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no one stole my flamingo. my mom threw it out cuz it got broken in half while i was on vacation. so i need a new one.

there are new commercials for the casino and hotel on tv, and they feature motley crue’s “kickstart my heart” which thrills me to no end hahaha.

coming home there was “tons” of traffic. considering it is possible for me to drive home and not see a single car, seeing a line around tim hortons, and lots of other cars on the road is “tons”. all those insane people getting up to go to 5am sales. something i will NEVER ever do. good luck to them. aside from adr1 i’m done with xmas gifts. mainly cuz besides my parents, adr1, and baby megan, i’m not buying gifts for anyone else. except for my “project” for adr2. if i ever get around to starting it haha.

i hadn’t worked a thanksgiving day before, so i didn’t know what to expect. seemed like a normal day, slowed at the end. i dealt on 4 different tables haha. i kept getting moved around. did pretty good on tokes all things considered. i stayed after to count tokes since i have two 10-6 shifts this weekend, so i won’t make 40 hrs. prob will stay to count again on sunday.

hope everyone had a good thanksgiving. i tried to come up with things i’m thankful for but i couldn’t really think of any. cuz there are times when i’m not thankful that i’m alive and healthy. and i couldn’t really think of anything else. i am thankful that trent reznor got sober and is still alive and making his art. there.

i was trying to remember my new years resolutions from last year. i think i made one to take vitamins every day, and i am still doing that. but i’m not exercising every day, or even once a month hahaha. i don’t know if i made any others. i can’t remember doing a post about it. i’ll have to think of some for this year.

i have nothing interesting to say.

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

i can’t take this porn to break this

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after a year and a half someone stole my flamingo. i’m very upset. i need a new one. one that glows again preferably. dude this sucks. first my neighbor gets robbed, and now someone steals my flamingo. grrrrrrrrr.

so cold was good. i think. hard to tell when you only sorta recognize 2 songs. the other 2 songs that i for sure did know they didn’t play. crowd seemed kinda sucky, and scooter even said so. they did alot of slower stuff, and i guess alot from the new album. maybe i should listen to their albums finally haha. it was fun hanging out with phill and dave. they’re not retards so hahaha. went to eat n park! haha. i smell like smoke. and it’s something i’m not used to, even tho i work in smoke every day. i’m not used to going places where people can smoke anymore, being in smokefree ny. i hate people smoking at shows cuz i always think they’re gonna burn me. AND OHMYGOD there was this couple right in front of me, and it’s like CAN YOU PLEASE DISCONNECT FROM EACHOTHER FOR A FUCKING HOUR, YOU’RE AT A ROCK SHOW FOR GODS SAKE. i had to move. i couldn’t take it. and even though there was no “hurt” to make out during, the managed with other songs. gah.

tomorrow is thanksgiving with the parents. then i work on thursday. i wanted to work tomorrow but for the first time they didn’t ask for volunteers for a 6th day. grrr. i need the money people!

oh and i still hate cleveland.

gotta figure out how to make this narcoleptic goats video play funniest thing ever. omg seriously. watch it. i can’t stop laughing and i’m here by myself so i feel like a complete idiot hahahaha

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people ask me if my job is depressing. and if it makes me sick to see people losing. and if i feel bad taking people’s money.

my job is only depressing when i think about how much people are losing compared to what i make. it makes me sick to think that a person tonight lost 30,000$ and it takes me a year to make that much. i don’t feel bad for these people, no one is pointing a gun to their head and making them play. they’re fucking idiots. but they’re losing my years salary in a few hours. THAT makes me ill when i think about it.

so i don’t think about it much.

going to cleveland tomorrow with phill and dave to see Cold. i know like, 2 cold songs. i have all the cds i just haven’t listened to them. my bad.

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

“without sounding like a pretentious art dickhead”…

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“The nearLY thing was…as soon as I got off the road from The Fragile tour, I went home and I was really kind of depressed. Not kind of depressed, I was really depressed. …… But I still got off the road and was so depressed and I think part of it, to be honest with you, was that I was really, really concerned about Trent. He’s been very honest and forthcoming about his alcohol abuse in interviews and he’s not bullshitting. I thought that he was doing irreparable damage to himself and that it was going to end in tears…… I wasn’t ready to be in a situation where I’m working with this guy that I really respect and care about and watching him try to destroy himself day after day.” – Jerome Dillon

how fucking adorable is that? i miss jerome. i wish he could have stayed.

