so anyway. nate came by around 8, and we discovered the sabres game was on. so we headed to chilis to have some alcohol and snacks and watch the game. someone had to win the game, and once again, it wasn’t us. WE HAD A CHANCE THIS TIME THO. it went into overtime…sabres were dumb of course though…gave up a 2 goal lead in the 3rd and had to come back to tie it. but nj won in overtime. at least we got a point, so what is that now? 10 pts? omg that’s so awful. after chilis we had nothing else to do, so surprise, came back here to watch tv. played some of the above game. hahah we’re dorks. nate enjoyed it.

dunno what’s on tap for tomorrow. nate might need to go shopping again, if not, something at night i guess. then i work thursday morning. if they keep me until 1pm i’ll have a whole 4 hours clocked in this week. how awful is that? but next week, supposedly, will be really busy – and even summer time like busy on the weekend. so i might get another healthy pay check.

i just got called off of work. which is good, cuz i really don’t need to drive down there again to work 2 hours or less. i was thinking about calling and asking if they needed me to come in to begin with. it’s so funny talking to the mgr that called me, cuz he has such a low radio-dj-type voice. it’s great. he’s in the wrong career area, he needs to be in radio. called nate to let him know i’ll be here instead of work, but he’s not home.

oh yeah, we’re getting new memorabilia at work. i was staring at the led zepplin stuff above the door, like i always do, and suddenly realized half the stuff was missing. lol. looked around more, and a bunch of stuff was taken down – of course it has to be some of the cooler stuff that was taken down…like the giant led zepplin bass that everyone thought was a vaccuum cleaner was removed…sex pistols guitar, iron maiden fuzzy pants…where the sex pistols guitar was is now a guitar from some guy who plays in david bowie’s band. no clue what else is going up, if they’re gonna take all the zepplin stuff down, or just get something new up there. maybe we’ll get some u2 thing, that’d be rad. and as long as we still have trent’s keyboard, i’m all good haha.

popcap.com has a new game: word shark. i’ve been playing for the last hour. it’s terrific haha. the only problem with most of their games is that i get the hang of them too quickly and they become to easy. i’m doing this one on normal level, and not expert or anything, but i’m kicking it’s ass hahah.

worked 2.07 hours tonight. fantastic. i don’t even want to bother going in tomorrow, it’s going to be the same thing.

so the power went out around 1:30 this afternoon while i was in the middle of conversing with carolyn and eric. sorry guys. it flicked on and off 2 more times, then on again for a minute. so i turned my comp back on, only to have the power go out again once windows was loaded….i went to work at 3:30 and the power was still out. it’s weird when you don’t have electricity. it’s not the same as just like, going to a cabin in the woods for a weekend either. i had no computer, so that took away most of what i do all the time. mom couldn’t do laundry, had to cook dinner for me on the grill, couldn’t do internet shopping…couldn’t use the bathroom cuz there’s no window haha. mom mentioned how hard it would be if terrorists knocked out american power supplies…it’d be rough. and i don’t mean the whole lack of tv thing, cuz i could totally easily live without tv… and i could live without my computer and the internet…but it’d be so hard to go back to relying on real mail to get information and communicate with people. and even that would be effected, because we rely so much on automation, without power we’d be completely helpless. snail mail would hardly even work anymore, they’re so automated now. it’s kinda scary to think how much we rely on machines instead of humans…

anyway. nate called sometime between when i went to work and when i got home, but called him back and he’d just left with his mom. the note left for me said he wants to do something tomorrow. since i’ve been getting out of work at 6, that’s before his family is even done with dinner, so i’d have to go home first before we did anything. haha. i think it’s funny how as soon as i walk in the door mom tells me nate calls, but for anyone else, it’s hours before she remembers that someone called for me. i got out of working on saturday. i was going to call in but i figured i’d at least offer it to kristen first, and she took it. so saturday night will be out with eric and tiffany…friday i might torture myself, and me and nate could go to work for band night – dave matthews tribute band – so we can hang out with mike and kristen before nate leaves. there just isn’t any time left for the 4 of us to do much of anything else. kristen works on the days i don’t, even tho that hardly matters since we get out so early. one of the retail girls is having a girls night out thing for her birthday dec 7th. she’s trying to get a limo and everything, so that’ll be fun. i think saturday i’m going to make go break and enter with me. he keeps…dodging it every time i bring it up. i asked my mom if she knew where it was today, and she’s like yeah, it’s a bad neighborhood. don’t go down there, you can’t get inside anyway. i didn’t even tell her what i wanted to do, just asked where it was. yeah, i’m so going, and i’m so totally making nate come even if i have to trick him and not tell him what we’re doing. of course, if i wimp out, fishy wants to go and explore before/after our cleveland roadtrip in the spring.

