Category Archives: Personal

got suited up at work so i was unable to leave early like i wanted to, to come home and scan my film. so i guess that’s tomorrow’s activity. i was put in a section they usually don’t put dual rates in, and i handled it fine..until grave came to take over and i realized my racks were all screwed up and he had to fix them all for me (well he didn’t have to, i could have done it, but he did it for me). but whatever. flooring tomorrow 8-4, and somebody made a mistake and i’m dealing 6-2 on tuesday. i expect a phone call saying to come in at 8 in a suit

for the hell of it i decided to look at digital interchangable lens slr cameras…the most expensive one i saw was a canon 11.1 mega pixel slr for 8000$. hahah completely affordable! *isnotconsideringgoingdigital* *consideredandthrownoutagain*

scanned the 2 rolls from saturday. not entirely happy with them, but whatever. they’ll get up eventually.

my car is the only one in the lot right now. that’s a bit creepy i think…

i definitely did the most work tonight of all my flooring nights so far. roulette was packed all night, and one of my tables lost loads of cash haha. kept me occupied all night, which was good. and only had to work 7 hours cuz of the whole daylight savings time thing. don’t forget to move your clocks ahead….

totally exhausted now. but hungry, so i need to eat something then sleep. i scanned the foggy bob pics and there are a few i think look neat…the others just look like any other night time bob pic…the fog wasn’t foggy enough to make it look super cool. oh well. next time.

listened to stabbing westward again today..darkest days specifically…and “waking up beside you” really made me laugh. cuz it’s like…chris hall has some serious abandonment issues, and i wonder if he’s finally over the girl who dumped him for her personal trainer yet…after 4 albums worth of songs about it, i’d think he’d have had to move on by now hah. i wonder what his stuff with The Dreaming sounds like….Johnny from Econoline is in The Dreaming now.

and listening to the downward spiral now…suuuuch a great album. “mr self destruct” just is like…a big giant punch in the gut. it suddenly seemed so brutal to me. and while i absolutely adore “the fragile” album…i hope bleedthrough really is the “raw, stripped, brutal 13 punches to the face” that trent claims it to be, when it gets released 10 years from now…i think it’s funny how i no longer identify with the teen angst bands like staind and linkin park, but i can still identify with all of trent’s creations…like, every song he’s done speaks to me in some way (maybe with the exception of “big man with a gun” haha). or speaks about me, in a way where it’s like…i could have written that, if i only had a portion of trent’s genius.

also discovered a wonderful bootleg download resource…currently getting thursday’s bowie show, the nin/bowie “live hate” show from the outside tour (which i have, but the file i have is messed up, and this one has the encore as well)…a few tea party boots, another bowie one, and apc in syracuse that i didn’t go to. only 1136 more hours til they are all complete

time for work

work was surprisingly not horrible despite the fact i’m in desperate need of a massage. stupid sit down blackjack. me and adam were on the end sit down games, and cuz i’m a stupid girl, i’m the one who gets players. ug. but it was ok. my players weren’t jerks, and if they had been, i can’t guarantee i wouldn’t be in big trouble right now for telling them off. just the mood i was in. didn’t want to deal with whiny bullshit. but it was ok. it was ok despite the fact that lior made me talk about stuff i don’t like talking about, and i didn’t get upset. so that was good too.

bad tho, i have 10-6 shifts both days next weekend. arg. is the weather supposed to still be rainy? cuz saturday could be a good dansville day, as long as i get like…3 hours of sleep before leaving for the sanitarium…opinions anyone?? maybe by some grace of god i could change my friday shift to an earlier start, sleep, and go to dansville during the day, with the late start on sat….but i’m gonna doubt that.

totally had no clue that tomorrow is daylight savings.

