you know who is really perfect looking…. shirley manson from Garbage….(they’re on tv right now lol) Garbage is opening for U2 in hamilton….last night joe is like, what are you gonna do if u go to hamilton and don’t get tickets… well what else? drive back home LOL

speaking of last night…got my surprise from rick…he got me a shirt signed by vaclav varada from the sabres carnival. this is extraordinary for a few reasons.
1. rick is an asshole and selfish… not like him to think of anyone besides himself LOL
2. he hates varada
3. don’t understand why he got *ME* something…if it was meant to be some kind of truce/peace offering, it makes no sense, since i wasn’t the one who ever got into fights with him about hockey

i cannot type “peace” without first typing “peach”…

yeah i want to be shirley manson LOL….i bet Garbage will be 13465633 times better than PJ Harvey was….

but anyway, yeah… went to joe’s last night. there were like 8 of us smooshed in his bedroom watching tv all night. watched the mole, then mr bean, then dumb and dumber. and i had to hug rick….:P….i also got the pic of me and rick from the tea party show, gonna scan that and put it up later….

(vh1 is retarded…they need to get their facts straight… ive been watching for a half hour and theres already 2 mistakes…mistake #1…Michael Jackson (bono on tv ahhh need to go to that show!) made a movie called Ghosts…vh1 is going to be playing it on october 27th for the first time on tv… but they called it his NEW movie ghosts…. ok, yeah, it’s like 4-5 years old now..hardly new…. #2…premiering a video from a NEW band… nickleback… nickleback is NOT new….)

anyway, got home from joe’s at like 12:45…didnt fall asleep until 4…sucky pillows on my bed here at home…but i had somemore wack dreams, so gonna have to go type them up now… parents and aunt&uncle left so i’m home alone… am supposed to go to mcds and visit before 2 but i dunno if that’s gonna happen…doing laundry since i have no clothes clean LOL

 

why are behind the music, and e! true hollywood story type shows so addicting?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? that is my question! i’ll sit and watch a behind the music about someone i hate/never heard of/just don’t care about and be completely fascinated. i watched half of bon jovi’s, half of john mellencamp, half of woodstock (already have seen it 3 times tho haha)…then i changed the channel and watched most of true hollywood story about Dirty Dancing!!!! I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!! Now there is one on about river phoenix…i want to watch. can’t let myself. they’re doing a top 10 countdown of the best true hollywood stories… THAT MEANS THEYRE REALLY GOOD… i wanna watch!!!

ok… my friends know about my continuing neurological difficulties. i just want to say my neurologist is a retard, because i totally had this, and he was like oh ur fine
“A transient ischemic attack (TIA) is just like a stroke, except that it lasts only a few minutes. It occurs when the blood supply to part of the brain is briefly interrupted. TIA symptoms, which usually occur suddenly, are similar to those of stroke but do not last as long. Most symptoms of a TIA disappear within an hour, although they may persist for up to 24 hours. Symptoms can include: numbness or weakness in the face, arm, or leg, especially on one side of the body; confusion or difficulty in talking or understanding speech; trouble seeing in one or both eyes; and difficulty with walking, dizziness, or loss of balance and coordination.”

from ninds.nih.gov or something… but yeah, every symptom listed there, i had…

we have no hot water. isn’t that nice? i called emergency maintenece at 8 am…it’s 10…they haven’t come yet. or if they did, they haven’t fixed anything, because we still have no hot water. no one took a shower today, needless to say. it’s probably just the pilot light or something… well actually it’s kinda weird, because the water gets warm… and now i’m talking slightly above freezing point warm, not like, ok this is useable kind of warm. and it’ll get this slightly warm temperature for a few seconds, and then goes cold. almost like there is a big hole somewhere, spurting out all our hot water, instead of sending it to the sink. some of the hot water gets through, the rest is flooding something somewhere. like maybe our storage room. i should go look at that (we have a nice huge wheel valve in our storage room on this huge pipe…don’t know what it’s for, i’m assuming water.)

