so…a mini vacation recap

wednesday: ran all the errands i neglected to run over the weekend and early part of the week. went by the parents house for dinner, so my dad could transfer the pics he took on my new cam to his computer. headed home after. sanded and spray painted wooden tables in the dark.

thursday: went down town shopping to possibly pick up things to decorate the tables with. work party at the terminal in the evening. picked up james to head out there. did work which included picking up/setting up tables and saws…spent quality time with russell in the terminal while everyone else was out taking apart saws…sat in the terminal by myself in the dark for a half hour. creepy. lol. but my new project is going to be wonderful i decided. thursday night came back to the house and worked on decorating the tables, james finished his nucular painting.

friday: james and i went to this grant information seminar that was mandatory if we wanted to apply for this type of grant to fund the terminal art show…back to the terminal in the evening to help yuri pick up more chairs and stuff for saturday. got fed at the ukranian hall, which has a zhitnik jersey that he signed in…ukrainian. i thought it was pretty cool. and i ate perogies and gwumkie?!?!… mom will be proud. back to the terminal with the chairs, then we left to jasen’s to play poker. i lost first, james lost 2nd. they made me deal of course. haha.

saturday: picnic on the plaza which was less than extraordinary, but i had way fun. it included the below pictures. brian asked for a hot chocolate the size of james’ head, and that’s what he got. him drinking from it never got old. buca’s afterwards as is tradition. had a fun time, i thought. glad brian seemed to enjoy it too, since he was a buca virgin and all, i was worried he might not like it. everyone was too hyper from giant hot chocolates and red wine so we went to jasen’s again and watched Friday. funny ass movie. macaroni!

sunday: back to the terminal again (that’s 4 days in a row i just realized…) to take around a photographer from pittsburg. i had wanted to stay only from 1-3…left at quarter after 5. wasn’t going to go up to the roof, but ended up on the roof. but! i finally got access to the clock floor AND the clock rooms….gaaaah. i call that floor for my apartment when we turn the building into lofts. and when we were on the roof we saw a group of punk ass kids on the roof of the baggage building, so james went on down to crack some skulls…lol. headed home shortly after that. then work. which was boring. except for the black guy with the black white sox cap walking around who i thought was dr dre each time i saw him.

i had a really nice 4 days off. had a great time spending time with the people that i got to spend time with. it was really lovely.

flooring tomorrow, dealing tuesday, 10-6 dealing friday, 9-5 flooring saturday, flooring sunday. and no 4-midnight shifts BLAH. i was really hoping for some. tomorrow is sleeping in finally, and depending on what time i get up, going to pick up photos from color tech. i hate driving all the way out there.

1. the strangest things depress me. things that should make me happy…or should not make me feel anything either way, depress me at times. i will explain no further
2. we have a massive fruit fly problem in the house
3. i sent my first accidental text message today, good thing it wasn’t complaining about the person i sent it to, like when tom started world war 3 with dana by mistakingly sending her a txt msg meant for me about her
4. work was so boring, i had to find stuff to do to kill 3 hours before they’d let me leave
5. i have the next 4 days off
6. i want a theramin. it’s a musical instrument and they cost 400$.
7. i really just want to play with a theramin, i don’t need to own it, cuz really, why would i need a theramin?
8. i forget the other things i was gonna say in this entry…
9. oh yeah…u2’s new album is called “how to dismantle an atomic bomb” interesting…i’m still weary. i so don’t want it to suck.
10. i heard a song on the radio yesterday by a band called jakalope. and i thought it was really really good. girl singer, sorta electrodustrial. it was cool. i thought “i need to find out more about this band, see what other songs they have”….later i find out trent produced it…lol they have a really annoying website though. album is released soon apparently

