alright this is pretty cool, and i had forgotten reading about it. year zero cd is black. until you play it and it heats up, take it out, and it’s not black anymore. grey/white with black text…binary which is surely part of the ARG. will do a CD review tomorrow or something…haha hyperpower should be hypercolor š
my year zero preorder from insound arrived today. or yesterday. and the box is soaking wet. thanks. that’s real good for the litho inside. š (litho safe thankfully, cuz it rocks, the art is resistance flag and not the rubber glove filled with water š )
my good buddy perezhilton posted about linkin park a few days ago, comparing their new video to NIN…saying that NIN had “been there, done that” ages ago. well the video had been taken offline so i didn’t get to watch it until now.the video…holy crap if the beginning piano wasn’t reminiscent of something i can never have. but then the vid didn’t seem to compare much, i was thinking it was something akin to the closer video. until I got 40 seconds in, and i swear to god that’s the same clip NIN used in the projections during “right where it belongs” on the with teeth tour. the flame thrower guy. and suddenly everyone is “aware” of…whatever…politics, environment, darfur, whatever…beyond that i see no resemblance.
4 days back at work and i think i’m getting sick already. the mood at work was slightly as if nothing had happened, but slightly not. it wasn’t being talked about as much as i had expected it to be. it was busy and no players (though i didn’t have many) said anything about it, no news crews or anything. mentioned it with a few people, but beyond that, no one was talking. they’ve left hand outs in employee areas for how to deal with traumatic events, and info on the employee assistance program. it really didn’t affect our shift beyond knowing who it was…
and i am related to this guy. he was a pro baseball player, played for the yankees. i think it’s funny that there is a poem about him, and a sound clip of announcers talking about him. i decided to google image search my last name…he comes up before me or my parents do…and also something comes up that appears to be one of vincent van goghs childhood drawings
Trent’s Berlin2 Speech
Nothing much to see, it’s all in the listening. *couldlistentotrenttalkalldaylong*
Home. Blah. More later but…
I got this email with the subject: YOU HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED AS UN-AMERICAN
And as I had suspected, it’s related to NIN and the Year Zero concept. But for a second it was a bit weird, given what we had talked about to the crazy conspiracy theory guy on the bike in Berlin, and how I said I was waiting for the FBI to be knocking on my door for all my talk of hoping someone assassinates Bush…for a second I thought “what if…” haha.
you kant…always get what you want – Berlin shows
Berlin shows 1&2
Getting to the venue the first day was ridiculous and I don’t even want to get into it. So frustrated and pissed and got there ālateā and just…terrible. The show was awesome. PoPo opened instead of Ladytron and they were…interesting. Far more entertaining to watch, but it all seemed somewhat chaotic and off to me. The 2nd show they seemed much more organized and smooth and I liked it better.
Pretty standard set for this leg, with Big Comedown, and the new songs. Was next to Vanessa at the rail in front of Aaron. Didn’t get messed with too much so that was good. Unfortunately during Burn we had a crowd of photographers in front of us. Great show though I can’t really say why and what made it stand out really. It made me really not want to go back home. Trent confirmed the 2nd new album and said they’d be back in Europe again soon, so… that’s nice. Hehe.
After the show a bunch of us went to Hard Rock to celebrate Mandy’s birthday. About 10 minutes after we get there āThe Hand That Feedsā video comes on. And we’re all totally retarded staring at it intently as if we’ve never seen it before, and rockin out, as if we hadn’t just heard he song in the show haha.
2nd show I scalped a ticket, and queued all day. It was…interesting. Sue and Kim and I got accosted by this guy on a bike. We were talking and he just appears and in German asks us what kind of music NIN was. So we talk about it, and then he starts speaking basically perfect english ā about how we’re Americans without guns. Which led to āhey I didn’t vote for Bush.ā And suddenly he’s off for about a half our about how Bush and his cronies planned and carried out 9-11 themselves, how he has all this proof that he collected on the internet and he starts pulling out cds and giving them to us, then asking for a few euro because he was trying to sell them. He just goes on and on about all this governmental conspiracy stuff. Now the strange(r) thing about it was that so much of what he was saying fit into the Year Zero concept. And once we finally got rid of him we started talking about how much of a coincidence it was, and that maybe that was planned to happen. Instead of USBs found in venue bathrooms this guy was part of the Year Zero ARG and maybe these cds he gave us ā 3 different ones ā are the next step in the game, leading to a new website or song. It just seemed too weird. So I took mine down to the internet cafe and took a look. No it was really just crazy conspiracy theory stuff. However one CD that Kim took was called āFinal Solution to A Hitlerā…final solution being a song that NIN played sometimes in the summer…and then we’re at the rail before the show, and they play final solution over the speakers…Maybe it is something afterall. Probably not, but just too many coincidences. At least now I have a rather unique souvenir hahaha.