rt.. bono sounds stuffed up in this song (do you feel loved?)…like he’s got a bit of a cold lol…and that reminds me

all my mp3s are screwed up. carolyn downloaded do you feel loved live for me the other day, sent it to me, i listened to it, yeah. i decided it was ok, so i kept the mp3. i played it yesterday, and it was only a minute and a half long. what the hell is that?! i swear it was a full mp3 when she sent it to me. if it wasn’t i would have told her it was cut off and to find another one for me. but obviously i didn’t, so it must have been fine. now it’s only half of the song, not even….and i had an mp3 of u2’s WTC telethon performance. i dled it from some site, didn’t listen to it until last night. it stops after “peace on earth”…doesn’t go into “walk on”…the title of the file said it’s the entire thing…but not the mp3 i have. so now i don’t know if something ate half of that mp3 too, or if it was always like that… and i have no viruses that would be chompin on half my mp3s…arg.

ok i’m not supposed to take any naproxin today for my shoulder, cuz i was only supposed to take 2 a day for a week. he gave me 2 weeks worth of pills tho, to take whenever it hurts… so the question is, should i take one today or no?…maybe i’ll just wait awhile. it’s not in pain right now, but my neck is kinda going numb….i’m dying. i swear.

what else was i going to talk about? OH YEAH! this gross old guy talked to me today. he’s in my criminal justice class. he is the perfect picture of a “2 pack a day i’m dying of lung cancer” old man. he’s probably in his 50s, i mean maybe he could be younger and just decrepit from all the cigarettes he’s smoked, i dunno…but he looks older than my parents… face all sunken in, really skinny, grey hair etc. school has been in session for over a month now, we have class twice a week, yet today i walk in and he all happily goes “good morning” to me… well i was totally thrown off. so i’m like all cheery “morning!”…yeah that was weird, he didn’t say a word to anyone else who walked in and sits in our area….then he kinda kept turning around to look at me, and it’s like EW wtf, leave me alone! so then of course, i was paranoid that he was going to follow me after class and talk to me or something, so i booked out of there, and went and checked my mail so if he was following me, i’d lose him. lol. i’m a freak.

 

fyi i have changed my cds again! currently there is NO u2 in my stereo! **shock**….we’ve got tool – lateralus, econoline crush – brand new history and a perfect circle – mer de noms

oh god, katie is playing disturbed, must turn up stereo…damn quiet tool song! louder! louder! *insert beavis and butthead sound byte here*

 

thesabresedge.com does these funny top 10 lists about various things… their current one is how the sabres are going to help fight terrorism.. this is one of the more amusing ones they’ve had, and i found number 7 to be incredibly amusing
Number 7…
Sneaking original Marine Midland Arena maintenance workers into Afghanistan, having them construct giant Jumbotron over Taliban headquarters.

 

ec’s “brand new history” is a total summer flashback cd…it’s strange. lol. ahh memories 😛 and omg “by the riverside” is totally a may/exam week flashback…cuz it was exam week when i did the 3 ec shows in 3 nights, with my personality final exam inbetween, and i couldn’t concentrate on studying AT all…and packing my room up to move back home. omg this is like one of the biggest song flashbacks i’ve ever gotten! lol

1. i’m really tired of our toilet breaking all the time. this is like the 3rd time at least. we’ve been here less than a month. most of the time it just keeps running, because the chain comes unhooked. but this time it wouldn’t flush at all. so i had to rehook the stupid chain. i don’t appreciate having to stick my hand in the toilet…arg.
2. why is it that everytime i come home from my tues/thurs class and want to take a nap, they’re pounding and doing more construction on my house?
3. GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!!!! DECEMBER 4TH DECEMBER 4TH NINE INCH NAILS FRAGILITY TOUR CD AND DVD! FINALLY!!!!!! how long have we been waiting for this?!?!?!? I NEED A DVD PLAYER! (and a vcr since mine is dead)….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

omgomg so excited about the NIN dvd…just watched the trailer! ahhh i can’t wait. it’s been too long since we got new nin stuff. and so what if i dont have a dvd player, i have the fight club dvd, still haven’t watched it LOL. i’ll go to joe’s house, he’s got play station 2. i’ll force him to lemme watch it. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh excited.