ug. i’ve been home alone all weekend cuz lei went home and took the dog with her (thankfully hehe). i haven’t done much of anything and kept putting off driving out to color tech to get some prints of my dad’s terminal photos. i kept telling myself i’d get out of bed before 3 tomorrow and go do it. and i wouldn’t. so i was really going to get out of bed before 3 today and go do it. except for the fact that i thought i was dying all night. it started at work but it was tolerable, then i woke up with horrible pain in my abdoment at 7am and couldn’t sleep because it was so bad. i was considering going to the ER, but instead i called my mom hehe. i figured…if she tells me to go to the ER i will, but if she thinks it’s something more along the lines of heartburn i won’t. she didn’t seem to think that it was hospital worthy, but said if i thought it was, she’d come pick me up and take me to the hospital. she figured it was some sort of indigestion (well, after she got over the fact that it was NOT my heart…the pain was nowhere near my heart, and after thinking i had a heart attack last year at work i know the difference between heart pain and other pain). the pain was so bad that i drove to wilson farms all scummified and in my pjs at 7:30 to buy something to take, cuz it was not going away on it’s own, and i couldn’t handle it. the stuff didn’t work fast enough but eventually it did and i got to sleep. and slept til 3 of course. so much for color tech today…

but when i got out of bed 20 min ago, mom had emailed me in a panic thinking that i had appendicitis and that i should go to the hospital haha. it went away as i said, and in reading the symptoms she sent me, i didn’t have them. i had looked it up too on webmd before i called her, and if anything i thought it was my gall bladder or spleen. but it doesnt matter anymore, cuz as i said 2 times now, it went away.

i’m scared to eat or anything tho, i don’t want it to come back. i’m not sure if i’d get written up if i was to call in tonight or not…give myself a 5 day break from work haha.

 

more proof that “the autobiography of vivian” is about me LOL. i can’t go a page without reading something that was pulled out of my brain

“then i started thinking, when was he going to call? what if he didn’t call me soon enough and i wanted to call him? yuck! this is why i hate relationships, why i hate being “in like”! it feels like one big settlement when you can’t act or say or do or call, for that matter, when you want to! i was just fine before i met him. having john on my brain just sucked. consistently overanalytical and never allowing a good moment to be just that, i thought long and hard about why my satisfaction had earned a “dis” just moments after he left. was i needy? immature? did i like him more than he liked me? hi i’m vivian and i’m a freak!”

lol

and tony got promoted at work again! he’s full floor now, congrats to him. he deserves it

i think one phrase pretty much sums up the night: bum shelves

and in other news. new info about the new u2 album. apparently they are covering a song by the german band kraftwerk. you dont even know how much more hope this brings that the album might actually be good!! fantastic even!! and i don’t even LIKE kraftwerk! just the fact that they’re covering a before-their-time forefather of electro-techno music band, who’s music is at the opposite end of the spectrum from u2…mind blowing really. maybe we’re not getting another “all that you can’t leave behind” oh the possibilities!!!

I think i had mentioned to most people, that my aunt trudy was hired by NBC to drive around important people in Athens during the olympics. trudy is one of the most facinating people you will ever meet. i wish i could be like her, and do the things she’s done, and that whole thing…

but anyway….if anyone is interested in reading her experience at the olympics, continue…

Hi Walt, hi Laura, hi Sara.

Hi all – long time, no hear, no access to computer. Just got back the other day and must now clear up tons of stuff on the computer along with other piled up jobs. But what I really want to do is lay back for a while.

Did you watch much of the Olympics? Thought you might want an update on my time there so here goes.

