i had a dream i had a baby  and that i was with my baby (a boy) at olive garden, where nelly, my brother, was supposed to come pick us up. but instead of picking us up, he stole my car (a white eclipse) with my son in it (cuz apparently my son wasn’t with me, he was at home). he was supposed to be taking my son to court, because my son had been riding his bike without a helmet, and gotten a ticket. there was some kind of accident, causing him to be late picking me up, and i was super pissed, and i slapped him really hard and took my baby back.

wtf.

and i’ve been forgetting to mention. my vacation is march 22-28th. that’s nice and conveniently NOT DURING ANYONES SPRING BREAKS…super. and it’s not during nevada test site tour. gah. suckage. oh well. i gotta put in bids for week 2 now, i think i’m gonna try for halloween.

gotta get off my ass and do stuff like laundry and errands. dunno when we’re going out tonight. tony said he wouldn’t call til at least 7, and dunno what the plans were with “the boy”..he’s supposed to call when he gets out of class, and if he needs a nap first.

god is trying to save me today.
1. i was woken up at 9:30am by god’s cold callers. wanted to talk to me about reading the bible. they actually were cool tho, cuz they realized they woke me up and left me alone. not sure if they were jehovah witnesses or other. gave me a nice little brocheur, and are going to come back. yay. nothing beats the one my parents picked up for me a few months ago – with the illustrations about the man going to hell. it was fantastic. i wish i knew where it was.
2. i got mail from the scientologists again. they’ve been sending me mail for about 5 years now. that’s not really…god..trying to save me, it’s a bunch of wackos but…along the same lines.

i swear i get the weirdest mail. i don’t know how i get on lists like that. the newest one i got a big kick out of. over the weekend i got a big mailing from the Phillips Club. a special invitation to check out membership opportunities at the phillips club in NYC. the phillips club is a big apartment complex for super rich people, in Lincolin Square. it’s “manhattan’s only private, menber-owned residence club.” it’s an “ideal alternative for those who frequently visit NYC and desire the ultimate Manhattan lifestyle.” i thought hey, someone thinks i’m high class and important. the preview weekend packages are 280$ a night. to buy an…”apartment” or whatever in this building… a junior suite is 122,000$ and while i can no way afford that, that’s cheaper than real estate in toronto and chicago. well at least cheaper than toronto (my aunt paid 40,000 for her tiny apartment in chicago). toronto apartments are advertised at like 299,000$ (which always amazes me)…the three bedroom…”apartment”…is 343,000$. i wonder if bono would be my neighbor.

it just made me laugh, cuz seriously, how do people get my name to send me this stuff.

so the fundraiser. headed out early to stop at doug’s pottery show. bought something for my mom, and leighanne picked up a few things as well. talked to doug’s mom who has various connections to people with connections to bob. she gave me a few names for info about the buildings for the book. hopefully something goes well with that. i invited both of them to the terminal whenever they want to photograph the building.

got to the fundraiser and picked out a table. people started coming en masse around quarter to 2. alot of people showed up especially in the beginning (cuz everyone thought “tours” meant actually guided tours through the entire building including the tower, not just russell talking about the building etc). talked to alot of people, people asked tons of questions. i must have answered “what happened to the buffalo?” 243 times today. so many people told me they had seen my work on the internet. thanks to the person i’m sleeping with at google who puts my site in the top 5 hits for various searches LOL. one guy said, yeah i printed these. i was like what? he said he remembers them because he printed them all at color tech for me. he remembers everything i’ve brought in, even my fathers. he was telling me how he specially prints them for me because he knows how i want them to look (in particular the ones of the glass windows, he makes sure to get true black in them). i thought he looked familiar, and it turns out he runs the college street gallery (who sells all the concert photos, and i’ve spoken to him before). he said he’s planning 2004 events and wants to do a “then and now” exhibit on the terminal, so he’s going to get in contact with me at some point. then the person who designed the picnic in the plaza poster wants to use some of my fathers photos as prototypes for the 75th anniversary graphics they’ve started working on – focusing more on the architectural points inside, rather than the outside of the building which is on everything. so that was cool. then the slow food buffalo person ran after me outside on the plaza to ask me about my web design. then the guy from the railroad association, who was fixing the roof door when we were there wednesday, started asking me about setting something up to sell some of the photos in the RRA’s possession. good networking day for me. hopefully some things pan out. leighanne started a memory book. people wrote various memories of the terminal in it. we got about 6 handwritten pages with little stories i’m going to put on the website. including brendan’s stupid story about going to catch a train there and a giant rat went walking by them as they waited. that one’s not going on the site. haha. met the person who owns/runs the .com terminal site. he admitted to not updating it in like 2 years haha. i said i noticed. rofl.

