Category Archives: Personal

amanda did write back. she wants me to call her, cuz she doesn’t have reliable internet access to do the email thing. but i slept too late today to call today. oh well. so glad we’re sorta back in touch though.

worked 8-4. jenn and i switched games so i could be on roulette instead of in high limit blackjack, then i got taken off my roulette game to stack chips all night. that was less than stellar. then got sent to high limit anyway, to send jenn home haha. went to the bar after. i wasn’t going to stay long, but stayed til 6:30. there was this whole thing with brendan wanting to come home with me, but i didn’t think it would be a good idea. i was told by someone that i have a very distinctive look. i asked if it was a good or bad thing, they said for me, it was good. i took that as a very nice compliment. slept til 3:30. yay me.

this kid at work, rocco, is going to go to the lacuna coil/anthrax show in rochester on wednesday with me. it might be slightly weird. we were in mini bacc class together, so we’ve talked, and he’s a roulette dealer so we’ve talked about that. but like…3 hours in a car might be a bit ackward. but that’s ok. i don’t have to go by myself anymore.

i have a phone number written down here, and i don’t know whos it is. hah. i suppose i could call and find out, but i’ll pass on that. 614…where is that? that’s not the area code, thats first 3 digits. oh it’s NCCC. nm haha.

i rejoined the LC mailing list to see if someone bootlegged the toronto show, like they did the may show…and they did. yay. so i’ll get to have my first bootleg of a show i actually attended since u2. now i just need new speakers for my comp.

got more scary horoscopes today…and i had wacky tornado dreams again. not the first time recently either. anyone who says they’re not stress/changing life dreams is full of it haha. i only get them when things in my life are changing…like freshman year in college when i was having them 3 to 4 times a week.

got sick around 4am. i was starving, since all i ate was the steak sandwich with brendan. but i felt sick, had to puke, nothing to puke up… always love dry heaves. i ate one of adr’s yogurts so my stomach wouldn’t eat itself, went back to bed. got sick again. great. slept til 10.

straightened stuff out with NCCC. they’re voiding the check i sent, and sending it back to me. so i have my 418$ back. 2 weeks til class starts. or a week and a half…i hope they have good facilities, good dark room and stuff. i was telling adr, if they have a crappy dark room, and have to develop film in bags instead of a pitch black room, i’m paying the 2$ to color tech to develop my film for me. i hate developing film. it’s the worst part of the whole process. time consuming and messy, and if done in bags, annoying as hell.

i haven’t gotten my APC ticket in the mail yet. bah.

so anyway. i am now the proud recipient of another magazine i never subscribed to – This Old House magazine. super. and i got the new issue of Time, and I forget who mentioned it, i think it was brian, that he couldn’t wait to see the next issue. i stupidly thought, why? is there something cool gonna be in it?…he goes, no, the blackout. and what’s on the cover? BLACKOUT hahah. he’s psychic!!

i need to do laundry. before lunch i gotta call stupid NCCC because they sent me the tuition bill for the class last week. it said return with payment. so yesterday i mailed them a check for 418$. today i get a proof of payment statement, saying they charged it to my credit card. so they now have $836 of my money. and i’m getting it back damnit!

my hands are so dirty from work, ug, need to scrub them.

so…been meaning to kind of mention it. it’s been a year since i started dating nate. it sort of blows my mind to think how fast it went. i’m not sure i recognize who i was a year ago. i’m not sure if that’s good or bad. 3 more months and he’ll have been gone for a year already. time really seems to be flying. even the first few months he was gone, looking back, they flew too. i don’t remember time feeling like it went that fast before.

another part of this…is a weird coincidence. all my relationships, whatever you want to call them, all started in summer. met psycho in summer, were dating by winter. met tim in the summer, had whatever we had in august. met ian in summer, started dating this time 1999. met nate in summer, started dating a year ago this week

my internet sucked so bad last night and this morning. i think it was smote. so fishy laid her hands on my modem and healed it. now it works great. that fishy’s got magical powers i tell you.

 

so…last night. casino niagara still closed, until further notice. roulette!!! yay. and it was super busy, it was great, had so much fun, made lots of tips. all good. this girl was helping me out cuz i had piles and piles of chips to pick up after each spin. so we’re talking and she asked me if i was a dancer, because of the way i stand. i said no, but that brendan had asked me the same thing a few weeks ago (but my first thought was exotic dancer, for whatever reason, and that made me laugh).