My experience at the Olympics was interesting from many perspectives. It was of course, fun to be a part of it all especially since it all went so well surprising everybody, foreigners and Greeks alike. Just minor glitches like a few busses arriving late in the beginning and the head of NBC security whom I was driving around once told me nothing of import had occurred. It was overkill all the way across – too many security people, too many volunteers, too many drivers (never had a job where I was paid to watch TV). They left absolutely nothing to
chance. I could not believe that the metro came every two-three minutes, the special events busses every two minutes and they were mostly empty, a sign all got to their venues on time. Took only 20 minutes to let everyone in for the opening ceremony which was fantastic. I watched the fireworks from a balcony of a friend who was just across from the stadium. Incredibly the Greeks honored (for the most part) the Olympic fast lanes reserved for Olympic traffic and it was weird to see a lane without a car for several kilometers in the middle of Athens – no doubt the drivers squeezed into the other two lanes were cursing under their breath. When the Olympics are finished end of September they will use those lanes only for cars with more than one person in them.
I went to only two events to get the feel of the whole place – it was fabulous, specially at night. Once I went to a tennis match and on the next court was playing a Greek female player who had courageously defeated her opponent the day before despite having obtained a serious leg injury falling down twice and screaming in pain several times. You would have thought there was a football match on the way the spectators roared every time she made a point as if a goal had been made for Greece. This match, despite all that psychological support, she lost to a Russian, however. The Greeks did incredibly well in the medals department – the best for countries that size. It was great to see them win with all that enthousiastic support.
Athens was unbelievably clean, efficiently run, dispersing information everywhere (new maps etc.), festive, music and performances on every street corner, beautifully lit up specially the Acropolis and Thission temple. I took advantage of the fact that my accreditation card allowed me free entrance to all the museums, galleries, archeological sites, and special exhibits and I visited everything after work, even one trip to Epidavros for an ancient tragedy performed in an ancient amphitheatre – just the bus trip there was fantastic. I usually take advantage of all opportunities that present. I even talked Kiriakos into coming to see the new Athens for a couple of days as we had both become disenchanted with that city.
It was also good for me personally, as I learned a lot. I am totally confident now about driving around Athens, even on the highways. It was great for my ego to be the oldest female hired – we had mostly young folks just finished or finishing their degrees. Sadly, most of these fine young folks will be looking for jobs shortly. It was nice to be accepted by them as well. I had some stress in the beginning trying to learn the new and difficult routes – stressed because the training was totally inadequate to the point that after a week I had to speak to
the higher supervisor and tell her I would like to support her in her task but because I was getting no proper training I would be unable to. She corrected it right away. The Greeks, too, were having difficulty but refused to speak up even telling me to go talk to our American Supervisor, so because I did speak up I had some difficulty from the immediate Supervisor, a British gal. But that was also a learning experience, that is the way I am looking at all challenges. Met some interesting people, both fellow drivers and passengers. Dan Hicks, a sports newscaster at NBC, head of security, couple of producers, a three times gold winner athlete in the field of archery, to name a few. And I made a few bucks, too. All in all, it was a positive experience.

What did you think of the Olympics? Wasn’t the opening ceremony great? But I think the Chinese will put on a real extravaganza – enjoyed their part in the closing ceremony. We got a pretty good salary for Greece from NBC – no tips, just doing our job.

I’m at the crossroads right now in my life wanting to do something constructive but balancing it with time for myself. That’s even tougher with less money these days. Many thoughts float through my head. Example, I was at the Goulandris Natural History Museum recently and I had a thought – all these wonderful things to look at but the small little village schools on the islands have no chance to see them. I thought maybe I should get together a traveling, very small museum in my Motorhome and entertain/educate the children along with my animal awareness program all around the islands. Would take a lot of organizing but I am used to that. We shall see. My immediate goal, however, has to be simplifying my life, getting rid of all kinds of things I don’t need anymore. I must remember KISS – keep it simple, stupid.