the casino attendance was…4. the guy whos name i dont remember showed, kevin showed as expected, and brendan came. the whole time we’re like, where the hell is tony, i don’t want to have to kick his ass when he doesn’t show. he showed reaaaally late. as he put it, he had a lame excuse, flat tire. but he showed and that was cool. of course mom and missy came, but tom who said he was definitely coming i didn’t see, and aunt darleen didn’t come. that’s ok. i was more than occupied the entire time.

kevin said “i hate the hair” ROFL. that was expected. i think brendan and tony were too shocked to say anything til i asked if they liked my orange hair, and they said yes (they lie i’m sure). haha when kevin said he hated my hair, i was like, i don’t care. he’s like i realize that, but i still hate it. hahah.

so after the fundraiser, we went to buca di beppos for dinner. brian and james were wusses and didn’t come with us.  and for the record JASEN GOES EXPLORING WITH US AND HE’S REALLY SUPER COOL AND SHOULD COME WITH US MORE OFTEN. JASEN ROCKS!

came home, “unpacked”, watched hedwig so leighanne could experience the hed, and then watched an inxs concert from colorado. i used to watch this tape every day in 12th grade. i’d wake up in the middle of the night and flip it on. i forgot how friggen amazing it was, and how ungodly no-man-should-be-that-sexy michael hutchence is/was. he’s a definite 20 on my 1-10 michael hutchence hotness scale. gah. it was funny, cuz we were acting like such teenie boppers watching it. it was fabulous. love love love inxs. i’d keep getting in the mood to throw in an inxs cd, but keep forgetting. i got my fill tonight.

leighanne is getting up at 4:30 to leave for home, and i’ll be the gracious host and get up at 4:30 as well. the way i see it, i’d just be getting home from work on a normal day. so no problem.

i think that’s all. took most of my color roll for class, just of candids of people and the crowd at the fundraiser. informal portraits were one of the things we were supposed to do on this assignment. the other ones i pretty much forgot. oh well. i took some pics in the restaurant too. i’ll take those in tomorrow probably. and dye my hair back to normal tomorrow too. hopefully in time to be able to dye it for a 3rd time if it looks completely fucked cuz of the bleach job on thursday. i sorta like my orange hair tho. i feel very punk rock with it. haha. i figure if the red looks really abnormal i can just erase it all with some black and be done with it. hahah black covers everything.

this is a reminder for myself, so ignore it
blurry self portraits
buy macro filters
thirteenth step series
corn maze

 

another funny leighanne moment i forgot about:

*in the car waiting for adr to come back with choco syrup, listening to u2*
leighanne: there’s this new band who did a cover of mysterious ways. i heard it the other day
sara: with the girls singing the chorus?
leighanne: yeah
sara: yeah, yesterday, i played it for you. it’s kmfdm

LOL

 

my hair is fabulously red again. i’m just hoping i didn’t miss any spots, and have bright orange chunks in the back haha. so that’s 3 hair changes in 3 days. i’m surprised i don’t have bald spots haha

i really don’t want to go to work. i’ve been working on the terminal site all afternoon. i’ve completely changed the set up, so anyone who i showed the preview too, it’s totally different now. and i think it’s going to end up being really nice. i’ve got jerry mac testing it for me, and i resolution tested it in 800/600 and 1024/786…it’s still designed for 800 but looks fine in the higher rez. glad about that, cuz i didn’t want to have to do 2 designs, one for each major rez like i was going to have to do for the first layout idea. hopefully i can make it as comprehensive as i want it to be. i’m currently working on the FAQ since i answered tons and tons of the same questions yesterday. everytime i think i’ve included everything i want to include, i think of something else that i need to add into the menu – which means i have to redo the menu every time. but i seriously think i got it all now. the only real hold up now is getting the information i need from russell – in particular what they’ve done since they took over the building, and russell’s future schemes for the building – he has some entertaining ones that i won’t include, but some of the more serious ones i think need to be on the site. people kept asking me, and i didn’t know what to tell them. my memorex answer was “it all depends on money. they need to fix the roofs, and then they can figure out what the building can be used for”

i’m so tempted to sign the list to get out early tonight, but i can’t. bad enough i’m going to have 3 shitty checks in a row. ug ug ug.

my mouth tastes like asphalt.

