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one down one to go. it was 15 min. not saying anything else incase they come to the site and read this. lol guess i’ll go eat lunch now. i think i’m gonna go to galleria later.

 

hahaha the 2nd interview was great. drove downtown, and the woman was running late so i took the online assessment test thing first. it was a test to see how suited you are for the job. so i took that then talked to the woman. since i took the test first she looked up the results after we talked. i got a 1 out of 19 ROFLMAO…which means the job is TOTALLY completely wrong for me 🙂 but she seemed really impressed with me and was going to give my resumes to friends of hers that do placements to see if i can get some kind of entry level job someplace. and she said if i needed any help in even just brainstorming for jobs i should look for to call her and stuff. so she was really nice. i thought it was funny that i’m completely not a good candidate for the job. i laughed.

there was something else i was going to say but i forgot. i stopped at frisbees on the way home and found a U2 promo for “big girls are best” (bside from “all that you cant leave behind”)….they had a vanilla ice promo for “too cold” hehehe. and there is a new record store downtown, on elmwood past allen. i won’t be here for the art festival this year, which kinda sucks, but not a big deal. i’ll be in new orleans which is just a big more exciting LOL. even tho a snag has been hit in the NO plans…it’s ok.

 

i forgot the best news of all. they’re opening a Hot Topic at boulevard mall! so now we don’t have to drive to the galleria anymore. since it takes me longer to drive there then i spend at the mall. which is the main reason i’m not going to the mall right now even tho i want to.

 

need a job need a job need a job!! all kinds of stuff i want to buy at hot topic all of a sudden (yes i went to the mall). first off i want the spiderweb fishnets…not too sure how it would feel on my feet since regular fishnets hurt, but oh well. wonder how hard they are to get on too hahaha. then they had this really great shirt with alice in wonderland on it. they have a few of these…old fashion disney images on shirts…alice, snow white, sleeping beauty… they are so great. then they had this super rad skirt…it’s a long one. and a cool dress that is like the ones i tried on before, so it would look bad, but it’s black with red stars. yeah it rocks. maybe there are some pics on the site, if so i’ll post them.

YAY Avs just scored!! 2-1 Avs. now they just need to keep this leave unlike the last game.

so anyway. it’s kinda weird around here today. i mean at least to me. when i was out earlier i saw a few army helicopters flying around. then on the way to 2nd interview, i saw 2 red helicopters flying around. then just now i saw another army plane flying around in circles. there is an airbase here so i’m assuming they’re just doing practice missions or something. but it’s weird. since the airbase is here, and the powerplant is here if you look at the maps of places most likely to be nuked during the cold war, there is a big giant target on this area. and my dad went from one targeted place (west valley) to another (the power plant)….according to what i’ve heard on the news, the new terrorist threats are likely to come to power plants…i dunno if all the stuff i saw were like, air monitoring/protection, or drills or what… it was kinda eerie to see the plane flying around, cuz it was real low and stuff. if the north east’s power goes out tonight i guess it’s cuz we got blown up.

omg they’re playing elastica’s “connection” at the hockey game…i haven’t listened to that cd in forever. that is bizarre.

anyway. i’m bored. i can’t stand being here anymore. how am i gonna last til i have enough money to move out?

Posted in: Personal

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k so not fair. i get buzzed and everyone leaves….hahaha. what fun is that, sitting here at my comp all feeling the effects of alcohol…tonight was fun. amy and sarah came over to watch a movie, and danielle’s “friend” nick came over, plus the rest of us but we never watched the movie. we talked and stuff, and then played taboo hahahaha. it was rad. but then it’s like quarter after twelve and bill and leah went to bed and amy and sarah left and what i’m gonna go hang out downstairs with them and be the third wheel and be all uncomfortable. i think not. and so now i’m here, buzzed, and no one’s even online to talk to. this blows. grrrrr

so going home tomorrow. packed my car up and it’s sitting in the faculty lot waiting for me. i guess i’m gonna get up at 9:30 or so to get home by 11:30 to get my haircut. or something. and then dunno what i’m doing at night since 1. muhammed said he wanted to go out sat night. 2. nate said he wanted to go out sat night. 3. joe invited me out with all them sat night. but then nate is going to a rave i guess, which i can’t afford…and i haven’t talked to muhammed since tuesday. so most likely will go with joe and them bowling. but i dont have any money, so i’ll just go. yeah. that’s what most likely will happen.

i don’t know what to say, but i don’t want to go to bed. this blows so badly. my stereo is really loud. oh well.