i’m friggen freezing. mom made me take the gallon of water off the roof, so now it’s blah room temperature. i might put it back on the roof for a while. i’m starving, need food. oh yeah, that reminds me. mom’s latest decision about diseases i have is that i have diabetes.

today. sat around for a while. went to cvs to get 6 pics reprinted not so bright. they gave me a slight hard time, but i ended up not paying for the reprints which was good. felt like shit so i took a semi nap while waiting for nate to call about shopping. i knew as soon as i left the house to pick the pictures up he’d call. so i waited for my parents to get home, then went to cvs, and wouldn’t you know it he called. so we headed out around 4 to get more xmas gifts, and then met my parents at this italian restaurant on elmwood for dinner at 7. it was good. i ate alot. i managed to go without being hungry for about…4 hours. that might be a record. saw amanda who i went to new orleans with at the restaurant. it’s funny how she always fakes being so enthused to see me.

so after dinner we went to find showplace. my parents kept asking me where it was and i was like it’s on military. then they said something about grant street, so i was like no wait it’s on grant…when we actually went looking for it, we tried to get to military which runs parallel to elmwood, found grant, then niagara… no military. so i was like wtf. went down grant st a few times, turned around, went back down elmwood to where i know if you go down side streets you get to military, and eventually found it…on grant st. BUT i wasn’t totally wrong, cuz it’s where military turns into grant, i just never realized the streets did that haha. i KNEW eric always goes down military to get there. we got in right before hollowpoint started. i haven’t seen them since 3rd year geneseo, since they got the 2nd guitarist and andy started singing. they sound sorta different now, still very good. and i prefer andy singing to J…nate said they were good too, but lacked that “hit” that everyone knows that will get them noticed. i have their 1st cd, but never listen to it so i’m not hugely familiar with what is on it, but it seemed like they only played new stuff…or andy just sings it so much better that i couldn’t tell it was one of the old songs. (singing was my only complaint about them before) anyway, there was hardly anyone at the show :-/. after hollowpoint was some band from fredonia that weren’t very good, so we left. came back to my house, watched tv for a few hours. nate left like 15 min ago.

so tomorrow, do nothing til work at 4. if there aren’t any parties tomorrow, i’m predicting i get sent home around 7. ug. nate has a date with his mom to buy toiletries at sams club for niger hehe. i gotta figure out a way to mail nate krispy kreme donuts in africa. i’m thinking tupperwear. at least try it once LOL.

during SNL tonight they kept weather warning the bottom of the screen…apparently we could get 6 inches of snow tomorrow. that’d be nice. i like snow 🙂

 

into rain mostly – so still no snow. if we’re still to get 6 inches today, it best start blizzarding real soon.

on the way home i stopped at mcds cuz i wanted a pumpkin milkshake. but they didn’t have them of course. talked to cheryl a bit, no one else there was from when i was employed. she knows 2 hard rock girls, cuz shes involved in the dance team with them.

so next weeks schedule is: mon, tues, sat night, thurs day. called nate to let him know…his date with his mom is tomorrow night now, he was going to hang with andy tonight. i guess we might do something tomorrow afternoon, but dunno. mgrs said at work that even saturday night they cut everyone way early, so it’s not a big deal i’m working so many nights again this week. oh shit sat was supposed to be the date with eric and tiff…ug. maybe i can work out a switch with someone…i should call kristen and find out, and also figure out a day we can all go out before nate leaves.

which reminds me. i really seriously thought everyone at hrc knew nate was going in the peace corps. then i’d mention something about it, and no one would know what i was talking about. so then i thought i had pretty much explained it to everyone, but then again today 2 more people, people nate used to talk to alot, didn’t know. and of course they have to go an ask me what’s gonna happen with us while he’s gone, to which i reply “i don’t know”. eric the bartender said that all the people in niger have those big lip disks and stretched necks so i don’t have to worry about nate cheating on me LOL.

and oh yeah, is being told you could be a porn star an insult or flattery?

there was another party at work today, so once again i got out “late”…nate was hoping i’d get out early enough to go shopping but i didn’t get to his house until 9. goofed off there for a while, and then went looking for a bar that had fun specialty drinks. well those bars don’t exist around us, so we ended up at applebeas. and had boring beer lol. we were going to play pool but i didn’t want to go to slick willies and possibly run into someone who thinks i’m their friend, when i’m not. it was too far of a backtrack to go to qtips. so anyway, went back to my house after that and watched a bunch of tv and yeah. exciting isn’t it.

going shopping during the afternoon tomorrow. nate has to get christmas gifts, and stuff for niger. then sabres game that night. hollowpoint is playing at showplace on saturday night, so i think we might go do that. i have to find out how much it costs though. can’t be more than 5$ i figure, it’s at showplace for gods sake…and we’re over 21 now so we don’t have to pay the stupid extra 2$. too bad the show isn’t next saturday, cuz that’d give us something to do with eric and tiff.

