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nin record out possibly spring, with tour announcement “soon”…it may actually see the light of day afterall!!! i better stop calling in and leaving early, gonna need loads of cash this spring haha.

it was good to see eric and danielle again. went to the diner on military for some dinner, then they left, and lei adr james and i went bowling, which was fabulous. must do it again. they give you socks now!

the project day one went very well, and i have to go back tomorrow afternoon some more. then the pr meeting at 7. probably won’t go home in between but i don’t know what to do to kill time between when the lady kicks me out of her office, and 7. my room is a disaster area that really needs to get under control but no time now tomorrow. oh well.

really tired for some reason.

oh and the cat lost 2 teeth today. one with danielle, then the other one fell out when we were watching tv after bowling. so it has no big teeth on the bottom at the moment haha. still managed to bite me and draw blood tho. vampire kitty.

i finished reading “test pattern” which brian bought for me. one of the main themes is the little girl can see the future in the test pattern on their tv (it’s based in the 50s). it was interesting to see what pop culture moments she saw on the test pattern – lorena bobbit, princess di crash, jfk assassination, moon landing, moonwalking michael jackson, jerry springer show lol. it was an interesting novel. kinda fluff, but it was cute at times, and really poignant about how television changed family life, and quite amusing. next i think i’ll read the book i got about the atomic bomb and american politics.

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u2’s new video is up at, of all places, espn.com . it was aired hacked up during the orange bowl half time show. but you can stream the real version on the site. it’s cute. just a performance vid as they drive around nyc. i’m not sure i’d be able to perform on a moving flat bed…i’d probably fall off and stuff. it’s hard to stand on a moving subway train, let alone perform on a truck…props for that. but bono needs to just accept the fact he is old and losing his hair. i think he may have a weave or something now…just shave it off like the pop days man. he needs to stop still photos of him now tho…just doesn’t look good, but moving images of him, he’s still hot. haha. i was telling this to lei on the phone while on break and chuck and mary were just giving me funny looks haha. i’ve decided to prepare some sort of gift for bono…i know that’s so fan-girl of me, but JC was telling me about when he picked u2 up at the airport last tour (JC was a limo driver), and how someone gave bono this necklace she had made, and he was thrilled to death and showed EVERYONE the whole rest of the day. i realize he probably promptly lost it (cuz he loses everything) but for a few hours, that necklace was the highlight of his day. i made michael jackson a gift when i went to london, wasn’t able to get it to him though. stupid joe yennish getting run over, ruined everything lol.

fab four reunion tomorrow night. the project starts tomorrow, yay.

i’m not broke but you can see the cracks
you can make me perfect again

 

i’ve made the spur of the moment decision to possibly go back to school. which is a sort of weird thing to say i realize, but at this very moment i really want to go back to college and get another degree. now tomorrow, this may change and i’ll continue on in my current life lol. but right now i want to go back and get a degree in history with a museum curation concentration. just looking through the course listing i would want to take almost every class haha. so i’m going to try to find out if i would have to take all those bull shit gen-ed classes all over again, because if so, forget it hahaha.

i need to find something to eat so my headache doesn’t get any worse before everyone shows up.

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i dreamed of rainbows. a triple rainbow to be exact. only where the rainbows ended at the ground, they didn’t end, but became swirly as if they were made of ribbons. i kept trying to take pictures of the rare triple ribbon looking rainbow but things kept being in the way. a factory was in the way. then the backs of other people’s heads.

(Whatever the action may have been, if the main feature of your dream was a rainbow, it predicts the end of all your troubles followed by great happiness.) (If you dreamed of a busy factory, you will succeed after a hard struggle.)

i dreamed of a fence with large holes cut into it. door sized holes in places, more jagged but window shapped holes in others.

(An obstacle dream signifying difficulties ahead the interpretation depends on the results of the dream action.) (and to observe holes made by others indicates easier times ahead.) …..tho i was thinking more like DEfences, personal walls, holes in my defenses, defenses falling down….

a week or so ago i dreamed of psycho katie. it was a bit frightening really.

