i’m pretty positive i had a heart attack last night. i left work 2 hours early because it was so bad. i was going to drive myself to the ER on the way home but I decided to just go home and sleep. took 2 asprin and went to bed and it went away. then came back twice this morning, was going to take myself to ER again but i didn’t. now i’m up and it hasn’t come back yet, so we’ll see. it was bad. around 11:30 i went upstairs at work to get a drink and i was talking to nakita. i realized it sorta hurt to breathe, i thought it was all the smoke in the casino (although i was near a non smoking table so it wasn’t that bad yesterday). went back downstairs, maybe an hour later i realized it hurt all the time, not just when i inhaled. sharp pains near the middle of my chest, but on my right lung. during my 2nd break around 1 one of my sups came upstairs and asked what was wrong and i said my chest hurt so she took my pulse and stuff. it was my normal 90bpm. later she came by my pit and asked if i felt better and i felt continuously worse. so i said i wanted to go home and she got me out when people came in at 2. she wanted me to go to ER too. i was going to have the paramedics at work take a quick look at me but i couldn’t find any. ug.

then this morning, because my mom is the nicest person on the planet, it kept coming back. my mom decided she just HAD to hang a painting up at 6:45 am…what the hell makes someone hang a painting at 7am? i think something is seriously wrong with her because she is the least considerate person i’ve ever met. i don’t think they knew i came home early, so if i had gotten home at my normal time i would have been sleeping for 2 hours before she started hammering on the walls. what the fuck is so goddamn important about a picture that it has to be hung up at 7am? she had all fucking night last night to do it, and all fucking day today. THEN 10 am more banging. so i got out of bed went down stairs and was like WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT! she’s like oh, I forgot. I said, why do you have to do that when you were already pounding at quarter to 7. she’s like i wasn’t. i’m like yeah you were, hanging a painting or something, you KNOW i work nights. and what was her response? oh, yeah i was hanging a painting. get a normal job. people are supposed to be awake during the day and sleep at night. wait until summer when the windows are open. FUCK OFF. she’s such a bitch. she wonders why I don’t like her. every now and then she tries to lay some guilt trip on me “i don’t know why you don’t like me…” blah blah blah. BECAUSE YOU’RE A BITCH. she’ll be sorry when my heart explodes.

going to see the dr tomorrow at 11:30.

so..besides dying last night…had a good night. cried in the car on the way to work, but that’s almost normal. i seem to think about nate every time i drive anywhere. and given my state yesterday, i actually cried this time. at work when i got there, there was this awful awful “Band” playing…band’s play all day long, til about 12 or 1 usually, longer on weekends…i don’t know if you could call this a band. it was more like glorified kareoke. a guy playing keyboard, another guy who sometimes played bass, and a girl with their recorded backing music. when i got there they were doing the Grease melody…they ended with “word up” and “hella good” by no doubt. it was possibly the worst thing i’ve ever heard/seen. i don’t know how they got hired, because they sucked so bad. and basically it was just their singing that they could suck at since the music was coming from a tin can. they were worse than the elvis they had performing last week. the elvis guy is super famous around here, but…haha it was so cheesy. of course, these sucky people are playing saturday night. WHY?!

had some funny conversations with my sups before i got sick. i keep coming up with reasons for them to promote me before mike. once some of the sups get fired/quit and they do promotions the new sups will get stuck with graveyard shift tho… ug. mike asked me out again. wants me to meet him at wild wings tonight when i get out of work. no. i can’t avoid the kid anymore either, cuz he just calls me in whatever pit i’m in. he almost quit last night, i wish he would so then i’d definitely get promoted first, and i wouldn’t have to think of reasons not to go out with him. he totally more and more reminds me of psycho. which of course is not good, and no way in hell would i ever go out with him.

angela from hard rock came in last night, which was nice. ive been dreaming about how i miss my hard rock friends. so talked to her, and stuff.

i hate being forced to update programs on my comp. the other day music match made me update to 7.7 (i think) and then proceeded to not work anymore. uninstalled, dled the whole program again from them, still didn’t work. now real player made me update to some real one jukebox thing, which is the most hideous thing i’ve ever seen. why do they have to make all these programs so hideous and hard to use? the point of windows when it was made was so that every program was the same and easy to use…now i can’t even find the X to close programs and shit. ug. hate it.