 

well i’m home. unpacked some crap, and got my haircut.

i had a really disturbing dream that i want to repress. it involved a disturbing psychological experiment. *end*

i suddenly got really sentimental and stuff in the car on the way home…about graduation, and stuff… and in combination with some things i’ve been thinking about lately i wanted to cry. i was like NO! NO CRY! spent way too much time crying in the car on this road. lol. blah.

so i need to eat and do laundry and watch tv 🙂

Posted in: Personal

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one down one to go. poli sci was ick. longer than normal, added true and false ICK…got 1 wrong for sure because i didn’t know so i wrote “i cant remember but it begins with a C” (and i’m right, just looked it up, it’s concentration). then educated guessed on 4 others. and there was a bonus q to finish this lyric, and even tho i didn’t know it i’m pretty sure it was “what a long strange trip its been” cuz what else goes after “what a…” and it went along with the other lines hahaha. excuse me for not being a hippie. still finished in 25 minutes, and i took a while on a few that i didn’t know. i should still have above a 90 and still have an A.

need to shower now, i’m gross. then study for clinical and try not to fall asleep since i didn’t sleep much last night – stupid rain, stupid loud people outside all night

 

blah clinical was absolute crap. got one whole short answer wrong. totally friggen wrong. completely utterly and totally wrong. it was covert sensitization….i went on and on about how it’s a type of exposure therapy where you get put in a room with the spider and aren’t allowed to leave (i didn’t REALLY write that)…and yeah that couldn’t be anymore wrong. covert sensitization is imagining the problem behavior and then vividly thinking of something aversive so that you attach the aversive stimulus to the behavior. so i cant even get partial credit for it. and i got 4 wrong in the multiple choice. so assuming i get full credit on the other short answers i’ll have a 91, and still get an A. i got a 98 on the paper.

so i guess amy and sarah are going to come over tonight. we were trying to rent rose red so we can see the end (since somehow only 3 of the 4 parts recorded), but wegmans and blockbuster in tops were out. so we rented From Hell, and are going to see if rose red is at the indi rental place when it opens at 4. if not, probably going to rent se7en…i looked at the special edition dvd, and omg i want it. fincher rocks!!!!!

and now i have to pack. totally don’t want to…i have nothing to procrastinate now except for packing hahaha.

and today is trent’s 37th birthday. the meathead perspective on the ninhotline did a little tribute for trent, including something that amused me…. “trent doesn’t need heroin to write good music” haha. it made me laugh.

 

it’s really disturbing to me that the government knew all about this bin laden plane hijacking stuff THREE YEARS AGO! really, really disturbing. i just read this interview with maynard at the store, and he was talking about how evil Dub-ya is, and how he’s harming america and making it hard for americans to travel places without being looked upon like the germans used to be looked at. how we’re living in the thrid reich, sacrificing our civil liberties blindly to our lovely government. i love maynard.

Posted in: Personal

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it’s supposed to snow on monday. WTF!!!!! ok i HATE hot weather, but snow at the end of may??!?!?!?!?

i gotta hardcore study today since i didn’t at all yesterday. so don’t expect to talk to me, cuz i’m not even gonna be in the room. i read through all my poli sci notes up to the new unit which the test is concentrated on before bed, then watched tv. caught the last 30 seconds of the colorado game YAY AVS!!!!!!!! thank god, cuz they’re the only team with a chance against detroit. fucking detroit.