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happy new year.

it didn’t turn out as horrible as it started. for one, it wasn’t as busy as last year since the party wasn’t on the balcony, but across the street at the convention center. the party was moved to the casino for midnight tho, so it got a bit more crowded for a while. died out pretty quickly after 2.

leighanne brian and james showed up shortly after midnight which was really nice. gesture is much appreciated. brian had to leave, but lei and james came back for when i went on break at 1:30. so that was really nice.

the casino had a bunch of power failures tho, so things were weird. right before midnight the power went out upstairs, then the power was out for a few hours in the bar – so they couldn’t serve any drinks and the band couldn’t play. poker room lost power as well for a while, but the main floor didn’t. that’s a shame really, it would have been fun haha. i wonder how much money they lost not being able to sell drinks while the bar power was out.

came home to cake and james and a nice bed for my sleepy self. i managed not to cry at work, although it was sort of tough at first. tony took my section and let me go home at 5:30 even though he was pretty much leaving right away to drive to RI. nice boy. also much appreciated. i had a hectic section but at least i had good dealers who i didn’t have to watch like a hawk when they got big action.

have to go to a 3 hour union meeting on monday. er rather, anti union meeting. the casino decided that since if there ever is a union vote, and dual-rates aren’t allowed to vote, they’d give us the “training” they gave the rest of casino management. should be…interesting.

still don’t know what to do with my computer. dad said he’d look at it, but didn’t lean more one way or the other as far as just replacing parts or buying a new system. blah.

AND happy new year from trent reznor, who posted on nin.com that the new album is finished, the band is rehearsing, and that he can’t wait for everyone to hear it on the cd and live. happy new year to me. gonna have to quit my job for all these tours…

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today was not fabulous. remembered that i had stumbled upon a stellar observation of something that i worry about in my current life. it occured to me and i thought, wow, i think that really may be part of it.

depressed again is all. felt fine for a few days. back to thinking instead of ignoring and crying and worrying and everything else.

i am sad because i found out that all the stuff that was in frontier town was auctioned in september. all the carts, and signs, and the trains and all the fun stuff that made it such a neat place to explore is gone. i guess i should be glad i decided to stop there en route to tahawus with my mom.

and my computer doesn’t work.

 

my computer is completely broken and i need to buy a new one, and i really can’t justify it when i don’t need all the crap that comes with a whole new computer. i just fucking bought a harddrive, i don’t need another one, and i don’t need a cd burner. wtf am i gonna do with the shit i have? i thought dell was supposed to let you customize what you want to buy, and silly me assumed that you could customize it beyond just what they offer, so that i could choose a 10 mb hard drive, and no cd drive, not just that i could choose not to get a monitor with it.

new years eve has turned into the most dreaded day in the year. i don’t want to go to work. i’m not going to make it through midnight without crying. i really hope i am on break, so then i could at least hide. it just reminds me of how all my optimism that i had at the beginning of 2004 crashed and burned and how nothing that i wanted to happen to me did…

i’m really tired of my shift. i’m tired of being left out of everything because i work at night.

bad bad day.

now i will continue to stare at the 2 dell windows with my 2 over priced options full of shit i don’t want.

yep totally not spending 650$ on a bunch of stuff that I ALREADY HAVE! i guess i just won’t have a computer.

happy fucking new year

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so. congratulations to eric and tiffany who got engaged! first wedding of a close friend, should be interesting to see who gets invited and who shows up  I BETTER DAMN GET INVITED THO WE HAVENT SEEN EACHOTHER IN WELL OVER A YEAR!

so had my meeting about the project today, mainly just to make sure i knew what i was doing on a mac. things should go fine once i remember how to navigate the damn incomprehensible machines. the only thing that is going to take some work after the general scanning is complete is the iphoto -> pc conversion…anyone know an iphoto type program for a pc? where you can easily make a database of photos that will display/save comments etc….cuz i sure don’t. i don’t feel the need to have all that excess crap…just gimme a folder with the files in it and i’m set. meeting to start the work on tuesday.

