omg im so lame. watching Flight 93 on A&E and i so totally can’t stop crying. holy crap. i don’t think i’ve seen any images of the actual 9-11 attack since it happened. it’s still as horrible as the day it happened.
dream
i think i had a night terror last night. was having this dream about going to some abandoned buildings near the marine star, but that don’t really exist. and in the dream i wasn’t sure they existed either. but i had a memory of going and hanging out in them with people all the time. they were like the baggage building, just 4 story office building like. so i went down to where they were supposed to be with a few people, and they were there, but very very hidden in tall grass. then there was this feeling of someone coming up behind us, this feeling of dread and impending death. so i tried to wake myself up. i opened my eyes, and i could see that i was in my room and i could see the window. but i was still asleep. i was trying to move my arms to smack myself in the face to wake up and i couldn’t move them, i was paralyzed. but since i was still asleep i was then dreaming that i was able to move them if i concentrated real hard, but they still weren’t moving. tried to move my legs and i couldn’t. totally scary. finally i was able to wake myself up. then i couldn’t go back to sleep for like an hour, i was too scared.
but then i had a dream i was at another u2 show with lei i think, and we were outside the circle against the rail on adam’s side. they did some slower new song, then the band members all come down into the audience. so adam comes down to the corner where the rails meet, and no one is standing there. so we’re like ok we’ll go talk to adam. cuz they come down to just chill with people. or i guess just adam came down, cuz then the band was playing again, but he was still there. so i had nothing to say to him really, but then he asked if he could ask us a question. so we were like sure, and he asked us if we thought the previous slow song was a bad idea for the show. lei said she liked it, but kinda was eh about it. so i was honest and i was like, no it’s not a good move in the setlist, it’s too slow and boring and it kills all the engery. and adam agreed with me and said he tried to tell the rest of the band that, but they wouldn’t listen to him cuz he was just a rock star. lol then they started some song from zooropa and i was like YES A SONG FROM A GOOD ALBUM! ha
i feel so so so so sick. something is very wrong with my head and it’s making my whole body feel just terrible. my head hurts but it doesn’t. if i don’t move it won’t hurt, but i still feel weird. once i move and walk around or up stairs it’ll hurt bad again. dizzy and yuck, eyes feel weird. nauseus, stomach weird. tired. even if i call my neurologist tomorrow i won’t get an appt for at least a month i’m sure. by then i might be fine. or i might be dead. something is very wrong. i feel like i’m in withdrawl but i haven’t stopped taking any of my meds. ug ug ug
dreams
ha had a dream about going to a jordan knight concert again. and everyone in the audience ended up laying on the floor to watch. then a dream i was faking being like 14 years old so i could go on a class field trip to paris. once we got permission to go we had to book our own flights, and it ended up that i was staying 3 days longer than the rest of the class. so i was like omg i’m gonna be alone in paris for 3 days. what am i gonna do cuz i so totally only know “ou est la boeff?” in french. but then i figured out all these neat places to check out that we wouldn’t be going to as a class so it was ok.
i think i may have discovered why my headaches have been so bad every single day again. dr has me taking more iron than i used to, and head pain is listed as a rare but severe side effect of taking iron. so going back to 1 a day. here’s hoping.
dream
dreamed i had a wonderful boyfriend and it was depp as willy wonka. hahah
i finally finished the Fellowship of the Ring. and i still think it was kinda boring. i spent half the book waiting for the story to begin, then i realized oh this IS the story. i don’t have all that much interest in reading the other 2 books, though i probably will once i get through the pile i have now to read. i am currently reading howard zinn’s A People’s History of the United States. it tells the “other side” of major historical events, most often from the perspective of the victim. the first few chapters are on columbus and the colonies’ treatment of indians, the slave trade, and we are now on…i forgot. but so far it’s good. but i’m a dork like that. i’m in a “brain turning to mush so i must read educational books” phase.
i’m tired of being so tired and always having a headache.
i have motivation to clean my house cuz i made plans for a bunch of people from work to come over on thursday for game night. how dorky are we. it’s supposed to be mahjong night, but since none of us (me, tony, phil, pat) really know how to play, it’ll probably turn into some other kind of game night. pat has tony’s mahjong book right now to learn to play, i have no clue at all hahah. cuz it’s not like mahjong on the computer lol
ha my neighbors car got totally drenched in white paint omg LOL or the biggest bird in the world shit on it.