 

i’m really pissed off. ok not pissed off. but irritated at people’s ignorance and stupidity. and at people who don’t listen to me when i know what i’m talking about. *done* people should know by now that i’m always right 🙂 and i’m not being egotistical, because in this situation it’s true, and i am right.

studying was going ok. went to dinner at sarah’s. came back, started clinical at 8 which is kinda icky. but now i’ve stopped to deal with something that’s bugging me by bitching at carolyn LOL lucky her. i need to get back to the books tho. i gotta stay up til 1 now cuz i spent too long at sarah’s. i have time between exams tomorrow to prepare more for clinical, which is why i’m doing the bitching now. it’s good thing i did so well in these classes all year, cuz i can do really bad on the exams tomorrow and still get As 🙂

Posted in: Personal

Static-X at Water Street

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back from static x. it was rad. we went all out for the show, which is the first time we’ve done that in a long, long time…i think since APC march 2001. wow that IS a long time. i forgot how much i like doing it. i got to wear my new leather (plastic) pants…the non shiny black ones. and omg i love them so much. hahaha. so we headed up to eric’s and set out from there. we were late, doors were supposed to be at 6, but there was a huge line still. once inside we waited forever to be let upstairs to the balcony because no way was i going to get killed by all the 15 year olds being dickheads on the floor. and i realized 2 things. i need breast implants and i need to bleach my hair blond. because that way you get special treatment from security and get let into the balcony with all your friends before they open it to everyone else. but i shouldn’t complain, because after our bitching security noticed danielle and let the four of us up (me, her, eric and jason). but it’s all good cuz the whores got made fun of by wayne static. he called them handicapped because they were sitting down through the whole show. hahahah.

anyway…my taste in men just keeps getting weirder and weirder….so sinisstar played first. they came out, and the first thing i thought of when the guitarist came out was OMG HE’S HOT! he was wearing a dress. and really ripped tights, big black boots, leather shorts under the dress and a long sleeve shirt. and he had reaaaally long hair/dreds (couldn’t tell) and it was all done up on top too with shiny things (couldn’t tell). yeah and my first reaction is omg he is so hot. apparently his name is China…he reminds me of Twiggy from marilyn manson…but hot. lol. so while i thought they weren’t all that good, they were really entertaining (besides the hot dress wearing guitarist). i really don’t know what’s wrong with me 🙂 but all i know is that if i had a boyfriend who was a cross dresser i wouldn’t care ahaha. i’d encourage it. AND DANIELLE THOUGHT HE WAS HOT TOO!!!! lol

after sinisstar was earshot. ok…anyone who thinks they sound like tool YOU COULDN’T BE ANY MORE WRONG! the music doesn’t sound like tool, and the singer DOES NOT sound like maynard. and they didn’t impress me at all. they seemed to be having some problems though…like out of tune and feedback and stuff, so i dunno. maybe it was just a bad show.

so staticx came on after an hour…dunno why it took so long but whatever. it was really fun. they were having fun on stage, goofing off, and it was a good time. tripp (guitarist, ex-dope member) is so cute/insane. he was crawling over everything, took a strole on the bar during one song and wayne didn’t know where he had gone to. and he kept eating pixi stix lol. he threw a bunch in the audience too. they were just really entertaining and fun. so i’m glad i went. it was interesting seeing the floor from above…looking down on the pit and stuff. it’s really surprising more people don’t end up dead. oh and on the way out we saw a 7 year old girl with her mom/sister (not sure which)…insane.

i really need a shower but going to bed. i’m deaf again, right after i recovered. but i don’t think it’s as bad this time. tomorrow is study day (no exams for entire school) so going out to lunch with proff and research girls, then starting to study for my 2 on friday. yay for me.

 

A- in adolescence GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

went to lunch with the proff, it was fun. talked a lot, all good. new orleans is gonna rock!

there were 2 new cases of meningitis here at school. one viral one bacterial…not happy. i got the vaccine, but now i gotta worry about the other type, and blah. i hate disease. hahah.

when i took a shower this morning, i had so much stuff in my hair from yesterday i had to rinse and repeat for the first time in my life LOL. and my hair STILL moved when it was all windy and stuff. i commented that i went to a concert last night, and research girls were like who, and so i’m like Static x, and they’re all like never heard of them. lol i’m like yeah you wouldn’t like them. and beth commented on how we have to go to the garden district so i can find my husband lol. good times.