*edit* THIS IS ABSOULTELY NOT ABOUT ANY OF YOU READING*/edit*

i finished reading the fannie flagg book “standing in the rainbow”….it was good, cute, a very “her” book, but not as good as “daisy fay” or “fried green tomatoes”.

leighanne said i had to read a salinger book next, but it was not readily available when i realized i needed something to read before bed the other night. so i started this book called “the autobiography of vivian.” it’s about a college grad who moves to nyc on a whim.

this is a book that i would have written. it’s funny because in the prologue, she says you’ll feel like you’re reading about yourself. and i swear this book is about me LOL. if i thought i was interesting enough to warrant having an autobiography, this is what i’d write….it’s like my blog, but more interesting, complete with comments in parenthesis in the middle of a sentence, and quotes from 80s movies….

and then the scary part…

it’s also complete with the abusive relationship, and thus continuing relationship issues part. for those of you who might not know this about me, i was in a sort of abusive relationship in high school. it was never physically abusive, but it was quite a bit emotionally abusive in that “it’s all your fault, you are useless, no one will ever love you, sort of way.” and this book kind of hit me, because it really made me wonder if i am really scarred as deeply as i suddenly realized i may be….she’s on a job interview and is looking in the mirror and suddenly hears her ex’s voice telling her that she’s worthless, and just a piece of ass, and no one will ever love her or respect her.

and while i can’t say that i consciously think about “psycho” and definitely do not hear him telling me that no one will ever love me like he did, and that when i’m with some guy who hits me i’ll think of him and how good he treated me (he did tell me that), i really wonder if there is residue from that relationship that makes me let people walk all over me. i really wonder if he’s the reason why i think that i’ll never find someone who is going to love me, and the reason why i grasp at any straw offered in hope that i will, and that i’ll find happiness somehow. the reason why i let myself be a complete idiot a year ago. the reason why i don’t ever want to rock the boat, and avoid confrontation at all costs. the reason communication and talking and feeling anything is bad. the reason why i can’t stand up for myself and say no, i deserve better than this, no matter what this may be (work, home, life, relationships).

i should just delete this. it’s going to be massively misinterpreted. to clarify, i’m not thinking about any one thing, or event, or person in this rant. i’m not talking about you, or about my life right now. just in general.

regrets, regrets…i still don’t have any. i like to tell myself that everything i’ve done, every choice i’ve made, every thing that’s happened to me has made me who i am today. that my relationship with “psycho” made me stronger. it’s just that i suddenly realized that i’m not. i used to think that being with him made me realize what it is that i want, and what i don’t want, and what i won’t tolerate, and how i deserve to be treated. but then i realized that i don’t act that way, and i don’t demand respect, and i let myself be taken advantage of.

it’s just that all i want is to be happy. i’m a good person, i’ve been a good person all my life, i’ve never done anything wrong/bad. i think i deserve to be happy.

and what song do i have in my head right now? “i knew you were waiting for me” – george michael and aretha franklin….

i really should delete this.

part of me wants to run into psycho and tell him i’m a lesbian (a different, but amusing story), the other part of me wants to just prove him wrong. but i know if/when i see him again i’ll just want to throw up (like that last time i saw him with his 2 kids…gah that could have been me!). i was thrilled to no end when nate and i ran into his mother (who hated me, yet called out to me when we saw her) at the mall before nate left. i got to be smug and think, hi i’m really happy and i have a great life not to mention this incredibly hot boyfriend, and all you have is your white trash psychotic abusive son with his wife and 2 kids. ha it’s funny, cuz after we walked away i asked nate if i looked good, i wanted to make sure she went home to tell him i looked hot and had a hot boyfriend. ha.

but vivian is the coolest…she ran into bono in an elevator at vh1 and she invented a word i must find a way into my everyday vocabulary: tanorexic

 

 

now that it’s back to school time, of course, it gets hot every day…i’m so looking forward to cool weather. because as you know, fall brings along with it, the return of the coat fetish. it’s in full force already. i bought a new coat at target yesterday without even looking at the price tag (which i found out later, was more than i really wanted to pay)…my defense is that it’s almost exactly what i have been looking for, for the past 3 years….red leather jacket. yay. it’s fantastic and i can’t wait for it to get cold so i can wear it someplace. i’m going to try to limit myself to buying only that one coat this season…i hope i can manage! hehe