and i totally forgot what an amazing song duran duran’s “out of my mind” is…i had leighanne put in my “bizzare mix” cd on the way home from toronto. i didn’t remember what was on it, but on my way home from work tonight, out of my mind came on and it was just like. woah. such a great song. especially the “industrial” remix (tho it’s not industrial in the slightest). i highly recommend the download if you can find it. if not, the album version of it is still fantastic. it was on the soundtrack for “the saint” (which i haven’t actually seen)….i predict a redesign around it soon…

so i need to go to sleep. apparently i’m entertaining james tomorrow…if he calls and wakes me up. i developed the foggy bob pics today, but didn’t have time/ambition/motivation to scan them in yet…soon

and boooo the sabres are officially not making the playoffs this year.

so i did indeed go out with james this afternoon. gave him his gift LOL. i’m still thrilled by it even if he isn’t hahah. tackled the nurses quarters…definitely less creepy when you’re not alone, but still creepy…esp after session 9. but it was ok…no psycho ax murderers or anything. after that we picked up jasen WHO IS THE COOLEST and went to meyer malting. the amount of graffitti is stunning. really cool place, excited about developing my film from the day. maybe tomorrow. i guess we’re going to check out dansville next saturday. hopefully the weather won’t be total shit.

i’m so frozen however…i can barely move my fingers lol. and my thumb still wicked hurts. blackjack aggravated it too. blah. that’s it…disability! haha

i did something to my thumb and it hurts. feels like i need to crack it but i can’t. feels pinchy inside the joint. it was hurting when i was dealing on monday, then it started hurting again yesterday. stop hurting stupid thumb.

so leighanne is on her way home. had a fun week with her. good times good times.

ziggy is here now living with me. hopefully she doesn’t make a mess, or meow too loudly that she attracts attention from the neighbors. i don’t need the landlord getting pissed off and not giving me the security deposit back in june.

work at 10 today. i guess i’ll develop my foggy bob pics, see if anything turned out decent enough. one thing i forgot to mention…toronto made me totally wanna do the subway spelunking like ninj has done. that would be the ultimate adrenalin rush for me. it would be an expedition where the primary intent is the thrill and not the photography. but the only way i could do it is if i did it with ninj, and i don’t really see that happening. so whatever.

“….generally, I’ve always aspired to become a part of something. But I just never felt like it–it hasn’t really happened. It’s odd, because I have my big club, now, and I’m president. It’s not like I’m a part of it though. When I went to college, I thought that all I wanted to do was just disappear and see what it’s like to have friends, be in a group. Two months later, I was like, fuck this. I’m not like you. I don’t want to lose my identity, my independence, by being around a bunch of other people who are also scared, doing the same thing. Hiding behind something printed on a t-shirt that gives you a sense of who you are.”- Trent Reznor

since hedwig went over so hugely last week, i think next week we should watch Velvet Goldmine ROFLMAO

movie night tonight. adr was sick so she didn’t come, so it was the usual plus bill. it was nice to hang out with bill again. watched hedwig and the angry inch first.

brian and james hated it, and went as far as to say it was the worst movie ever. needless to say, that pissed me off. james came back after they left to apologize. so it’s ok now. though i still think they should be able to appreciate the story of finding happiness within yourself…

2nd movie was “session 9”. it was good cuz it was very urbex…taking place at the abandoned danvers mental hospital in mass. i’m not sure if it’s a good movie however. i don’t know what it was about it, but i found it cheesy…i seriously can’t put a finger on why. it was pretty. and it was tenseful at times…but it didn’t make me not want to do urbex ever again in fear that some psycho is gonna kill me. i’m just not ever gonna do it at night…not that i ever wanted to do it at night anyway…can’t take good pics in the dark.

bed now i guess. bowie tomorrow.

but i do have to add that honestly, it would be nice to wake up tomorrow and have tonight be an april fools joke. though i know it’s not

breaking news: Study: File-Sharing No Threat to Music Sales

duh

work seemed to go on forever. boring boring boring. i hate dealing blackjack and i hate supervising blackjack. just so…friggen…boring.