 

i’ve decided that i don’t really like band whores…i don’t mean like people who are really sleeping with the band…i could give a shit about what you do with band members…and i know you could say i’m a bit band whore myself, but i’m totally not. band whore, to me, is a person who’s live revolves around bands and shit, with the mistaken notion that they give a rats ass about you. i’m not deluded enough to believe that the econoline guys (for example) care about me in the slightest, no matter how many times i hang out with them…call me a realist :P.

i’m also not talking about anyone in particular here…just in general. i don’t even know what brought this on (ok i lie, i do know what brought this on, but i don’t feel like sharing to the world). there was this girl i met, i forget her name…she’s krista’s friend (krista is eric’s friend)…she was like 14, and every band we talked about she’s like, oh, i know them.. blah blah..no wait, she didn’t say she knew them, she said “i’m FRIENDS with them”…sorry hun but i hardly think any adult band member gives a shit about some little 14 year old that they might have met a few times….she’s not the reason i thought of this, but she’s a prime example. yeah. ima stop now.

 

i also think that i’m over my 1.5-2 year “must see every concert” phase…i mean, i love concerts still, and i still “need” to go to them… but it’s not like it used to be. example…family values tour is coming to buffalo. stone temple pilots are headlining. am i going? no. did i even think about going? no. i just don’t care about it. i don’t want to be on the floor, smooshed with a bunch of 15 year olds, and getting kicked in the head. i also don’t want seats in the back of the friggen arena. i’m so over sacrificing myself for concerts.

of course there are exceptions. i want to see U2 and Tool. still no word on a buffalo Tool date. both of those shows i will pay for, and i will sacrifice myself for U2 (not tool). and of course, there are the givens of NIN, Orgy, APC….and there are a few bands i want to see that I haven’t yet… but other than that, yeah, i’m over it.

 

from a very outdated u2 FAQ….some funny things

7.5.2 However, oddly enough . . . .

MJS

This section is devoted to weird rumors from the usenet and other sources that turn out to have a grain of truth to them.

Q: Is it true that Bono likes to have his chest shaved ?
MJS
Well, Bono has had his chest shaved once that I know of:

Bono has an irregular heartbeat. He had to have an exam for his insurance company. He had too much chest hair for the doctor to be able to hear his heartbeat so they shaved part of it off. I looked up irregular heartbeat – it is caused by stress, anger, smoking, too much caffeine in coffee or tea. It is not fatal and it’s ok to have one.
MJS

Whether or not Bono enjoyed having his chest shaved is unknown at this time.

Q: I heard that Bono stripped in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
MJS

This is true. From Newsday March 27, 1992: At a dinner earlier this week at London’s celebrity haunt, Nikita, Bono surprised his 18 dinner guests by removing all his clothes – including his black bikini briefs – for no apparent reason. During the Russian meal of mainly vodka and caviar, we’re told the Irish rocker sat naked and acted as if being nude in a plush, crowded restaurant was the most natural thing in the world. Which, in some quarters, we suppose it is. “Sometimes people drink vodka and do strange things,” Nikita owner Sylvain Borsi told us. But didn’t he find Bono’s behavior a bit eccentric, to say the least? “No, he was very nice and very civilized,” Borsi said. “I think he just felt more comfortable with nothing on.” But he had a really good reason! From Newsday March 30, 1992 : His spokesman says Bono was actually being interviewed by a journalist during dinner when the Irish rocker decided to undress, as we reported. “The writer was so unimaginative, so frozen, so unloose that Bono thought it would be a good idea to take his clothes off,” the spokesman said. “And there wasn’t much of a reaction.”

happy october! best month of the year!

