Category Archives: Personal

new design. should look decent enough in 800/600 and that other one…1024 or whatever. i thought it was about time. it seemed like 19 was up longer than it actually was. it was only up for approx 2 months, which is my normal layout change time. definitely seemed longer though. so yeah. a few people should get the reference. one should for sure and if she doesn’t…she deserves to….have all her privaledges removed lol. i can’t spell privaledges.

went out to the store with mom and adr to try to find stuff for the craft i want to make. couldn’t find it, so ordered it online (which i didn’t want to do. but it would have been more expensive at the store anyway, if they had what i needed). i’m freezing. gotta get ready to go to eric’s soon.

i have a new friend online. and it’s strange because i was thinking the other day how i don’t meet new friends online anymore. i’m not a part of any web communities any longer, so i don’t get the chance to interact with many people. mjifc closed, but i hadn’t been a part of that in years. i don’t go to the u2 msg board anymore cuz it got sucky. once mps moved out, i stopped going….so i’m not a part of anything anymore.

actually i have 2 new friends. both found me by finding my photography site. which i find weird too haha. one is from around here, obsessed with the terminal. the other is out in the midwest who was looking for cemetery pictures. i might be doing a website for him to showcase his art work. so that’ll be cool. we’ve been emailing the past few days and he seems way rad. yay for new friends.

something is wrong with my comp/browser. i had to reload every page i went to in order to see any new data. i thought i had fallen into a time warp where yahoo hadn’t reported any news, and the sabres hadn’t played a game last night and won, and my friends had stopped blogging. but arg, that’s really annoying. fix it.

work was good last night. “the reason” was in AGAIN last night. can we say gambler-aholoic. it’s gotten even better now. i gotta talk to adr 🙂 *edit* ROFL i just read something about “the reason” and that could explain why he’s always at the casino now. and why he was there til 5am sunday. hahah. doesn’t explain why he’s not on crutches…hmm.

also spent over an hour talking to my one sup…about ozzy…mj…sandy knowing mj…nkotb…concerts…ozzfest…more concerts…meeting bands…etc. it was fun. managed to switch days again so i have next friday off too. thank god. so now i gotta work tuesday. which is good too, because i didn’t want to work monday and have that big long stretch of days in a row again like this week. that was awful.

rawk the fuck on. ozzfest @ darien lake august 11th. so totally going. ozzy, korn, manson…yeah. i’m so there. i was afraid it would only come as close as toronto (or worse, barrie) and i didn’t feel like traveling for it (especially not to barrie). but darien…yay! i’m so excited. if things keep going this way, it’ll be my first concert all year. how sad. hahah

omg i think i dreamed nate was dead. yeah. i did. i was dreaming about how i was always saying i got a letter from nate, which means he is alive…or at least was when he wrote it 3 weeks prior…and then it turned out he really was dead. ug.

went to the neurologist. i got new meds to try (one daily before bed to prevent them, one type of painkiller – the bedtime one apparently makes u sleepy, so hopefully i’ll be able to sleep good with it. i think it’s an anti depressant too…one of them is), and i am waiting for buffalo mri to call me back to schedule an apt there. they said i need permission from my insurance, so they were gonna call or…something. and call me back. that’s all i know, they’re supposed to call back. the new dr was nice…kinda didn’t like that she didn’t ask me to explain my headaches, and just went with whatever was written down in my old chart. she asked some clarification questions…but she thought i only had gotten headaches when i was a teenager. try like 2 years old i was getting headaches. so the old dr apparently didn’t write down correct things about what was wrong with me. and she still didn’t catch on to the fact that i have SHARP SHOOTING PAINS through my head. haha. but getting the mri to make sure nothing is really wrong.

work at 7 tonight. lucky me. talked to adr last night, filled her in on stuff. she might not be able to go to eric’s party cuz she works real late, but we’ll see. i’m going to try to get next friday off as well, so i can sleep for the interview at UB. i decided i really cannot do it, if i’m not getting home til real late, and having to get up 4 hours later. that would just be really really bad.

i have an interview at UB on march 1st. at 10 am…after working friday night. UG. maybe i can con someone into giving me friday off again.

so the reason work was so good on sunday night, was in again last night. but i was the breaker, and wasn’t near “the reason” at any point. i left work 2 hrs early cuz i couldn’t take being there anymore. today i have off and nothing to do. yippee.

had a rad dream i just remembered about u2…and then 2 about seeing phantom of the opera again. it’s playing in buffalo end of march/early april and one of my sups has been talking about wanting to go. so now i want to go again too, even tho that’d be um…4 times, and my parents would prolly be bitchy about it asking why don’t i ever want to go see something new, like mama mia.