my floppy drive doesn’t work so brian couldn’t fix my comp. he took it home with him and is going to do it at work tomorrow, so i can pick it up in the afternoon. hopefully all goes well and i don’t lose all my crap – most is backedup but i realized none of my saved emails are….and some are a bit important.

movie night turned into hair dye night, we died brian’s hair partially blue/black. and it is reaaally blue. but he seems to like it, as did everyone except james who thought the front should be more blue. bought pink highlights for my hair but didn’t do them. i changed my mind and wasn’t going to buy it, but brian accidentally bought it cuz i left it on the cashier belt thing. so now i have it, maybe tomorrow. i was too tired today cuz i got 3 hours of sleep. watched the documentary on one of james’s fav artists, andy goldsworthy, that i got him for christmas. he does semi-permanent site specific nature based installations – it’s really cool impressive stuff at times, look him up if interested.

also got more gifts since mail finally arrived. adr got me the U2 Show book YAY and made lei and i the fly and macphisto dolls hehehe

bri got me a book i wanted on my wish list, and the best book ever, britney spears is a 3 headed alien. hehe. and this fabulous print of his that is so surreal and wonderful.

got lots of books to read now, i was out. jerry loaned me the Jinx book on urban exploration…which i finished yesterday and was…”interesting”. i’ll leave it at that. carol got me 2 ayn rand books, atlas shrugged and fountainhead (maybe i’ll understand dirty dancing now! hehe). those books are going to suffocate me when i read in bed they’re so heavy. also bought myself these 2 books on my wishlist about nuclear testing and experimental medical testing during the cold war. dorky interesting history books i found when searching for…something…i forget. anyway. lots to read now.

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my hard drive is dead/dying. so i bought a new one (120gb for 50$!) and was waiting for wednesday for brian to come install it. and of course, monday night, the power goes out….so i’m afraid to turn my comp back on incase it kills the drive for good before brian can copy it…grrr….it better work one last time.

so…i faked sick sunday night cuz work pissed me off and i went home at 9. james came over at like 2am to play in the snow. went to bed, got up, went shopping. it was a lovely day. best i had all month.

i have a box that is basically completely filled with styrofome packing noodles. the cat doesn’t like to be put in the box, but keeps leaning in to grab a noodle to throw on the floor to play with. haha. he’s crazy. and he had another growth spurt.

u2 is supposedly going to pay 9-10 songs from the new album in their new live show. i didn’t realize the album even had 10 songs. and there are probably only 4 songs TOPS that are worth playing live. you know that the songs that are going to get cut are going to be from achtung and pop…grrr…when will they realize that their best work came during their midlife crisis?!?! or else they better be planning a 3 hour show….”kite” will get cut for “sometimes you can’t make it on your own” without a doubt…”elevation” for “vertigo”…i should wait and finally do my big u2 post. or i could look at it this way, there will be 9 or 10 songs i can go to the bathroom during…

tomorrow will be spent with tim tielman, for “the project”, and then movie night. and hopefully a fixed comp.

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last night the crew was over for gifts and watching episodes of arrested development. hadn’t seen it before, funny show. i’d venture it’s one of the better sitcoms on tv right now. not that i ever see sitcoms always being at work. since most of us are still awaiting gift arrivals in the mail there will be another gift night next week or the following. slow mail month…the big gift of the year is the chicken egg vending machine….!!!

today i went to see the parents for dinner and gifts, they are going to detroit tomorrow. james said he wanted to come over tonight to work on his painting, he surprised me by coming online today to follow up on coming over tonight, but he didn’t actually come over…i assumed since he hadn’t called or IMed me by 9 that he wasn’t coming. shouldn’t surprise me anymore really. nevermind.

brian invited me to his house for christmas eve with their family. 01111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 (that would be the cat) it might be a game time decision though. we’ll see i guess.

safe to say this has been an oddly emotionally trying month. if it’s some sort of test i’m failing miserably.

watching “black sheep”…i remember it being alot funnier than it is right now…

 

Merry Christmas.