 

i’m semi convinced that there will never be a good picture of me and nate together…my mom took about 15 of us today…yeah, they’re not good. first of all the prints look like crap. they’re so bright and washed out, they’re awful. but i scanned the negatives and made them look just fine – so i’m going to go back to cvs tomorrow and ask for reprints for free. but then besides that, the pics aren’t that great either. nate looks funny in them..his face looks weird, it looks like he’s sick or something. and then there’s me, and i rarely like any picture that i’m in…there is one that adr took when danielle was home that after i fixed the brightness, is really cute. so if i can get that one reprinted decently, it’s going to niger with nate.

right so mom decided to be nice and get the film developed for me while we were out shopping and stuff. i appreciate it, cuz she paid for it, but she also saw the picture i took of nate laying on the bed in the hotel sunday with no clothes on… LOL ok he’s got clothes on, but not much clothes. she’s like “i dunno about that beefcake picture of nate” and i was like “huh?!?!” then i was like OH FUCK hahaha. oh well.

so tomorrow afternoon out with nate again. not sure why though. NOT QUESTIONING IT. i called him to cancel our morning plans since we don’t have to go where we were supposed to have to go anymore, and he was like, still want to go out in the afternoon? so yeah…then my parents are taking us to dinner at night, before the hollowpoint show (it is 5$, i was right). japanese again, but a different place. it better be the same kind of food tho or i won’t be eating anything all night :P.

i’ll post some of the pictures later after the sabres game. adr will be here any minute. i figure the game tonight has to be semi decent, since buffalo is the worst in the league, and toronto isn’t much better haha. one of the teams has to win (or tie, whatever), so i’m hoping it’s at least entertaining…the tix cost alot 😛

actually had a party at work today, so i didn’t leave til around 9. went to nate’s house to figure out what to do. we went to see the Jackass movie… holy shit it was brutally hilarious. so fucked up. it was fantastic. hehe. i recommend it if you liked the show. funny shit… and gah, johnny knoxville has the nicest hip groovies *drool* anyway, after the movie, came back and chilled here for an hour and i took him home. exciting times. i’m so tired. i thought i was going to die earlier. seriously. i almost passed out during preshift meeting at work, then was having major heart/chest pains. felt like crap pretty much the entire night til i left work. i’d feel better, then crap again, then i was just super tired. i feel ok now, the laughing made me feel better i guess. haha

 

unhappy. had 2 dreams about nate which have made me very…blah…so far today. i’d really like to see him later, but i don’t think that’ll happen unless i beg. which i’m on the verge of doing. i think i’m going to call him and tell him i’m very unhappy and would like to see him later after work…make him feel bad enough to hang out with me later. that sounds so bad…as if i have to make him hang out with me. ug.

didn’t have to beg him. just had to ask. no clue what to do tonight tho…i need to call adr about the game tomorrow.

i have such bad pillow marks on my face, that 2 hours after i got up, they’re still there.

carolyn told me about this a while ago, and i just read it again. not sure how true it is, but i’m going to look into it. apparently i could easily become a german citizen, and therefore get a german passport. i guess the way it goes, is german citizenship is more based on background then birthplace. like, if you have french parents but were born in germany, that doesn’t make you german. you’re just a frenchman born in germany. so therefore since i have my german dad, but i was born in america, i’m still german…weird, eh? so i think i’m going to look into that, because 1. having a german passport and saying i’m a german citizen would be way friggen cool, and 2. using a german passport would be easier to travel with given the whole, the-entire-world-hates-america thing. and hopefully i could get a better passport picture than the one i have on my US passport now. worst.picture.of.me.ever. lol

well looking into it online, it appears unlikely that i could do this…but hey it was a cool idea.

random piece of info for today: david fincher (fight club, seven, panic room…) directed michael jackson’s “who is it” video…. WHO KNEW!?!?! i’m impressed lol.