today was a highly productive day. leighanne made our networking calls and we headed out to buffalo for the day. met with our contact at bob to get a cd from her. possibly got myself in an incredible project that i can’t talk about. the first rule of the project is you do not talk about the project. but i’ll say it’s totally amazing and i’ll die if i really get to do it. we asked if the building would be in open doors niagara this year, no. too much work to be done in the stabilization process, and too unsafe to let people in currently. i asked about a time table for the stabilization to be complete, they don’t know cuz apparently the state dormitory commission is in charge of it (not the current hospital) and didn’t get all the money they were supposed to get.

from there headed to the buffalo science museum to meet with…um..someone there. a curator maybe. not sure his title. but we went to see the original stuffed buffalo from central terminal in storage at the museum. very cool. while i’m not doubting that it is THE stuffed buffalo…stories kind of conflict. the way russell explains it, the buffalo was going bald from people stealing hairs off it. the buffalo we saw was very hairy still. definitely no bald spots on the side we could see. but then leighanne took some pictures, and the flash shows lighter spots on the hide, where if people were going to touch it for good luck, it might wear out. it was dark in the room so maybe we just couldn’t tell it was going bald. hah. either way, it was cool.

from there, went to the buffalo library to go through their archives about the terminal. some cool stuff there, definitely not enough time to really get through it all. wrote down some contacts because apparently 2 films were possibly made about/at the terminal. one is apparently a documentary about the terminal, the other one a film shot completely at the terminal (which could be the one russell sometimes referrs to). going to try to contact these people to get copies or whatnot. also the library had internet print outs of sites related to the terminal (including ninj’s journal reports on infiltration). one mentioned the site i had found once last year, that was AMAZING (i thought it was the official terminal site), but had since disappeared. well it hasn’t disappeared. i found it today. which actually sorta depresses me, because it’s such an incredible site that i’m not sure i can top that for the official site. but i’ll try not to think about that. i’m glad i know now i’m not insane, and i didn’t imagine finding that site. it did/does exist, just with a changed URL (tho i’m not sure in all my searches for central terminal, it didn’t show up recently).

doing last minute things for tomorrow. not dying my hair. it’s just gonna stay orange for at least another day. my mom actually didn’t freak, she said it was cute. hahah.

 

leighanne: “she’s too calm to be standing at the foot of sex”
**
sara: “bill clinton jokes are so 4 years ago”
leighanne” *spits out water*

coming after the break, update on the fundraiser

leighanne is driving up tomorrow afternoon, to avoid the storm. yay. i’m so glad.

i’m really tired of being upset all the time. i’m upset about everything. and i’m really just tired of it. and no offense to adr, but i really wish i lived by myself right now. i really don’t want to have to see anyone. i’ve thought about taking a leave of absence from work for a week or so, but i need the money. i’m just so so tired of being upset.

so people who seem to be coming on saturday, from work, are…kevin, tony, robert, brendan claims he is, tho i told him i wasn’t expecting him to show, old tom and his girlfriend. a few others said they would stop by, but i doubt it.

 

i have no hair…again. i took her the picture of how i wanted it, but it didn’t end up looking like that, so i had her cut off more. it’s not as short as it was last summer, but it’s definitely short again. no more curling it every day, but now i’m back to 1001 hair products. or just two. i bought this hair goo, that seriously is goo. and hairspray. gotta fool around with it, since it’s not exactly like it was last time it was short. it’s more like how it was the mullet summer…what was that, summer 2001? yeah. the back is longer than it was when my hair was all short.

it’s going to take some getting used to again. and i know everyone i know, especially those at work who didn’t know me before, are going to hate it and be like “Why the hell did you do that?” they were already asking me that when i said i was cutting it off again, and they said that when i dyed it last month. except doug and kevin. they liked my hair dyed. oh well, cuz i almost care.

did some errands but more to do afterclass, hopefully he won’t decide to keep us longer than an hour today. i gotta clean, take bottles back, clean, etc. and then more destroying my hair with bleach and dye. yay.

 

tower pictures set 1 are up on institutional green. decent shots. no clue when set 2 will get developed.

i got a bunch of ideas for things to do for photog class. since i had photo-ed mer des noms for my first photog class, i think i’m going to try to photog thirteenth step as well – but doing something a bit different with them when i actually print them. i just need to figure out what i want to photo for each song. i have a few ideas for some, but others…no clue. i probably won’t do them all like i didn’t do all the songs on mer either. i forgot what my other idea was LOL. it’ll come back to me.

leighanne should be here somewhat soon. mom is arguing no way will she be here in 6 hours like yahoo said, she insists it takes 10 hours. mom is full of crap. it might be more than 6, but it’s definitely not 10.

eric stopped by to fix adr’s comp. it’s fixed. listened to thirteenth step. he agreed it definitely doesn’t sound like mer, but that it’s a good thing. as i put it, it’s definitely more atmospheric and ethereal. this one song, “the stranger” it sounds like maynard says “Move away you fuck tomatos” but it’s really “move away you fucking tornado” hahah.

