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put up my christmas decorations outside today. neighbor kim came home when i was doing it, so offered up some spiral xmas trees to add to our shared garden. had a real conversation with her for really the first time in a year and a half. mostly bitching about the company who bought the property. of course it’s super windy so my one plastic candle that i couldn’t tie up to anything has fallen over. the candy cane stake lights from last year had no stakes left…didn’t realize when we took them down last year that we left all the stakes in the ground haha oops. so they are now hung on the sides of the door. you couldn’t tell what they were at first, so i taped them all sideways to the siding so you can see they are candy canes. i had to take the snowman head lights back to biglots cuz both fuses blew, so i got new ones and they look wonderfully horrible. put the big bulb colored lights outside cuz i had space around the door, so i need to go buy new ones for the tree.

old man (OM) was back in today. chuck told me OM was around looking for me, and i was like, don’t fuck with me. he was serious. i let my boss know, and a bit later he showed up in high limit and was watching me through the fish tank. michelle kept an eye on him and was going to make him leave if he came in to talk to me. i had 2 players come to my table when he was still there, and the one player for some reason said something about wanting to marry me, so i told him he’d have to fight the old guy behind the fish tank haha. the players got all defensive for me and were going to “take care of him” but OM left for the rest of the night. i really don’t like this. i had the shift manager walk with me out of the room to go on break incase OM was waiting for me again, but he wasn’t. yuck.

i really don’t want to keep sleeping until 4pm but i can’t get out of the cycle. i’m reading “devil in the white city” about chicago’s worlds fair in 1892 and the serial killer who began his killing at the same time. it’s pretty good. we’ve gotten to the fair actually opening now, half way through the book. carol recommended it to me. so i bought her city of light for xmas, which is a novel built around buffalo’s pan am exposition in 1901(?). devil in the white city is a true story. city of light isn’t, tho i haven’t read it. probably will before i wrap it hahaha.

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today’s horoscope, very appropriate: Think of what you want — nothing more and nothing less. If a certain person’s name is right at the top of that list, it’s okay. Just remember that you’re after the kind of closeness that allows you to be silent without being uncomfortable.

the tea party was such a great band. i don’t like using “was” to describe them. i sincerely hope jeff martin does some wicked cool solo stuff or i won’t forgive him for breaking up the band. even tho they play the same setlist every show, i totally miss them. i hate possibly never hearing “psychopomp” live again. gah. (was listening to them in the car if you didn’t guess.) (just found this on dime:

“Jeff Martin quits The Tea Party”

After 15 years as frontman for Canadian rock trio The Tea Party, Jeff Martin has decided to pack it in.

Martin has announced his departure from the band to pursue a solo career, according to a press statement.

Despite the decision, Martin left the door open for a possible return to the T.O.-based band.

“I am deeply appreciative of all the support Tea Party fans have shown both the band and me over the years,” Martin said. “While I’m not ruling out a return of The Tea Party at some time in the future, I am focused for now on my acoustic solo record, and hope to release the new music this winter and tour in support of it.”

“I am excited to embark on this new musical chapter of my life and wish all the best to my two former bandmates and friends, Jeff Burrows and Stuart Chatwood.”

The Tea Party’s seventh and final studio album “Seven Circles” was released in August of 2004.

i don’t like acoustic….)

through talking with phill and dave on tuesday, we’ve been to many of the same shows without knowing it. dave mentioned tea party at shea’s. and phill was at the orgy show for the edge xmas party, and it turns out he was probably right next to us. i mentioned that danielle and i groped jay when he came down from stage, and phill said he was right there too. small world.

and talk about small world, someone sent me a message on myspace without realizing they know who i am from the casino. sorta scary.

gotta take the shoes i bought today back to target cuz they’re too big. i hope they don’t look too worn haha

and wow. found someone on myspace who i was friends with in high school so i sent a message. he wrote back that he’s been living in france for 3 years, and you know…is actually doing something with himself. makes me feel like such a disapointment. though i know that wasn’t the intention haha. it’s just like…he asked what i’ve been doing, and what do i say to compare to that? wasted 4 years of college and am still at home working at the casino…

and urban decay’s eye shadow primer potion is the best stuff on earth. eye makeup didn’t crease or fade or smudge all night long. it’s a god send.

and apparently i’m suddenly popular on myspace that i don’t use cuz i joined the club diablo group. so all these ppl think i hang out there, when i still have yet to go. i should work on that maybe. if i wasn’t so antisocial.

