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this post is rated X. seriously. you have been warned.

this is what i came home to tonight: sex toys in the hallway and the sounds of sex from the apartment across the hall

ok maybe it’s just me being stupid/naive/unimaginative…but…other than the vibrating bullet, wtf do you do with that other stuff. wait. don’t answer that. i don’t think my innocent eyes/mind needs to know.

i just had to scan it. i mean really. WHO LEAVES THAT LAYING AROUND IN THE HALL. there was a shoebox with some of the pieces in it. it looks shoddily made, but that’s just my opinion, and what the fuck do i know about sex toys.

so i put a post it note on it that says “you should be careful what you leave in the hallway :)” and put it back in front of their door.  i’m so funny. i wanna go take a digi pic of it, but i’m afraid that the girlfriend will leave now since i think i came home at the…uh…right…moment. hahaha.

 

i got my macro filter in the mail today. yay toys!!! so hard to focus through tho. autofocus doesn’t know what the hell to do, and i have a hard time seeing out of it. but it’ll be fun to experiment with. yay.

haha as adr said in the comment to this mornings post…looks like the neighboors had good makeup sex last night. i heard someone leave around 5:30…cuz i was awake..cuz i learned not to take my pain killers and go to sleep. 1. they don’t let you sleep (tho they make you tired when you take them) and 2. they make you feel sick…felt so shitty after taking them, couldn’t sleep cuz when i dozed off i’d feel like i was shaking again. sucked. so i went back to bed after my 12:30 alarm went off. so much for doing laundry today.

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without the internet i am nothing.

i pay adelphia 100$ a month for cable and powerlink, i’d really like it to work.

anyway.

yesterday. i don’t even remember what i did all day. oh, more thumbnails. finally done with them all. site still in progress though. work, blackjack. had a good time, had some good tables i was relieving. good supervisors.

tour this morning. ug. it was so fucking cold. roulette tom didnt show up again. whatever. took jerry into the catwalks. it was so much sunnier today than last time, it was lit up alot. much much brighter than last time. almost didn’t need flashlights. the big room that leads to the catwalks still totally freaks me out though. headed back down and hung out in the concourse with brian, james, and bri’s uncle for a while. they went to check out a new …”courtyard” access that jerry and i stumbled upon…a window that used to be sealed up, but no longer is, that gives access to the roof of the restaurant, at the very base of the tower. pretty cool perspective of the tower from there.

it seems i’m a bit famous. ppl come up to me at these things and ask if i’m sara. yes and who are you. this time it was a local photographer, one i had talked to at allentown art fest, cuz he had some great bob pics i asked if we could use in the book. this time he tracked me down, said he emailed me, but i never got it. he has some crowd shots for the fundraiser for the site, and i volunteered to be his tour guide to bct when he goes back for his own private photo session. could be good.

came back home, slept again, and up now. i’m so scared of our heat, since its electric baseboard heat. you turn it on and it smells like fire, the dust burning off. paranoid about actually starting a fire. so i’m freezing. hahah. yay.

was planning on getting some work done, but then the internet came back on, so fuck that haha.

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so today was pretty cool. headed out to pick up jerry and go to horsefeathers. since they were all weird on the phone with leighanne, we tried to be stealth about looking for bct artifacts. there’s a major problem with that…we just haven’t seen enough of what was inside while it was open. there were things that would fit, mainly because they were art deco styled. in particular there were 2 lights we found at the end that stick in my mind as very possibly being from the restaurant. but i still have no idea. on the way out i asked specifically if they had anything from the terminal and she very quickly said no. i think its kinda suspicious but whatever. not like we could afford to get them back anyway. did find one thing however…something i had told leighanne about. i had seen a picture of it at the historical society, and i said i’d die to come across one. it was a souvenier little metal clipboard, that the clip part was an engraving of the terminal, and it had some other decorations on it. they had one. i was like OMG I ACTUALLY FOUND ONE! lol…125$ and in not so good condition. but it’s still so freaking cool. it would be neat to be able to have them remade to sell as fundraising items, but it would probably cost alot to have made again. it’s way rad tho.

after that, went to the spot so i could finally see jerry’s photos. he’s got some good stuff, i asked him to scan a few for the site. it’s funny how i can take so many photos, and brian can take so many photos, and jerry can take so many photos…but we still have different stuff. it’s cool. so hung out there for a while, left to drive back to the college and detoured by the darwin martin house, since i’d never seen it, and the miller mansion that leighanne found for sale on a buffalo real estate site.

headed home and attempted to cook chicken, but not sure i cooked it enough cuz i didn’t feel too well all night at work. they tease me with this 9-5 shift, which for me should be a roulette shift, but then i get stuck on blackjack all night. it sucked.

