watching an episode of Growing Pains, and it features Brad Pitt as a rockstar. The premise is the young son really loves this rock star, gets to meet him and gets an autograph, but then later accidentally walks in on Brad making out with a groupie and not his wife, and the kid’s image of him is all down the drain. that’s one of the reasons i don’t want to meet trent. (i forgot i had written this last night haha)
one of the senators arguing crap about the iraq war and the new non binding resolutions compared support, or lack of, to what would have happened at the alamo if congress had called davy crocket and told him that the govt supported him but wouldn’t send any troops…wait a sec. wasn’t the alamo a total loss? *wiki* “ended on Sunday, March 6 with the capture of the mission and the death of nearly all the Texian defenders” right. thought so.
hockey game tonight. win in overtime. though not without 2 more injuries – max broke his wrist, and novotny spraining his ankle. i had this giant guy sitting next to me. he wasn’t enormously fat, but just…large. really tall, with huge legs that he insisted on spreading apart as much as possible. ok i’m a small person, i take up about half the room as normal people, but that does not mean you can spread all your shit out all over me. at times when i stood up, my seat didn’t flip up because his huge leg was half on it and holding it down. ug. so obnoxious. if he stood up, his ass was right in my face, so i’d stand up too. then his elbow was face level and i thought he was going to take an eye out. arg. thankfully he doesn’t have those seats as seasons so i won’t have to deal with that again.
so…i’m gonna be honest. i’m working myself into an eating disorder sort of. before anyone clicks “comment” and tells me i’m not fat, I know that!!!!!!! LOL i’m not fat in any sense of the word. but even if no one believes me, i did gain 20 lbs last year, and when you think about it, 20lbs of beef is alot of flesh. i don’t care if you can’t tell, *i* can tell, i can feel it in my legs and stomach. and i can tell because clothes i bought in the summer don’t fit – including my 2 awesome dresses. there’s no hope the fishnet dress will fit now, it barely fit in april haha. shirts that used to fit now cut off the circulation to my arms. and i think, i need to lose these 20 lbs so i can fit into my clothes again. alright, so i’ll eat better, more protein, less carbs. except i’m a carb addict. do they have rehab for that? that’s all i want to eat. all i want right now is a huge bowl of mashed potatos. so then i think, alright if i want to eat the crappy food that i eat, i need to start exercising. but then that lasts a day. it’s too hard. i can see why some are attracted to anorexia – it’s so much easier!!!! but then there’s the other problem…i can’t not eat. it makes me sick. it gives me wicked headaches, and i just get so hungry i have to eat. so scratch that. and i can’t make myself throw up, so there goes bulemia. so i’m stuck eating crappy carb loaded food, not exercising, and gaining 20 lbs. so don’t comment that i’m not fat because i know that i’m not, and don’t comment that eating disorders are dangerous, because i don’t have one. i am just obsessing over the fact that my clothes don’t fit anymore. i figure with the activity of the vacation and travel times being weird etc i’ll lose some weight over seas. maybe when i get back i’ll actually try the exercising thing haha. actually. would anyone be interesting in rock climbing at the rock gym with me? it’s been…god 12 years since i’ve done it, but it was fun, and probably good exercise.
“i see you’re drinking 2%, is that cuz you think you’re fat?” hahahahha
saw the cutest bathing suit at zumiez yesterday, if i 1. had boobs 2. ever went swimming or 3. even ever went outside when it was warm. hahah.
books
i finished Wicked last week. i enjoyed it. it was very very different from what i expected, very politcal and shows a side of oz that is completely different from what you see in The Wizard of Oz movie. if you read it, pay attention to characters, they keep popping up. in discussing this with molino we feel confused about it – there are alot of loose ends and things that aren’t explained to my satisfaction. i suggest it though. and it probably helps if you want to see the musical.
i finished A Death in Belmont today. it’s a true crime book about the Boston Strangler. but it doesn’t just go through the killings, the author who also wrote A Perfect Storm, tells the true story of his family’s brush with the Strangler – he worked construction on their house during the same time period. Very interesting, very quick read. i also recommend it. especially if you like serial killers like me haha.
now i am going to start another serial killer book cuz i’m a freak – Green River Running Red – about the Green River killer. hehe excited! now if only someone would buy the zodiac books i want, or offer them on bookmooch i’d be all set. i’ve wanted these books for years now.
