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so pissed. i broke my phone already. the front glass shattered at work tonight, somehow. i’m assuming i hit it against the table accidentally. piece of the glass actually fell out and it’s sharp, not just ugly looking. i can’t send it into motorola to fix, because apparently you have to have it registered on your cell contract, and i don’t. and of course no insurance since i bought it on ebay and not from cingular.

so i have to resort to the instructions a friend at work gave me. to scam cingular. going to go buy the phone again tomorrow from cingular, then return it with the broken phone thursday claiming it was broken when i opened the box, and get a refund, keeping the new non broken phone. arg. makes me nervous. he says him and his girlfriend do it all the time. i should have them do it for me hahah.

anyone else have a better idea? if it wasn’t sharp and the glass hadn’t fallen out i’d just keep it cracked…maybe if i actually cut myself with the broken phone cingular will feel bad for me haha.

Posted in: Personal

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whatever happened to sky writers? or airplane banner advertising? as a kid i remember seeing sky writers, usually writing some kind of advertisement. i don’t think i’ve seen one since 1985 haha. i think the last time i saw an airplane with a banner was at a bisons game…which we’re talking about 1988 or so.

work has been totally bizarre lately. one day i get to listen to this girl talk about her girlfriend and their new strap on. then yesterday someone in the lounge on break was practically having phone sex. phill just txted me to say that we now have arcade games in the employee dining rooms…lol wtf! how about you just give us a raise since gas is $3 a gallon. and let us park onsite instead of a mile a way and having to take a bus in to work.

round 2 starts tomorrow. we’re going to game 1, then selling the others. tony is buying game 2, so we’re all set for now.

now that i’ve done it, i’m addicted to climbing. or well…obsessing about it. i want to go climb it again right now. or well give concrete central a try. the photos from sunday are more of a “look what we did” thing than an art thing. it seemed the “up non stairs” areas were not photographing correctly to convey how pretty it was up there…

 

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return of the geese alarms

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guess what i did today? the unthinkable. i climbed cargill with adr2. we didn’t quite intend to do so but…there we were, on the top top roof, dancing to year zero. and filming stupid videos on our phones. haha. we found THE most perfect spot for the art show…but of course, cargill has no stairs so that’s a bit of a problem if you want people to SEE the show. but yeah. totally have a new fav urbex spot. haha 2 of them at cargill.

and the return of the geese alarms. ok cargill stunk really bad. and the first thought we had was, we’re gonna find a body. we didn’t, but it smelled very bad. climbing through the marine stacks, and through the building, then back…on the way back what happens, but adr2 almost runs into a goose again. it started hissing at her and she started running. just like at great northern. omg so funny. we both swear that the goose wasn’t there protecting her nest the first time we walked by there. but there it was, and it’s mate was in the water below and we were just waiting for it to fly up in our faces.

but anyway. somehow climbing the stack came up, and she gave it a shot, up one flight, said it was easy so i tried. and then we were at the levels where there are stairs again. then the floor at the very top of the storage bins. so pretty and peaceful. great view. then up more sort of stairs and rusty ladders etc etc. and i found the perfect piece of wood on one of the roofs for an idea i had for the show. score! there was a scary moment that wasn’t so scary though…adr2 went onto the small roof, or well tried, a bunch of concrete crumbled to the ground below, scared the shit out of me. hahah. the roof was fine though, the concrete came off of the window. 🙂

great adventure, great view of the city. finally did it, never thought i would. legs are wobbly now, and my hands hurt from hanging onto rusted railings for dear life. or should i say they are now ex-foliated haha. hooray for tetanus shot

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

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seriously u2….what the fuck are you doing? it’s things like that, that make me not like you anymore. atlantic city casino and 40 shows a year, that was cool. spider man musical, not cool.

i got accosted by a guy at work tonight that recognized me from myspace…yikes. hes like, you like nin and are a photographer. yikes. i just looked through all my friends though and i can’t find him. oh cuz he isn’t just “in my extended network” he’s in my real network, my friends list…haha. he asked if year zero was good, cuz apparently he’s a nin fan too – though he thought the last album was the fragile. he was drunk though so, i’ll let that slide. haha. anyway. weird.

i was going to go to cargill tomorrow but now i think i’ll wait til sunday, i dont work until 10 sunday.

bring on round 2. 4 wins down 12 more to go. awriuads ryan miller is so scary though. always falls apart in the 3rd…

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just missed it…london sex museum

the best part of this short article is the last line…drink/eat up

nice day yesterday with adr2 scouting locations for the resistance art show. i think we have settled on a location and date, July 28th. SO YOU ARTISTS OUT THERE WE NEED YOU! she waited at the terminal for me during the board meeting, then got dinner. we’ve agreed to do something every week, to get ourselves out of the house and like..be sorta active haha. it was a nice day, and today is even nicer, 70 degrees!!! finally, not too hot, not snowing. maybe i can put the down filled coat away for good now.

