Category Archives: Personal

work. it was ok for a while, then sucked, then got better. i SHOULD have been the first cut since i was in at 3, but then Kate was sick so they let her go instead. she left around 8. i had to stay til 11. so i was sorta pissed off about that for a while, but it was me and nick, so i managed somehow lol. we had fun, interesting conversations as always. the rest of the night was pretty uneventful. the fire alarm went off because of the fajitas…when some foreigners came in, i asked them if they wanted smoking or non and they said “no we want to eat”. haha. ummm…yeah. i don’t know what else happened. left at 11 like i said, and met adr and danielle at dennys. danielle is off to indiana tomorrow. :(…shes already counting down the days til she comes home haha. that’s pretty bad. we didn’t even do that for geneseo…er well at least not before we even started there haha.

there was some more stuff i wanted to say but….one of them i don’t feel up to talking about, and i don’t remember anything else. eh…i almost cried at work. i had to go outside and get some air, calm myself down…i’ve been trying not to be all emotional about danielle leaving…bunch of reasons why, which is what i don’t want to get in to…but mainly it’s cuz i’m selfish hahaha. eh at least i realize my faults…er that one haha.

oh yeah. i got 2 pieces of semi-good news, which i’m not going to mention because i have yet to do the password thing. going to do it tomorrow.

i’ll probably hit 10,000 tomorrow.

 

password protection is now working. if you want access to these posts CONTACT ME and i’ll give you the info. if you don’t contact me, you don’t get the info. even if you are my friend, don’t expect me to hand it out. ask me. i can only think of 2 people i wouldn’t give it to. strangers are welcome as well (since i know of at least 1 person who i’m not friends with who reads this daily)….

so now for a password post….click (*2015 edit* I wish I knew how to get to that post)

i’m actually up, showered and ready for my day before noon. i was ready by 11. i don’t know why. last night made up for my really good sleep the night before. i only slept about 4 hours last night. i was up in bed til around 3, then mom dropped a dresser drawer at 7, real loud. didn’t really sleep well after that, and got up at 10. tonight is gonna be wack at work. kate said she was already going to call in, then it’s me, donna(named after donna from 90210 since she’s dating david lol) and laurie (who is nuts) up front…david and jack are both bussing. it’s going to be insane. hopefully a good insane. donna is cool. should be a semi good time.

my goal for today is to redesign my dream site. it’s only had one design in 2 years, and it needs to get organized. i also have tons of clique submissions in my inbox i need to go through but i don’t see that happening today.

 

1. the whore house on river road got busted. it’s on the cover of the news paper today hahaha.

2. i redesigned my dream site. it’s not completely finished yet, the categorizing is requiring me to read all my dreams. which is why i’m typing this. some i have absolutely no memory of (like this one)…it struck me as so funny…my dad dropped me when we were flying through the grand canyon and i died. “I went to hell. I was in hell, sitting at a table by some big windows. Across from me was my friend Mary who was talking about Saturday Night Live. I was eating really gross cookies that looked like almonds, but they were giant almonds. Not overly huge, but just bigger than normal almonds. Next to Mary was some bitchy lady, and next to her was Brad Pitt. So I was talking to Mary and we apparantly pissed the bitchy woman off. She asked me, “Do you guys have degrees?” and I said “No, we didn’t get a chance to finish them. We have high school diplomas. But we died before getting our college degrees.” Then I was irritated at her bitchyness, and I asked her “Do you have a degree.” And she said “No.” and I said “Yeah, well it shows.”

haha i put brad pitt in hell. hahaha

went to the erie county fair tonight. it was preview night (doesn’t really start til tomorrow) so it was only 2 bucks. it was worth 2 bucks. saw a few nice mullets, since it was the tractor pull night haha. i don’t get that AT all but whatever. there were a few good moments. one of the game people tried to get me to play one…he showed me how to do it and was like, now you can go. i got a kick out of just saying “no” and walking away. then we were in one of the animal buildings, and there were lots of rabbits. danielle pointed out one that had lots of long fur, and i was like yeah those are the kind they make clothes out of. there was this teenie bopper girl there, who was like *whine* “i used to have an angora sweater”. so i was like, “well that’s what it was before it was your sweater”. haha i thought it was funny. then in one of the exhibition buildings, there was a born again christian table, and i was taking a bunch of their brocheurs. the guy was like, hi how are you tonight. i was like fine, and ran away LOL. i wasn’t about to get sucked in, i just wanted to see what kind of funny things i could find in their pamphlets. but i left them on the table at dennys (on purpose).

