work got done. we sold our shirts and a few memberships. i actually ended up taking a few people through some of the tower floors, and then taking the canadian film crew around a bit. i swear i still see something new each time i’m there. haven’t been there since leighanne and i did the tower at the beginning of december. definitely some more falling apart damage, but it’s not too bad. the first tour of the season is next saturday. should be interesting to see where things go from here.

now i don’t know if i should grab the pics off the digicam or take a nap…hmmm

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watched blue velvet. made too much sense. i don’t get WHY any of it happened, but i followed what was going on. tho from what james is telling me on IM right now, i didn’t get any of it….

it didn’t make my head hurt anymore than it already did so that’s good i suppose. wicked headache all day. i blame adelphia for calling me at 9:30. even tho i took drugs before going back to sleep. i blame them. took more drugs when james’s brother woke me up too, still didn’t go away. took more drugs when i got home from ikea. still didn’t go away. still not gone away completely. it’s a good thing we didn’t watch a movie that involved lots of blinking/flashing images or i probably would have started seizing.

and it’s totally wiped me out. i feel so exhausted. blah. there is fog in the quarry…i have half a mind to go infiltrate but not by myself. with my luck i’ll trip some alarm, dogs will be let loose, and i’ll be devoured by starving pit bulls…or i’ll fall in the quarry and die. either way, i’m not in the mood to die today.

 

new layout. orgy related again. cuz if you didn’t realize, the purple one was orgy related too. from their song “pure” off the new album. this one goes back to candyass, “stitches”. i like this one much better than the last, tho i love the lyric i used in the last layout. at the show i knew i had to do a stitches layout. and it’s semi nin inspired as well…copying their “censoring” of trent’s responses to questions, and the same/similar font. i’ve always loved the line i used in this image, but it’s censored because i don’t want it to appear as if the real line is how i feel. cuz you know…some people assume lyrics people use describe their current state *guilty of said assumptions hehe* *guilty of using lyrics to explain myself from time to time* *just not this time*

but i like it.
and i apologize for any trauma that occured as a result of posting the photos from monday. i didn’t realize that the subject matter was so controversial.

 

this is the 701st entry since changing to MT. and i have twice as many comments.

wearing tank tops make me feel white trashy for some reason. even tho this top i have on today is cool and rocking, i still feel trashy. i bought this new pushup bra from target the other day and holy cow it’s wonderful. makes me look like i actually have cleavage. must go back and buy 923497 more.

i also bought the coolest shirt at this canadian store called urban behavior yesterday. the only downside is that it’s flourescent green. the white one was too small and i didn’t like what the flo-pink one said. but it’s got the coolest…”sleeves”. i want 283498 more shirts like it. going to see if i have some old crappy shirts i can experiment with to get the same effect.

going to go through my clothes and cds and get rid of everything that doesn’t fit my “style” and don’t listen to anymore. i’ll leave the cds around for a while before going to sell them somewhere incase any of you guys want to take any of them. the clothes are all going to goodwill on military. also going to try to pack up all my silly kiddish souvenirs and memory things into tupperwear storage containers. cuz i don’t have much room to display anything anymore, and i want things to look as if i’m actually a grown up.

i’m in a bad mood.

 

hmm how can i say this so that the entire world won’t know what i’m referring to…

there is something that happened almost exactly a year ago. someplace i introduced someone to during a small road trip to ohio and back. something that put into motion the last year of my life.

if you can figure out what that is in reference to, this next line will (hopefully) make sense to you.

i now hold the key(s).

Posted in: Personal

Orgy Toronto

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wow yesterday was amazing!!!

i love orgy.

so…the show. i wore my fake hair and it only sorta hurt, and it didn’t get pulled out so it was wonderful….anyway, headed out around 5 with leighanne adr and james. we were meeting danielle and her friend erika at the show because they spent the day in toronto. i figured we’d eventually find them. turns out while driving down bloor someone walked right in front of my car…and it was danielle LOL. so we caught up with them, stopped at a restaurant/bar for some of us to eat, then headed to lee’s palace to wait in line for doors at 9. danielle met a bunch of the boys again while we were eating, which is totally cool for her.

lee’s palace is super super small. smaller than showplace. so it was fabulous. aphasia opened for orgy. they’re signed to jay’s label. they were really good. young too. james bought their cd after the show, gonna have to burn it for myself. the lead singer looked like a cross between james, ian, and tommy gnosis haha. so that was cool.