ok so my shit day is over…slept badly. woke up at 6:55 because of construction noise, and the fact i was paranoid about oversleeping. alarm was at 8:30…fell asleep a bit but kept hearing my housemates getting ready for class. but whatever. i had a dream that my test was postponed, i go to class and there is a big orange class cancellation notice on the door… for my professor!! for a moment i was overjoyed with happiness until i realized it wasn’t for our class. she cancelled her stat’s class, not neuropsych. so we still had our exam. had to answer questions 5 and 6… 5 was the big outline of mamalian brain divisions and structures inside them.. oh, and their functions…and 6 was about the thalamus and hypothalamus which i didn’t bother to study until this morning. the drawing was of a neuron, how easy is that, and the labels were only 9 of however many were there… so that i did fine on. and i looked over my outlines after and i remembered pretty much everything i had studied for my essays… still don’t know if that’s enough info for 35 pts, but i guess we’ll find out.

and i changed my cds today lol…put in u2 bsides which i’ve only ever listened to once, and put in duran duran medazzaland, cuz i got one of the songs in my head during psychopathology today… left in pop, cuz i’m not quite over my obsession with “do you feel loved?” yet… 🙂

hmm what else do i have to say? i’m tired as hell. was gonna skip psychopathology to go nap, but decided to go. i should have skipped cuz all we did was go over friday’s exam (got an 88)…we got our paper assignments too. big deal. i spaced out for the entire class period lol.

i don’t know if i ever mentioned this, but in batavia there were a couple of these big billboards and on them were pictures of jesus that said “behold i am coming” or something. well right after the attacks last month (jesus, it was last month already) i went home on a friday, the billboards were there, and then saturday when i came back, they were gone. they changed them to ads of the corn maze in Mt Morris, and there was a picture of the statue of liberty on the billboard. so i was like, wtf, jesus is gone, and now the statue of liberty is up…wtf does the statue have to do with the corn maze, or is that just some kind of patrotic statement after what happened. LOL wellll i found out today from danielle that the corn maze is in the shape of the statue this year LOL makes sense now. how appropriate 😛

 

i’m really really happy right now, and i feel stupid cuz i’m sitting here by myself laughing…no i’m not going psycho. there actually is a reason i’m so happy (it has nothing to do with u2 😛 so don’t even think it)….

i decided to go read the old IRC foo quotes…good times good times, back in the day. i miss it.. how sad is that? some of the funniest times in my life involved sitting in front of a computer talking to people across the world….well whatever. it was fun, we had some seriously good times on IRC…and meeting all the ppl i met in person etc…robin, sandy, em, mand, lau…various others. yeah we rocked.

 

even tho i’m revelling in sexy bono-ness at the moment…sometimes there are a reason B-sides are B-sides….

 

OMG carolyn has a survey that i filled out on…… JANUARY 28, 1998!!!!!!!!!! ROFLMAO this is too great! lets look at some highlights
(keep in mind, this is when i was a big dork… like i’m not a dork anymore)

SCREEN NAME: My AOLIM name is ImaMJfan98
NICKNAMES: My Awesome Friend Dan calls me Figgy
JOBS: Student, professional McDonalds worker (that hasn’t changed lol)
COOLEST EXPERIENCE: Going to England by myself
SCARIEST THING YOU’VE EVER DONE:Going to England by myself, because my plane had a 15 hr delay in Toronto and I was by myself and Ihad to go to a hotel all by myself and stuff
WHO I WANT TO MARRY: I really HOT brittish man, with a neat accent, and a cool name like Simon, or Alistare lol
FAV Performers/Music groups: Michael Jackson, INXS, The Rolling Stones, Metallica, Cranberries, STP, alternative stuff…I have weird tastes in music
FAV SUBJECT: IN SCHOOL? I HATE SCHOOL its so boring.. fav subject…righ tnow, English, and only because my teacher is SO HOT! AHH, I really hate english
FAV Quote:OH I have lots of fav quote http://www.geocities.com/soho/gallery/4265/ but if I hvae to pick one now, I made it up myself it would be ” I want to hate him so much, yet I wish to be with him” ( gee who would that one be about??) from the date of this survey, i’m going to guess i was talking about scott….

