Category Archives: Personal

i am really scared about something and i don’t know what. it’s freaking me out. just very very frightened…of something happening. and i’m not sure if that “something” is necessarily bad or not, just…bad in a way. that it would be bad for me maybe. things feel ominous i guess. makes me want to cry actually. i don’t like it.

movie night was held at jasens last night. watched lock stock and two smoking barrels, which was very much like snatch (or rather snatch was like it). then boondock saints. entertaining as always. i had requested no super deep hurt my brain movies this week.

i already don’t want to go back to work tomorrow.

today…dunno. some shopping, then i dunno. entertain me on my last night of freedom.

drove out to buffalo to go to gothic city antiques. wanted to see how much the knight’s armor cost (275), the iron arch outside (sold) and found the big rocket old amusement ride thing (500). if only i had tons of money to buy fun stuff like the big rocket and armor haha. attempted to go to the architectural circus since we were in the neighborhood but it was closed. drove down elmwood back towards home, stopped at premier liquor, and best buy. i found out lacuna coil re-released comalies with a 2nd bonus disc of acoustic tracks…so i had to buy it. and it wasn’t insanely expensive, i just wish i had known about it 4 days ago when i was at best buy looking for something to use my gift certificate on. but whatever. the bonus disc is cool, they sound just as good acoustic as all rocked out.

came home, went to get pizza for dinner, back home, then to the casino for a few hours. lost. woo hoo. attempted to go to dennys on the way home but it was packed, so we just came home. 11:30 and nothing else to do…

i’m sorry my posts are so boring and uncreative. i feel as if i have nothing to say anymore. and since i’m as emotionally level as i have been in 5 months, i have no drama to write about cryptically or anything. haha no feelings to talk/whine about at the moment. of course. that could all change tomorrow but LOL. for now.

i don’t feel like getting all political here….the movie…it was good. i think michael moore lost focus at times, and when he seemed about to make a point, he’d lose it and move on to something else. bush truly is an idiot however. but we knew that already.

james made dinner afterwards, melted crayons, watched interview with a vampire. fun fun.

had to get up and go to the dermatologist today. stupid face always breaking out I’M NOT A TEEN ANYMORE HELLO!!!!!!!! this was supposed to stop 4 years ago. as always, waited for 45 min to actually see her, for 10 min, and sent me away with some samples that i’m sure won’t work, and my face will still be gross when i go see here again in october. stupid face. stupid skin.

i really should do some web work today…finally set up the bct store maybe. but i gotta scan my dad’s photos which means taking them out of the frames, blahblahblah. and i’m procrastinating it. big time.

drove out to syms yesterday to hopefully buy new suits for work. they had nothing. everything was hideous. there was one nice designer suit that was expensive and didn’t fit. blah. did some other running around, ate at my parents, went with leigh to return a shirt, bought some craft stuff. spent the night making an ugly lampshade while watching some movie with christopher walken and brendan frasier about living in a fallout shelter for 35 years. after that was ferris bueler.

our new cleaning lady (aka mom) has been over cleaning for 3 hours. and she’s only done downstairs.

supposed to go see farenheit 911 with james and leighanne tonight, but haven’t heard from james today yet.

i got to deaaaaaaaaal. yay. started on roulette, which was horrid, because shitty roulette girl was my floor. so i was having none of that, signed the list to get out and was #1…ended up getting switched to pai gow which was lovely, until quarter to 2 when i got to go home. had a good night.

curled my hair for work…all i heard all night is “your hair is so cute”…i don’t want to be cute. i want to be stunning LOL. ok i’ll take cute i guess. haha but yeah. all night. your hair is so cute. i think it looks too juvenile…

the fish is dead.

i started taking vitamins again, since i generally feel crappy all the time. my multi vitamin used to make me sick a few months ago when i was taking them regularly. mom said it was probably the iron (tho i take iron suppliments too), and to take it after i eat. well….i’m not taking the iron anymore with it, taking the multis after i eat, and i actually threw up from them today. so. i bought new multis. hopefully they don’t make me sick too. i take the iron before work in hopes that it’ll make me not fall asleep. cuz, suddenly, iron is a stimulant haha …it’s really to keep me from passing out since i’m dizzy all the time haha

sleeping…my sleeping is weird. i sleep, and wake up probably every hour or 2…then i wake up super early (aka before my alarm) and i’m wide awake. i force myself to sleep again, the alarm goes off at 12:30 and i’m awake. tho i want to continue to sleep. i actually sort of feel rested, tho i’m only getting 5 or 6 hours. 5 or 6 hours of restless waking up constantly sleep. but it’s working i guess. except for the fact that i need a nap as i drive to work, then i seriously almost fall asleep at work every day, even standing up, around midnight.

i need a nap about now…

i don’t like richard gere
i don’t like tom cruise
but i like bruce willis. haha wtf.