Posted in: Concerts, Other bands \ Tagged:

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i’m having a dilemma. i suddenly really want to go to a concert. and static x is playing tuesday. and even tho i know all of 3 static x songs, i really want to go. earshot and other ppl are playing too. it’s 21$ for 4 bands which isn’t too bad, but i don’t have any money really. and then i thought, it’s in the middle of exams, the day before study day, i should stay home and study.. but then it’s like WTF am i talking about? i went to see econoline crush the day before my personality exam, the day of my personality exam, and the day after my personality exam last year LOL. so i dunno. i asked danielle but she’s all i dunno cuz i invited nick over…but she’ll go if i decide by noon tomorrow. and now eric doesn’t know if he’s going cuz none of us have any money, so waiting on him too. hahah

 

well i have another job interview on monday. this time for a financial sales position…the place is on franklin street behind pearl street brewery. haha so danielle is like, i’m coming every day for lunch when i’m home on breaks if you get that job!! but she didn’t say what the job was except financial sales… so i’m still assuming it’s selling people 2nd mortgages and stuff.

still dunno about static x. last night mary was 80% sure she was going to go, and eric said he could turn in his coins and be able to afford it hehe. we offered him an IOU from the boston fund too. and david might come up too.

i went to bed at 1 last night but ended up watching people in the news on cnn… it was about madonna, which ended up being a half hour long. then was a segment on ozzy so i couldn’t go to bed before that. it was funny, because once again they showed the SHARONNNNN cat chasing clips, and the “bubbles?!?!?! i’m ozzy osbourne, the prince of fucking darkness!” clip hehehe…so didn’t fall asleep til 2:30 or so.

 

static x is a 100% definite now. david’s not coming, but the rest of us are going. i guess i should get tickets.

studied for an hour and a half, took an hour nap, made dinner for an hour, and now back to studying. my head feels weird so i think i’ll take some pre-emptive drugs.

comp art was boring. we had bagels, we talked about computers and how they’re getting new programs next year and stuff. we presented our newsletters. i was like, yeah i wrote it all myself, and i did reviews so i had an excuse to use this picture of trent reznor (the piano one) because it’s the greatest picture of trent reznor ever. yeah people think i’m funny.

oh and i found out the company i have my 2nd interview at is an insurance company. so i’d be calling people to sell them new life insurance haha. i mean, i guess…assuming that’s what my job would be.

 

studying was actually going pretty decently. but then i lost all motivation with 1 chapter left. that’s also due to the fact i came back upstairs. studying downstairs i have nothing to distract me. just being in my room is a distraction…even with stereo and comp sounds off, there’s too much to look at, too much to inspire daydreams haha. and then when i came up here, i had to play a game of snood. which turned into a game of spite and malice as well. and now i’m blogging. so i have 45 minutes to do the last chapter. so i can go to bed.

and i’m totally not feeling guilty about spending money on static x anymore (i sorta was, since i’m broke and have no money for my vacations)…but i remembered that my mom owes me 100$ from graduation stuff, and i just got paid for the website i did, and my mom was supposed to deposit that in my account today. however i did forget that i owe 20 to comp art proff for the lab fee. oh well 🙂

anyone know if ticket prices go up the day of even if you still buy them from ticketmaster? because we didn’t buy the static x tix yet, and i figured now we could just get them at soundgarden tomorrow on the way up to RIT. oh well, it’ll work out.

Posted in: Personal

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like i said yesterday the internet kept dying last night. it died around 11 and stayed dead until about 12 minutes ago. i had the most insane dreams. like about bon jovi, and courtney love and hotel rooms and yeah. just completely insane. don’t know wtf is wrong with my head lol. i woke up with a massive headache at 9:30, got up, took excedrine, told danielle my dreams and tried to go back to bed. of course that didn’t work, it was raining out. so then i got up, found the internet broken so i couldn’t even blog my dreams (i typed them into word tho haha i’m a dork). i was supposed to make pancakes for breakfast today…but we have no eggs. so that forced me to actually take a shower and get dressed. i was going to start in on my review sheet, but then the internet came back LOL. i think it’d be better if it stayed broken today. oh well.

i’m really tired. i think i’m going to need a nap at some point today. bill and leah got home around 1 from cedar point, i was still awake, but then they kept me awake upstairs. and they got up really early, or at least bill did cuz leah is still upstairs sleeping. that’s why i was up at like 7 and then 9:30. that and the rain.