 

anyway. i’ve just about narrowed down the pictures i want to print for the show. still debating on how to show them, but i’m thinking now some kind of album would be better. cuz i’m going to take my dad’s pictures too…and it’ll be easier to transport and set up etc. i’ll have to look for some kind of nice album.

 

congrats to eric who finally got a job hahah.

i went nutso today and bought all kinds of pictures of old 20s/30s movie stars. girls. not guys. all glam and stuff. of course the one i really wanted was no longer available but that’s ok.

i think there were other things i was going to say, but i can’t remember anymore. gah. i need to find something for dinner other than ice cream.

i was on pai gow last night…only 5 weeks after i finished the class. needless to say i was a bit rusty. fucked up commissions all night. if they put me on minibacc i’m going to tell them i don’t think i can do it. i’ve forgotten it all.

it was a busy night again, with casino niagara closed. hopefully we made some decent tips. of course it would figure we make decent tips on the week i only had 4 days. oh well.

10-6 is the worst shift ever. and it’s especially bad when you’re in high limit, and it’s 400 degrees in there, and the pit boss is watching your every move. something was severely wrong with the AC/ventilation today. it was beyond hot inside, and you could see the smoke cloud hanging above the flags – which never happens. the ventilation in that place is amazing…except for today. and casino niagara was closed again – is closed til monday – so we were hella busy again. the high limit room is never busy, and it was busy tonight. sweated my ass off. so exhausted, but i can’t fall asleep yet. gotta wait for my meds to kick in first.

i didn’t do much today. brian came by around 6 to go look for barns. hung out here after til i had to get ready for work. good times. apparently i’m a good barn finder haha.

if i wake up in time to accomplish anything, maybe i’ll get my hair dyed. we’ll see. gotta find out what’s going on with the family on monday.

 

red hair red hair, i love you red hair. i think i did a pretty damn good job on my hair, considering i did it myself. well…i can’t see the back but i’m assuming there are no big brown patches that i missed. i don’t understand how my mom is the only person who seems to run out of dye when doing my hair, even when it was short. she’d always miss spots cuz she used too much in other stupid places. i went out and bought good colorvive shampoo, so hopefully this won’t fade as fast as every other time.

 

something i thought was funny about ozzfest…or ozzfest just made me think of it. but…how much of a 360 adr and danielle have taken. in high school when i was listening to antichrist superstar all the time, adr was having none of the mansony-goodness. when danielle and i started living together at school, she was not into anything that i liked. now…we go to ozzfest and they’re both disappointed that manson wasn’t allowed to play. haha.

gotta make some dinner soon

well we had power, but no internet today. ok the power went out again between 9 and 10 am. the shutting off of all the noisy appliances (AC, fan, fridge) woke me up. and someone called at that ungodly hour of 9am, but hung up when i answered the fone. fuckers making me get out of bed. the noisy appliances, and my cell phone turning on when the power went back on, woke me up again. plus another phone call that i was not about to get out of bed for, and the answering machine didn’t pick up for whatever reason – rang about 15 times. arg. everyone should know by now, don’t call here before noon.

anyway. so i had no internet once i got up. what to do with myself all day long. well i ran out of eyeliner, so i headed out to target, bought some crap. stopped at dots and bought myself some clothes – yet another pair of black pants, more casual and light than my other 5000 pairs, and yet another black skirt, knee length but with a cool zipper all the way down the front.

back home i played with the modem trying to get it to work, no luck. so i tried to call adelphia. there was no dial tone. i hung up, turned it on again, no dial tone. then someone said hello. haha. it was brendan. the phone never rang on my end. i think our phone is fucked up cuz it does that alot. like half rings, but then takes forever for a 2nd ring. he wanted to come over to repot my plants (and no that is not a sexual metaphor). called adelphia after that. it was kind of funny. basically their message said “if you are in any of these states *all the state in the black out*, you probably don’t have internet, or have intermittent internet, or slow internet. we know. so hang up now”. okies.

so brendan came over and we went to get pots and dirt and stuff, i ended up buying hair dye cuz it was cheap. hung out here for a few hours, went to get dinner, then he went to work.