and looking at the recipients of the email, i sent it to my mom’s friend, and my cousin?!?! lol

i’m certainly alot more vague in my responses to surveys now…and alot funnier… even tho this survey was hysterical to read.

also i think i’ve decided that i kept refering to dan as “my awesome friend” because he was helping me out and giving me advice about scott….it’s gotta be that…why else would i call him that LOL he wasn’t that great…

 

i’ve hacked into carolyn’s email account, and i’m going through her “Sara” folder and looking at the emails i sent her that she kept…she has one from panther98@juno.com when i used to sign my emails “Sara 🙂 the self proclaimed Princess of Neverland” ROFL I TOTALLY FORGOT I USED TO DO THAT ROFLMAO!!!!!!

 

 

trent reznor has really great lips…not like i know personally or anything. just commenting. trent’s lips, with jay’s tongue….*drool*

ok really, i’m ok 🙂

 

one more neuropsych question to answer, then straight studying until bedtime…great.

i got another awesome email…this subject line is up there with the “slurp slurp squish squish sex sex” one… “USE YOUR DICK TO PLAY BASEBALL! ” yah hoo!! i always wanted to do that!

 

i’m going to fail

“where the streets have no name” has got to be one of the most hypnotic songs i’ve ever heard.

yah, i just finished my hour break from studying…i spent an hour doing nothing, but once i get back to studying i think of all kinds of things to do…like discuss the hypnotic effects of “streets”….

i was thinking… it’s weird that eric likes orgy’s vapor transmission better than candyass. eric tends to like the loud, no talent droning guitar sound…which is more like candyass than VT. VT is more musical than candyass was, many more different kinds of sounds and melodies…some critics said VT was very drum and bassy (i disagree)…but candyass is just definitely more like everything else eric listens to, yet he doesn’t like it…hmm weird…

yes i am studying 😛 shut up

something else for my wishlist: i want an old phrenology head. find me one. i found one on ebay, buy it for me

and see i AM studying for neuropsych, i’m at the phrenology part. lol

just so everyone knows, no, i am not insane. bono does indeed have 4 kids. just like i thought he did, but no… every damn u2 site i looked at for his bio said he had 3 kids, and that the youngest was around 2….but no, i was right afterall, he DID just have a baby in may, another boy…

yes i’m studying for neuropsych 😛

i take it back…. i do like most of this cd…it’s u2’s Pop… i don’t care for Miami as i stated, i HATE playboy mansion.. its one of the worst songs i’ve ever heard….velvet dress is ok, i don’t realize it’s even playing….Please is ok…wake up dead man is blah…ok so lemme start over. I like the cd songs 1-7…I dont like 8-whatever#…but i like PARTS of songs 8-whatever with the exception of playboy mansion which i just HATE.

something is wrong with me. i want clothes. i want to buy lots of clothes. i want to by clothes that i’d never wear. my clothes wishlist:
1. satin dragon jacket
2. lace up pants
3. the little shirt with fringe and black mini skirt with a black leather trench coat with fishnets and black whore boots like the outfit i tried on at Wet Seal.
4. the red furry jacket at Deb
5. the leather jacket for 400$ at Guess.
6. black dickies

i need to win a makeover and shopping spree.

i liked my hair today. yeah.

