March 2003 Dreams

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March 23, 2003


few days ago: i was going to heather’s house to give her a christmas present. she couldn’t open it while i was there, but wanted me to see her open it, so we left it in the garage, and i was going to go back a week later to watch her open it. so i went back a week later, and we went into the garage to get the gift. we were talking about hamsters, and i was like, omg did i get you a hamster? i think i did. but i had forgotten i had gotten her one. so we had left the present on it’s side in the cold garage for a week with a hamster inside. we figured it would be dead from freezing or starving. she unwrapped it and it was still alive.
few days ago: i dreamed my teeth were loose. one was about to fall out, and it was bleeding so i was freaking out. i told my mom it was going to fall out and to call the dentist so he could push it back in like he did when i was 3 and was pushed face first into a door wall and knocked my tooth out. she didn’t believe me that my tooth was falling out. then i realized more of my teeth were loose and i was freaking out. then one of my molars fell out, so i spit it out and some of the roots were broken off and still in my gums. so i wanted to go to the dentist so he could get them out. then i was magically at work, and i put my tooth on my desk next to my keyboard and i saw that it was cracked in half, which is why it fell out. it was so brittle and weak that every time you slightly touched it it would break again.

last night: dreamed about the cast of Growing Pains ??!?!?!?!?
posted by sara @ 3:10 PM

March 17, 2003


i’m getting slightly disturbed by the theme of my dreams the past month. 4 dreams about people being dead (nate, nate’s dad, my dad, maurice bernard?!?!), 2 about free falling elevators, 2 about body injury.
the other night: i dreamed i was living in a college dorm situation with my middle school friends. it was the end of the year i guess, because we were all moving out. we were trying to pack. there was a bit of animosity and i wanted to move out as soon as possible. i thought i had packed all my stuff, and figured i’d come back when they were done to see if there was anything left that was mine. then andrea was there, and nicki, and andrea went to give nicki the finger – but in a way like she’s reaching into a pocket to pull something out, and then gives the finger. but she did it with her sleeve, she reached up her other sleeve, and when she pulled her hand back out, she was holding her hand in the other. (confusing, i know). she had cut her hand off at the wrist with a plastic knife, and was holding her severed hand out to nicki. i suddenly remembered that she had been trying to slit her wrists with a plastic knife at dinner the day before, and she finally succeeded in cutting her hand off. we tried to smoosh her hand back to her arm, as if it would fuse together and be fine.

last night: 2 people were playing black jack with eachother, and whoever won got to cut off the fingers of the other person. each hand you lost, you got a finger cut off. they were using big midieval axes to chop fingers off.
posted by sara @ 5:49 PM

March 13, 2003


2nd dream in the past few weeks about free falling elevators.
i was with my aunt carol in vegas, and we got into the elevator and were going to the 4th floor. i think we had been being chased by some people after us, because we were a bit leery of what we’d find once we got out of the elevator. the elevator doors closed, and there were mirrors in the elevator. i saw me and my aunt reflected in them, but i saw the reflection of a little boy who was not in the elevator. then i realized it was my ghost companion. he pulled me back against the back wall of the elevator, trying to protect me. so i yelled to my aunt, who couldn’t see my ghost companion, to get back against the wall with me, because the ghost knew something was going to happen and was trying to protect me. we both assumed there would be someone waiting for us when the doors opened. we got up near the 4th floor, and the elevator cables broke and we started free falling in the elevator. gravity felt super strong as we fell, and my aunt fell down and sat on the floor. i remained pushed against the back wall, waiting for the impact of hitting the ground. but we were just falling still so i figured the building must have a bunch of basements we were still falling through.

notes: the ghost part is directly from anne rice’s “blackwood farm” that i’m reading. don’t know about the rest.
posted by sara @ 3:02 PM

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i have 2 potential website jobs. which i find interesting, since the site has been up for maybe a month now, and i haven’t advertised it at all…of course, this comes at the worst possible time, when i’ll be spending 13 hours a day at the casino half the week. we’ll see what happens. my legal counsel requires me to consult them before accepting any job, so we’ll see what happens. that is, if these people want to hire me in the end anyway.

ozzfest tix at 10, dentist at 11…more tomorrow.

ok wait. i’m really fucking confused. just went to ticketmaster for some reason, to check on the ozzfest prices etc…thought maybe they screwed up and put tickets on sale tonight…now it says tix don’t go on sale til april 4th…???? wtf. at least i have a dentist appointment that requires me to wake up early, or i’d have been hella pissed to get up at 10 to get tix and have them not be on sale. hoping it’s a goof tho, and tix still go onsale tomorrow. i need this to be over with so i can rest easy that i have my ozzfest tix.