i made a decision that i’m going to grow my hair out. this decision will probably last up until my hair bugs me to death cuz it’ll be too long to do anything with, but in that shitty inbetween phase, and i’ll cut it off again.

my friend andy wants me to move to DC with him. he lives in florida right now. funny thing is, if he’s really serious, i’d seriously consider it. i don’t have anything going for me up here. i love DC. i figured out tho that there are some colleges around here who are still accepting applications, so if i hurry up in the next 2 weeks and go back to school i don’t have to pay my loans yet lol.

 

there is this site called In Passing…it’s a collection of overheard conversations that are somehow funny/amusing. well this quote is exactly something me and my friends would say.
“I’m done with this section, you can have it.”
“Any good news in there?”
“It’s just the obituaries.”
“Anyone we hate die?”
–Two elderly men reading newspapers at A Cuppa Tea

ROFL. that’s so us.

i need to get off my ass and start getting stuff done. i work at 3 today. i have to burn a cd of crap for danielle, and drop it off at her house before work incase i don’t get out early enough to do something tonight. i had the weirdest friggen dreams last night, but not coherent enough to type them out. i slept really well since it’s been cooler outside, so it’s been nice. i got up at 11 and actually went back to sleep. i could go back to sleep now but i really need to get shit done.

work was boring. i was in an “Eh” kind of mood most of the day, and the ppl i worked with were less than talkative. so i was as well. it was such a nice day out, i wandered around a bit outside “handing out coupons” to people. that’s in quotations, because i was supposed to be doing that, but very few people walked by me so i probably only handed out about 10.

i work 3 – close tomorrow. no way would i be able to find someone who would switch shifts with me, so if someone doesn’t get off danielle’s phone, i won’t see her again until october. tomorrow shouldn’t be too bad, i work with good people. i’ll be first cut, so maybe if i get out way early i can still go out with them tomorrow night. blah. don’t want to think about it.

realized today that my car is under warantee for 3 years… not 1. i have no idea why i thought it was only 1 year. and that means i have the roadside assistance for 2 more years too…which is good, cuz now i don’t have to re-buy AAA. i should send in for my maps before it expires on the 18th. what do i want maps of?

i have nothing else to say. if we get ahold of danielle tonight, i guess one of the plans is to go to the erie county fair. it starts today, so it’s cheap night. which is good cuz the only money i have is the 5$ i borrowed from my mom this morning incase i had to pay for parking at work. i cannot spend any more money, because when ty and heather come back down monday to do the tourist thing in the falls, i’m going to have to spend tons. i have to pay my credit card and health insurance this week.

spirit airlines is offering free flights on sept 11th. i wonder if they fly out of buffalo… i don’t think they do. but i’d go someplace if it was free lol.

some things i forgot about today. this old guy came up to me and jack and started talking to us about…i’m not sure what. just anything. he had been in the marines and was telling us about traveling. then he whips out his wallet and is like, i’m just going to show you this (me, not jack) and it’s 2 old pictures of him from the marines, one with his uniform on, one shirtless showing off his muscles (and he was built). he showed jack anyway. then he starts talking about vermont somehow with jack, who apparently skis. then the guy is like, you should come up and visit vermont, and you can bring her with you (me). jack is like ok?!? we exchange looks. and the guy asks me if i was married, as if it would be bad for me to go on a ski trip with jack if i was married. so i’m like no, i’m only 22. then he starts saying something to me about not getting any tattoos cuz tattoos are gross, and how he only has one from 1949 when his dad died, he didn’t even have a marines tattoo. me and jack keep looking at eachother like wtf is going on haha it was weird.

so yeah. my current phase in my evolution of emotion is the “eh” stage. i’m at the point where i really don’t care if anything happens between me and nick. there are a few reasons behind it…he’s leaving soon, he’s a big flirt so it’s hard to really tell if he’s interested, it’s just..hmm i dunno. he’s a really great guy, and i wouldn’t be adverse to anything happen. but i’m not going to really actively persue anything…i am at the point where i’d be cool with just being friends and hanging out, and if something happened, well whatever. i think there is potential for me to get down on things if we were to get together, and then have him leave for 2 years. and it’s not like he’d be close by and visitable…i’m pretty content with things at the moment. of course that could change in a snap but for now…i’m ok with this.

