Category Archives: Personal

new design, very obviously. i’m not sure i’m happy with it, but oh well. it’ll do for now.

got my film done at kmart. kmart sucks, just so you know. but i spent 25$ there. bought a new wallet, some makeup, pringles, and my film. i wanted to try a pair of boots on, since i’ll need them for the winter, and the urbex road trip but apparently kmart doesn’t sell socks. i had sandals on, and i wanted socks to try the boots on, but no, no socks to be found anywhere. wtf. so needless to say, didnt try the boots on. but i might go back this week and try them on. they were fashionable enough, and should still be functional. and i definitely need a new coat for the road trip. november…it’s gonna be getting chilly. damn guess and them being out of stock.

talked to leah just now. i miss her. she told me some super huge big news. but the news didn’t surprise me.

i think i’m going to attempt to cook some bacon, and pancakes…if i dont post anymore, it’s cuz i burned the building down and i’m dead.

ew…for some reason the carpet in the hallway is wet…seriously. no reason. the ceilings not leaking, and i’ve been the only one here all day and i know i didnt spill anything…wtf.

crying in the cafeteria is not the best way to start a shift. esp when it’s in front of 4 men. had the pleasure of getting super emotional talking to tom, with rocco doug and what’s his name at the table too. that was so much fun. thank god i have waterproof mascara. doug caught me when we left the bus just now, asked how i was feeling, and that he gave me his card so if i needed to talk i could call him. yeah. i don’t talk. don’t people realize this by now.

things people should realize by now:
i am never happy
i don’t smile
i always look lonely
i hate to cry

and i think i need to start reminding people that i have a tank and an arsenal at my disposal, so no one should fuck with me….

but otherwise work was fine. no it wasn’t fine. got moved to roulette which was good. made my first huge giant mistake on the game. marked the wrong number and took all the bets. yep that was fun too. had to call survailence, got to have my badge number written down and all that fun stuff.

and i didn’t get friday off. just saturday. 9-5 on friday SUCK. i’m going to beg kevin to see if he’ll switch wednesday for friday with me, cuz he’s the only one in the place who has friday off. and he loves me, so…he should say yes, i think haha.

alot more people than expected were interested in the fundraiser…people who’ve never talked to me saw me carrying around the postcards and asked for them. we’ll see who actually shows up. doug’s having his pottery show the same weekend, so alot of people are going to that, and said they’ll come by the fundraiser too. we’ll see.

 

so i went to the terminal on my 3 hours of sleep. ug. i was so tired. and now for a password post…

came back home slept for 4 more hours. scanned in my pictures from the marine star, but probably won’t put them up anywhere. at least not until i get on the marine star haha…riiiiight. that’s gonna happen. maybe if we tackle that elevator next door, i’ll include the ship in that gallery. took in my 2 rolls from today, and gonna take the color roll to walmart tomorrow. work at 10.

more funny bush bumper stickers
Bush/Cheney ’04: Thanks for not paying attention ****
Bush/Cheney ’04: The economy’s stupid!
Bush/Cheney ’04: This time, elect us!
Bush/Cheney ’04: We’re Gooder!

*sings* my lady she went downtown…she bought some…broccoli…she brought it ho-ooome. she’s choppin broccoli…choppin broccoli…

seriously. that’s what i did today. ok so i went to walmart to get photo corners which they didn’t have (cuz i ran out), and photo mattes 8×10 size for 4×6 photos, which they didn’t have…so i went to office max, and spent way too long looking around the store completely dumbfounded looking for photo corners, which i did finally find. then i came home to chop broccoli, and cauliflower, and mushrooms…and ended up cleaning out the fridge cuz the bottom shelf was covered in some kind of sticky substance..and i found a bottle of beer. haha. so we have one beer left. one of tony’s beers.

entertainment weekly, one of my free magazine subscriptions i continue to get, has johnny depp on the cover…*drool* he so needs to play willy wonka it’s not even funny.

tower records said they shipped my APC album yesterday…so what are the chances of it being super fast shipping, and it arriving tomorrow (since it didn’t arrive today)…i’d die. woo hoo! but they didn’t ship the promo pin with it, and they better not say they’re out cuz that’s the only friggen reason i preordered the album from them.

off to continue with my photo album. my photos from dotphoto better arrive soon so i can place them properly in the album.

 

 

planning the eastern state/crayola/holy land/asbury/wildwood urbex road trip for november. there is a special tour for members only at eastern state (meaning we have to become members) that sounds really cool, on nov 16th. so the plan is fly into baltimore early the 16th, drive to philly, spend the day at the prison, afterwards going to the crayola factory, then to connecticut for the holy land. found all sorts of places in CT that we could stop at, but it’s gonna depend on time i think. next day down to asbury park after the holy land. we figure an entire day at asbury, maybe the next morning too…down the jersey coast to wildwood, en route back to baltimore. possibly going to the gingerbread graveyard, and the DC holy land. fly back home on wednesday. we’re gonna need cases of film lol. leighanne is calling the holy land tomorrow to see if it’s even there. we can’t seem to find any recent info about it. all the websites are years old.

so no tony again tonight. eh. whatever. i scanned in all my film from buffalo malting. was too lazy to get them up tonight. probably tomorrow night sometime, after the board meeting.