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ug so things are maybe possibly sorta worked out. i talked to robert whose pit i was in tonight, because he’s the one who’s going to be calling tomorrow. i told him what happened at HR and all the bullshit i’ve been getting, and he said that he’ll most likely call tomorrow, but even if he doesn’t to show up on monday. there is some concern as to if the HR lady actually put me on the list or not, because i didn’t see her write my name on the list…she just typed stuff in the comp and said she put me on the list. but robert knows what the deal is, and so things are pretty much settled i think/hope. haha knowing robert he won’t call on purpose to freak me out. i’ll have to yell at him tomorrow if he doesn’t call. i still don’t know what game i’ll be learning though..since the HR lady didn’t actually ask me any questions…and robert just kept saying “you’re gonna deal craps right?”…i answer everyone the same way: i’ll learn whatever whoever wants me to learn, and i got the “Becareful what you say” response again, from someone else this time. haha.

so this “crush” i have (it’s not on robert) is so wack…it’s like i’m turning into carolyn…(ex)boyfriend in africa, crush on a 35 year old divorcee hahah. at least my crush isn’t hairy 🙂 hehe sorry.

so besides all this crap i think i’m getting sick. just when i was thinking how i got through the winter without getting really sick, i only got nate’s mild cold that he had before he left, i think i’m getting sick. last week my throat was all weird, but that went away. then yesterday my glands behind my ears were so swollen it hurt to chew. that went away today, but i got a headache so i took my drugs, then took more drugs, and still had the headache, but felt tired and drugged up lol. then i was freezing more than i normally freeze at work. so blah. i hope i don’t get sick. i hope i don’t have the killer new disease, because knowing me, i’d get it. there are always tons of asians at work, and who knows if they’re from around here, or just flew in from hong kong or something.

and oh yeah. i checked ticketmaster from work for ozzfest…can’t do the korn presale cuz i don’t have a password. but they had prices finally…gonna go for 300 “level” seats for 65$…that works.

 

soooooo HR said they’d call between 1 and 3 today…robert said he was going in at 1 to start calling. figuring i was at the bottom of the list i thought they’d call at 3….they called at 11. i was sleeping. i called back, the lady isn’t there. LOL god this is a comedy of errors. since i didn’t have time at work to blog about what really happened at HR, you won’t understand, but i’m surprised the lady called me instead of robert…

sold 55$ of stuff today…the money should start coming in soon. and i totally just forgot what else i was gonna say. oh yeah, i might have a web design job to do…i had gotten an email about it in that default icenine box, so i replied but possibly not to the right email address (comedy of errors again)…haha

i so don’t want to get up to buy these ozzfest tix tomorrow. i wish we could just get the damn presale password, but the korn.com board lips are sealed. fuckers. fishy suggested trying “kabbage” and i did, but it wasn’t the right password…aww…hehe

 

dealer school 1:30 – 5:30 starting monday… now was that so hard that she couldn’t just tell me that yesterday? still don’t know what game though…

 

gah gah gaaaahhhhhhhh a perfect circle is playing a handful of lollapalooza dates on the west coast gaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!! damn west coast!!!!!! you know what that means right??? neeeeewww material!!!!! new hope for good music for me to buy….new hope for maybe more dates out here some where. all my bands are gonna tour at the same time. it’s gonna be hella killer on my bank account hahah.

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it turns out that the pit boss i have a crush on (haha have i mentioned that) is teaching at dealer school. he was asking me about it yesterday, then started laughing and grabbing me and said he was teaching. so i was like, cool, what are you teaching. he goes, whatever you’re taking hahaha. i guess he’s for real teaching baccarat, which i’m like 99% sure not to be taking. i thought he might be teaching roulette, but nope. but he started teaching me roulette last night, cuz there were a few dead games. told me the odds and the payouts and stuff. all good.

so i gotta go down to work extra early today to go talk to HR. i have to be interviewed…..again. but this time, it’s like, i’m already for sure in the class, this is just a formality. some of the teachers are doing the interviews, but i’m not allowed to be interviewed by them because they already know who i am…blah. so i have to talk to some woman. i don’t know why the people who i know can’t interview me…it would make sense, because they already KNOW me, and they know that i want to deal and that i’d be good at it. i guess this is where i get to pick the game i want to learn too. i just keep assuming they’ll throw me in black jack, but i don’t know. a bunch of people keep telling me to do craps because black jack sucks. then mr crush keeps telling me to do roulette. he said if your good at math to do roulette or craps cuz they involve math, where as black jack and the card games are more agility, and stuff, not as much math. i don’t care. whatever i need to take to get me out of my department is fine with me.