I made the decision to try to change my flight home and stay on the tour through Vienna. Didn’t seem like it was going to work out but I tried, and tried more after the show with no luck. And I didn’t get to hear The Fragile or We’re in This Together…you kant…always get want you want.
The show…was weird. I didn’t notice it being all that bad ā the sound to me was fine and normal. However they were having technical difficulties with the lights. They wouldn’t come on at the right time, or not come on at all. The first verse of Something I Can Never Have was in darkness, with Trent eventually getting a flashlight and shining it on his face until the lights came on hahah. After Closer, which was oddly cut short ā the end piano notes just stopped ā Trent said he had spent the day driving around the city and that it was beautiful, and that he came to the show ready to kick ass and beat us all into submission. But that they were having technical difficulties and they were all pissed, and they were going to take a minute to regroup and then beat us all into submission. Well…it didn’t really happen. The lights continued to be sort of late in coming on, so they weren’t matching up to the music, etc. I know that it’s annoying, but things could have been worse hahah. Set was pretty standard, no Last, but got the frail/the wretched and la mer/into the void which I was glad to see again before I left.
The shows have been so much fun, queuing included, and I really don’t want it to end. The experience has been so less stressful and much more mellow than the experience in the US. I definitely will be back for more shows in Europe. I had much more fun and everyone was in a better mood than in the summer. I am very very glad that I came and not just for having met Trent. It’s for having met everyone else, and spending more time with S and V and just…being a part of something. It feels like it was all sort of special ā for some reason. Which is awesome š
Happy Birthday To Aaron
Amsterdam show today. So irritated. I was going to get up early to go to the Van Gogh museum. But the wind/weather sounded terrible and I really wanted to sleep so I did, til around noon. That still gave me plenty of time to check out the museum then go to the venue. Except I got lost and it took me and hour and a half to find the damn venue. By that time it was like 2:30 and I wouldn’t have enough time to go and get back to the venue by 4ish incase we were let in for anything. So I stayed at the venue and froze with everyone. There were many more Americans there now, including this guy who I don’t remember his name, but I recognize him from someplace – most likely Cabazon we decided. Him and his wife were cool, from Houston and talked alot while we froze. Brandy brought our tickets and said there would be a sound check. Except that when she came back at 4 to prepare, Trent radioed that he changed his mind. Moody bitch hehe. lovetrent. So we got to freeze some more outside instead.
The venue was the Paradiso which was an old church. Very cool inside and super small. Something like 1200 people. The stage was so small that there was about 4 feet between Ali and Josh’s risers, add Trent’s table and piano, and that left about 2 feet for Trent to move from the front of the stage to the back. Just so small! Given the smallness I didn’t get rail, was right behind Sue. Then some people showed up who I could tell were going to annoy the shit out of me, so I decided to go up and sit front row of the balcony. I could actually see the whole show this time, it was neat.
Nothing super special. Pilgramage, Mr Self Destruct, Last, Heresy, The Beginning is the End, March of the Pigs, Piggy, Closer, Line Begins To Blur, Burn, Wish, Help Me I Am In Hell, Eraser, Reptile, Survivalism, No You Don’t, Suck, Hurt, Hand that Feeds, Head Like A Hole. Something like that, I think I’m missing a few. I was glad to get Line Begins To Blur – I missed that song muchly. I love it live, it’s so pretty. Trent at one point decided to give credit to his band, introducing each one, then with Aaron mentioning it was his birthday. People started to sing, so Trent threw the mic out into the crowd to sing to Aaron. It was cute. Someone threw some kind of stuffed animal at him haha.
So starting in Cologne, while queing the incorrect song lyrics keep coming up in conversation. And I think Trent has heard us joking about “smash up my jelly beans” as a line from Gave Up and he decided to stop playing it. jk of course. But he left it out again today.
2 shows left to get The Fragile and We’re In This Together. Well…2 if I can find a ticket to Berlin2.
We leave for Berlin at almost 8pm tomorrow so I’m going to attempt to get to Van Gogh. I actually can’t wait to leave this city. I think it’s way overrated, unless you’re a pot head. In that case, game on.
Oh and “The Beginning is the End” when it begins is just drums, and it sounds like “My Sharona”
Brussels 2
How can the 2nd Brussels show really compare? haha
Today it snowed. Lucky for us, S, V, Sue and I were in a coffee shop for most of it. Sue got blamed for bringing the snow from Canada though.