ok yeah so me and danielle went to the mall for dinner tonight. We went to eastview mall, which turns out is an hour away. yeah we’ve been there before, and I swear last time we went a different way and got there a hella lot faster. but i used eric’s directions, which were the same as yahoo directions, and it took like an hour. But we at dinner at Jack Astors, shopped for a while. she got the tea party transmission cd for 5 bucks at FYE. then we went to try on clothes at the Britney Spears slut store (aka Wet Seal). They actually had some cute, non slut stuff… ok yeah it’s still sorta slutty, but it was really cute. EVEN I LIKED IT!! I tried on this skirt, it was cream colored, knee length, with black crocheted lace over it. Tried on a medium I think, yeah, it was awful. it looked so bad, it was WAY too small. so then i tried on this little red shirt…it was like um…a tank top, but showed total stomach. it was red, black lace over it, and fringe. I could barely get it on, it was really small. Once it was on tho it fit. And I tried on this little black mini skirt. It was a LARGE and it fit perfectly. I looked cute 😛 I just need the whore boots and long black coat, mentioned above. Then I tried the shirt on with black “leather” pants. they were really cute too, and only 19$… but they were too small. like, i really had to suck my gut in to button them. would have needed a bigger size. BUT I REALLY LOVE THE SHIRT AND IT’S SO NOT ME!! When would I ever wear it? orgy concert probably… or a club, if i’m forced to go again. ahah

and yeah i had my exam today. total wrong answer for the 5 pt essay. it was something about discuss 2 of the 4 protective factors established by Rutter… I was like, who the hell is Rutter?? So i totally bullshitted an answer… i talked about intelligence, and social supports… neither of which were discussed by Rutter (i looked it up in the book)… so that answer is totally wrong. there were 4 multiple choice questions i was unsure of, 1 i totally didnt know, so i guessed. And i bullshited alot of the other 2 essays. whatever. we’ll see how badly i do.

all day yesterday i was like “where is adrienne? why isn’t she online? her net must be broken”… but then i remembered last night, that today was “the big day”… i hope everything went ok….

before i forget, it’s really funny that sometimes in my blogs i speak directly to carolyn (and she speaks directly to me in her blog) when we talk to each other every day for like 4 hours. like her blog has a message to me about how the “you rock my world” video is up in 1 file instead of two on kazaa, but it’s still avi format. like she couldn’t tell me directly LOL.

and now this is my message for carolyn: why were you and your mom discussing the hotness factor of u2 members? LOL does she know the origin of guggi?

well i went to the health center about my shoulder. i guess it’s tendonitis or something. he said there’s a tendon that connects my bicep to my shoulder and then to my neck. and that’s exactly where it hurts, and why my neck and face were numb last night as well as my arm. i don’t know if i believe him totally, because he’s the guy who said my sore throat was due to the fact i was sniffling too much when it turns out i had mono. he gave me naproxin to reduce the inflamation of my tendon. he said it might be due to the scoliosis i had when i was a kid, although it’s ok now, he said my back is still curved a bit, on my left side….and my posture, which i already knew. it gets better when i’m standing, unless i’m standing for a long time (like when i’m shopping)…i was washing lettuce half hour ago and my shoulder felt fine, but then i sat down to eat, and i’m sitting here now and it’s killing me and my face is going numb again.

i’m so tired. i have to study, psychopathology exam tomorrow. my social and personality development exam got changed.. it’s not monday, it might not even be next week… and if it’s not next week, it’s not going to be wednesday because it’s the day after break..so it would be friday… 2 weeks later LOL. so that’s cool. now i just gotta do the exam tomorrow which should be fine, and then fail neuropsych on monday…and write my journal for thursday. AND we’re SUPPOSED to be running subjects through our study next mon-thurs, but we don’t think it’s happening. our advisors haven’t given us the protocols for if people freak out or anything, and i’m sure they haven’t recruited participants yet. we haven’t piloted anything. so all signs are pointing to not running next week. i have to go meet with them to practice at 12:45…so i should probably go and read the script since i haven’t touched it since last friday LOL.