other than all that, work was pretty boring. there was some excitement tuesday when i was off, but i can’t talk about it 🙂 lol

i sold stuff to 3 more customers. i’m thinking i maybe shouldn’t have advertised on the australian msg board, because these aussies buying my stuff all think i’m from australia, and then i have to break their hearts and tell them i’m in the US and postage is gonna be between 9 and 15$ us…which is like 927340982374 aussie dollars hahaha. and i’m STILL waiting on confirmation for a few sales from monday. i should give them a time limit, that if i don’t hear from them and know payment is being sent, that the stuff goes back on the market. cuz ppl keep trying to buy the same stuff. oh well. this money i’m making is gonna go to my ozzfest ticket, which i found a way to justify spending 80$ for, for seats hahah. i figure if i was going to see korn on a solo tour, it’d be around 40$…and if i was going to see marilyn manson on a solo tour it’d be around 40$…so right there, you got 80$ that would be spent on seeing the same bands…then throw in ozzy, which will be great, and the 15 or so other bands playing…and you got justification for spending 80$ on seats 🙂

time to shower, and eat, and go to work.

 

i’m at work. i’m getting tired of the run around i get with this dealer school crap. went to talk to who i needed to talk to, and they have to call me tomorrow to let me know if i’m in or not….how many ppl have i talked to now? who all said i can go? like 9807324907324 + 1…i’m going to go no matter what. i’ll just show up like the day shift manager told me to do. i am soooo going. 😛

i found out where all my pc.com email has been going to….my default icenine address. haha. there were like 230 msgs in the box. for some reason i can check that account through webmail, but not my real email account. i dont get that but whatever. i gotta remember to clean that box out every now and then. most of it was spam.

so i gotta entertain myself here for another half hour…

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i’m having issues with my cassette recording cuz the tape is messed up…one channel goes out in a few songs. i’m using nero to record, but you can’t really edit things in it. you can to an extent, and you can add effects and stuff. but all i want to do is edit one channel and it won’t let me. you can only edit both at the same time. if i could just copy the one channel into the other, the songs would be fine but noooo…i can’t do thaaaat. ug. annoying.

for some reason i got banned from some mj msg board lol. they said my name (opaltranquility) was inappropriate…and that i need to read the rules of the forum so that everyone enjoys their visits to the board. ooookk yeah whatever.

i’m really bored. i was going to go to mailboxes etc to see if they have things to ship records in but i don’t feel like going. and i don’t feel like buying them when i haven’t recieved any payments yet.

there’s a korn fan club ozzfest presale for darien…but i’m not sure if i’ll be able to do it, since the emails danielle has gotten about the korn presales don’t give you a special password or url to use…so i’m a bit confused. won’t hurt to try tho….yep you need a password. and a password we don’t have…hmm. i don’t get it. they send danielle emails about presales, but not how to get the tickets. makes tons of sense.

i got the martin biron autograph puck i ordered for danielle from keebler and tops today…i had forgotten about it. his signature is weird, i thought i was holding it upsidedown, but i’m not. i looked at some others online and they’re all the same…haha it must have been weird for him to just sit at his house and autograph puck after puck for this special offer lol.

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so far today, sold another 55$ worth of stuff, and found another tshirt to sell. still waiting to hear back from 2 others to complete sales for another 60$ more. these poor australians tho…they’re gonna pay out the ass for postage. especially if the person really wants to buy all these vinyl records i’m selling.

found out that while i can use paypal to transfer money, i can’t accept paypal payments made on credit cards…i can only accept them if they’re coming out of checking accounts. if i want to accept credit card payments i have to upgrade my account and pay 2.9% plus 30 cents per transaction…no thanks. well i suppose i COULD stand to pay that but…i don’t really want to lol.

today’s project, recording cassettes into mp3.

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i’m wearing this red, white, and black striped abercrombie/rugby type shirt that appeared in my room, and oh my god i look ridiculous…this is sooo not me. seeing my reflection in the mirror wearing this shirt makes me want to punch myself. i despise me for wearing this shirt.

dealer school is indeed starting on the 31st…1:30 – 5:30 mon – thurs. i’m gonna have to run from school to work if i want time to scarf something down for dinner. but that’s ok. now the only problem is knowing if i have to go to HR to sign up, or if they already know i’m going since i signed a list 2 months ago…and cuz i’ve bugged the day shift manager a bunch of times…i’ll ask around wednesday.

it’s my weekend finally. last week seemed to drag. last night i switched to the good pit, but was still bored to death. played minesweeper a few times lol. my internet use is an inside joke between me and the shift manager now. he walked by and asked me if i was downloading porn again haha.