 

i should go to bed now. probably won’t.

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i didn’t post today (yesterday). hah. i was busy all day… FINALLY got to do prints in the dark room in class. we were just doing contact prints. i had to teach everyone (4 people who had negatives to do contact prints) how to do test strips, because our teacher is so not informative. like my other photog proff, he just assumes we know what he’s talking about. thankfully i do, but that made me teacher for the day. that was ok. and i went ahead and did my own enlargment of one of my photos from the roll i took at forest lawn. now the entire rest of the semester is just doing whatever we want in the dark room. rawk

came home and started work on the new domain. which is now a 2ndary domain, because i bought yet another domain name. i thought of something better. that brings me up to owning 6 (if you count the 2 bct domains) and part owning 2 others. so much work. doing thumbnails by hand, ug. that’s the worst thing ever. i’m so used to auto thumbnails, i haven’t done thumbnails by hand in a few years. it just really sucks. but i have to, to get them the size i want, with outlines, and stuff. ug. taking forever. and using shitty adobe photodeluxe, because unless i’m missing something, photoshop doesn’t have an easy way to get outlines around a photo. i got through most of my stuff. but i got a bunch more to work on. then the site won’t be up for a while still, because i’m doing it more complicated than it needs to be. but that’s ok.

plus i still gotta do bct site stuff. waiting on info from russell…still…so i can officially debut the site (tho it seems i’ve been a retard, and the site was publicly accessible for the past week). oops.

time for bed. out to horsefeathers tomorrow with jerry, then work at 9.

and oh yeah. had a dream the terminal was being turned into apartments, and it was being done by my current landlord. so i had him get us out of our current lease so we could move into the terminal. was at the terminal checking on construction and telesco showed up, i had to hide myself so i didn’t attack him. and there was something about axl rose and fred durst having an orgy at my apartment.

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i had this wicked fucked up dream i was a cult leader. seriously fucked up. but it was so awesome. gonna try to write it up on the dream site (as if i ever do that anymore) when i get back from the dentist.

yeah. going to the dentist. fun wow. i don’t know how to do my insurance with my dentist since he doesn’t take it, and blahblahblah. i better not end up paying extreme amounts of money for this, when i don’t have any money…hate the 1st of the month. damn bills.

 

dentist. 2 cavities. 2 cavities so miniscule it took a laser to detect them. not visible to human eye. still getting fillings…good thing i have insurance, and my dentist does indeed accept that insurance too. good for me.

mom didn’t even blink an eye when i said why i was going to chicago LOL. and SHUSH to those of you who *think* you know what i’m talking about. especially shush if you’re going to the tour sunday.

i was gonna go to the library but i dunno. i didn’t take a shower for the dentist, and i dont feel like taking one now. i wish i looked good in hats, so i could just wear one and disguise my shitty hair today haha.

 

a guy sent me a big email about institutional green paint. it is now featured in the “about” section of the institutional green site.

which reminds me i haven’t put up the pics from tower trip 2 yet…tonight or tomorrow. i wanted to work on my new domain too…

and speaking of working on websites…went to the grand island library, cuz i realized grand island is in erie county, and thus has access to buffalo news archives from 1989. wow is the buff news search engine awful. seriously awful. type in buffalo central terminal, and you get an insane amount of hits. using their advanced search option (which i would hardly call advanced in the slightest) you can put “AND”s into your search terms…and get the same amount of hits. putting it as a phrase in quotes finally gave me a manageable 87 hits. printed 55 pages worth of articles out – 55 pages i was not looking forward to retyping in for the website. thankfully, i whined to adr, who mentioned she used to scan articles all the time…into word… to cut and paste.. WHO KNEW?!?!? went to the parents to use their scanner, scanned them all in, and put them all up on the site.