 

so i went to the CTRC board meeting tonight. met everyone else on the board, talked to jeff about the website things he needs to take care of blah blah blah. it was good. i have new events to update the temp site with, and all that. then there was the advisory committee meeting, and probably 50 people showed up, which was good. it was a meeting to volunteer time to various terminal activities…plumbing, and electricians, and web design (me) etc etc etc. i met a few other people, future events were discussed. it was good. i got a bunch of the postcards to hand out at work, and a few posters to put up places. gonna take one to nccc next week, and one to work, maybe media play. good times.

came home and vaccuumed cuz this place was a mess. gotta clean it up for leighannes visit. i feel so 1950s cuz i was vaccuuming in a skirt haha.

now time to find some food, and update institutional green with the buffalo malting pictures, and other random stuff like that.

the moon is so big and bright you don’t even need your headlights on tonight. it’s unbelievable. i finished my roll of film by attempting to take long exposure pics in our parking lot. boring, but…oh well. maybe something will turn out interesting.

apparently the people in scheduling realized i know mini bac, cuz this is the 2nd night in a row i was scheduled on it. i was relief on 2 mini bac tables and a high limit black jack table. not awful. but i’m so tired from last night, and having to wake up for class, i left 3 hours early again. i need to stop that, esp since i requested 2 days off for next week…haha. need the money, don’t need to keep leaving early. i really couldn’t take being there. things are so weird lately. in good news, a bunch of friends at work were switching shifts this week, which sucked, but one decided he just couldn’t leave…so he was back today, and that was nice.

might do something with tony tomorrow night. dunno. we need to talk about stuff so hopefully we get together this week, unlike last week. of course that could change if tickets to the APC show tomorrow night somehow end up on my doorstep tomorrow…

 

at the parents doing laundry. and now that i said that, i realized the washer turned off haha

i printed myself some little flyers for the fundraiser, since apparently russell is not sending me a stack of postcards to hand out at work. i thought he said he was, but he just mailed one to me. eh whatever. so i gotta take them over to kinkos tonight when i go pick up my prints.

which reminds me. the nevada test site tour is march 23rd or something, so that is the week i requested for my vacation. sorry to those not able to come cuz of school and stuff. if i don’t get that week, the #2 week is march 8 – whatever…monday through sunday. and week #3 is the week after that. i can’t imagine not getting one of my first 3 choices. i don’t have to pick my 2nd week of vacation til round 2 in a few weeks, but i’m probably going to take it in september, or halloween week. not sure..but we’ll see. i think it’s stupid i have to request vacation time now for a year from now. who knows where i’ll be and what i’ll be doing. and i need to ask what happens if i get promoted before then..do i lose my given vacation time or no…cuz that’s important since it’s possible i could get promoted by march. we’ll see.

i have a headache. blah.

 

(oops i forgot to post this after i finished diary…it didn’t end up being as long as i thought it was, but oh well)

my ongoing list of the chucky p gems in “diary”…

the scars left from happiness

the truth is, wherever you choose to be, it’s the wrong place

what you don’t understand, you can make mean anything

 

some good and bad things.
1. bad – i got my prints back, and it reminded me why i wanted to print them myself. some of my most fav photos aren’t contrasty enough. and they look awful. and i’m pissed. i don’t know what to do now, because no way are we gonna be in the dark room at school by next saturday.
2. bad – i printed a bunch of mini flyers for my photos, and the fundraiser. had them copied at kinkos, and the copies look like shit. plus the way i aligned them (there is stuff on front and back) they should have been fine once i cut them, but no, picture is cut off on half of them, text cut off the back of the other half. pissed.
3. good – my dad is going to look into the viability of resetting up his dark room in the basement.

alice cooper is playing at the casino on halloween. we’re not worthy, we’re not worthy, we’re scum, we suck!

i’m screwing with the terminal website. finally got through and talked to who i needed to, about changing companies and what not. but cuz i’m not set up as admin of the current accounts, i have to wait for them to approve it all or something. i don’t know. it’s sorta screwy. i’m not really sure where the domain was registered at, it has the admin info as jeff, but i changed the hosting admin info to me…so i guess they didn’t register the domains at the same place. oh well. hope it all works out.

i got rid of my 10-6 shift on friday, so looks like i will be heading out to the terminal on saturday after all. i need to shoot a color roll for class, so i figure i’ll do it out there. and this thursday is the board meeting.