time to go to the post office to send andy his mj stuff, and a card and war news to nate. i need gas super badly, and i need more drugs. and i’ve come to the conclusion that my pain killers definitely make me high for a little bit after i take them, and i only take 1 instead of 2 haha…

 

sometimes i think my life is very amusing. i become famous for all my stories, and the people i tell my stories to get a kick out of the fact i know alot of colorful people. i went to the post office, and sent out my stuff. the guy was older, maybe in his 60s. he starts talking about how niger gets him in trouble..i’m like ok. i thought he meant something about how he does things wrong when sending mail to niger…then he says something else about how they named the country, and i realized he was talking about the N word…LOL. so he starts saying how it always gets him in trouble, how it’s pronounced N-eye-ger and not….the N word. then he starts saying something he was watching on tv talking about “coloreds” and how you can’t use that term now a days LOL. this whole time i’m trying to leave hahah. it was wack.

i’ve sold 80$ worth of stuff today, with a possible 60$ish more – just waiting for replies. i found a site that sells MJ stuff for the most unreal outrageous prices…and sure it has tons of promo and japanese etc stuff that i’ve never seen…but i have this really gay jackson 5 record…picture disc with gay knit glove…that i won in an mj trivia contest years ago. they’re selling it for 77$!!!! i’m selling it for 6 cuz i thought it was so lame. hahah. maybe i should change some of my prices lol. either way, i offered to sell the MJ site some of my things, and i’m waiting to recieve their offer. i’d rather sell them to fans then to this company who will jack the price up a couple hundred. but if the price is right…

speaking of price is right, the casino has the raddest price is right slot machines. you get to play bonus games of plinko or cliff hangers, and spin the wheel.. i wanna play so bad, but of course, i can’t. they’re only nickel machines too hehe.

also i have a new project. making mp3s from cassettes. only problem is the tape deck we have hooked up overheats and starts squealing, so i can really only do 1 or 2 songs an hour LOL. this will keep me occupied for a long time yay.

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i can’t watch tv anymore, and i can’t read the news. the more and more i hear about what is going on the more and more that i hate it, and i hate america, and i hate george bush. you would think that dubya and his cronies would get a clue when the ENTIRE WORLD is protesting this war. and you would think they’d get a clue when there is a giant anti-war movement before the war even started. ug ug ug ug ug.

there’s all kinds of drama going on at work, and somehow i get put in the middle of it, with both sides telling me what the other side is or is not doing…of course both sides contradict each other, so i have no clue what really has happened. good thing is, i have no emotional involvement with these people so i could really care less what is going on haha. i got caught on the internet at work yesterday by the freaking shift manager LOL. he laughed, so i don’t think he really cares. he told the pit boss i was downloading porn hahaha.

i’m in for one helluva sucky bored to death night…more pits have the computers now, so i’ll be sitting and watching roulette for 8 whole hours tonight. at least i can see how much money i would win if i was really playing roulette.

already sold some mj stuff, and resold the dragon jacket. so i got some money coming in soon. and i realized, i’m really not broke in the slightest. i have like twice as much money in the bank than i thought i did hahah. and adr still owes me 50.

ozzfest goes on sale saturday. can’t find price info tho, ug.

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hello. it’s been a few days, i know. i 1. haven’t had much to say 2. have been busy working on something.

i should talk about the war, but frankly i’m tired of getting pissed off and frustrated thinking about it. apparently a bunch of cocktail waitresses at work were in the bathroom crying when Dubya was on tv declaring war. i’m scared of the consequences, i’m scared of how dubya is destroying world order, i’m not scared of actual war. yeah it sucks, and i can’t imagine what it would be like to be in baghdad and under attack but…i’m not there, so i don’t have to be scared. the end…did i mention how funny my parents are? a few weeks ago when the news was covering the big war protests, they asked someone why they didn’t attend. the person responded stuff about how protests don’t work, there’s no point in protesting because it’s not going to change anything. my parents were both in shock. i laughed and told him to remember that person wasn’t from their generation, and must not have ever learned about the civil rights movement etc. my mom said she might have to break out the love beads and the peace sign necklaces and go protest haha.

i got my hair cut. i have like…a reverse mullet now. short in back, long in the front. speaking of mullets, the other day at work one of the bosses and one of the floor were having a mullet spotting contest LOL. i told the boss about our mullet hunting at canal fest, he loved it lol.