 

i got to work a whole whopping 3 hours today! yaayyyy… got sent home at 1:30. the retail girl was jealous i’m scheduled for 4 days this week, and i was like haha riiight, 4 days. the amt of hours i get in those 4 days equals about 2, if that :P. they usually keep me until 8 when i work at night, but i’m doubting they’ll even keep me that long this week. whatever.

i hate talking to nate on the phone more than anything else in the world lol. he told me to call when i had my schedule, so i called after i got home and ate etc. i hate using the phone, and i know he doesn’t like talking on the phone either, so i hate calling him cuz i feel like i’m bothering him all the time. he’s always real quick to get off the phone, as if he’s annoyed, when i know he just hates the phone as much as i do. and since we don’t talk on the phone, he assumes i’m always calling to see if he wants to go out, so he always has some kind of excuse ready… i don’t mean it like that, but like i called him today and he asked what my schedule was, and then he was like, well i got chores and stuff to do here cuz i got a late start on the day blahblahblah as if i wanted to hang out right this moment. which i didn’t, i called cuz he told me to. it just makes the whole experience of calling him weird hah. but anyway, he said he might call to do something tonight. not counting on that really, but we’ll see i guess. it’s funny, cuz i work the next 2 nights, but i’ll be out by the time nate’s done eating dinner, so it all works out haha. i was going to go get his going away gift today, but mom said to wait til next week when i can get a big discount LOL. apparently she’s got stuff she wants so she’s gonna leave me a list and money to go get it all for her while she’s gone. i desperately need some pictures of me and nate not at work, so i gotta have my mom act all stupid and silly and get her to take pics of us to use up the rest of my film. i can just blame all the pictures on my mom being silly, and not me wanting them 🙂 haha. mom is the scapegoat.

speaking of pictures… i wake up in the morning and mom always says to me “you better not let nate see you like that”…so we got the halloween pics developed, and she put the doubles in an envelope for me to give to nate…well the envelope is way heavier than it should be for only 2 pictures, so i’m like ok…i open it (cuz she sealed it) and inside are other pictures of just me on halloween, me looking stupid the night before trying the wig on, and me after i just woke up one morning WTF IS THAT?? lol…yeah i’d like him to have some pictures of me, but how about good pictures where i look cute?!?! lol needless to say, i took the “extra” pictures out of the envelope.

i gotta find out when my mom needs me to take her to the airport. i don’t think it’s this week, i think it’s next week. but my days are all screwed up and i don’t really know. eric scared the crap out of me cuz he’ll be home from RIT soon for thanksgiving break… i was like IT’S THANKSGIVING ALREADY? WTF! but no it’s not haha. i’m not sure when the parents are going to cali and when they’re getting back, so i’m all confused. and i guess they’re definitely not going to michigan for the babyshower over thanksgiving now…i’m totally craving thanksgiving dinner. i’ll probably have to work. i think i should request a few of those days off over thanksgiving time…don’t want to be spending my time at work, cuz it’s actually a super busy weekend, when nate leaves a few days later.

i am so exhausted. i’m about to pass out lol. i guess that’s what you get for not getting much sleep for 5 days.

back from indiana, obviously. soooo here’s a recap.

we left from nate’s house around 9:30. i drove really fast, because there were no cops anywhere. it only took us two and a half hours to get to cleveland heehee. but my fast driving didn’t seem to make up any time, because we didn’t get to danielle’s until 6ish anyway, which was longer than the directions anticipated. probably because i went 90 and nate went 75 when he took over the wheel lol. so yeah, got to danielle’s and saw her apartment. it’s really nice. 2 nice sized bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, big living room, kitchen, little porch thing. very nice. she has a kitten, he’s cute, scared of people. hehe.

the three of us went out to dinner to a steakhouse place, like outback but cheaper, and had a good dinner there. rented 2 movies on the way home, because danielle was too tired from school to do anything out, and nate and i weren’t that up for going out either. so we watched queen of the damned (surprised?) and true romance, cuz it’s one of nate’s favourite movies. drank half a bottle of southern comfort…lol all good. danielle went to bed, and nate and i followed around 2. let’s just say this. i’m too old to sleep on the floor. it was beyond frustrating. so painful, couldn’t sleep, frustrated that nate was sleeping and i wasn’t LOL. he’s like, just relax, i’m like ARG I CAN’T haha. but when we got up in the morning he was like, tonight, definitely going with the futon.