canaaaal fest. same as every year. we went later than we normally do, and saw pretty much no one. one constant, which made my heart smile, was 2 hashbrown guy. hahah. walked around a bit, won a fish that is so sickly i’m surprised it’s still alive (but james pushed it over, and it tipped over, so it’s not long for the world). sat on the bridge for a while…and still saw no one. very strange. made me feel old.

finally saw the sixth sense. good movie. but i figured it out. since i knew there was something to figure out. definitely would have been one of those mindblowing moments (a la fight club for me) if i hadn’t been expecting a twist.

finishing laundry now. work at 10 BLAH but at least i’ll probably get out around 4. dealing tomorrow (hopefully). flooring sunday, then mini vacation!!! at some point i’d like to go see farenhiet 911. as if i need more reason not to vote for bush. hahah

the new email address is up and working. you should have gotten an email from me with the new address, if you haven’t, and you think you deserve to know it, let me know, i’ll send it along. it absolutely will not be posted anywhere, no more spam thanks! for those slow to catch on, i will continue to check the icenine account for the forseeable future

movie night returns. devirginized leighanne to the brilliance that is stanley kubrick, with “full metal jacket”. not sure if she liked it or not. but it’s got some great lines. “god has a hard on for marines….” haha. then watched some mind fuck of a french movie called “the city of lost children” (i think). weirdest. movie. ever. i don’t even know what to say about it. it’s not like, david lynch weird, but….just so unbelievably strange.

sooo tired. pr meeting tomorrow night, then canal fest. james is going to come with us, he apparently is a canal fest virgin too. so there will be 2 deflowerings tomorrow. i just hope it lives up to the hype LOL.

i almost got run over in walmart parking lot. old people should have to take drivers tests every year. because no way should this lady have been driving. after she almost backed into me walking by her car, she continued to almost back into the car that was there too.

went to meet with the police about my gaming license. i had to wait for the cop to show up so i started reading the NRA magazine…haha. oh wow. the nra. i was actually laughing out loud in the office. this one “armed citizen” story is just so absurd that i had to steal the page out of the mag:

“paul ham and his son, jimmy, entered a mobile home on their property to repair a water leak for tenant kevin clark. as they walked in, the hams encountered a couple staying with clark, william and kristina tuell. william tuell immediately began shooting at the hams, hitting the elder ham in the head and shooting jimmy ham in the face. both hams then ran for their house, with tuell and his wife on their heels. the attack continued in the hams’ home as tuell and his wife attempted to shoot the entire ham family. kristina tuell was wrestled to the ground by ham’s daughter, sherry, but managed to escape. though wounded, jimmy ham finally managed to secure a gun and kill tuell with one shot. kristina tuell was later arrested after a massive manhunt and faces multiple charges, including attempted murder and assault with a deadly weapon.”

and that’s supposed to be a story in FAVOR of carrying guns?!?!?!?! i mean… i’m so confused. wtf was wrong with the mobile home couple that they just start shooting at the landlord?!?!? WTF. yes give these people guns!!! so then i can grab my gun and stop them from shooting at me. ABSURD. and everyone in these little stories falls the intruder with one shot. damn they’re good.

and it amuses me to no end just how biased special interest groups are. it’s laughable. there was a slightly amusing article in the NRA mag about australians and how they are now banning swords…but it also discussed how australia has banned laser pointers…since they’re soooooooo dangerous. you can get 6 months in jail for having a laser pointer LOL.

the same sort of extreme bias thing is going on at work right now. people are trying to unionize. oh no! not the U word. so on one hand we have union people in the parking lot giving us flyers and scheduling meetings to try to unionize us…then on the other hand we have mickey brown, ceo, giving us long letters with our pay checks telling us how unions are evil, and are trying to ruin the casino and destroy everything the casino has done in the community so far, and that the union is just lying to us, blah blah blah. it’s amusing too.

anyway. now i’m tired. i have to stay home and wait for the guy from sears to look at the washer.

saw an amusing bumper sticker at walmart. a W with the red “no” sign through it, and “let’s not elect him in 2004 either” ha

big bad storm. complex flooded, but thankfully our basement is ok (for now, sump keeps running non stop). big ass hail, i was trapped in my car going deaf from the smacking of it into the car roof. i saved some in the freezer heheh. power went off once, i’m scared to start doing webwork incase it goes out again and i lose my work…

maybe i’ll take a nap, i’m tired. running through the puddles (where a worm somehow got into my sandal, barf) wore me out haha

and from the wtf file: Report: Michael Jackson to Be Father of Quadruplets….?!?!?!?

i think i’m weird (well i know i’m weird). i’m probably the only person who’s fav part of the bowie live show is the “sunday”/”heathen” couplet…it’s just so…pretty.

oh and my days off for next week got approved. so i will be off mon-thurs…*hint* haven’t talked to eric anymore about going to projekt revolution so i’m guessing we’re not going…whatever.

off to work.