urbex today with chris, rob, and 2 of rob’s friends who i forget their names cuz i’m a jerk like that. met them at the terminal, and while i was waiting this woman pulled up with about a 5 year old kid. they were looking around, and i offered to show them inside and the girl just about died haha. she was so excited. i wish i still got that excited seeing that place. haha. anyway, went down and met chris at silver creek high school. hurt my shoulder getting in, but i think i actually fixed it. it bent in the opposite direction that i use it to deal. so i think i’ve kinda stretched it the other way and it feels better now haha. i was hoping for alot of snow, but since this winter has totally sucked, i had to settle for just a dusting on the auditorium chairs. it would be really beautiful with tons of snow. i was hoping for the flooded basement to be frozen, but when i tested the ice out it broke. boo. anyway. had a good time with them. hopefully i’ll be able to go out with them again (they live in PA and OH so…). maybe if there is a big cold snap and snow i’ll go back out there.
next week is bethlehem steel. woo!
fav urbex locations
1. cargil veranda
2. concrete central “cord room”
3. flintkote machine room
4. silver creek green room
5. bct glass walkway
dream
this time, dreamed about u2. they were still on tour and they were doing this thing where the first 10 or so fans got to sit on the stage during the show. so of course that caused more riots than now it is now haha. but i went to a show and i got to sit on stage. it was really just sitting on the side of the stage and it sorta sucked cuz you couldn’t really see them. just hear it. i went to a 2nd show, got onstage again, but this time we got to actually sit on stage where people could see you. so i’m sitting in the middle of the stage near edge, who was on adam’s normal side though. edge was playing a steel drum that was made out of plastic and lit up each time he hit it. they finished that song, which apparently was from pop, and the crowd started chanting more pop more pop more pop. the show went on, and there was one song, where 2 other girls came and were sitting by me. bono came over and the 2 girls stood up and were all over bono and dancing with him. and i didn’t want to make an ass out of myself, so i scootched over and was like, i’m just gonna sit here and chill with edge, who was also now sitting on the stage. so i did, and he was all happy cuz he finally got a girl instead of bono. so he’s all cuddly with me and totally feels me up hahahah. then bono comes over to “fight for me” with edge, but he sorta looks like mick jagger close up, and i’m like wow bono you got so unattractive with age. i guess the show ends shortly after that, and i’m leaving and run into eric and i tell him how fun it is to be on stage for a show, and he’s like yeah duh. and there was this other girl there who had been on stage too, it was her 15th show, and she was all bragging. and then u2 was apparently playing jamestown the next day lol.
border baby
sometimes i think it’s really fun that on a whim i can decide to go to canada for 2 minutes. cuz that’s what i did. go me. i decided to finally go to the duty free shop on the US side, that supposedly sell urban decay makeup. and they do. woo! bought 2 eye shadows. they’re stuff is much more shimmery than mac. i think it’s strange tho how it kills me to pay 4$ for an eyeshadow at the grocery store, but i don’t care about a 14$ eye shadow from a high end cosmetic company haha. anyway. next time i go however, i have to remember to park at the big ice cream cone and just walk, cuz when you take your car, you’re required to then go to canada. lol. so i went to canada, turned around and came back. the US guy gave me a hard time, that the duty free is for people who are going to canada. hey mr homeland security, technically i DID go to canada. and i got a 99 on that stupid test that you had to take to get your job, which i’m sure is more than you scored. so :P.
but yeah. urban decay makeup. adr2/bliss if you still want the eyeshadow primer potion that sets the shadow, they have it at the rainbow duty free. 12$. just don’t park in the lot, park at the ice cream cone haha.
i really think it’s unneccessary to have such strict customs things for people who live near canada. it’s clear i’m from here, and ppl from here go to canada all the time. if i want to go to canada so i can buy 2 eye shadows, i should be able to without being harassed. there’s just no need. maybe i should look into nexus.
almost had an aneurysm at work when they tried to reassign me to midibacc. i really had a fit. and so they didn’t move me. but i swear to god, that game is going to give me a stroke or something. just this one spot in my brain gets sharp shooting pains in it when it comes to having to deal that game.
tomorrow dinner with kate. and steph and merdith want to come see the townhouse to see if they want to try to rent here. and haircut FINALLY thursday.