 

well it’s been 3 hours and i’ve done one and a half chapters. i wanted to finish before dinner (5pm), so i have 2 hrs to do the last half of chapter 13, and all of chapter 14. i think i’m doing ok, as far as meeting my goal of finishing before dinner. i have taken a bunch of breaks though. haha. my head hurts, and my glasses are making it worse i think. oh well. i hate doing this review sheet since i already know all this stuff. let me say it one last time IT’S ALL REVIEW FROM EVERY OTHER CLASS I’VE TAKEN! seriously. i’ve learned about kohlberg’s stages of moral development at least 6 times…11th grade psychology, intro to psych, child development, social and personality development, adolescent development, probably social psych, and possibly one of my sociology classes, and i think 12th grade sociology. and i’ve learned about attribution theory in social psych, personality, intro probably, industrial/organizational psych, and now adolescent…if not more. i’m so tired of all this. i don’t think i could handle going to get my phd and having to learn all of this AGAIN for the 7th time.

god i’m tired.

 

finished my review sheet at quarter to 5. made dinner, and have done NOTHING ever since. i’ve been talking on IRC, and playing solitare, and yeah that’s it. changed cds again…listened to dangerous, and then next is george michael lol. i’m really tired. i should have started to study.

Posted in: Personal

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i stole this from steph. i don’t feel like getting dressed and starting the day.
15 Years Ago, I:
1. was 6 (i had to use a calculator to figure that out)
2. was in first grade
3. liked joe gotowko hehe
4. best friends with angela
5. played with barbies

10 Years Ago, I:
1. i was 11
2. was in 6th grade (i think)
3. i liked kris kreiger
4. still played with barbies 🙂
5. still best friends with angela

5 Years Ago, I:
1. was 16
2. was in 11th grade
3. was dating psycho
4. was working at mcdonalds
5. was planning my trip to London

2 Years Ago, I:
1. was 19
2. had mono
3. had just seen NIN in toronto
4. continued to have no idea what i wanted to do with my life
5. wanted to end the year asap

1 Year Ago, I:
1. was 20
2. lived in suffolk hall
3. had just seen 3 econoline shows in a row (or was about to see 3 in a row, i forget)
4. wondering what kind of car i was going to get
5. studying for exams (not likely haha)

Yesterday, I:
1. finished classes at geneseo forever
2. watched the nin dvd
3. went to amy and sarah’s
4. watched hedwig and the angry inch
5. was pissed off most of the day

Today, I:
1. woke up
2. went back to sleep
3. woke up again
4. tried to sleep but got up
5. turned on computer

Tomorrow, I:
1. continue to do adolescent review sheet if i’m not done with it today
2. try to start studying for adolescent
3. have dinner hopefully
4. ?
5. ?

Five Snacks I Enjoy:
1. nachos
2. ice cream
3. chips and dip
4. goldfish crackers
5. sweettarts

Five Songs I Know All the Words To, Even Without the Music:
1. most orgy songs.
2. most nin songs
3. most apc songs
4. most mj songs but this is going downhill fast
5. lots of u2 songs

Five Games I Like:
1. snood
2. spite and malice
3. solitare
4. tetris
5. mario

Five Things I Would Buy With $1000:
1. food
2. dts setup
3. flat screen monitor
4. new clothes
5. a life

Top Five Musicians Lately (or Last 5 CDs in the CD Player):
1. nin – downwardspiral
2. deftones – whitepony
3. tea party – interzonemantras
4. garbage – 2.0
5. u2 – achtungbaby

Five Bad Habits I Have:
1. hating everyone lol
2. chewing my fingers
3. swearing excessively hahha
4. having no future
5. eh theres too many more to name

Five Things I Would Never Wear:
1. fluffy poofed out ball gown thing
2. a normal wedding dress
3. stuff from abercrombie
4. pants up to my boobs
5. ???