 

ok so i’ve definitely decided i’m anti-war. thought i’d mention that. yep. war – uh – what is it good for? absolutely nothing, say it again.

carolyn’s mom doesn’t know the origin of guggi. lol.

trying to study for my exam tomorrow in psychopathology, not working real well. i dunno if i’ve read any of my notes without simultaneously thinking of something completely different…whether it be singing a song stuck in my head while reading my notes, or day dreaming while reading my notes… they’re not going in my head at all.

yup, not running subjects next week. we’re piloting on tuesday. gotta con my housemates into being piloters…or whatever you call the people who are in the piloting run. dunno when we’re running subjects now, cuz 2 weeks is break so can’t do it then, then it’s cultural harmony week and LOL we can’t really do our study during cultural harmony week LOL it just wouldn’t be right (and i know u don’t understand why I’m LOLing to that, but i can’t tell you. if i told you i’d have to kill you). but then it’s also not gonna be good to do it right after cultural harmony week, so we probably won’t run subjects until november now, and that gives me lots more time to learn my script haha…

 

yeah so i told my mom about my shoulder, and now she thinks i’m having a heart attack and should have an EKG… yet if i had told her about the chest pains i’ve been having for the past 4 weeks, she’d call me a hypochondriac (like she originially did about my shoulder until i told her half my upper body and head was numb)

 

since i’m doing a poor job studying to begin with, thought i might say, our townhouses have the most piece of shit mini blinds i’ve ever seen. they are not right. half the time only one side will go up or down. and then it’ll get stuck up.. and no matter what u do, u cant get them to go down. but remember, only half of it is up…so it’s all tilted and stuck and ARG. and i dunno if it’s supposed to be this way, but the shingles on the roof outside my window are all messed up. they’re different sizes, and some overlap and others are under…and it’s not done symmetrically either, so like every 2 singles theres one on top of the others…it looks stupid.

 

“107” yep all time favourite orgy song

yep i’m studying

 

just realized that my desk lamp says on the inside “caution risk of fire, use 60 watt or smaller type A bulbs”…what kind of bulb do i have in it? 100 watt… yeeeah great.

yes i’m studying.

played with brains today

i really don’t have time to do a site redesign..why do i only get inspired when i have other stuff to do… right, the self handicapping thing…

 

i’m really tired of feeling sick and in pain. i feel like i’m 80 years old. i don’t know if it’s chest pains radiating into my left shoulder, or pains in my left shoulder radiating to my chest…but all i know is that i’m in pain. i think it’s chest…i mean i have constant issues with my shoulder cuz i have bad posture and sit in desks all day long that are extremely uncomfortable…but it’s not usually this bad. my whole arm is numb

maybe it’s just me but it seems that everyone else has such drama in their lives… and then there is me…no drama at all. besides me having no future…that’s not drama. i’m talking, “i have all these problems, my friends have all these problems, my parents have all these problems, problem this, problem that”….that kind of drama. the annoying kind like, “i have all these guys who want me and i don’t know what to do” (*cough* wreatha *cough*)….the interesting kind like…um…well i can’t think of an example. just drama. i won’t go into specifics, but at least 1 friend of mine has alot of drama in her life atm…i’ve never thought of myself as having any drama in my life, although maybe some people might think i have…but since i don’t think i have, i’m not sure if i want drama in my life…although from afar it looks like a good thing..and in movies it seems interesting and a good thing, but in reality…i dunno if it’d be all that good.

yeah ok start laughing now…. i watched half of the britney spears making the video for “ima slave for you”…..ok now i command you to stop laughing. hahaha….ok yeah, go on laughing. britney is such a whore. there is no way she’s not fucking justin timberlake. and is britney TRYING to look like christina agulera in that video? because she does. bill didn’t know if it was britney or christina.. but then we pointed out the terrible voice that sounds like a cat on drugs…or something like that. but yeah, it’s like hello i look like christina agulera because she’s so much better than i am, and i need to bite off her look. and yes i am really sitting here contemplating that…

