high school was EIGHT YEARS AGO holy crap.

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1) Where did you graduate from and what year?
North Tonawanda High School, 1998

2) Did you have school pride?
Not really. I just wasn’t involved with school. i painted the TNT window once. that window doesn’t even exist anymore and that makes me sad in a way.

3) Best Dance Ever?
I only went to 1 winter dance and 2 proms. i guess senior prom. i dunno. i don’t like dances. i just had mega cool hair and the best dress ever for senior prom.

4) Do you own all 4 Yearbooks?
yes i do. and they’ve been looked at so much (usually to make fun of people and update who has kids already) the binding is breaking.

5) What was the worst trouble you ever got into?
i didn’t get into any trouble. although i recently remembered that after i dropped french 4 someone reported to me that my french 4 teacher, and my previous french teacher were badmouthing me about it. so left both of them notes in their mailboxes saying that they should be more mature and shouldn’t talk about people etc. i was pissed lol.

6) What kind of people did you hang out with?
smart people LOL. i was in all advanced classes so i didn’t have much choice. that and the fact i have nothing in common with most people my age.

7) What was your number 1 choice of College in HS?
i only applied to state schools, i wanted to go to binghamton.

8) What radio station did you jam out to in highschool?
the edge, wblk for a period of 3 months in 10th grade. some canadian stations.

9) Were you involved in any organizations or clubs?
drama club for 1 semester until they stole all my props. foreign language honor society until i dropped french.

10) What were your favorite classes in High School?
AP US history, 12th grade english, calculus

11) Who was your big crush in High School?
scott rea. i can’t remember anyone else.

12) Would you say you’ve changed a lot since high school?
I still feel 15. i still look 15. haha

13) What do you miss the most about it?
angela. i don’t think i really liked high school. i was bored most of the time. i didn’t hate it, but i wouldn’t want to go back.

14) Your worst memory of HS?
psycho ex.

15) Did you have a car?
hah yeah right. luckily when i got my license 3 months before i turned 18, my mom had broken her ankle and so i got to use the car to drive to school every day.

16) What were your school colors?
Red and blue. Also, even though it’s not on here, our mascot was a lumberjacks.

17) Who were your favorite teachers?
afshani (us history), zayatz (12th grade english) hot!, um….guido was cool til he turned into a pervert. oo mr pearl. he rocked. 10th grade social studies.

18) Did you own a cell phone in highschool?
hahah no, no one did. ppl had pages towards the end of HS but that was it.

19) Did you leave campus for lunch?
no.

20) If so, where was your fav. place to go eat?
na

21) Were you always late to class?
never

22) Did you ever have to stay for Saturday School?
remember, i said i didnt do anything bad

23) Did you ever ditch?
again, no. i was a good student. i didn’t even leave early on vacation eves.

24) When it comes time for the reunion will you be there?
um…depends where i am in life. if i can sucessfully lie about what i’m doing with my life, probably. if i have a really hot boy, probably. i may go just to make fun of everyone (most likely lol)

25) Do you wish you were still in high school?
not particularly. except that i didn’t need a job at the time to pay for my amazingly high rent. hahahah

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

dream

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wicked dream about trent last night. me and trent were together, engaged or married i’m not sure. but we owned the terminal and lived there. but it was built on a lake. so the floor of the concourse was the frozen surface of the lake. and we owned a grocery store in the concourse LOL. there was a big whole part of us just living and normal life. then i was somewhere with someone and i noticed 3 old ladies rappelling from the ceiling into the lake through a hole in the ice. i was like wtf is this? first couldn’t believe they were 80 year old ladies, second that they were rapelling into a frozen lake and not immediately dying. then 4 more young kids were rappelling from the ceiling. well it wasn’t really rappelling, they had their ropes, but then they were swinging on them and trying to reach the ropes of the old ladies, which turned sorta into trapeeze lines, with the bar to hold on to. so i thought, hm…i better go find trent and see if he approved people doing this. he was working in the grocery store so i went in to find him, and jenn was a cashier and told me he was in back. so i go looking all around the stock areas and can’t find him. so i’m walking back up front and he appears. he said he was in the office doing schedules. and he was so happy. we went out to the concourse to see the rappelling people and the old women were doing it again. they reached the water and then weren’t getting out. you could just see their grey hair on top of the water. but they weren’t dead or drowning. that was just normal i guess. so trent and i decided to go somewhere so we went to the parking garage, which wasn’t underground like in real life. he was just so happy to be with me, and was so nice. we went to his car, a black porche, and were talking about something, and he said he’d buy me a new car, and he was all cute and smily.