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

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wow i had no idea donnie wahlberg was in Saw II. that made my night! the movie was good, but a bit predictable in spots. and not in the same way that you THOUGHT saw I was predictable. it did throw a twist or 2 in there, but i definitely knew certain things were coming. it did a good job showing how human nature makes you panic and that ruins everything. it would have been so easy to escape the situation if the people could calm down enough to use their heads and figure out how to do it. but it was good. really genius in ways of torture. and i like how they integrated things from the first movie. gave me a headache though. and i didn’t like the “piecing it together” thing at the end. it looked too much like you were suddenly watching a trailer for the movie.

and in other news. how is this for a dream about my life situation. i dreamed i was in prison. i don’t know what i did to get there, but i was in prison. i guess there was a mall in the prison because we could go certain places, and to stores, and everyone knew we were prisoners. jason from work worked at a spencers/hot topic type store in the mall. i guess i knew him from before my prison stint as well, but i’d always go see him. the day before i was set to be released, i was out in the yard with a few other girls. and apparently this was attica, they had built a new female wing of the prison. so we were in the yard sitting against one of the chain link fences. the warden came out, and we stood up and the fence ripped when i stood. so she thought i was trying to escape. and i was like “i’m getting out tomorrow, why would i try to escape today?” and then we got into this huge ass fight. and i kept thinking, oh great, now i’m not gonna get out, and i’ll be in here for the rest of my life. but they released me the next day anyway. but i stayed walking around inside for awhile, and i guess i went to see jason at the store. no one knew i had been released, so everyone was surprised and happy to hear that i was out finally. then it went on to something about me being in the air force and in charge of handing out guns to the people getting on the various planes, then going on as a tag along on missions on the planes. hah i dunno.

and i’m about 8 years too late with this but….south park is so funny. their social commentary is just hilarious.

Posted in: Dreams, Personal \ Tagged:

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vacant enigma: Extremely rare Canada Ouija Board hahahah
EatsTooMuchJam1: did you just make that up?
vacant enigma: no
EatsTooMuchJam1: What’s it from?
vacant enigma: ebay
EatsTooMuchJam1: Nice.
EatsTooMuchJam1: What’s the difference?
vacant enigma: nothing LOL
vacant enigma: looks exactly the same but they claim its extremely rare
vacant enigma: dunno why
EatsTooMuchJam1: Canadian ghosts possess it.
vacant enigma: scary
EatsTooMuchJam1: All of its answers end with “eh”
vacant enigma: alanis morisette would start haunting me
EatsTooMuchJam1: The board would only say “isn’t it ironic?”

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

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ok so i called him. he didnt say anything about being mad at me or anything. he wanted to go see saw 2 tonight but it’s snowing and cold and i’m anti social and don’t feel like leaving the house again so we’re going to go tomorrow. he was sorta blah when i said i didn’t want to leave the house tonight. i still think it’s over. but i think we’ll be able to be friends. we’ll see i guess. i honestly don’t care.

my shrink suggested i try to join some clubs, or take some fun classes at a college, and stuff to try to replace my old friends with new ones. i complain that i don’t know and don’t meet anyone new who understands at all what i like to do, and what i’m interested in, let alone being interested in the same things too. so he figures if i take a photog class or something i’ll meet other people who have the same interest. which is all fine and good except that i’m not a joiner, and even when i take classes i don’t meet people cuz i don’t talk to anyone. 4 years in college and the only friends i had there were the people i lived with over the 4 years. i don’t think he understands that i have a fundamental problem being too shy to talk to people, and that i’m anti social and don’t LIKE to talk to people. if i was able to talk to people and be friendly, i meet people all the time at work – i’d have tons of friends. but that plus the fact that i don’t have anything in common with most people my age creates a serious problem when trying to fill the empty holes people made and left in my life.

but i’m going to try. i probably will look into what CEPA is offering, and maybe take something at NCCC next semester. jeff ingersoll sent me a thing about the center for inquiry open house on saturday, so i might go to that. see what kind of other skeptics and athiest people i can meet. they do alot of interesting stuff (like haunted house investigations and paranormal stuff), so it’ll be neat. everyone there will probably be older than me too but oh well. i’ll probably sleep all day anyway and miss it. other than that though i don’t have a clue on what kind of things to look for and join. someone else suggested internet stuff, that they meet alot of people with the same interests on the net. and that’s true, i used to LIVE on irc because it was the only place i could find people who were mjfans too. but living in a chatroom is something i’m not too particularly interested in doing anymore, no matter how long i sit on my computer, and not very fulfilling since i still don’t have anyone to just like…go to dinner with or anything. there are tons of urbexers out there, and i’ve met some good people, but i’ve also met alot of ridiculously socially inept people from the boards too haha. this hobby doesn’t really appeal to the normal talkative outgoing type usually. and most of the buffalo explorers are retards so – not interested.

my shit schedule doesn’t really help much either.

i need to email jerry. i miss him.

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

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cut my hair off. it’s short. everyone’s going to hate it. i always hate the way she styles my hair after she cuts it, so i gotta figure out how to do it so it looks sorta cool. i gotta get used to it. it’ll grow back. i might go back and have her cut more off the front. dunno. whatever.

it’s snowing.

dunno if i should call tommy.

Posted in: Personal