and orgy…gah. what to even say?!?! it has been far too long since we saw them. ended up in front of amir and paige. there was no space between the “barrier” and stage (it was a padded rail attached to the stage). the show was great. jay had some mic troubles, and apparently was a bit sick so paige and ryan were helping with vocals. it was paige’s birthday, so one of the roadies brought out a cake for him and everyone sang happy birthday. it was so fun. the set list was something like:
(the order is messed up)
suckerface
dissention
inside my head
107 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
fetisha (!!!!!!!!!!)
blue monday (jay’s mic stopped working during the “you spin me round” addition, unfortunately)
the obvious
eva (!!!!!!!!!!!)
opticon
vague
fiction
encore: stitches

the show made 2 more orgy converts, and james seems to have a good time too. gah. so great. they make me so happy. ryan looks like such trash though. bad bad hair. they’re such a fun band. i totally want to go see them again. gah love them.

headed home after the show. got hassled by the nazi border guy, got home around 2:30 and crashed. great great night. yay!

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damn myself for discovering nin too late to make a lame ass nin website that somehow gets trent’s attention so he could hire me to do nin.com….damn rob sheridan lol

ORGY DAY!!!!!!

i’m suddenly feeling very sick *cough cough* i don’t think i’m going to be able to make it into work today *cough cough*

Posted in: Personal

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we’re moved in. we have internet, but there are some issues. dad is off trying to buy a new power supply for the router cuz apparently i gave the wrong one back to adelphia yesterday. and then making sure we didn’t fry the router with the wrong voltage….everything is a mess and cluttered and i can’t wait to have everything unpacked and organized and clean.

and the dog is ok so far haha.

Posted in: Personal

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leighanne is now officially moving into the new place. it’s sorta hard for me to believe it’s finally happening haha.

must go get to work.

Posted in: Personal

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apparently i never pushed publish when i typed up my entry….

well lola didn’t run….instead we watched mulholland drive (finally) and the matrix (finally)…i am no longer a matrix virgin. wow mulholland drive makes your brian hurt. expect nothing less from david lynch. i was doing ok up until the blue box part, then it was like…i don’t get it. brian found a really cool site about it to explore the movie. will have to see it again at some point. and the fact that billy ray cyrus was in it just makes my day lol. the matrix was good as well. except for the fact that no matter how hard he tries, i can only see keanu as ted, excellent *air guitar* hehe. the matrix was really pretty and had very nice coats throughout

mom is on her way over (supposedly…i think she’s here now…half hour late) to pack more crap. must not let her ruin my fabulous mood

 

**JOOYYGAAASM******* nin.com has been updated. and they have the date for halo eighteen as being 2004!!! THIS YEAR!!! i was figuring at least another year and a half before trent got his act together….gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah  sooooooooo wonderful. i might have to quit my job to be a groupie. trent trent love you trent….and the site is nice. minimalist, lots of info and video links (that i can’t get to work. i don’t think i have quicktime)…so wonderful!!! there is a “ask trent a question” page…which i think is sorta lame. but i’m taking full advantage of the opportunity for someone in the nothing records camp to read my plea for trent to come to the terminal. i’m serious. i’m totally telling him to come here. i figure, it really absolutely cannot hurt. and if he thinks i’m a big lame dork so be it, i’m sure he wouldn’t really fall absolutely head over heals in love with me at first site anyway, so what’s the problem with embarassing myself through the question page…

mom was 100 times more annoying today than yesterday. she must have been on her best behavior since james was here. now she’s on my case that my neighbors are homeless looking scumbags with 12 kids. to not tell them what shift i work at so they don’t break into my house thinking i’m not home. blahblahfuckingblah. can’t wait for this to be done. tired of her yelling at me.

GAH TRENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

man i’m in total teenie bopper mode haha. totally just gave trent my phone number. i think i’d completely pass out if he actually called LOL. holy cow. or maybe i’d explode lol. spontaneous human combustion all cuz of a phone call.