AP is reporting APC stole Danny lohner from NIN…but the funny part is how they mention APC is in litagation with the Offspring over the new album title…when i was under the impression that (assuming it was) manyard’s post was a big joke. i totally didn’t take that part seriously, given the tone of the entire news report on the APC site LOL. just strikes me as funny.

bono was nominated for the nobel peace prize. i’d be hella surprised if he won it, but it’s super cool he was nominated. bono is great.

going to the neurologist tomorrow instead of march 3rd. 9am ug. but that’s ok.

had a fabulous night at work. seriously. ask me why.

not looking forward to tomorrow tho. there’s only one sup on, and it’s the really stupid one. and not only is she stupid but she’s scared, or perhaps incapable of making any decisions…which makes for a good supervisor, don’t you think? she told me her plan is to hide in the office all night, and to hide the portable phone in the file cabinet so we can call her all we want, but she won’t hear it. what a great supervisor. it’s gonna be a long night.

gotta run some errands tomorrow. i had a few, but i can only remember 1 now…office max, for 100 cdrs for free after rebates. even tho i don’t think i’ve ever gotten a rebate back my entire life, the price will still be about 17 bucks cuz there is one instant instore rebate on it. then 2 mail ins. 17 bucks seems like a good price to me.

nakita loved the 2 cds i made her. they were some of her requests, then filled up the rest with nin and tea party. gave her the whole still disc, then random highlights from the rest of the albums. yay. that makes me happy.

i wish i could have gone to see a tea show with nate. i don’t know why, but it seems like it would have been a good choice of shows to go to with him. hollowpoint doesn’t count. too bad it didn’t happen.

headed out on the town to do my errands, which i still only remembered office max. i only ever go to office max in a blizzard it seems. last time i was there, with adr a long time ago, it was a blizzard. again today, blizzard. roads were slow and slippery. and of course they were sold out of the 100 cdrs for free after rebates. great. so i went to best buy, who had 100 cdrs for 7.99$ after rebates. took me forever to find them, because nothing was labeled, and i didn’t know what was on sale. i had seen the flyer on line cuz mom had thrown it out. managed to find a flyer laying around in the store, but then of course the shelf was empty. wandered around waiting for someone to notice that i was standing there jaw dropped in a daze, and ask if they could help me. no one did, but i managed to find another stash of them on my own. so picked those up. i should be good for a while now.

from there i ventured to frisbees, cuz it had been awhile since i stopped in. they had tons of stuff. not stuff i’d buy, but more than usual. i got eric a bunch of bday gifts he’ll be excited about. they’re all things he would have for sure bought on his own if he were there lol. yay for gifts that are sure to be enjoyed. that’s why alcohol is always such a good gift.

i’ve taken to trying to listen to the radio, because i’m so beyond tired of all the cds i own. it was middle school flashback on the radio today. collective soul’s “shine”, goo goo dolls “name”…all i needed was some gin blossoms and i’d feel 12 again (you know, except for the fact i was driving haha). weird thing, i’d been trying to remember the name of that collective soul song so i could dl it, and then it was on the radio today. i’ve sorta come to terms with the music i didn’t really like back then, like collective soul, gin blossoms etc…and i realize it’s so much better than most of the shit playing today haha. yay for pre-Creed music! hooray for grunge! bring back the flannels! on another note, for a long time when “Shine” came out i thought it was by Adam Sandler…cuz the end adlib kinda part, where the speed of the song picks up, the guy sounds like Adam Sandler. haha. the “heey yeaah hey yeaah” part sounds like Sandler immitating Eddie Vedder LOL. *edit @5:30pm* i take it back, gin blossoms were still crap.

in conclusion, walking in snow (or sand) is an artform, and i think people from warm climates would have alot of trouble walking in snow at first. when you first do it, you end up hurting cuz you use muscles that you don’t normally use when you walk. it’s strange. haha. same with sand. and why is it always so quiet in the winter? you can go outside, and not hear any traffic. i don’t get it. it’s nice. i like it. but…i don’t get why.