the site which is now fully functionable…not accessible but functionable. the domains finally transferred, and the .net nameservers went through. the .org domain finally transferred today, so i just changed the nameservers now, and should go through soon…i think the .net changes occured in just a day. so as soon as russell gives me the requested info, i can get the entire site up and launched.

still need to go to central library tho, get some more even older articles for the site. tho i’m hoping the search method is a bit better for the microfice…but i’m pessimistic about that. the news archives will just be a continuous project once the site is launched.

and for the history section, i think i’m just going to plagerize the 2 trains magazine articles, because it’s a way better history than i could ever write. so comprehensive it’s not even funny haha. and i’ve only read 2 pages of the article (while typing it).

one of the biggest most important things i need for the site is TO CONTACT MICHAEL FORNASIERO. Oh Michael Fornasiero, who spent 15,000$ of his own money to film a documentary on central terminal, entitled “At The Buffalo”, in the mid 1990s, please search for your own name on the internet and find my website, and contact me. I’ll say your name a few more times, so it comes up near the top on google… michael fornasiero, michael fornasiero, michael fornasiero. michael fornasiero who i have multiple PO boxes and phone numbers for, but still can’t reach, who isn’t in the erie county phone book, but who at least used to live in clarence…michael fornasiero please contact me.

i’m sorta dreading tackling the gallery too…the way i’m intending to do it is more complicated than it needs to be so i’ve been procrastinating doing it. but whatever. it’ll get done.

gonna go write up my dream now finally

and i got 2 more comments on my metallica sucks post from ages ago haha

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lots of dreams about psych center last night. about casing the joint trying to find ways in. and that my new boyfriend, ‘the boy’, was all about trying to help me find a way in. and tony was around too, wanting to help me in. a few other casino peeps were there too. i kept saying how it was my graceland, but ‘graceland’ wasnt the term i wanted to be using, but i couldn’t think of anything else. so i started saying that it was my mount everest, tho that wasn’t what i wanted to say either.

 

news flash!! IT’S FREAKING COLD OUT! brrrrrrrr  cold and rainy. i really need to get myself a new coat(s). i need a good fall coat. something slightly warmer than my black coat i abducted from my mom, and more stylish than my army coat i just bought. gonna have to do some serious shopping. not like i can afford it given my unseen expenses. but yeah. definitely need some new coats.

and wtf is it with me and old men. yet another old man was telling me i’m beautiful WHAT THE HELL. what, are men in their 40s the only people who can see how much of a great person i am/can be??? are they the only men who think i’m worth anything? why can’t the old man i want to be interested in me, be interested in me? wait. i take that back. he was interested in me, he just had that little girlfriend problem. and he wasn’t that old either haha. but yeah. so what’s that now…4 men twice my age who for some reason think i’m fascinating?

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i got a really incredibly important phone call before i left for work. i almost didn’t answer it. soooo glad i did. a big GIANT huge piece of the current puzzle. soooo friggen excited. i’m a great detective. i just hate using the phone

i got my first vegas invite/hookup. frank is leaving tomorrow to go back to vegas. i asked if he had any advice. he said just to keep doing what i’m doing, i’m one of the best dealers there, esp for only 3 months. to put a year in, and then get out, to look him up in vegas if i go out there. so that’s really cool. too bad i don’t know his last name LOL. will have to try and find him during next years vegas vacation.

and speaking of vacation i put in for my second week…tried for halloween as first choice, then just filled in random weeks in sept, oct, and nov. whatever.

and oh yeah, the alice cooper halloween show sold out the day it went on sale. i’d die if i got to deal to alice cooper. i’d have to make a waynes world comment LOL. we’re not worthy, we’re not worthy, we’re scum, we suck.

haha reminds me of leighannes wayne’s world reference in her email to me hahaha.

i also hit a guy in the teeth with the roulette ball today. yeah. that wasn’t good haha.

blah i’m tired. and hungry. and i went nutso on ebay cuz leighanne showed me civil defense shit so i had to go bid on a bunch of crap. like pamphlets on how to survive nuclear blasts, and etc etc etc. LOVE THAT CRAP! i wish i had more wall space, so i could do an entire section of the apartment in propaganda posters. they clash with my asian theme bedspread…and with the living room decor…our decor i so wack. haha

and i bought myself a new domain name and hosting, to be announced later.