a tribute band to my favourite band in the world, the beatles, has been playing at work…gaah…they’re pretty good, but still…they dress up like the Ed Sullivan beatles. i thought it would be rad if they changed clothes after each set, to reflect different beatles era’s…and like come out in sgt peppers clothes hehe. then this other band played, who is a 60s cover band maybe… i thought it was the beatles again, but then they were playing the stones, and they played bowie’s “jean genie”. which i also heard at Friday’s yesterday…weird cuz i never heard of the song til i dled the best of cds… haha.

yeah so went to Friday’s with danielle yesterday for a late lunch. it was good. got caught up on stuff.

oh yeah, i went to a party thursday night after work. a girl from my dept was throwing it at her house. so i went over there with my sup for a few hours. it’s weird how showing up at one party has made the ppl there be much nicer to me at work lol. i sliced my hand open trying to open a beer. lol. it’s infected now blah. it hurts.

k gonna get dressed and stuff and go back to working on my project.

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there’s a new ikea unboring commercial. 2 people are going to get it on, on the kitchen counter. there is a creamer shaped like a cow on the counter, and the woman knocks it off the counter and it smashes on the floor. the ikea man comes on and says “i bet you feel sorry for that cow. you’re stupid. novelty items can be replaced with better items at ikea” (or something like that). somehow, not as funny as the lamp commercial. you just can’t top the lamp commercial.

some guy tried to pick up my mom at d&k LOL. she said he came up to her and said “Are you miss america?” my mom said, no why? he said “Because you should be.” ROFLMAO. fabulous.

i might get my hair cut today or tomorrow. mom just cut some of my mullet off but now it looks weird, cuz i want the back shorter and i dont trust her to do it. we don’t have one of those cool razor things. i told mom to call nancy, but she’s all like blaaaaah. i might have to call myself tomorrow. hate the fone.

next year, when i get paid vacation days, i’m going to vegas. everyone start saving your money, cuz i don’t want to go by myself. next spring…you got a year to save funds.

so regarding my future, and job and such…at the moment i think i’m going to try to stay in this business for a while. of course this could change if i absolutely hate dealing. but this is an industry that is growing, and is a legitimate career if i want it to be. lots of money to be had here. i just gotta start dealing, learn my games, and put in my time. most of the people i’ve talked to worked a few years dealing before getting promoted. and i looked at some vegas hotel sites, about jobs, and the nice places (aka on the strip) require at least 2 years dealing experience to be hired just as a dealer. i think if i really do end up staying in this business, at some point i’ll have to end up in vegas. and i’m fine with that. i can deal. you just stay in AC all the time 🙂 i’d rather go to vegas than atlantic city *barf*. i think once i start dealing, i’m going to stay on the night shift. i already know everyone on the shift, and i like the people i’d be working with (mostly)…i’m used to it now. you get more practice cuz it’s busier, and i overheard someone saying if you are serious about this, and want to move up on the ladder, you want to be on that shift.

on another, more frightening note…my dad works at the power authority and they found out this week, that there had been a significant threat against the plant a few weeks ago…and they didn’t tell the employees, because they didn’t want people to get worried. i asked what exactly a “significant threat” is, apparently a gasoline tanker truck was going to try to crash into the plant…HOW SCARY IS THAT ug. i hate this. i need to move to a remote island that won’t get attacked, and won’t feel any nuclear fallout. you know why all this is happening right? cuz bush is stupid, and didn’t pay attention in history class. he missed the lecture on how history repeats itself, and the lecture about the cold war, nuclear proliferation, mutual assured destruction, nuclear winter etc…and how the UN is supposed to work…

fishy: he called the terrorists “thugs” I was laughing so hard. I had this mental image of “Yo Iraqi Raps”. oh yeah and the latest DC news tidbit…there is a guy that has been holding DC hostage with a tractor since yesterday. God Bless America.

all this war stuff…i’m very against it, but i think i’m against it for reasons that are different than the peace loving hippies. i have no doubt we would win any war against any “axis of evil” country…pure fire power alone we win. it’s the precident this sets for the future that worries me. this is the end of the UN. to quote REM, this is the end of the world as we know it. nothing is going to be the same after this. dubya is destroying the world. and then there’s the whole biological warfare bit. hey dubya might be single handedly responsible for the destruction of the entire human race!! how exciting! we’ll all get the new killer pnemonia and small pox, and become extinct for future evolution of human-esqe beings to excavate and theorize about our extinction! or even better, there will be a few of us with superhuman immune systems who overcome the diseases, and then we become responsible for continuing the human race, and we’d get to have alot of sex. i got dibs on the hot guy!

but hey, my generation is getting good stories to tell their grandchildren, when before all we had was the challenger explosion, and the first gulf war – 2 things we were too young to really have stories about. 😛

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