and there was something about me with a baby. i think i was taking care of megan for jenn while she went on vacation or something. i don’t think that was a part of the trent dream.

Posted in: Dreams \ Tagged: ,

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tonight was one of those nights that i wish i was a character in chuck palahniuk’s “lullaby”. i wish there really was a poem i could resite in my head that would kill people at will. because i would kill every single fucker who plays any form of baccarat. as soon as they walked in, they’d drop dead. they’d fall down dead in packs. and everyone would think, weird, i wonder why all these people are just dropping dead. and no one would ever know. until maybe people realized we had no bacc players anymore. that might set off flags. maybe i’d have to go to their restaurants and nail shops to do it. i’d only have to kill the ones that i don’t know where they work at the casino. and i’m not talking asians here. i’m talking asian, white, black, purple, australian, EVERYONE. kill all those fucking pieces of shit.

or i wish i was a witch and had spells where i could do horrible things to all of them. and make sure they were in a living hell. with no money to gamble with. i dunno, herpes or something. flesh eating bacteria.

someone once asked me if i rip my cuticles apart because i want to hurt myself. you know, instead of cutting, or punching myself in the face. and i don’t. i seriously honestly don’t. i can remember exactly when the habit started. but there is a certain amount of satisfaction when i can rip a chunk of skin off that’s been really bothering me. and sometimes it’s enough of a satisfaction that i stop doing it for a while. and i know i do it when i’m upset which explains why 3 of my fingers are bleeding right now.

i need a drink. or 12. oh wait, i can’t drink more than 3 drinks without ending up in the ER.

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

dream

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dreamed i went back to carbosil in the snow, to see what it looked like with 6/7 inches of snow. walked around for a while, noticed a few things added that weren’t there last time like a cot, some wheel chairs, a clothes line, but no other footprints besides mine. i was leaving, and a cop was walking towards me. it was a girl cop. but i still thought damn, i’m so screwed now. so i walked toward her, and she said that her and her partner just needed to take some blood from me because they were doing a study on how much toxic chemicals and stuff people like me inhale when we go into these places. so i went with her to a building near by and they took my blood and that was about it.

Posted in: Dreams \ Tagged: ,

bowie

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1. god bowie and iman are so hot
2. bowie with a gun so hot
3. the heart’s filthy lesson video so hot
4. i can’t find the bowie nazi picture.
5. new delirious layout. so go look. not bowie related, i swear.
6. ha this roseanne episode is the one where they find a box of doll heads in DJs room. that’s so something i would do and leave in an empty building haha.

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

dream

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dreamed i was vangogh. ROCK! and for some reason i dreamed about bono and his oldest daughter.

went to dinner and the mall with leighanne. wanted to turn in my mac empties to get my free thing, but apparently i needed one more empty. so i had to buy another eyeshadow of course. also got red eyeshadow (which is the consistency of lipstick so i might have well just continued using lipstick on my eyes) at hot topic. went through the shit ass weather to jay’s to watch american idol and the ridiculous ice skating with the stars lol. punky remembers me now, which meant i got to read a bedtime story to her haha. i don’t know what to do with kids, it’s stressful.

still sick. bought dayquil but i’m not convinced it worked. i’m getting worse rather than better.