Nothing special for us today, and how could anyone expect anything else from the band. We almost had another Hurt fiasco but it was kept under control and Trent didn’t seem to get pissed. But maybe next time he plays Brussels he’ll decide that the town shouldn’t get to hear that song if they’re going to be disrespectful. I may think it’s boring and I may be tired of seeing it, but still…it’s a great song, and everyone should shut up during it haha.
Setlist was something like: Mr Self Destruct, Sin, Terrible Lie, March of the Pigs, Something I Can Never Have, The Beginning is the End, Closer, Burn, Wish, Help Me I Am In Hell, Eraser..um..No You Don’t, Survivalism, Only, Suck, Reptile (yay), You Know What You Are, Hurt, The Hand That Feeds, Head Like A Hole…so a bit different and mixed up. No Gave Up…I didn’t miss it but I’d rather it over Suck. I don’t have alot else to say about it. The massive post yesterday took it all out of me. š
I realized that I need to see so many shows because when in front I spend probably 1/3rd of the time with my eyes closed. š And I think that every now and then I do need to watch from farther back just so I can see it all.
My wishlist for the remaining 3 shows: The Fragile, We’re In This Together and The Becoming at least one more time. And any time he wants to throw in something from total left field, like Physical or And All That Could Have Been, that’d be fine too.
Hell I’m happy with anything.
in case you missed it on vox
i met trent fucking reznor.
*dies now*
Full Circle
First a little story.
Some of you know how I was led into my NIN fandom and some of you don’t. I don’t like talking about it, not because it is bad, but because it’s strange. Long story short, I had an odd dream that revolved around Julie, an old friend and ex-babysitter who was a heroin addict. The dream wouldn’t leave me alone, it led to me pulling out The Downward Spiral and listening to it for the firstĀ time in years. That was 1999. I don’t think I’ve seen her since aroundĀ then or shortly after she got out of jail/rehab in 2000.
We left Gent for Brussels this morning. I had set the alarm for 8:30 and it woke me up out of this dream I was having. In the dream there were these weird storms, with lots of lightning flashing everywhere, and I was at work at the old small Tops grocery store on Nash Road. The storms ended and the power came back on in the store and we let customers in again. Who walks in, Julie. She sees me and comes over so happy to see me after all these years, and hugs me, and tells the friends that she was with how much she always liked me and how happy she was that I was there.
I thought it was strange I dreamed about her when I haven’t seen or thought about her in a long time.
We caught the 10am train to Brussels, found the hotel, and I wandered through the rain to the venue at 11:30. Rain – the good weather couldn’t last forever. Thankfully it stopped and most of the rest of the day was rain free. There were 3 people ahead of me, and Sue arrived shortly after I did. Brandy came out a bit later and said something would be happening later. Good news of course. We figured Year Zero listening party, with maybe waffels this time haha. S and V joined and the time passed away. We were moved over to the back stage entrance where the Spiral entrance was to be (odd), waited there and the band arrived and walked by. Later John came out to say we’d be going in for a few songs and the band would come out and sign one thing each.
33 shows later, I met Trent Reznor. I finally got a fucking meet and greet.
Now this completely blows my mind. At one point in the morning I realized how odd it was that I dreamed about Julie, and it reminded me that a dream about her is what started all of this 8 years ago. I just CANNOT get over this. It makes absolutely no sense to me. I commented to Sue about it, without going into details, because it was just so weird that she suddenly appeared in a dream. At the end of all this, I still cannot begin to wrap my mind into this odd phenomenon. That’s what I’m calling it haha.
But I met Trent Reznor. And I didn’t throw up, or cry, or stumble over my words, or trip over my own feet, or any other equally embarassing possibility. I should start from the beginning though. I’m trying to remain calm haha.
We went in as the band began playing The Frail. They followed with The Wretched, La Mer, Into the Void, Please, and Wish. It’s been awhile since I remember hearing Please, it was nice. Todd, Trent’s mic kid, was giving us all chocolates. They had something in them, and after I asked ifĀ it was liquor, he was like “maaaaybe”, so I asked if he was trying to get us all drunk haha. He gave me some other chocolate after that had chili pepper in it, it was weird. Anyway. They finished up and left, Ali staying on stage to mess around with his equipment. We were instructed to all stand against the barrier and then down along the wall and the band members would come out to talk to everyone. First out was Jeordie. To be perfectly honest I had no idea what to say to him. I really know nothing about him except past bands, and just…nothing. So I just was polite and asked how he was doing, and had him sign my big ticket (we had 2, spiral and venue ticket). Apparently he was in a better mood today than he usually is during meet and greets. Josh followed, and you could tell he was still stuffed up and sick. I asked if he was feeling better, he asked where I was from and said Buffalo – the one place they played all around but never in. He didn’t believe that they hadn’t played Buffalo, so I went through “Rochester, Erie, TorontoĀ 5 times” He said they’d have to do it next time. I love Josh. That is all. Aaron followed. He’s so short. Really nice though, asked my name. I told him that 2 years ago in Reno he walked by Adr2 and I carrying a pizza and we had no clue who he was. He replied, “And you still don’t know who I am.” I said, “After the show, we looked at eachother and said, he fucking walked by us with a pizza.” One of the crew guys standing there said he liked that story. Ali didn’t end up coming down, apparently he’s really shy.