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seriously disappointed in the lack of hideous christmas decorations at the dollar store. last year they were a gold mine. this year, BLAAAAH. i did end up getting 5 light up snowman heads at big lots though. hoping they’re hideous. well hoping they work first, and then that they’re hideous. monday is supposed to be a balmy 54 degrees so i guess i’ll do outdoor decorating on monday. that is unless i sleep til 4pm again. gah.

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this is what i get for being nice to people….

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so i get to work tonight, and run into this “regular” in the hallway. really old man, like 70 (not exaggerating), and he’s talked to me before. so he says hi and i stop to say hi and see how he’s doing. this is the conversation (almost immediately after me saying hi).
him: so do you have anyone to go home to?
me: no
him: how late do you work until?
me: 6am
him: if i gave you my phone number would you call me?
me: *stupified* *humors him* maybe
him: do you have any paper?
me: *lying* no
him: i think i have some *fishes around in ugly jacket* i better have some
me: *laughs* *this can’t be happening* *wants to leave*
him: *finds paper* ok. where do you live?
me: *lying* north tonawanda
him: do you have a roommate?
me: *lying* yes
him: boy or girl?
me: girl
him: oh good. here sit down. here.
me: *really really wants to leave*
him: we might get along pretty good.
me: maybe
him: we might get along good in bed.
me: *OHMYFUCKINGGOD* i don’t think so.
him: are you ready?
me: i gotta go
him: are you willing?
me: i don’t think so
him: are you able?
me: yeah, i’ll see you later *leaves*
him: call me when you get out, or at 7.

ok so A FUCKING SEVENTY YEAR OLD MAN WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH at least sam is only 15 years older than me, not 50!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alright so it gets better. i go to my table at 10 and what do you know, he shows up and just stands there for like a half hour. and i know he’s there but i don’t look at him, just ignore him. unfortunately the shoe ends, and everyone stands up and walks around, so it’s just me and him and i keep ignoring him. so he says my name and says hi, and then leaves. i go on my break, and he’s sitting at a slot machine outside the high limit room waiting for me. i think i hear my name but i ignore him and go into the bathroom. there were no stalls free so i go to leave to go to a different bathroom, and i walk out and see him walking around there looking for me. so i go back into the bathroom. no sign of him after that and i go on break. only i come back down after my break and he’s in the high limit room waiting for me. so i had it by that point and told my pit boss about it all. so the bosses looked out for him, and then had me tapped off my game to tell them the story. sadly, the shift manager sorta blamed me, that i led him on. come on now, i was trying to be nice and talk to the poor old man, and then humor him when he wanted to give me his phone number. i’m the victim here, he’s sexually harassing me. but whatever. if it happens anymore i’m supposed to tell him to knock it off, and if it keeps happening, let the bosses know again. people on break told me he’s done this before to other girls. not cool. they can’t really do anything at this point though.

so i was freaked out all night. i didn’t want to leave early but figured i should incase he was still hanging around waiting for me to get out at 6. not like i couldn’t fucking kick his ass, he’s 70 years old!!! i may be a 115lb weak little girl but he’s SEVENTY YEARS OLD!

ug.

and i hate when my players smell like chinese food. seriously. makes me nauseus. i know i didn’t smell good after working 8 hrs at mcdonalds either, but it’s better than smelling like chinese food. barf.

it’s snowing. about an inch or so, covering everything. enough to make the roads quite slippery. very pretty though. i definitely need new shoes for work. canvas shoes in the winter, not so good. i so don’t want to go out to the mall or anything tho. booooooo.

oooo you can rss myspace blogs. now i never have to go to myspace again! haha

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no one stole my flamingo. my mom threw it out cuz it got broken in half while i was on vacation. so i need a new one.

there are new commercials for the casino and hotel on tv, and they feature motley crue’s “kickstart my heart” which thrills me to no end hahaha.