Posted in: Personal

dream

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omg i had a dream i was at a david bowie concert, but it was in the street in front of my parents house. and special guest howard stern showed up to duet on rebel rebel, and they brought me on stage as well. gah so weird.

also dream: don’t remember all of it, but i was in prison for something, and there was someone with me who decided he was going to shoot every single person in prison. OH i remember, it was some sort of version of the movie saw, with a guy who wants people to be thankful for their lives if they survive his torture – which this time was walking down the row of cells, and shooting into each, not aiming, and whoever got shot got shot. we turned a corner and got to a cell with a guy who looked like a gangasta rapper, ice cube reminiscent, and he was holding a huge ass automatic gun. so he starts shooting at us before we can shoot at him, and my partner disappears, so its just me with the gun and we only have a hand gun. he puts a few rounds into my shoulder, and i manage to get a few into his back which doesn’t faze him at all. and then he shoots a few rounds into my leg, and somewhere else, and i get a few more into him. i’m sorta assumed dead, and someone comes to drag me to the hospital or something. but i’m awake and not dead and so i’m walking with them by all these ppl who think i’m dead but i’m not.

and dream: i was coming home to my apartment and the locks had been changed, and my unit and the one next to mine had turned into a jewelry shop. the shop people were still in the process of moving in but all my stuff was gone. so i was fuming and went to the office and demanded that i get my apartment back and that all my stuff be returned exactly as it was, and that i wanted all new appliances. haha

and in other news. not as many people as i thought knew about my trip to the hospital. i am above rumors at that place i guess. also didn’t realize exactly who was helping to get me out of the building before the emt’s caught up. i thought it was just mary, but apparently it was rob and kin and other ppl haha. they’re so nice. they almost got me out too, which would have been way better than forcing me to go to the hospital. apparently i was also totally coherent and knew what was going on, and was responsive, i just don’t remember any of that part.

and i think i have a sinus infection. cuz i’ve never had a cold where i wake up from extreme pain around my eyebrow and side of my nose on the left side. or maybe it’s a cold and i’m just THAT stuffed up by the time morning rolls around.

Posted in: Dreams \ Tagged: ,

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i guess we’re going to make winter trips to the ER an annual event. i spent last night there. i drank too much at the work holiday party: 3 glasses of wine. WTF it was hardly anything. totally forgot about my meds. so chalking it up to a bad reaction with the meds. but anyway. got sick, apparently the emt’s wouldn’t let mary just take me to her house, they made me ambulance it to the hospital. fan fucking tastic. woke up there and my parents were there. apparently tony had been there and stayed a while til my dad convinced him to leave haha. i hadn’t even seen tony at the party. crazy. sucks. i’m sure i’m the new talk of the casino now. we all have our time i guess.

before that, yesterday was good. jerry came over and had a nice time catching up on things. after he left, adr2 and bliss came over. watched, er rather tried to watch, the man who fell to earth with bowie. it was tough haha. very…out there…weird arty makes no sense so we fast forwarded alot of it kind of movie. the best part is when bowie is gonna shoot the girl and she covers her eyes with a banana. but yeah. it was worse than a david lynch film. won’t be one i’ll be seeing again any time soon – though apparently they are making a remake!?!?!?

the party before i was sick was fun. vegas is gonna be great. as long as i stay under 3 drinks 😛

and i’m sick on top of everything. woke up yesteday morning stuffed up and wicked sore throat.

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged: ,

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ran into someone i hadn’t seen in a while. had quite an interesting, and long (over an hr) conversation. hahah.

hopefully will be meeting up with jerry tomorrow somewhere. it’s been long over due. and nin tix onsale at 10.

ADR let me know what times are good for airport pick up. i sent emails to your school account i think. need to book my flight.

Posted in: Personal

horrorscope

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Are you fully aware of how lucky you are? There are some amazing people in your life who have been guiding forces and inspirations on your path. In fact, some of the most difficult ones have taught you the most.

Posted in: Personal