 

and becaaaaaaaaaaause i’m a big dork. i just noticed that instutitonal green looks very similar to the new nin.com…as in, i think i used the same font on IGv2…

 

oh yeah. i thought my mom said she hated mulholland drive, but apparently i was wrong. she said she liked it. she made dad go drive on mulholland drive when they were in LA…and she made him drive around and find the sharon tate house, which is SO totally something i would do. incase you don’t know who sharon tate is, she was one of the people killed by Charles Manson’s “family”. right up my alley hehe

 

so…incase any of my new friends, who weren’t around 2.5 years ago when “and all that could have been” was released, are interested in viewing my ultimate trent fantasy…just click that link. best. thing. ever. my exact trent fantasy…but hopefully without jerome dillon lol.

this ain’t nothing. wait til new stuff ACTUALLY comes out. i’ll be unbareable. the day i got the cd, how many posts did i do?…like 40? that was a record day haha.

just watched “somewhat damaged” live from a show in europe. would LOVE to see that song live. but i’ll take “reptile” over that one any day. and “something i can never have”…instead of…”piggy” and….”head like a hole”. good songs but…i wouldn’t miss them. and i’d love to hear “last” from broken instead of “gave up” (tho i’ve learned to adore that song haha) or even better… “physical” *drool* hehe

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maybe i should post something…

started moving crap into the new place. took alot of kitchen stuff i won’t need over the next 4 days because i don’t cook. mom is coming over again today (wed) to move more junk. hopefully i can get most/all my stuff out of the old and into the new apt over the weekend. mom likes the new place, but agrees that getting the furniture up the stairs is going to be hell.

floored pai gow last night (monday), and dealt 40 minutes today before getting suited up to floor black jack. so that gives me an entire week of flooring. it actually worked out ok tonight. i had signed to get out early, was the 5th one on the list, before i got suited up. because i was an early start, i got taken out of my section at 1:30 so i wouldn’t get stuck doing over time, and got to go home early…if i had stayed dealing i’d still be there, because suddenly we have no roulette dealers anymore. don’t know what happened to all of them, we used to have tons.

everything is changing at work…moving tables around, poker room opens in 2 weeks, salamanca apparently opened suddenly the other day…we’re going to be short employees big time soon…possibly going back to manditory overtime (6 day week) like they were doing when we first opened. they’re offering classes in all the games again. they’re doing promotions again. so many people are leaving to go work on the boats in the south it’s not funny. so we’re all going to get screwed very very soon. i don’t want to give up my wednesdays off but i might have to if things get really bad. and i’m not taking craps again. i should but i’m not. i don’t want to spend the next 6 weeks working 14 hour days and not getting to see anyone ever. there are other things that are more important to me right now than learning craps. next time…

 

it’s a beautiful day. this is the spring day where i realize that suddenly the trees have leaves. it always strikes me…one day no leaves, the next day…leaves everywhere. it’s so happy and pretty out.

james came over this morning, napped, and helped pack stuff to take to the new apartment. my mom behaved thankfully. i have too much crap.

i downloaded apc’s rochester show so i can see what i missed…and since i can’t find the toronto show yet. sounds like the mp3s are too slow…

i’m reading a book called The Dice Man. it’s not about casinos and/or gambling. it’s about a psychiatrist who is bored with life, and decides that everything he does in his life is determined by what number comes up when he rolls a die or pair of dice. i had no idea it was about a psychiatrist, which makes it more interesting/funny to me. this is a great line….”I went to the Admissions Building, one of the old, low, blackened buildings which, it was reliably reported, was held together solely by the thirty-seven layers of pale green paint on all the interior walls and ceilings.” ROFL

need to pack some more crap up before the boys get here at 8. on tap for tonight, run lola run.

Posted in: Personal

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i loved this line “That Billy Howerdel is a very, very interesting looking human being. At once gentle and intense, he looks like he is the keeper of a secret joke that is so funny, if any one of us mere mortals were to ever conceive of it, we would simply explode”

i dreamed about bono last night. that hasn’t happened in a long time. i also got email from my…ex-uncle mark. about my photos, which my parents apparently sent to him (tho i’m under the impression he doesn’t know they’re my photos). it was a nice surprise, tho i don’t quite know what to say to him. i haven’t seen him in years. i always loved him. he’s an artist. he’s ultra cool. hopefully he’ll write back.

had a decent enough time last night. went to slick willies with jenn and tom. a few other casino people showed up. nothing huge. played darts and pool. went to dennys (again, i feel like it’s summer 2000 again lol) with jenn afterwards, and had to drive her home cuz she was drunk and i was not.

i feel weird.

i need to find out what time i work tonight. vacation is over. feels like years ago that i was actually out of town with my mom. i don’t know why.

i feel empty.

Posted in: Personal