work was actually pretty busy because 1. we were giving away bills season tickets, and home opener tickets, and 2. casino niagara was closed. i was on roulette, which was a good thing. i’m 10-6 tomorrow tho, suckage.

tony and jenn are probably going to go to APC with me. jenn said she’d put in a request off form for that day, and tony should have the day off normally, and said he’d go. so that’s cool.

and cyndi fucking lauper is playing at the casino on the 26th. i so totally want to go. i’m going to try to switch my days around that week, so i can have tues/wed off for cyndi lauper, and lacuna coil. CYNDI LAUPER! lol craziness

i dunno what’s going on for the weekend. gotta email brian about exploring, then brendan wants to get together either sun or mon (his days off)…and my uncle ed and aunt laurice are coming in monday night, and i’m not sure if i’m supposed to have dinner at the parents house or if they’re just going to come to the casino to see me. gotta find out.

my parents came over to shove shit into my freezer, since they had no power and i did. that was around 10. eric came over too. he got a call around 11:30 that the power was back up in wurlitzer park, so i guess mom will come by in the morning to get her food. i had to defrost my film to make room hahah.

jenn called at some point too. she was trying to get people together to do something, but didn’t know what. cuz the casino was shut down. no one who was scheduled had to go in. they’re reopening at 6am i guess. crazy blackout.

 

i’ve got a massive headache all of a sudden, so its time for bed.

eric came over tonight. we ended up watching Ace Ventura. it’s been years…and i mean years…since i’ve seen that. probably at least 8 years. omg it’s such a funny movie. love jim carrey. then watched the end of dumb and dumber cuz it was on tbs. good times. adr went to bed and we went to dennys to shoot the shit. came up with one good quote for the night
me: “there was this korn museum thing set up that you could go through for 5$. it had like, rare memorabilia and jon davis’s shit.”

the big news of the day is there are 2, count them 2, lacuna coil shows in the next 2 weeks. one in toronto on the 21st, a thursday, and one in rochester on the 27th, a wednesday. i’m so there. then APC the following thursday. looks like i’m making up for the year long concert drought. adr’s gonna go with me to the lacuna shows, but she can’t go to APC so i’m still going to that by myself. eric might go to the rochester lacuna show, cuz they’re opening for anthrax lol. yyaayy.

the bad news of the day is that my parents aren’t coming to the fundraiser to see my photos because my dad is going to yet another driving school…that’s where they were this past weekend, missing the tour on sunday. grr. pissed.

 

i went back to the parents house to grab my dad’s negatives of the terminal, to send to russell to have blown up. i decided to look through his book of 35mm shots, cuz we didn’t do that when we were looking for terminal pictures (we only looked at the large format negatives). well i did find a few more pictures of the terminal, from the time they took my aunt to the terminal.

i also found a picture of my mom in the bathtub. THERE WERE BUBBLES SO IT’S NOT LIKE I SAW HER NAKED. but…i if i didn’t know the picture was taken in the 1970s i’d think it was a picture of me. it is unbelievable how much it looks like me. omg i need to scan it, because we are like twins.

 

it’s also funny to look through my dad’s photos because there are so many like the ones i’m doing now…modern ruins, broken stuff, etc. it’s genetic. hahah and there are alot of religious themed ones…like a movie theatre with the marquee that says “jesus is the answer”, and one of a car with all kinds of jesus grafitti on it…sorta like my love affair with church slogans on their outside signs.

no doubt i was a natural born child and not adopted lol.

 

well, it turns out i got into the photo class at NCCC after all. cuz i got a bill today. i called them to make sure i really did get in, and they’re not just billing me for no reason. and to find out when classes actually start…sept 2nd. i’m gonna have to either miss, or leave class early, the 2nd day of class…cuz i gotta get to London for APC. 418$…that’s going to be lovely. but yay. i’ll finally find out how to use my cam, and get back into a dark room in time to print some of my pics for the fundraiser. exciting stuff.