my u2 obsession is under moderate control today. i think it’s because i had class and things to do besides sit here in front of my computer all day. and danielle put me in my place by saying “arg i totally dont see how you find bono attractive AT all” lol jk..i mean she did say that, but not like in a mean way to “put me in my place” – i just felt like saying that…..but my bono thing is just another one of my weirdo things where it’s not the total outward appearance that i find sexy, it’s a more outward appearance + inward beauty + personal philosophy = hot/sexy kinda thing….(see also “prophetic blasphemies”, for futher explanation of how all the people i find hot, no one else does)..hard to explain unless you have one of these kinds of people “in your life”…. and it’s not like i find bono sexy all the time, just the 5 seconds that he’s singing in the Marvin Gaye cover…lol. i mean there are other times as well (like as Mister Macphisto…..), but it’s the 5 seconds in the video that prompted me saying something out loud about it for the first time…which prompted danielle’s comment LOL. i’m really kinda hyper right now…

i’ve decided i need to start using more apostrophies in my informal writing, like on this blog and emails etc…i use them when i have to do a formal paper, i’m just too lazy when i do informal things…but still not gonna consistently use capital letters, so tough…

i also have had a new phrase the past few days, and i used it in this entry…. “bite off”….”biting off”… etc…i don’t know where the hell it came from. but it’s the first thing i’ve been thinking of when i see something that was “stolen” from something else… like britney is “biting off” christina’s look… and michael jackson in his new video is “biting off” all his old dance routines…i’m a retard. i swear.

i don’t want to do homework, so i’m sure i can think of something else to talk about, make this entry even longer than it already is….i’m having dream issues lately. i have dreams, don’t ever remember them… i remembered the one, because it was way too disturbing to forget, and it’s not going up on the page…lol. sorry.

car is finally getting fixed. only um….15 days late. did i write about what happened earlier? not sure…so going to again anyway. i used my extremely good analytical skills (so says the GRE exam) to figure out that it was my car cd player and not the cd cases eric bought me that were scratching all my cds. so i figure, my car is under warrantee (how do u spell that?) for a year, I’ll go get the cd player fixed before it ruins all my other cds. so i called chevy in geneseo on sept 4th. they didn’t have room for me until thursday the 6th, and i needed the car to go home friday to pack up my stuff for the house. so he said to bring it in the next monday the 10th, and they’ll replace the radio. ok so i do that. he said it would be done tuesday. tuesday NYC blew up, so i sat in front of the tv all day. i went to chevy on wednesday to get my car, and they tell me oh it’s not done. it wasn’t done because the guy ordered the wrong radio. he ordered the radio that came in the car. but apparantly the radio that came in my car, out of the factory, was a tape player….that means that paddock chevy put in the cd player at the dealer after it arrived there. so he had to reorder the correct radio with a cd player. it would be in thursday. so i leave the car there, and i tell him i need they car by friday because i had to go home to take the GRE. thursday, i call, it’s not done. so friday i went up, he gave me my car, but it was still not done. so went home for the weekend, came back, called monday “is my radio in yet” no. so i’m like screw it, they can call me. They called me friday, my radio is in. so i took my car up there today, will be done tomorrow. i could have waited for it today, but i didn’t feel like it, and i made leah go up with me to drive me back anyway so… yeah. car will be done tomorrow, and better not screw up my cds anymore.

i guess i need to find something to do now… where is carolyn when i need her to keep me from doing homework?

i remembered what i wanted to say yesterday…it’s really odd. lately most of the people i’ve talked to at school are having total identity crises. so many people have no idea what they want to do 8 months from now when we all graduate…no idea if they want to go to grad school, and if so, what for. so many people i’ve talked to are rethinking their major, thinking about going into a different field entirely. for example, leah is a speech pathology major…can get her masters from geneseo in another year, and go teach in a school whatever. she wants to be a hair dresser. or a photographer…or webdesign. so she’s trying to combine them into one business where people come, she does their hair, teaches them speech, then takes photographs of them for a webpage LOL. but she doesn’t know if she wants to go on in speech path, or not. other people that are psych majors don’t know if they want to go to grad school, or what for…so it’s really not just me that’s having issues. i wish i knew what i wanted to do.