working 11:30-6 and leaving from work to toronto. bowie is monday, coming home tuesday. stopping to get heather on my way home tuesday, so she can follow me back to buffalo. she’s gotta pick ty up at the airport tuesday night, so we’re gonna hang out before then, pick him up, maybe get some dinner. then i managed to get next monday off (the 12th) so they can come down and we can do the tourist stuff – maid of the mist, cave of the winds (which i’ve never done)…maybe the balloon if ty wants to. we’ll see. probably go to hard rock – that discount is too good to pass up lol. knowing me i’ll probably blog from carolyn’s. but if not, i’ll be around tuesday night.

i think when i get back i’m going to implement a new feature…i think i’m going to have special password posts sometimes. when i do it, i’ll mention it so that if you are privledged i can set up passwords for people who want them. i’m just really paranoid about people from work finding my site and seeing alot of this lately. ok just one person i’m paranoid about lol.

must go to sleep. very late. must get up early. but.

work was good. it was pretty busy for a while, since it was friday night. and i was wrong and i didn’t have to stay til close, but i pretty much did anyway. i got out a bit after 12, then went to my car and nick’s car to get clothes, then back to work to change, and waited for him to get out. went to the bar, chilled there for a few hours, and home now. it was a good night. more tomorrow when i have time to talk.

amy might call at the ungodly hour of 8 am to wake me up to go to breakfast. she’s in town to see danielle before she goes to indiana, and since i worked tonight, wanted to go for breakfast. i work at 11. i really hope she doesn’t call. lol it’s late. i’m tired. i have to get up at 9:30 as it is….ug. i’m going to be dead at work tomorrow.

and next weeks schedule SUCKS

 

1. totally using fake names for people i work with. they’ll be in italics. so far nick = new kid.

2. last night. last night was eh for most of the night, even tho i was working with nick, manda, and kate who are pretty fun. i felt blah all day thinking about shit, and it seemed like the feeling was more than mutual. nick had said he felt under the weather at preshift, and then manda and kate were irritated from the afternoon. people were being idoits and shit, just annoying. things got better tho. adr and danielle came in, so talked to them for a bit cuz they sat up front. and we all got in better moods so it was cool. like i said last night, i left at 12, but stuck around til nick got out and went to the bar. that’s about it. yeah. i have more to say, sorta, about things, but no time right now.

3. today. it was actually really good today. nick ended up switching shifts with pot smoker (who we’ll call jack). things were good tho. jack actually talks to me now. i was a suggestive selling whore lol. we were told if we suggestive sold the special glasses to every table we sat we could get free retail merchandise when we left. we only had to give them the little pamphlet thing, but i gave them this big long sales pitch lol. “have you guys ever been to the toronto hard rock? well let me tell you, this one is WAY better. and we’re having a contest right now across the nation that whichever hard rock sells the most of these special collectors glasses, they win a big prize. the only two stores that are even close to winning is this store and toronto. the glasses are 2 dollars extra if you buy a drink and you can take it home as a souvenier, or you can by them seperately. you can get any kind of drink you want in them. so let your server know if you’re interested and they’ll hook it up for you. it’d be really great if you could buy a glass or two and help us out in the contest.” haha i’m so great. so i got the blue hoodie sweatshirt we just got in a few weeks ago. i’d probably have ended up buying it so… all good. i had fun. hahah. i don’t know how many glasses we sold but i don’t really care. i swear that for about an hour every table i took to be sat something was wrong. people stole their chairs, they were really 6 not 5, etc etc etc. actually it was only when i sat people in the back room. so i was running around for a while, but it was cool. i guess there was hard rock drama last night at the bar, but i was pretty oblivious. this wasn’t told to me, but jack was talking to someone else about last night (he was at the bar too), he took this girl from work out, and i guess she was basically like “have a nice life” so now he all hates her, and it’s a big thing. i dunno. but it’s sorta funny. i guess. not really. haha i’d be miserable if it happened to me haha.