anyone know a good website for cell phone goodies – free/cheap. i used to use 3gupload.com which is something totally else now, grrr. i just want a few games now that i have a nice good phone that things actually work on. waiting to get the usb cord i bought on ebay so i can transfer stuff from the comp. i got the new fire red razr, comes with an mp3 player, i’m dying to upload year zero to it haha i gotta figure out what kind of extra memory this phone takes. it was on ebay cheap cuz it has no back and it didn’t come with a manual so i’ve been looking up how it works on motorolas site. ppl are like, ew why doesn’t it have a back. um. cuz it was cheap, and i bought the back for 7$ and saved 150$ 😛

i tried to make myself a coconut iced coffee like dunkin donuts, and yeah it wasn’t good. grr. i finally mailed all the stuff i was supposed to cuz i woke up before 4 today.

yeah i’ve got nothing to say. game 5 tonight, we can rid ourselves of the islanders with a win. pittsburg and atlanta are out, i don’t know who we play WHEN we win round 1…apparently the rangers, unless tampa beats nj, then we play tampa…so i guess we’ll have to kick ottawa’s ass in the 3rd round 😉

Posted in: Personal

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part of the year zero ARG is openresistance.net which advertised a meeting last week or 2 weeks ago, and fans who went got these neat looking kits, some with cell phones…

from ninhotline: “Remember how last week a bunch of people in LA got AIR kits with cell phones from some dudes in a van somewhere? Well, these lucky fans got calls on their phones telling them to show up at a certain location last night, and what began as an AIR meeting led to a secret Nine Inch Nails performance that was prematurely ended by the local SWAT team. You can watch video of the meeting on OSR.net and you can read more about the events here on ETS. Make sure you digg the story, too. And, NO FAIR WHAT ABOUT THE EAST COAST WAAAAAAH. ”

so fucking cool. so jealous. LOL

and only somewhat related http://www.myspace.com/renegadeartshow pass it on

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During one of the concerts in Europe I made the decision that come my doctors appointment in August I was going to ask to be weened off my prescriptions. Don’t ask why this revelation came in the middle of a NIN show cuz I don’t really feel like saying. But the decision was made. I think they served me quite well, I didn’t kill myself, I stopped crying all the time. For those who’ve never been depressed and have never been on antidepressants – they’re not happy pills. You don’t wake up with a new personality, and suddenly you’re all happy and bubbly and obnoxious. Or even optimistic. I don’t think my behavior or personality changed at all with the drugs, somehow they just made me not think/obsess about some of the things affecting my depression. I was my same pessimistic cynical self – I just didn’t want to die anymore. And that’s good. And August will be almost 2 years on them, and I’ve decided that it’s time to try to do without, and to end the side effects that go along with the benefits. The major side effect is that I really don’t feel anything at all. No, I take that back. I don’t feel stupid happy, I don’t feel sad, I don’t feel anything about anything, I don’t have alot of interest in things – but it’s a different sort than the lack of interest you have when suffering from depression – I don’t feel affection, in most cases (though not lately) I lack sympathy. The one thing that I can still really feel is irritated and annoyed – absolutely no patience. Which is no different than me off drugs haha. More or less I have a cold black heart (or is it grey? 😉 haha) And that is only slightly different than when i’m not on drugs haha. Maybe on the drugs my heart is black, and off the drugs it’s grey. Ok I’ve worn out that reference now haha. Anyway, it’s very hard to explain, everything is still there but just on mute, taken down a few notches, and I am now at the point where I don’t think I’m experiencing things in the same way, or in the best way, that I was before. And so I’m going to try it. And maybe I go suicidal, and then I’ll take them again forever. Or maybe I don’t, and maybe I’ve adjusted now and can go on for awhile on my own (though actually, I quite doubt that).

That leaves another question though. I actually am on 2 different anti-depressants, the 2nd to treat my headaches. Do I try to stop that one as well? I tried to, tried to ween myself off of them…3 summers ago, in the “james bullshit era”…and was completely off of them for about a month and a half. I couldn’t take it. And not because of headaches – because I don’t think my body ever came out of the withdrawl, maybe I didn’t go long enough, but I felt physically terrible constantly. And I stopped sleeping. I couldn’t fall asleep, when I did I woke up every hour on the hour, and when I did sleep had alot of dreams where I woke myself up from trying to move, or because I thought I was falling out of bed. One thing I did realize is how much more vivid my dreams are when I’m not on the drugs. I had forgotten that, since most people still think I have insanely detailed dreams now. You don’t even know how muted they are in comparison now haha. I started taking them again and have been since, and I stopped feeling run over, and I slept again. So I don’t know what to do there, but one at a time I guess.

Something else today that reminded me of this, is this boy X at work who tells me and everyone else that he loves me. I guess he had told someone else about it, and that person took it upon himself to let me know that boy X really respects me and is a good guy and that I should give boy X a chance. And even in a perfect situation where he didn’t have a kid and wasn’t forcing himself to be with babymomma in order to be a good dad – I just have no interest. I should, boy X is great, but I just don’t. And I think half of that – not all, just half – is because of the way I feel on the drugs. Even once off the drugs I’ll have no interest in relationships but it would be for different reasons.