so saturday…went out for breakfast, then back to the apt to get directions to dayton. headed out there to find shannon hoon’s grave. the directions didn’t make sense to danielle so she went looking at blind melon fan sites to see if they had directions, and shannon’s mother has a site with directions…and apparently if she’s there when you go she’ll take you home and feed you and stuff. we were all like, thank god she wasn’t there, because really…we didn’t even like blind melon LOL what would you say to his mom?!?! but yeah, it wasn’t hard to find at all, so we stood there, looked at all the stuff people left at the grave – a bottle of ketchup, checkers, letters, etc. i took a picture, i’ll scan it whenever i get that role developed. that took all of like 15 minutes LOL so we went to the mall after that, then back to danielle’s to chill since we were all still tired. ordered pizza for dinner, watched tv, and went out to the neon cactus that night with 2 of her vet school friends. it’s a bar/club/piano bar thing. very country, but they don’t play country music or we wouldn’t have been there. yeah nate made me dance. alot. it sucked LOL. nah it was fun, but i can’t dance, so i’m sure i just looked dumb. got to dance to nin’s “closer” oddly enough haha. it led nate to calling me his dancing queen for the next 2 days. but yeah. nate and i wandered around, danced some, went outside for a walk, wandered back inside again etc etc etc. it was a good time. got back to danielle’s around 2, and confisgated the futon cushion into the bedroom and passed out. ok well tried to sleep, and slept better than the night before at least.

got up late sunday, went out to lunch at bob evans, and packed up our stuff to leave. ended up leaving around 3 i think, and nate and i went and found the mall again. nate wanted to buy a purdue football, so we did that, and hit the road. nate slept, i drove. i made him drive once we got to the interstate cuz i was falling asleep. we stopped around 7 somewhere in ohio…wauseon or something…and found a motel for the night. got fast food dinner, and then went on an adventure to find some beer. first stop, grocery store. of course, they think our IDs are fake. they call the manager and she’s like, we’ve been advised by our legal counsil not to sell alcohol to people with NY licenses. we’re like wtf, we both have them, you can compare them and see they’re not fake, and we have 9374937 other forms of ID we can show you. they’re like we can only take ohio ID’s, do you have an ohio ID. i’m like WE’RE FROM NEW YORK! so NO why the hell would we have an ohio liscence?!?!? so they told us to try to get beer at the drive thru alcohol store (?!?!) so we drive around and find that place, go inside and they won’t sell it to us because it’s sunday. they’re not allowed to sell alcohol on sundays..so why was the grocery store going to sell it to us? and why did they sell it to the bunch of hispanic kids in line next to us?! so that person told us to try this OTHER place “downtown”…so we go “downtown” and find that place, and they lady doesn’t even ask for my ID, just nate’s, and sells it to us with no problem LOL. that was our little adventure in the middle of no where. so went back to the hotel with our alcohol for the night haha. didn’t sleep much that night either. we watched all of the 4 channels on the tv, and i was falling asleep but once we turned the tv off we were wide awake again. so nate was going to read, but i told him just to turn the tv back on that it didn’t bother me. so i tried to sleep and dozed off with the tv on, while he watched tv til like 4 lol. he started talking in his sleep during the night, first it was something that wasn’t even words so i was like what?!?! then he said something about adrienne, and having the thing adrienne has, i was like what?!?!?! and then something about how it’s ok cuz he has bad breath. i was like ok whatever LOL i didn’t know if he was awake or not, cuz he was sitting up talking to me, so i just ignored him and went back to sleep. and so did he lol.

today, got up at 10 with our wake up call (since there was no clock in the room…yeah the room…was interesting. it was nicer than our ghetto room in new orleans that’s for sure, but definitely not 5 stars…the shower, which was a midget shower – i have no idea how nate took a shower in there – was kinda scary…and the room was hella small but it was all good, and it was cheap), checked out and got some breakfast and hit the road again. nate drove most of the way this time because i was so tired and in pain from sleeping in bad places. got to his house around 4:30, dropped him off, came home. and here i am.