coming home there was “tons” of traffic. considering it is possible for me to drive home and not see a single car, seeing a line around tim hortons, and lots of other cars on the road is “tons”. all those insane people getting up to go to 5am sales. something i will NEVER ever do. good luck to them. aside from adr1 i’m done with xmas gifts. mainly cuz besides my parents, adr1, and baby megan, i’m not buying gifts for anyone else. except for my “project” for adr2. if i ever get around to starting it haha.

i hadn’t worked a thanksgiving day before, so i didn’t know what to expect. seemed like a normal day, slowed at the end. i dealt on 4 different tables haha. i kept getting moved around. did pretty good on tokes all things considered. i stayed after to count tokes since i have two 10-6 shifts this weekend, so i won’t make 40 hrs. prob will stay to count again on sunday.

hope everyone had a good thanksgiving. i tried to come up with things i’m thankful for but i couldn’t really think of any. cuz there are times when i’m not thankful that i’m alive and healthy. and i couldn’t really think of anything else. i am thankful that trent reznor got sober and is still alive and making his art. there.

i was trying to remember my new years resolutions from last year. i think i made one to take vitamins every day, and i am still doing that. but i’m not exercising every day, or even once a month hahaha. i don’t know if i made any others. i can’t remember doing a post about it. i’ll have to think of some for this year.

i have nothing interesting to say.

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people ask me if my job is depressing. and if it makes me sick to see people losing. and if i feel bad taking people’s money.

my job is only depressing when i think about how much people are losing compared to what i make. it makes me sick to think that a person tonight lost 30,000$ and it takes me a year to make that much. i don’t feel bad for these people, no one is pointing a gun to their head and making them play. they’re fucking idiots. but they’re losing my years salary in a few hours. THAT makes me ill when i think about it.

so i don’t think about it much.

going to cleveland tomorrow with phill and dave to see Cold. i know like, 2 cold songs. i have all the cds i just haven’t listened to them. my bad.

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“without sounding like a pretentious art dickhead”…

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“The nearLY thing was…as soon as I got off the road from The Fragile tour, I went home and I was really kind of depressed. Not kind of depressed, I was really depressed. …… But I still got off the road and was so depressed and I think part of it, to be honest with you, was that I was really, really concerned about Trent. He’s been very honest and forthcoming about his alcohol abuse in interviews and he’s not bullshitting. I thought that he was doing irreparable damage to himself and that it was going to end in tears…… I wasn’t ready to be in a situation where I’m working with this guy that I really respect and care about and watching him try to destroy himself day after day.” – Jerome Dillon

how fucking adorable is that? i miss jerome. i wish he could have stayed.

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wow i had no idea donnie wahlberg was in Saw II. that made my night! the movie was good, but a bit predictable in spots. and not in the same way that you THOUGHT saw I was predictable. it did throw a twist or 2 in there, but i definitely knew certain things were coming. it did a good job showing how human nature makes you panic and that ruins everything. it would have been so easy to escape the situation if the people could calm down enough to use their heads and figure out how to do it. but it was good. really genius in ways of torture. and i like how they integrated things from the first movie. gave me a headache though. and i didn’t like the “piecing it together” thing at the end. it looked too much like you were suddenly watching a trailer for the movie.

and in other news. how is this for a dream about my life situation. i dreamed i was in prison. i don’t know what i did to get there, but i was in prison. i guess there was a mall in the prison because we could go certain places, and to stores, and everyone knew we were prisoners. jason from work worked at a spencers/hot topic type store in the mall. i guess i knew him from before my prison stint as well, but i’d always go see him. the day before i was set to be released, i was out in the yard with a few other girls. and apparently this was attica, they had built a new female wing of the prison. so we were in the yard sitting against one of the chain link fences. the warden came out, and we stood up and the fence ripped when i stood. so she thought i was trying to escape. and i was like “i’m getting out tomorrow, why would i try to escape today?” and then we got into this huge ass fight. and i kept thinking, oh great, now i’m not gonna get out, and i’ll be in here for the rest of my life. but they released me the next day anyway. but i stayed walking around inside for awhile, and i guess i went to see jason at the store. no one knew i had been released, so everyone was surprised and happy to hear that i was out finally. then it went on to something about me being in the air force and in charge of handing out guns to the people getting on the various planes, then going on as a tag along on missions on the planes. hah i dunno.

and i’m about 8 years too late with this but….south park is so funny. their social commentary is just hilarious.

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