 

leighanne is here.

my hair is orange.

 

 

i just had a big accident with my bottle of febreeze…it opened and fell and covered my wall and washstand with febreeze. it reeks in here now. super.

i had a fabulous day at work. remember months ago when i said i had a great day as a pit clerk, cuz of a certain someone playing at the table next to me all night. well same thing tonight, except i actually dealt to this person. but it’s a different person from last time…but same…genre…of person hehe. got switched to do blackjack relief in pit 3 and yeah…totally didn’t realize it til this person said something to me and i looked up. and i was just like… it made the 5 hours on carribbean stud at the beginning of my shift worth while. (it was maxim afinogenov)

getting bowie tickets for leighanne and i. going with the 64$ tix…still 300 level, but best lower level tix available are end of the arena.. and i hate that. and those are 87$ too. so i think the 300 level will be fine. i’m not really sure how the only tix available are the ones coming up, when the show isn’t even onsale to the public yet. maybe only certain sections are available for bowienetters…oh well.

gotta get up at 11 to go to my drs to get my stupid note, and then go out to the terminal with brian. should sleep now i guess.

today was a prime example of why i need to constantly carry a camera with me. i stepped out the back door to go to work and was facing 2 perfect rainbows. i ran inside to grab adr’s digi cam and take some pics….since i had just gotten my color roll developed for class. then i go to work, and get to the parking lot. rainbows are still there, but from where i’m standing it looks like one of them is coming out of the chemical factory bordering our lot. it was too perfect. and me with no camera. grrrr. that will probably never again happen in my life.

this whole thing with kevin being in love with me is getting too stressful. i dont even know what to say anymore. today i was told my name stands for “sweet adorable radiant angel”…what do i say to that? i laugh and say thanks. ug. i don’t take compliments well, so stop. haha

i’m so tired. haven’t been sleeping well at all. class tomorrow. i’m debating getting up early to go to the damn drs again, but no way am i getting up before noon, and my dr only works til noon the rest of the week (hense the reason i went today)…spectacular.

 

david bowie. toronto. december 12th. i’m so there.

 

class was an hour again, so i had time to go get my film back from saturday. scanned those in, turned out pretty decent. have a few images i’d show on saturday if i had time to print them etc. oh well. stopped at michaels to buy some mattes, and hot topic where i gave in and bought the ltd ed “weak and powerless” 7″…it’s got a remix of the song by danny lohner, so now i need to find a record player again. bah haha.

on the way home i saw a virginia liscence plate that said Creed U2…creed no way deserves to be put next to u2, and u2 doesn’t deserve to be insulted like that.

the hurricane weakened. there is a possibility that leighanne will still make it up for the fundraiser. she might drive up thursday night, or if all things go well she might still be able to fly in. cross your fingers.

carolyn – please let me know if you want bowie tickets or not, so i can buy them tomorrow (hopefully) and if you want them, what price you want…the 47$ or 87$ one. i’m assuming you don’t want to go, so if i don’t hear from you, i won’t get you a ticket.

i’ve made a decision. i’m cutting my hair off again. my hair is lame, and it just hangs there limp and flat, and it sucks. and i’m going to get bleach and bleach big streaks in it thursday, then dye it all red again friday…so hopefully i get 2 colors of red when it’s all done. maybe i can get it cut thursday. i don’t care what i said about wanting to grow my hair out long again. it’s not gonna happen. cuz it looks like crap.

of course that will all change again tomorrow.

 

gaaaaaaaaaah fucking weather!!!!!!!! leighannes trip in is possibly in jeopardy cuz of the damn hurricane projected to hit her house. gaaaaaaaah. we’ve been smote again. and in the winter when she plans on coming up, it’s gonna be one huge ass blizzard and we’ll be smote another time.

but in other news. the hurricane season weakens the buildings in asbury, so yay for that. haha

ug. seriously. damn weather.

and i’m not cutting my hair off. but still bleaching and i still need it cut, so i will still shoot for thursday. gotta call about that.