Five TV Shows I Like:
1. fear
2. the osbournes.
3. snl reruns
4. gh even tho i havent seen it in months
5. ……..

Five Places I’ve Lived:
1. kenmore
2. north tonawanda
3. saratoga terrace
4. suffolk hall
5. ontario hall

My Top Five Biggest Worries at the Moment:
1. money
2. job
3. future
4. money to move far away
5. no future

My Top Five Biggest Joys at the Moment:
1. almost done almost done almost done
2. graduation, so i can leave forever
3. new orleans
4. vegas
5. trent

danielle and i went to amy and sarah’s last night. we watched them make cupcakes for danielle for her birthday. amy cooked them on broil instead of bake ROFL So they have a crispy shell on top, but they’re still good. and sarah made the frosting herself, no canned frosting for us. so they were good. then we watched hedwig, so that rocked. it was cool to hang with them, since it’ll most likely never happen again.

today i have to start my adolescent review sheet in hopes that i can take some of the info in and get a better grade on the final. once again, there’s alot of material on the exam, so blah. and it’s still all review. how many times have i learned about adolescent drug use?!?! like 4….but i’ll still do bad on the final.

i forgot to mention yesterday but i love my comp art proff. he’s really weird. he’s got a bizarre sense of humor, and i think he’s funny but i can understand how alot of people would think he was just weird. so he sent us emails yesterday that said “Come by and sign up for your bagel of preference” hahahahahahahaha i was rofl-ing. i swear to god someone is on my roof, and there have been no workers around in ages (hense the reason our bathroom light still isn’t fixed, 7 weeks later).

i should get dressed etc….

my internet keeps dying on me, so i’m guessing that’s a sign to do my adolescent review sheet. went to denny’s for dinner with amy and mike (and danielle of course) came back and started the review sheet. but 3 hours later, i’m almost done with 1 chapter lol. 4 more to go.

and i wanted to say that i really hope at least one bootleg shows up from the 2 recent tea party shows. i dunno why, but suddenly i want them. so hopefully they’ll be floating around kazaa and stuff over the summer, or maybe bootleg guy at the flea market will have them. i’d think waterstreet was recorded since it’s easier than a sunset slut to get a recorder inside. don’t ask me where that analogy just came from lol.

 

ad emails of the day:
GET A HUGE HORSE COCK
transexuals
soccer mom forced to suck and swallow
rape sex
ebony boning ivory

nice.

 

 

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

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i spent an hour watching danielle and 2 of her bio friends get drunk before their class. lol too funny. they’re supposed to come back when their class is over, but i won’t be here. 1 more hour until my last class at geneseo ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we’re supposed to hang out with amy and the suffolk girls tonight, but dunno what’s going on tonight, or if we’re gonna do it tomorrow. i guess i’ll find out later.

since fridayfive.org is broken again, i was told it’s my turn to make one up
1. if you were to fight to the death in a duel what type of weapon would you choose? whips…like in the old west lol. reminds me of the SNL skit “the whipmaster” hahaha
2. if you could have any animal kill you, what animal would it be?panther rarr lol
3. if you were an oscar winning actor(ress) and could play any movie roll past or present who would you play and why? baby houseman from dirty dancing LOL why… eh it would be fun, even tho i’d have to look at patricks lips the whole time barf
4. if you could have written any song, what song would it be? and all that could have been – nin 🙂 or like… billie jean
5. how many toes do you have? 10 thanks

even tho carolyn said it was my turn, she did her own too
1) who is your fave author? chuck palahniuk
2) what is your fave book? invisible monsters, daisy fay and the miracle man
3) do you prefer poetry or prose? prose even tho i’m not exactly sure what that means…i mean i DO but…whatever.
4) what book have u read the most times? dunno…dont read books over alot. i guess daisy fay cuz i’ve probably read it 3 times.
5) if you could be any character from any book who would you be? Danielle from Merivale Mall