random remembrances i don’t feel like adding to the above in the appropriate place.
– apparently on the way to danielle’s i went the wrong way and was going south instead of north. all i was doing was following the signs, and staying on the route we were supposed to be on but nate claimed i was wrong. so mr map god (he is a geography major) gave me new directions etc. so sunday night, he randomly gets off the interstate, and i’m like ok?! where are we going? i thought he was just stopping at a restaurant to pee or something, but he didn’t. he’s like, i looked on the map and this is way shorter. of course it’s this 2 lane highway, and we’re stuck behind a truck going like 45 in a 55…so it probably ended up taking longer than if we had stayed on the interstate. he said that the road we were on would meet the interstate…and it did. we drove under it. no way to get on. ROFL so i’m like I’M TOTALLY ALLOWED TO MAKE FUN OF YOU NOW!! lol so we had to look at the map again to see if there was a way onto the interstate if we stayed on that road more, and there was. so i can’t make fun of him 🙁 hahah. it would have been hilariously irritating if we had to turn around and go back or something.
– almost got in 2 car accidents. when we were heading to dinner, danielle was driving her car, and just didn’t hit the breaks when the cars in front of us were because the light was green and green means go. so she had to slam on the breaks and swerve to not hit the car in front of us. then on sunday on the way out of indiana, it was raining, and i was driving. a car pulled out in front of me, with no problems, but i had to slow down a bit. well the person in the suv behind me wasn’t paying attention and had to slam on the breaks, you could hear the ABS working, and the tires squealing and sliding, to avoid rear-ending me. yeah that wasn’t pleasant.

i work tomorrow morning, OF COURSE lol. and then wed and thurs night, and i guess sunday night. friday is the sabres game with adrienne, and all i have to say is they better start winning. or at least have friday be a good entertaining game. it’s against toronto, it has to be good. thanks. 🙂

 

trying to keep myself awake since it’s far too early to go to bed. read the new rolling stone magazine. it was decent this time around, nice article about the simpsons, and a surprising pictoral on u2..written by bono, talking about pictures taken by anton corbijn over the past 10 years.

so my parents asked if me and nate got sick of each other, being together the entire past 4 days…no. we didn’t. we might have been too tired to hahah. as we neared his house, he said he was going to go to bed tonight, he wasn’t up for going out. i was like, um, we were supposed to go out?!?!? we just spent 4 days together, did not expect to see him tonight, or feel the desire to…i do expect to spend alot of time with him the next 2 weeks, because then he leaves. but i didn’t tonight. it didn’t even occur to me to go out once we got home lol. but anyway…i had a really good time this weekend etc, almost started crying today on the way home as he slept in the car tho. some stupid song was on that made me think about him leaving and stuff. but i controlled myself. lol. i actually feel sorta lonely right now. it’s weird. cuz i’m not lonely, but i feel as if he should still be here with me. lonely isn’t the right word. i guess i got used to spending the last 96 straight hours with him. despite of all this, oddly enough, i may be getting a better handle on him leaving for africa tho. there were times today where i was like, everything will be fine. life will be fine. it doesn’t matter what happens when he leaves, everything will be ok. i think communication with him will be there, albeit slow, over the next 2 years. i think i’m gonna stop talking about this now tho, because i don’t quite know what i’m saying i’m too tired to think. and i could talk myself into a really bad place with this hahah. so i think i’m more ok with everything, even tho sometimes the thought of him in the future with someone else makes me want to throw up. lol

i am so bored. i need a hobby.

all i want to do is go back to sleep. i’m so tired for no reason blah. i’ve done nothing since i got out of bed at 11. no i take that back, i went to aldi for my mom haha. otherwise i’ve done nothing. i really want to design a new site, but have nothing to do…

so the girl i know that is pregnant. well she’s not anymore. she had a “miscarriage” the same day she found out she was pregnant…there are so many holes in her story i really don’t think she was ever pregnant to begin with. and i’m not alone in my suspicions. real life is not a soap opera, you don’t need to go around faking being pregnant to get attention, or the love of your boyfriend etc. if anyone needed to fake being pregnant to capture a boyfriend it’d be me 😛

i am so tired wtf.

 

fishy enlightened me to a conversation we had in august where i was being super hyper:
vacant enigma: so am i beeing too stalker like if i go into work to have lunch wednesday, so i can see nate?
hahah

the end of an era is upon us. i took down the last of my mj posters from behind my bedroom door. but i was listening to HIStory while i was doing it, and now i’m watching the history munich show…it bugs me. it’s great, but it bugs me. because the parts that he lipsyncs…you can tell that the musicians aren’t even playing the background music live, and the background singers aren’t really singing. i don’t know if this is only the way they broadcast it on tv, or if that’s how it really was when i was there. you don’t notice these things when you’re there. but 3 big black guys are not singing the background vocals of “stranger in moscow” lol. it’s really just like, they’re playing the album version over the live visuals…and it’s bugging me a bit. it’s so obvious that jennifer batten is not playing the guitar solo during “they don’t care about us”…and it bugs me. that is all. hehe.