so in last night’s weirdness, i might have gotten another contact for getting into psych center. spent 2 hours outside the building at 4:30 am…and boy brian was right, they’re patroling that place like nobody’s business. yikes. no one i was out with last night wanted to break and enter with me. it’s a shame.

these lyrics pretty much describe my night perfectly…

No, nothing makes sense
Nothing seems to fit
I know you’d hit out
If you only knew who to hit

i have no idea what is going on anymore. all this fucking drama. so many different stories, and no idea who to believe.

geneseo’s homecoming features some kind of…show/lecture/dunno with Mr Belding…the principal on Saved By The Bell… ROFLMAO

 

i was looking for las vegas urbex…and i remembered the nuclear weapon tests. so i went looking to see if there were tours of the trinity site (which is actually in new mexico). i found this site the atomic tourist. they have links to important sites in atomic history, including the Nevada Test Site (which is actually what i was thinking of, not the trinity site). they have tours once a quarter, you leave from north las vegas. I SO NEED TO GO THERE YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND. leighanne is calling to find out when the tour is, cuz that might reschedule the vegas trip. i so need to do that. sorry to those who will be bored by it. you don’t have to go, you can stay in vegas haha.

 

i’ve decided i don’t care if i ever see nate again. i think that’s a pretty big step for me.

in other news…in elementary school my ex-friend Andrea had an Apple IIe computer. she had kings quest and various games on it, one of them being lemonade stand. you had to pick how many glasses of lemonade you wanted to make that day, depending on the weather forcast, and other circumstances. then you’d start the day, and it would tell you how many you sold, how much money you made etc. i loved that game. i used to make her let me play it all the time. well yahoo has a new version of it out. you can download a 60 minute trial. it’s all super updated and complicated now…you have to pick/change your recipe depending on customer feedback, you buy supplies, etc…then you can hire new workers if you get super popular, and upgrade your materials, move your stand to other neighborhoods etc. it’s fun though. not for 20$ but, for my 60 min it will be fun. blast from the past. tho i’d still probably enjoy the 3 color Apple IIe version now as well.

i was on minibacc tonight…i told robert i couldn’t do it. he said i could. i told him i was stressed out and really couldn’t do it. he said i had to. so i did. after the first 40 minutes of me freaking out it was ok. but i ended up standing dead for over 2 hours, which gave me lots of time to think, which gave me lots of time to make myself not cry on my game. it wasn’t fun.

i’m going to go break something now. and finish diary.

 

finished diary. i wouldn’t call it a horror novel in the slightest. that’s how i remember it being described by chucky p in his notes/conversations with the cp.net people…it’s definitely not horror. it’s not a mystery, tho it’s mysterious. it seems it finishes off real fast…ties up all the loose ends, and then finishes. much like michael crichton books do. but maybe that’s cuz it gets all tension filled, and you read faster, so you get through it faster. definitely a good book.

in other news. i’m done. i’m done with everything.

help me if you can
it’s just that this
it’s not the way
i want it

so could you please,
help me understand why
i’ve given in to all these
endless dark desires

you’re lying to yourself again
suicidal imbecile
think about it, don’t put it on the faultline
what’ll it take to get it through to you precious
i’m over this, why do you wanna throw it away like this
such a mess, why would i wanna watch you

disconnect and self destruct one bullet at a time
what’s your rush now, everyone will have his day to die

they were right about you
they were right about you

i don’t want to go to work, because i want to/need to finish reading diary. i’m utterly and completely absorbed and sucked into it now, and i really really really REALLY need to find out what happens. i’m so glad this book is good. i was losing faith in my chucky.

this line made me laugh… ” …you need to remember that burnt sienna is just clay colored with iron and manganese and cooked in an oven.” THAT’S IT. THAT’S WHAT BURNT SIENNA IS…but now what is raw sienna?

in a related note, adr finished reading choke. definitely bottom of the list book. i said i didn’t really remember what the plot is, and that i don’t think there was one. she said there wasn’t. remind me why choke was considered good…haha.

gah. must finish diary.

i’m a sucker for the promo goods certain stores offer. like the tower records one i got today. pre-order APC’s thirteenth step and recieve free promo button. had to. i had to do it. so i won’t get it til wednesday now, but i get a button. gah. lol.

today is excellent leather pants weather, so definitely going with that for the show.

i’m halfway through chucky p’s “diary”…i read a giant chunk of it today at the drs office since i waited an hour to be seen for 3 minutes.  i hate doctors. but diary is good…it’s interesting. it is different than his past works. but i’m waiting for the chucky p plot twist to unveil itself. it’s sorta getting there.

i stopped home to get my garbage pail kids cards so i can sell them on ebay. hopefully i can get some cash for them, since they seem to be the only thing i own that has some sort of market on ebay at the moment.