i’m losing my voice. it might be cuz of all the smoke though…stuck in pit 4 again which is the worst pit for smoke. the only place the smoke goes is directly in your face. we’ll see how my voice is tomorrow when i wake up.

i realized it was the same time last year that i lost my voice for no reason, and everyone thought i sounded super sexy. lol.

the zipper on my work pants broke today. they’re pinned right now lol. so i have to go shopping tomorrow and get some new black pants. and i loved these ones cuz they fit so nicely and i think they look good on me. blah.

yay yay yay bowies set list from last night includes hallo spaceboy, under pressure, life on mars?, blue jean, i’m afraid of americans and ziggy stardust (among others of course). the only thing to make it even better would be heart’s filthy lesson, but it doesn’t appear he’s done that song at any of the reality tour shows…maybe sheas?? hehe yay can’t wait til tomorroooooooow

i am wearing my newest whore skirt. the belt doesnt make it look too bad. but i’m not completely sold on it. waiting for leighanne to get back from her interview, then we’re going shopping cuz i need new work pants, and i need a new butterfly chair cover…its been ripped since the geneseo townhouse, but now it’s almost ripped completely through and i’m afraid the next person who sits in it will fall through. and while that would be hilarious and i’d laugh at them…it’s not nice hehe. so i figured i can finally use my pier 1 gift certificate, and get a new cover…unless of course they’re 100$ and i think my cert is only for 20. sorry, i can wait and get one on ebay or something….anyway. my point was…not sure if i’m going to wear the skirt out to the mall with the boots or not…depends how i’m feeling when we’re ready to go. i don’t have any nylons so my legs are like, blindingly white LOL.

and i desperately need a hair cut. hurry up APC shows so i can wear my fake hair and then cut off my real hair.

i like how a bunch of orgy tour dates are on sale on ticketmaster…yet there has been no official announcement of any of the dates except the anaheim show…and none around here yet. YET. don’t make me have to road trip again boys…

work went pretty fast for the first 6 hours. tried to get out early but yeah, that didnt happen. this little old asian man thought i was super hot. and since he didn’t really know english, he was sorta expressing that in hand gestures…it was funny. how do u spell gestures? and the boy who wants to take me to dinner was in again. he won ten bucks on the pai gow game next to me so he said we could go to dennys now LOL.

and the sabres won, yay.

aaaaaaaand that’s it.

work went really fast which was nice. leighanne got here around 1, sent me msgs at work about almost hitting a deer cuz it was so foggy. FOG! which meant when i got out of work early (yay) i woke her up and we went out to buffalo to see bob. well…it was less than spectacular fog, and one of the tower lights is out, but it was nice nonetheless….and the patrol cars didn’t notice us really…walked outside and took a roll of pics…and holy cow they’ve done alot of work on the building. plexiglass everywhere. even the doors are…sort of doors and not boarded up anymore. it looks infinitely better. but depressing cuz i’ll never see the inside in all it’s wonderful decay. if there was a guaranteed way in, one that you could get in fast without being noticed by the apparently slow patrolers…it could still be done. but i didn’t see any entrance….

i’m super high strung and i dunno why. destroyed all my fingernails at work, and my eye keeps twitching annoyingly. gah make it stop.

tomorrow is grocery shopping, cuz i have zero food, and work at night again. someone entertain leighanne.

i just remembered i had the most vivid dream about flowers…i was in some kind of garden and all the flowers were huge. and it was like an extreme closeup the entire time…as if i was photographing them with a macro lens. the colors were so bright and vivid. and i remember thinking how amazingly beautiful they were, and how i had never noticed flowers were so pretty before. i wanted to get my camera and take pics of them.

from swoon: Fresh, brightly colored flowers featured in your dream, whether growing out of doors or arranged indoors, are an auspicious omen of great personal happiness

talked to tom on the fone after talking to carolyn. and i don’t know what to do. so i’ll continue to do nothing.