 

everyone who has lived in buffalo for a while, and is somewhat artistic, tells me about horsefeathers….the architectural remnant supply warehouse…that they used to/might have artifacts from the terminal. i know this. i was there ages and ages ago with uncle mark. the thought occurred to me immediately…but…horsefeathers went out of business late last year, early this year, so that does no good. except it didn’t go out of business. wtf. i saw the going out of business signs. but no, it’s still there, and still very much in business. leighanne randomly looked it up and called them. apparently increased demand kept them in business, and they are continuing their liquidation sale…they were real sketchy on the phone with her, so i have to go down and check them out next week. gonna see if mom wants to go, cuz maybe if i find something really cool for my future house she’ll buy it for me . my dad bought 2 leaded glass windows there the time we went ages ago. i don’t remember what uncle mark bought, he wanted to buy the entire place. it wouldn’t surprise me, that he would buy the terminals light fixtures. he was very much in love with art deco, and they would have thrilled him to no end. all i remember about the place is there was a big elevator shaft, and my mom was all paranoid i was going to fall down it.

but anyway. i went and drove by the place today, along with some lengthy detours through delaware park, forrest lawn cemetery, and bob. got a bit lost trying to get to connecticut street…i forgot to bring the map along with me. when i was about to give up and just get back on the 190 and go home i went by hampshire street, and massachucets, and vermont. i’m like CONNECTICUT MUST BE AROUND HERE. there’s a big ass armory on the street. found the armory, but it said i was on columbus street. well it did turn into connecticut street, and i found horsefeathers, and it’s all good.

except for the massive headache i have, no thanks to my asshole neighbors. it’s a good thing i don’t have easy access to my aresnal or my neighbor kid would be dead right now. as if they don’t make enough noise upstairs clomping around all the time, and jumping off furniture so that every picture hanging in my apartment is crooked, and it sounds like they’re going to come through the ceiling. today the boy decided to play tennis off my bedroom wall. the clunk clunk clunk of the ball hitting the bricks outside, right above my friggen head…he’s really lucky i don’t have a gun. i want to strangle that boy. it’s called consideration, look it up in the dictionary.

ug

 

 

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well today i was a tiny bit psychic.

i didn’t mention it before, but i had been thinking about writing to nate. to fill him in on all my dealings with bct, since he was with me the first time i laid eyes on the building. if he’s home for the holidays, i’d really like to take him inside with me. just kinda…close up some more loose ends with him. so there’s psychic incident number one.

incident number two. on the bus to work i was thinking about how i’d like to see john. how he’s never around even if i go in early. i thought it would be really nice to run into him on his way out and my way in. and i did. literally almost ran into him. it was really nice to see him. i miss him. he asked about the fundraiser, and he wants to buy some of my photos. which means alot to me, that he likes them. yeah. i miss him. i know, i already said that. i forget about all of it when i never see him. then i see him, and the way he acts, and how he looks at me, and it’s just…i dunno. gah.

work was fine. jenn didn’t want roulette so i gladly took it. made an awesome tip, cuz a guy put me in the game for 5$ straight up on 17 and i hit it. 175$ into the tip box. haha. nights like that i wish we kept our own tips. every other night when i make 10$ i thank god we share tips haha.

anyway. i’m so tired. there are plans to go to lockport tomorrow, depending on weather. i have so much i need to do…go food shopping for one. post office run. color tech run. clean this place. stop at the parents for nates letter, some spoons, and to feed ziggy. i want to go to the central library, since i didn’t go today. and i need to take a roll of b&w film for tuesday. so lockport would be good for that. ug. guess we’ll see how the weather is in the morning. i don’t know where i’m supposed to meet brian and james anyway.

 

well…the letter from nate wasn’t awful. actually it was pretty nice. things with the girl he was fucking went south. good. but his letter actually was pretty deep. not just more superficial, i’m in africa, it’s hot, don’t wish you were here crap. he went into how he’s forgotten about home, how his memories of it are fuzzy, how he doesn’t recognize his own family in the photos his parents send him. how he doesn’t know what he’s going to do when he leaves in 16 months, stuff like that. seems he’s maturing, which i’m glad. hopefully it’ll put alot of things into perspective for him.

and he did really buy a camel.

so i guess i’ll write back to him later.

brian called at 12:30 but it was pouring here so i nixed going. he was still going to attempt it. did my grocery shopping but still have no food. i don’t buy meat or anything, i buy…crap. but i bought veggies again so. went out to color tech to get my film, gonna work on scanning that now. i forgot what else was on my list to do today, oh well. i’m really tired.