Then Trent. I watched the soundcheck songs at the rail, but everyone smooshed in for the M&G and so I moved down to the end of the line. I paced around waiting, and strangely I wasn’t nervous at all. He spent a decent amount of time with everyone, talking and taking pictures. The girl in front of me asked me to use her phone to take a picture of them, and then left. Me and Trent, face to face. And I still wasn’t nervous. He introduced himself (ha!) and shook my hand. I said “Finally” haha. Gave him my Spiral ticket to sign. I said, “I don’t have a camera but could I have a hug?” And with absolutely no hesitation he hugged me, and said, “A hug is just as good as a picture.” And it wasn’t some stupid halfass hug, it was a real one. And he smelled good. He was just so nice, and smily with people. So I let go and no one had to pry me off or anything haha. I still wasn’t nervous. I thanked him for everything and for the last 2 years being so great.
Sue and I had talked about M&Gs earlier in the day, and I had gotten nervous and wanted to cry just talking about it. ButĀ I was perfectly fine when it happened. I walked back outside, and she was like, “Are you ok?” I am/was sooo ok. Then they noticed how bad I was shaking and pointed it out. Shit. But I realized when I handed my ticket to Trent, I wasn’t shaking, and didn’t look stupid. It was just after that I was shaking and just could.not.stop. I called Adr2 cuz she’s the only phone number I have, and she had to hide at work while I told her everything. I almost cried at that point but I didn’t. I just kept shaking. Sue and I went to the bar to get a drink so I’d stop shaking haha. At at that point there was a gathering of NIN fans in the bar and I was able to find a ticket for tomorrow’s show. Yay.
So we waited to be let back in for the show. And at this point what else do I say? At rail slightly to the right of Trent. The setlist was much like London 1, but we got Dead Souls and Big Come Down. It was good and strange. Things seemed to be going very well, and Trent seemed pleased with the crowd. The whole place sang the “doesn’t it make you feel better, the pigs have won tonight…” part of March of the Pigs and he just watched, and smiled. Things went well until Hurt, when we all thought we were going to have a “Grand Rapids moment” and Trent was going to walk off. Halfway through the song, someone yelled something, someone else yelled something back, everyone’s going shhhh and Trent just stopped mid verse and stood there. As if he was thinking whether he should throw the keyboard over and end the show or not. In the end he didn’t, but I swear we all held our breath waiting for it to be the end of the show. Sadly, after he started again and for the remaining few songs he was totally gone and out of it. Just going through the motions. And it was so strange to see, just a complete change in him from before that moment to after. I don’t think we ever saw that from him before, even at the shows he was most pissed off at. You could just feel it, that he just turned himself off. (Reminded me of myself haha) Thankfully I guess, only 2 songs follow Hurt.
The venue was small, and great, and sounded awesome. No ringing ears in the slightest, and even the preshow music sounded clear and good. Apparently the venue in Amsterdam is an old church….
And I got a drum stick. I didn’t quite know that I had it. I saw it get thrown at the crowd, and I didn’t see it coming towards me, I actually was watching where the other one was going, but didn’t try to catch either. Then I look down and somehow the drum stick was in my arms. LOL. And no one else had noticed either, so no fighting. Go me I guess.
Got some fries and beer with S and V and Sue and Kim after and headed back to the hotel. David asked, now that you met him, what’s next? Meeting Trent again hahahahha. I have to remembr to tell him about how perfect the Terminal is as a set for a Year Zero movie/video and thank him for the tambourine.
Pardon me for a moment. OMFG i fucking met trent fucking reznor after all this time and all the missed chances before and i got a fucking hug and he smelled so good and i didn’t throw up on his shoes and he was so cute, and omg!!!!!!!!!!!111111111!!! Thank you. I’m finished now. š
Oh who am I kidding, this will get me through at least the next few days hahahahahahahha. omfg. nothing can stop me now…