Ha mentioning pessimism just reminded me of driving with adr2 to watertown on our way to the cancelled NIN show in ottawa and our discussion of a pessmist club after seeing an adopt-a-highway sign sponsored by a local optimists club. hahahah omg it was so funny. had to be there, not gonna explain it. hahah that is all. i should try to sleep now seeing as its six am, but i am not tired thanks to sleeping until 4 the last few days. blah

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

year zero

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year zero = love. I don’t know why I get scared about new NIN releases because Trent never fails us. Even having heard it at the pre-show listening party in London, I couldn’t decide if I liked it or not. I don’t like it, I love it. It really is an incredible album, nothing at all like With Teeth, or even like any old NIN stuff. There are elements of Downward, and elements of the Fragile, but still completely different. I can’t pick out a single weak song on the album – and even the best albums, like Achtung Baby which I think is one of the best recordings of all time, has weak songs. But with the exception of 3 seconds on the album, which I’ll get to later, it’s absolutely fantastic. It’s really an album that you have to listen to all at once to really appreciate. When I gave in and listened to Survivalism and My Violent Heart on myspace I didn’t really like them. But on the album, as part of the whole package, they’re great. And be sure to call the phone number on the back.

1. Hyperpower – instrumental, Josh on drums. Energizing, good intro.
2. The Beginning of the End – great song despite it sounding like My Sharona 🙂 Having heard it live helps to get into the song.
3. Survivalism – When I listened on myspace I thought it was ok, but overall wasn’t super impressed. Seeing it live made it totally awesome. “lost our faith along the way and found ourselves believing your lies” incredible lyric.
4. The Good Soldier – Alex and I had been scared that this song was about christianity and Trent finding god. It’s not. It’s about (the) war, and belief in the war cause. Includes a xylophone. ha!
5. Vessel – at this point, my favourite song on the album. I can’t really explain why, or really even describe the song. Loud and seemingly disorganized. Planned chaos. Fantastic.
6. Me, I’m Not – love. Kinda chill, still NIN.
7. Capital G – very catchy, definite single potential. Features Trent’s new found love of singing staccato.
8. My Violent Heart – wasn’t sure I liked the song when I first heard it on myspace, but in the context of the whole album it’s great. Also, gotta love Trent just speaking the words. *hot*
9. The Warning – apparently I have nothing to say about this song ha.
10. God Given – along with Vessel, favourite song on the album. Very, very dancable. You can picture it being played in clubs. It sort of sounds like a Danny Lohner remix, it has that kind of timbaland type groove to it. I swear the blurry picture with the lyrics in the booklet is Michael Jackson.
11. Meet Your Master – I can’t help but think of “master of puppets”, because there just aren’t many words that rhyme with master ha. Doesn’t sound like metallica in the slightest bit tho. Could have single potential too. I can imagine hearing it on the radio – you know, if i ever listened to the radio.
12. The Greater Good – reminiscent of the fragile.
13. The Great Destroyer – massive massive problem with the song. It goes along quite well and continues quite well except for the…horrifying…let’s call it “epic vocal flourish” of the last line of the song. God it makes me cringe. It is just so not nine inch nails, and it’s so not trent reznor. It’s…bad 80s metal. Leighanne used to turn the volume down at the beginning of Bowie’s “cat people” because she hated the way he sang “with gasoline” but I completely understand now. That last “the great destroyer” is just so awful. It is the only flaw on Year Zero. Or maybe I’m just missing something – like that it conveys a certain meaning to the song and album. But…no. just. no.
14. Another Version of the Truth – piano! it still exists! An instrumental very reminiscent of the fragile, and “a warm place”. very nice. A calm after the storm or nuclear winter. Whichever you prefer.
15. In This Twilight – a very noisy pretty song. Strangely optimistic. Makes you wonder what comes after year zero. Both literally as in the next album, and as the next part to unfold in the “world of year zero”.
16. Zero-sum – Background piano and spoken word very reminiscent of “the downward spiral”. Really really gorgeous song. The lyrics are just beautiful and really “make” the song. Gah. My reaction right now came as a complete surprise, after reading the lyrics along with the song. Very impressed with it suddenly.

One one hand you can hear the Saul Williams influence on the album – the spoken word, the “hip hop” groove – but on the other hand, the spoken words parts are very reminiscent of The Downward Spiral as well. It doesn’t say alot about who actually played instruments, other than Josh on drums, but the album seems to reflect Aaron’s manic sort of guitar playing.

Just…go buy it!

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yz

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alright this is pretty cool, and i had forgotten reading about it. year zero cd is black. until you play it and it heats up, take it out, and it’s not black anymore. grey/white with black text…binary which is surely part of the ARG. will do a CD review tomorrow or something…haha hyperpower should be hypercolor 😛

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