4. my dad’s latest job idea for me is to work as a car saleswoman for Saturn. because they do things differently and don’t want to hire people with sales backgrounds. a few days ago they wanted me to be a pharmaceutical saleswoman, even tho they told me i’d suck at it a few months ago when i mentioned i was going to look into it. oh, and my dad said i should try to get a job doing airport security because they have a shortage of female workers.

yeah ok starving. all i had to eat since 3pm yesterday was a sandwich at work last night, yogurt and a cinnamon bun this morning. going out to eat with adr now. more later.

soooo yesterday. carolyn and i went to fridays, since she’s been craving it since we were in new orleans. walked around the mall, and blockbuster. killed a whole 2 hrs :P. the rest of the day was spent watching popmart and searching for simpsons wav files. lol. after dinner, got eric and adrienne and did nothing. really drove around aimlessly, ended up walking at the river, and then dennys. we got there before 10pm which hasn’t happened in years, so we got that grand slam special. highlight of the night :P.

today…it’s supposed to be near 90 ug. we’re going to hard rock for lunch with adr, since i get a discount lol. and then……it sucks that there is nothing to do around here.

 

my last day off….went to hard rock 🙂 we ALMOST got rained on. sky got all dark the closer we got to the falls, then it was sprinkling when we were walking from “my parking space” to the restaurant. it rained while we were inside, so at least that was good. i made them do the YMCA so i could laff at everyone working today, and i wouldn’t feel bad for not participating hahaha. adrienne took advantage of my discount and bought the blue hoodie. then we drove around looking for things to waste the rest of the 14 pictures left on my disposable camera so i could finally get it developed (my mom bought it back before my vacations for me). since carolyn is a “tourist” she had an excuse to take pics at my work hehe.

day off today, what did i do. went to hard rock lol. my mom wanted to go get a shirt, so we went down there. day off wednesday, what am i going to do? go to hard rock for lunch with adr and carolyn lol. i’ll try to stay away tomorrow haha.

anyway, it’s so friggen humid. it feels like new orleans did. ug. now i have nothing else to do today. prolly do something later with adr and eric. maybe something with AC. it’s supposed to storm real bad soon. it said, severe storms developing in the afternoon blah blah blah. afternoon is almost over so..

 

i forgot to post this before.

background: in 3rd grade i was picked to be in MPP – Major Progress Program. MPP was a 2 year program for smart kids. it had a different kind of curriculum, supposedly excellerated, etc. we had 2 teachers – Mr Schoell and Mrs Sealover. my parents thought it was a good idea, so i switched elementary schools and was put into the class. halfway through 4th grade Mrs Sealover broke her leg and was out the rest of the year. the first part of 5th grade, she got the strep virus in her leg, and was out for another half a year. She was probably in her 50s when i was in the class. She taught the english/social studies part of the program. Mr Schoell taught the math/science part of the program. I have no idea how old he was…he said he was 200 years old, born on Maypril 25th (or something like that).

a few years ago Mrs Sealover retired because she was getting alzheimers disease. she died a few years ago. she was not that old.

i just found out today that Mr Schoell never retired. he taught MPP until he died. apparently he’s dead. i don’t know when this happened, but my parents found out at the wedding they went to on saturday. my mom told me today. my dad was the one who found out, and you know how men are – never ask the important questions like when and how. he sent birthday cards out to all his students until we turned 16. i saw him at the high school play in 98 believe. so sometime in the last 4 years he died, and i think it was more recently…

it’s strange…so many of my teachers have died. mr schoell (4th & 5th grade), mrs sealover (4th & 5th grade), mr warnike (who i never had, but was in the middle school when he died), mrs benson (7th grade), mrs forton (7th & 9th grade), mr skibinski (never had, but he taught french in high school), mr frank (never had, taught physics in high school), high school principal (forget his name, he never knew who i was anyway), mr guido (9th grade biology)….9…9 teachers of mine have died. 5 from the high school. it’s just bizzare. and of course, those are only the deaths i know about. who knows what happened to mrs dulak, my kindergarten teacher. or mrs malchow…2nd grade…i think my 3rd grade teacher might have died….some of my other middle school teachers might have…

maybe i can find an obit on mr schoell.

 

*2015 edit* Turns out he wasn’t dead at the time of this post, because he actually died years later, and I intended to go to the funeral however I could not wake up in time.