 

i’m going to kill someone.

i’ve been calling my neurologist for 2 weeks now to get a stupid fucking “permission slip” for a new prescription. not a prescription from her, just her permission. i called AGAIN today…”we’ll call you back” no. it’s been 2 weeks. so i went down there, and sat in the office for almost 2 hours for them to tell me, she’s not gonna have time to write it today cuz she needs to look over your charts. bullshit. she told me 2 weeks ago that it was ok, verbally, i just need it in writing, it’ll take 30 seconds. “ok hang on a min”….*dr leaves to do hospital rounds*…WHAT THE FUCK. secretary, who is a giant bitch, tells me she’ll call me, so i don’t have to wait around. i say, CAN IT BE SOON, ITS BEEN TWO WEEKS. she says yes.

so i go to tops and take my pictures of produce, take them to rite aid to get them developed, spend an hour there and spent 35$ somehow (but i stole a picture of a haircut from a magazine, so it evens out), and i come home to a note from adr next to my comp.

“dr has yoru note – can pick up with her before 5 or at switch board after 5”!!!!!!!!! FUCKING ASSHOLES! i bet they wrote it 5 minutes after i fucking left.

i really felt like killing someone until 5 minutes ago when i got the mail and i got my APC cd a day early  good thing for small favors.

i thought it was the…things…i got for carolyn for her birthday, but i haven’t gotten them yet. so i’m wondering if i didn’t say i wanted them shipped right to her…the company is ususally really good, fast shipping, and its been like…2 weeks at least now.

 

thirteeth step at first listen…

it’s sorta weird. it’s definitely different from mer des noms, but that’s not a bad thing. the only thing that makes it sound like the same band, imo, is the guitar. it’s got a different feel, a different vibe if you will. in a way it sounds more produced than the first one. there are some strange vocal effects, layering etc, which for a perfect circle…sounds weird.

it’s good. but weird. and will have to grow on me a bit i think. it’s hard to have to follow such a great debut album.

highlights so far:
blue
the outsider
pet
the noose

new design, very obviously. i’m not sure i’m happy with it, but oh well. it’ll do for now.

got my film done at kmart. kmart sucks, just so you know. but i spent 25$ there. bought a new wallet, some makeup, pringles, and my film. i wanted to try a pair of boots on, since i’ll need them for the winter, and the urbex road trip but apparently kmart doesn’t sell socks. i had sandals on, and i wanted socks to try the boots on, but no, no socks to be found anywhere. wtf. so needless to say, didnt try the boots on. but i might go back this week and try them on. they were fashionable enough, and should still be functional. and i definitely need a new coat for the road trip. november…it’s gonna be getting chilly. damn guess and them being out of stock.

talked to leah just now. i miss her. she told me some super huge big news. but the news didn’t surprise me.

i think i’m going to attempt to cook some bacon, and pancakes…if i dont post anymore, it’s cuz i burned the building down and i’m dead.

ew…for some reason the carpet in the hallway is wet…seriously. no reason. the ceilings not leaking, and i’ve been the only one here all day and i know i didnt spill anything…wtf.

crying in the cafeteria is not the best way to start a shift. esp when it’s in front of 4 men. had the pleasure of getting super emotional talking to tom, with rocco doug and what’s his name at the table too. that was so much fun. thank god i have waterproof mascara. doug caught me when we left the bus just now, asked how i was feeling, and that he gave me his card so if i needed to talk i could call him. yeah. i don’t talk. don’t people realize this by now.

things people should realize by now:
i am never happy
i don’t smile
i always look lonely
i hate to cry

and i think i need to start reminding people that i have a tank and an arsenal at my disposal, so no one should fuck with me….

but otherwise work was fine. no it wasn’t fine. got moved to roulette which was good. made my first huge giant mistake on the game. marked the wrong number and took all the bets. yep that was fun too. had to call survailence, got to have my badge number written down and all that fun stuff.

and i didn’t get friday off. just saturday. 9-5 on friday SUCK. i’m going to beg kevin to see if he’ll switch wednesday for friday with me, cuz he’s the only one in the place who has friday off. and he loves me, so…he should say yes, i think haha.

alot more people than expected were interested in the fundraiser…people who’ve never talked to me saw me carrying around the postcards and asked for them. we’ll see who actually shows up. doug’s having his pottery show the same weekend, so alot of people are going to that, and said they’ll come by the fundraiser too. we’ll see.

 

so i went to the terminal on my 3 hours of sleep. ug. i was so tired. and now for a password post…

came back home slept for 4 more hours. scanned in my pictures from the marine star, but probably won’t put them up anywhere. at least not until i get on the marine star haha…riiiiight. that’s gonna happen. maybe if we tackle that elevator next door, i’ll include the ship in that gallery. took in my 2 rolls from today, and gonna take the color roll to walmart tomorrow. work at 10.

more funny bush bumper stickers
Bush/Cheney ’04: Thanks for not paying attention ****
Bush/Cheney ’04: The economy’s stupid!
Bush/Cheney ’04: This time, elect us!
Bush/Cheney ’04: We’re Gooder!