Went to brian’s for dinner with their family, which was very good. it was snowing here when i left, dusting on the roads and the salters hadn’t been out yet. it just got worse though. it was pretty bad for multiple reasons 1. i have severe road rage in the winter 2. no plows had been out, tho HERE there was nothing to plow, everywhere else needed plowing, so people were driving scared 3. grand island was a near white out. there were at least 4 inches when i arrived at brian’s, and probably 6 or 7 when i left. here, we still have nothing. roads are fine pretty much now.

brian’s sister sherry gave me a banana republic leather jacket that didn’t fit her anymore, one more to add to the collection hehe, and this skirt that would probably fit jasen’s daughter, but the point was it’s the coolest fabric ever, totally fun. will need to find something to make it into.

it was a very nice time, and i thank them again for inviting me.

i called my grandmas house on the way home (since my phone won’t work here). it was sort of tough, though they all seem to be doing fine. it really is just not the same with my grandfather dead, and given my severly depressed emotional state it would have probably been very hard for me to be there despite all my professions of hating spending Christmas there. eric said there were still many incredible stories that i was missing, to be sure to ask for the update in toilet stories, and that i’ll definitely be seeing pictures of the black and leopard negliges that my grandma bought for everyone. HA i can only imagine. carol said grandma didn’t get me one though, cuz of course, i’m still 12.

so anyway. merry christmas.

i think something might be wrong with kitty’s teeth…the 2 big bottom teeth seem to be cracked and i never noticed it before. dunno…and his breath smells again but it might be from the cheese its haha.

i have a new obsession with the abandoned city hall subway station in nyc. i’m trying to get legal access, and ashamedly, i played the CTRC card. i gotta use my influence somehow i think hahah. hopefully it works out and we (me, lei and whoever else wants to go) can plan a weekend trip down to the city to take a tour. but if it doesn’t pan out we can just bribe the subway train driver to take us through on the out of service 6 train, and let us out onto the platform for a while. gotta love the internet with providing me all this useful information. i do believe that this station is where the river of pink slime ran through in ghostbusters 2, and if not the exact station, they definitely modeled the pink slime tunnel after it….now how to find out if it really IS the same station without going to rent ghostbusters 2 (tho i do love that movie for some reason, watched it a few weeks ago on tv as matter of fact).

i think i have an unhealthy interest in subways in general…i just find them so fascinating and i don’t really know why.

i’m in a ok mood right now, drastic change from before, if anyone managed to catch the post i just deleted from earlier…

*update* click more if you want info on the ghostbusters/city hall station thing…it sort of confused me but maybe that’s cuz i only have 2 of my painkillers left….

VAN HORNE STATION, NEW YORK PNEUMATIC RAILROAD, THE RIVER OF SLIME

“Slime! It’s a river of slime!”

Once one of the main stations for a revolutionary idea for an experimental subway system, it has now fallen into decay and has stagnated for over half a century. The main feature of the pneumatic railroad was it’s revolutionary idea for fan forced air trains and was built around 1870, however the system was later abandoned in favor of the now world renowned New York Subway. The pneumatic railroad, consisting of mostly illegal construction became abandoned and its inventor vanished.

F/N The NYPRR did actually exist, the station known as Van Horne is based off of the design for the old City Hall subway station, the very first station to be opened on the New York Subway. In 1870, Alfred Beach was determined to create the first subway system in NYC powered by air pressure. Using $350,000 of his own money, his crew worked for 58 days to build a tunnel 312 feet long across the street from City Hall.

The work was done in secret in the basement of Devlin’s clothing store. As of this moment, I have two sources that proclaim its location in two different spots. However, the tunnel was built curving outwards into the middle of Broadway where the current R line runs, connecting the Southern block of Murray street to the South Western Corner of Warren. The tunnel was 312 feet long.

Beach opened it to the media and then the public for 25 cents a ride, impressing all but the corrupt Tweed administration currently in power within the city. Beach attempted to get support to make his Pneumatic system larger for $5 Million, but Tweed and his cronies squashed it. After Tweed was arrested, Beach tried again, but this time landlords interfered, fearing tunnelling could weaken their buildings’ foundations. Beach closed his line.