 

i forgot to mention this. there was a photo at the historical society that thrilled me to no end, cuz i’m a big giant dork. we all know my fascination and love of war propaganda posters (i’m still waiting for iraq ones to come out )…there was a picture of the terminal concourse, taken from the buffalo end, towards the clock. at the end, above the ticket counters was a big poster saying that “defense also starts at home”. gaaaaaaaah. i’m almost willing to pay the exorbitant amount that the historical society wants for photo reproductions for that picture. hahah.

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well. today was going well. til i got home and listened to 4 msgs on the answering machine from my hysterical mom who was dying to know what nate wrote in the letter that arrived at my parents house today. i call her back…
mom: OMG GET OVER HERE YOU GOT A LETTER FROM NATE
me: I don’t care
mom: WHY NOT?!
me: why should i?
mom: i’m dying to know what he has to say, and why it took him so long to write to you
me: i got a letter from him last month
mom: oh.

just reminds me of some things tony and i talked about at dennys. makes me very unhappy actually. let’s just say i’m not running over to my parents house to get the letter. my mom better not fucking open it.

the good part of the day was the research and cold calling in buffalo about the terminal. it’s really great to see people get excited when i say i’m with CTRC and we’re doing…*insert activity here*. not talking about this til i get real facts, so don’t ask. if things turn out good, i’d like it to be a nice surprise for russell and the board etc.

went to the historical society library. looked through 2 clippings folders with terminal articles as far back as the 1920s. got a picture of the crack head himself, and how much he loves the terminal etc etc etc. looked through all their archival photos, and omg. i left shaking. it was incredible. the one thing i wish though, is for all this archival stuff to be in the ctrc’s hands…maybe in the future. i’d like to get this stuff all on the site, but that’s not going to happen. oh well.

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tonight was good and bad.

bad. never heard from “the boy”. tony called around 9:30 to tell me what he was doing, so i gave the boy a call and left a msg to meet us up at the casino. never found him. it’s not awful. i’ll just have to give him a hard time at work friday. i still think things are ok with that, and could be good.

bad. tony’s girlfriend got super jealous when she heard my voice on the phone and realized tony wasn’t going out with all guys. continued bad. tony’s roommate brett came with his girlfriend (also a roommate) who is tony’s girlfriend’s sister. continued bad..the boy not showing up left me and tony together, and made things more awkward between him, the sister, and his girlfriend.

good. finally got to talk to tony outside of work. tony and i always have good talks when we go out. as he put it, it’s good to have a friend to talk to (like, other than a girlfriend). i told tony that kevin is in love with me. tony said he knew. that was a bit surprising.

but now he’s gotta smooth things over with his girlfriend, so he’s gonna lie about me having a boyfriend, and blahblahblah, possibly set up a double date just to prove there’s nothing for his girlfriend to be jealous about. apparently she got REAAALLLYY jealous. so yeah. that sucks. and then the gambling sucked. well it was ok. was up and down in pai gow, left the table even, went to another table, lost half of that, and for whatever reason i went and played roulette. went down to 10 bux left, then got myself back up in the plus column significantly. actually left only 5$ up though, but who cares. i didn’t lose lol. then tony and i went to dennys for 3 hours. up entirely too late, esp for my night off, when i have class in…8 hours.

 

i borrowed mike’s erie county library card number to access the online newspaper databases….and holy crap did i find something ultra important to the terminal. let’s just say it has to do with the clock. !!!!!!!!! i was seriously like, oh, my, god. i couldn’t believe it. i need leighanne to call me back damn it.

gonna head down to the buffalo library again tomorrow, cuz they have access to the buffalo news before 96 (only goes back to 96 online). track down more articles for the site. what i found was weird, because there will be an editorial referring to an article on the terminal in a previous issue, but that issue and article doesn’t come up when you search. strange.

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