 

also. bill and leah gave me computer speakers from leah’s parents computer, cuz they didn’t want them. i gave them my old hamster cage. LOL not really a fair trade. but omg these speakers rock so hard. altec lansing brand, came with their dell computer. after i figured out why sound only came out of 1 speaker, they sound great. 2 speakers and a subwoofer. now i only wish my cd drive was connected to my sound card so i could play real cds in it. *drools over the possibilities*

 

*blogging alot of nothing today*

i desperately want to go to europe. i want to go travel europe for a month or so. i’d just go by myself too. that’d be fine. get me some maps, find some destinations…just go. go where the wind took me. that’d be so great. i feel as if i really need that. i need to get away from here for a while.

reasons why i’m not going to go to europe:
– no money
– no job to get money
– 500$+ in bills per month starting in november
– no money to pay for the bills, let alone pay for a month long trip in europe.
– no more money in the stock market anymore
– i’d probably lose whatever job i had if i was going to request a month off to go “find myself” in europe.

i feel like getting in my car and just driving. not running away, i think i’m a bit old for that. just leaving and not coming back for a while. julie did that. randomly drove to ARIZONA one night. i wish i had the guts. she lived there for a few months to a year, and then drove back. jackie sorta did that too. she’s been a bohemian for years now. i wonder what she’s up to now, or even where she is. she checks in with the old #mjfans gang every now and then. she visited em in salt lake city last year, and then hopped a train to cali and that’s the last anyone heard from her. my cousin elizabeth went to italy after high school and then didn’t want to come home. her parents flew to italy to drag her back to detroit. i wish i had the guts. damn my sense of responsibility.

 

gaaaaah!! carolyn informed me that there is going to be a Hedwig screening in toronto on august 24th. (day before tool) you get to MEET john cameron mitchell!!!!! and there are performances and stuff. must goooo!!! totally not driving to tool the next day then. hedwig thing is at 9pm, i’ll have to stay over nite, go home early on sunday. then eric can drive to tool lol. oh i have a dentist appt the 24th too…going to have to request off for work now. before i just said if you schedule me in the morning, i might be late.

i really don’t feel like posting anything, but i guess i will. storms woke me up this morning, but once again they weren’t really storms. it was 5 min of rain, and 4 cracks of thunder. there was some during the night too. the thunder was odd, cuz it was really long, and made the ground shake.

bill and leah came up around 3. bill wanted to go look at drums so we went to guitar center before going to danielle’s. guitar center still has the big picture of ryan and amir up in the voyer hehe. fooled around there for a bit, and then went to danielle’s. had food, hung out, played pool the usual. we were going to go to hard rock cuz people wanted to buy merchandise and i get half off but we were waiting for eric to show up. then as soon as he did bill and leah left to go back to geneseo. so then it was just more playing pool and bitching about shit haha. that’s all we ever do – complain about stuff.

and now i’m home. wow. what the hell am i going to do for 3 more days off…

haha simple things amuse me. woke up for the 5th time this morning with MJ’s “butterflies” in my head. hahaha. that’s funny. i think only carolyn will find that amusing.

one reason i hate closing is because my day is a complete waste. i don’t have the motivation to do anything from the time i wake up til the time i have to go to work. i just end up sitting here with my pajamas on until 2 or 3 when i decide to shower and get ready for work. and then i have all this time to do nothing until i actually leave for work, which is why i left so early yesterday. so it’s a complete waste of my day.

my parents went to our neighbors wedding today. so they were up doing stuff at 8 – like vaccuming. which is one reason i woke up. then the crow outside my window…my neighbors harley…etc.

 

ok it was a random bad mj song day today… cuz at work i got his “whatever happens” in my head. and it was a major u2 day again today. i watched the beginning of popmart and then half of zootv before work. then they played u2 at least 3 times at work today. and each time i was like, grinning and laffing to myself thinking about recent convos with fishy. they prolly thought i was insane.

work was ok. not as fun as recent shifts, because i worked with “eh” people (one being work-boy haha). it was a bit busy, we were waiting most of the night. i got there early again, 2:30, and got a break, left at 9:30. so that’s 3 closing shifts that i didn’t actually stay til close 🙂 yay me. so now 4 days off.

it is so friggen gross and sticky out. blah.