Devlin’s store burned down in 1878 and the rubble removed to reveal the sealed up entrance to the secret subway. It was opened once for inspection, then resealed as a new building was constructed. In 1912, those contracted to build the modern subway wanted to take possession of the forgotten tunnel, causing a legal battle with Beach’s son, citing his company owned it. A portion of the tunnel was taken out to make room for the new line, but the rest exists, marked by a plaque in the now closed lower section of the City Hall station.

Ghostbusters II blended fiction with reality nicely. While their Pneumatic Transit System ran under the length of First Avenue, the tunnel work matched that used within the subway stations in the birth of the Metro Transit System. Even though the set encompassed 2 different centuries of architectural innovations, it’s still one helluva ride.

(from a site i forgot to copy the url of)

No real subway content here but the station that the Ghostbusters descend into and discover the “River of Slime” is based on the City Hall Station and may actually have had parts filmed there (I suspect it was a set based on the station). There is also a scene in which the Ghostbusters descend into a rail tunnel but this is probably just a set and not based on any particular location.

from nycsubway.org
“A piece of the tunnel remains under the City Hall station found in 1912 when they constructed the BMT lines we have today.”

i wonder if there is any possible way to access that anymore….beyond the plaque haha

merry christmas to ME

i just found 6 of my prescription painkillers in a bottle of ibuprofin!!!!!!!!!!

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after christmas i’m going to get acupuncture. because i cant take this anymore.

i dreamed i was trying to wood burn using a blow torch and i set flammable materials like paint on fire because the blow torch wouldn’t go out and there was all kind of cans of paint and varnish and chemicals near where i was working on this wood thing. big big fire i burned something down.

and i dreamed of fishing, but i was a kid, and i caught these 2 ugly yellow fishes, and then this person who was my dad caught this gigantic stripped fish thing. and then the tide suddenly went out and it was all beach and my dads idiot savant friend tim showed up.

and i was in some new version of the matrix, but it was like a video game. i had to fight all these other people before fighting the guy at the end – keanu. then keanu was in love with some samauri guy – yeah he was gay.

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i dreamed i was climbing mount everest. after climbing a long time i turned around for the first time and saw the most amazing view possible. vivid bright blue lake, with intense green trees surrounding it, perfect sky. just the perfect stereotypical view off a mountain. it was after seeing the view that i realized that i was climbing mount everest. i remembered i had a disposable camera with me and took a few pictures. but i only had 3 or 4 left so i thought i should save a few for later in the climb.

 

jerry is coming over tomorrow afternoon. i will try not to cry at him while he is here. probably won’t be doing any exploring because of time. but that is a-ok.

 

i had a very long dream about nate this morning. he had come home. i ran into him in a JC Pennys type department store, but it wasn’t a surprise. it was if i was supposed to meet him there. he was wearing all white. he looked good. we didn’t really say much, walked around the department store and cashed out at a register. it seemed like everyone knew him, or that all the girls wanted to know him. and i was getting really jealous, because i almost assumed that because he had sought me out that meant he wanted to get back together with me. the cashier was complimenting a snow globe he was holding. it was a snow globe that i had purchased on my way to the store, when i had gone through a restored central terminal, and inside the globe was the bronze buffalo from the building. i gave the girl dirty looks and said it was MY snow globe and that I had bought it, not him. and she just ignored me as if i wasn’t there talking. then we were in some kind of strange house, trying to get somewhere where we could sit and talk about niger. i left him somewhere to go use the phone so i could text lei that i was with nate. when you used a payphone it was like a vending machine, and it gave you a disposable single use cell phone (and you could also get a disposable single use gameboy). i went back to find nate and almost asked him if he had seen the new phone vending machines, forgetting that he has been in the middle of the “dark continent” for 2 years and has no idea what has gone on in the rest of the world.

not the best way to wake up today. thanks.

also massive headache.

the cat has a new routine in the morning. it’s to come sit on my head. with its face either in my neck, or in my ear purring into it. i imagine it’s quite cute but no one is ever here to see it.

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