*edit 2* google bought pyra/blogger…hmm. wonder what that means for us. at least it wasn’t yahoo.

i. hate. adelphia. internet broken AGAIN. it’s been off since sometime tuesday night/wed morning. ug.

i had really great dreams the past 2 nights. tues night, i was dating trent reznor. i don’t know what’s up with the trent dreams, haven’t been thinking about him all that much recently. last night, my friend bought the zootv stage on ebay, and me her, fishy and nate were exploring it. then nate was dressed like macphisto and yeah it was fabulous.

work was fine. i was breaker and didn’t know it, so i got to spend the first and last hour of my shift doing nothing. my one supervisor, the one i thought was really stupid but ended up being ok, left. and she didn’t tell any of us that she was leaving. so we didn’t get to say goodbye. it’s crappy. and they’re not replacing her position, so there is still not much hope i’d get promoted any time soon. i gotta go in early today to fix my health insurance crap, and try to get bigger pants AGAIN.

there was more i had to say…OH YEAH…just went to the post office to send nate the ugly kylie calendar. the stupid post office lady had to go and tell me they have alot of problems sending things to niger because the envelopes end up empty…alot of pilfering and stuff. so now i don’t know what to do, cuz if i send it the expensive really safe way, he’s gotta sign for it. and who knows where he’ll be at the end of this month. i dunno if i should still send him the cd player and stuff, even tho it didn’t cost me anything (adr gave me her old cd player to send to him) i still don’t want the stuff to get stolen. so now i’m all nervous. gotta figure out what i’m gonna do.

so before i got home (i’m at the library) one last thing. if anyone mentions valentines day to me i will shoot you. have a good day.

i can’t see. so if i typo, that’s why. i feel like my dad when he doesn’t have reading glasses.

we did go to the casino for dinner last night. it was really good, even my parents thought so. and they were impressed with how beautiful the casino is. so we ate, and walked around the floor. mom wanted to play some of the progressive nickle slots so we tried to play the james dean ones. it was comical. because i can’t touch the machines, and my mom is a moron…she didn’t know what face up meant, to put the dollar into the slot. so she’s putting it every which way and it keeps spitting back out at her. so we change machines, and it keeps spitting the money back. then my dad comes and we’re trying to get the machine to take the money lol. had to be there i guess. it was really funny. well after like 15 min we sorta figured it must not take dollar bills, only 5 and up. so we ended up playing regis cash club slots, and spending 5 dollars.

i’m blind because i just got back from getting my eyes checked. turns out i’m not going blind, so that’s good. he said my eyes look healthy and stuff, except that my lens (or did he say iris, i can’t remember) has weird bulges on it. they didn’t concern him, but he said to come back in 6 months to see if they changed shape or anything. and to come back if i start losing vision in my right eye cuz of the floaters and stuff. that’s why i went, the floaters…they’re driving me nuts. but he said no my retina isn’t detaching. haha. good. i don’t want eye surgery. ug. i hate things that deal with the eyes. it was weird enough that he put anestetic in my eyes before the dialaation drops. they felt so funny. and i look like a drug addict at the moment. haha

paz left, twiggy ramirez joined, troy left, danny lohner joined…apc that is. can’t wait for new material!! the apc news release is hilarious. maynard musta written it. funny thing is, i read an article saying twiggy was joining metallica. guess not haha

question 1: why do i like justin timberlake?…actually, i think i’ve figured this one out. on a certain level he reminds me of nate. no they do not look alike, and the only time i heard nate sing really, was in his movie. he doesn’t have a popstar voice, he has a “i’m trained in theatre to sing real loud so you can hear me in the back” voice. it’s just that justin reminds me of nate for reasons only nate and i know. well actually, probably i only know them. he’d know them if i reminded him. but you know guys, they don’t catch on to things like girls do. so i think that’s why i like justin timberlake. and he’s damn sexy in that video.

question 2: why do i like eminem? this one i have no answer for. ug. i heard that “Superman” song on the radio to and from work the other day and i thought it was kinda cool. i’m ashamed.

question 3: why do only fat goofy/dorky looking guys only talk to me at work? why can’t one of the 4 floor sups who i think are sorta good looking talk to me? ok i should take that back, cuz they do talk to me sometimes, but only the fat dorky ones get disappointed that i don’t sit with them on break lol.

supposed to go to work tonight for dinner with the parents, but not sure anymore. dad had to go to the doctor cuz something is very wrong with his leg that got crushed 8 years ago. so depending on how that goes, and like…if he had to get admited into the hospital cuz he’s about to die or something…it will decide if we still go. i have to stop at the wardrobe ppl first, to return my pants again cuz they are no bigger than the size 4 they gave me first.

and i gotta call walmart to make an eye appt. mom says they’d be able to tell if i’m really going blind, so that i could make an appt with a real eye doctor. i still think it’s my brain tumor and not my retina that’s making me go blind. but better check it anyway.