 

omg. we have power again. power was out for about 4 hours. what did people do before electricity. we were just getting the apt prepared with candles and everything, then it came back on. THANK GOD. cuz i’m swealtering to death in this place. so hot out today.

the whole thing was kinda scary. i went in the car to listen to the radio and they made it clear it wasn’t terrorists LOL. but just think of how vulnerable we were for those 4 hours…the entire northeast without power. crazy. the radio earlier had said some ppl had power, but might lose it later as they rotate stuff…so hopefully ours is on for long enough to cool the place down. so friggen hot.

can’t wait to see the birthrate jump 9 months from now.

and the silence was killing me…cuz the ringing in my ears (not just from ozzfest, they ring all the time) was driving me insane. i need noise to drown out the ringing in my ears.

i didn’t really notice that i was still deaf at work, cuz it’s so loud in there, but yeah. so deaf. nothing really tops the boston APC show though. standing 2 feet from the speaker. no wait actually…STP at UB was worse. i was deaf for like 2 weeks, and i don’t know why. i thought i seriously had damaged my hearing cuz it lasted so long, but it went away. but i realized after i left fred that i might have been talking really loud since i can’t hear anything – if i was, i appologize haha.

work was boring. it was slow, back in pit 3, yay. i complained to scheduling about how i’m the only one from class who hasn’t been scheduled to either game yet. and i told terry that i’d do those games today if he needed me to. hes like, no we need you on blackjack, you’re too valuable to put on those games. gah.

 

anyone have any good ideas for the name of…..leighanne’s and my organization, who is putting together the spring terminal artshow? we have a history of not being able to think up names for things. suggestions welcome.

and anyone (brian, eric) know why my computer has no sound anymore? yes my speakers are plugged into the outlet, and the comp, and they are on (cuz they can’t be turned off), and my comp isn’t on mute, and i’ve shut down and restarted a bunch of times. the power went out this morning around 10am, but the comp was off (speakers on cuz they don’t turn off)…now i have no sound. fix it.

 

there was this super irritating article in the niagara gazette, written by someone who used to waitress. the whole premise of the article was how you should tip people for outstanding service. the 2nd half of the article was about some dealer who was complaining to her about how we don’t get tipped. apparently she was floored by the fact you tip dealers at all. went on and on about how it seems everyone is supposed to get tips now, that they’re obligations, when they shouldn’t be. she asked, since when do casino dealers get tipped. SINCE THE DAWNING OF LAS VEGAS YOU SCHMUCK. just because casinos are new to NF doesn’t mean that tipping dealers is new. the whole article really pissed me off, because she was basically saying dealers don’t deserve tips. well that’s bullshit. i can’t think of any other job that puts up with as much abuse as we do. well maybe telemarketers – but they usually just get hung up on. being called a bitch, a mother fucker, etc etc etc isn’t really present. we take so much abuse it’s really not funny. we are performing a service just as much as the cocktail waitresses, and the bartenders, and the slot attendants, etc…but we don’t deserve to be tipped. maybe they don’t realize we make FOUR FRIGGEN DOLLARS AN HOUR. we’re not allowed to solicit tips, but i make it known that we make 4 dollars an hour, and that tips pay my bills. doesn’t work much but sometimes. ug. i really wanted to write this chick a letter, but i won’t. the casino liked the article and posted it, highlighting the whole part about how people should be tipped for outstanding service…

ANYWAY. i thought of this whole thing again, cuz i went to get my car washed at delta sonic. i tipped the wiper boy a dollar. i dunno if that was a good amount or not. same with hairdressers, i dunno how much you’re supposed to tip a hairdresser. i usually go with 3 dollars.

i can’t wait to get my film back. i really really really hope i have some nice stuff on there this time. i think i need more things to show at the fundraiser. i’m considering having my dads photos printed again to try to sell. i think his would be more likely to sell than mine. i think people would rather see and buy pictures of the terminal when it was intact, compared to pics of it in ruins. oh shit i was gonna call NCCC to see if there’s any chance of me getting in the photo class. i’ll do it tomorrow.

i’ve already got a list of people going to the fundraiser. tony said he’d go, i’m making my parents go, brendan said he wanted to go so he could see my photos, i’m sure adr will go if she’s not working, and leighanne is hoping to come up as long as she gets off of work.

so no one wants to see APC with me? fine…i see how it is. i’ll go by myself.

 

i got my film. so far so good. looks like i got some pretty good shots. at least shots i’m happy with.

so i think my speakers are dead. cuz i did what brian said, and headphones work. sound card is operational. but no sound. fucking speakers. so they were free from leah, they rocked, and i want them to work again. now i gotta waste money on new speakers. ug. i can’t deal with the silence.