 

classes are OVER!!! no more class in geneseo ever again, thank god! now i just have to do the exam thing, and blah graduation. which reminds me my mom owes me 100$. but anyway…going to amy’s tonight at 8 or 9 to hang out.

i think i’ve decided that i need to be a shut in again. i can’t deal with people. someone in clinical had such horrible breath and kept breathing at me, i almost died. and i hate drunk people when i’m not drunk too. lol. and leah is cooking ramen and the smell is making me sick LOL. i need to open a window.

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

NIN “And All That Could Have Been” school assignment review

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trent makes me so happy. since i was bored and pissed off, i decided to watch the nin dvd. yeah, so happy. hahaha. for some reason i felt really into it today. it was weird. when they showed the audience i wanted to be there so badly. as much as i DIDN’T want the crush, and all that for the tea party…i long to have that kind of experience again…leaving a show worn out, exhausted, sore, drenched in sweat, and completely euphoric…i dunno man. i just…want it really badly. of course, it has to be one of MY bands…nin, orgy, apc…not just any band. i can’t feel the same way with bands i see that i’m not all that into…

anyway, i said i’d post my nin review that i used in my newsletter but i kept forgetting. so here it is…

 

 

nine inch nails – and all that could have been – DVD and limited edition CD

nine inch nails mastermind Trent Reznor has never been known for releasing projects quickly. And he’s never been known for releasing unacceptable product. Once again he doesn’t disappoint.

The new live DVD and CD set “and all that could have been” is a trip through 2000s Fragility Tour 2.0 of North America and Canada. Recorded over various dates on the tour, (and taking entirely too long to release) “and all…” is a stellar picture of what the critically acclaimed live show was about.

NIN opens up with the hard hitting “terrible lie” from 1989’s Pretty Hate Machine, and follows it with the ever favorite “sin”. They delve through tracks off The Downward Spiral before jumping into new tracks, and then back in time to visit the Broken EP.

Always the perfectionist, Trent Reznor takes the audience through an emotional roller coaster enhanced by the use of smoke, LCD panels for ambient lighting, as well as brilliant moving imagery as can be seen on the DVD. Emotional highs are contrasted by quiet calm, then elevate into a frenzy again. Beautiful instrumentals such as “the mark has been made” and “complication” (on the DVD only) are interspersed among the vocal tracks, and create an atmosphere that is unusual for a rock show, especially nine inch nails.

But don’t let that fool you. As can be seen on the DVD, there was plenty of destruction on stage, and plenty of mayhem in the audience. NIN closes the set with the crowd-pleasing “closer” and “head like a hole” while Reznor proceeds to smash apart a keyboard with the microphone stand. The emotional climax comes during the encore, as the band closes the show with “hurt”. An incredible song that can tug at the strings of the hardest heart, it’s not the lyrics that bring tears to the eye. As the DVD pans across the front of the audience, it’s the ability that Trent Reznor has to make everyone feel what he feels…it’s seeing men and women in the audience crying, singing along, eyes closed, that adds to the brilliance of the song. It’s not often that a person can elicit that kind of emotion in that big of a group of people. Incredible.

Highlights of the CD and DVD include “the frail”/”the wretched” couplet, “la mer”/”the great below”/”the mark has been made” on the DVD, and of course, the closing “hurt”. Another fine Trent Reznor product.

The limited edition CD of “and all…” contains a 2nd companion disc entitled “Still” (also available for purchase on nin.com). Reznor has described the disc as a good CD for a rainy day. While playing around with different interpretations and acoustic workups of old songs during the tour, he produced the disc to showcase some of what he had been working on. “Still” contains broken-down acoustic versions of classic NIN tracks “something I can never have”, “the fragile”, “the becoming” and “the day the world went away” complimented by new instrumentals, and the incredible new vocal track that gave the CD set it’s name. The song “and all that could have been” is an out-take from The Fragile sessions that was too good to be ignored. While it didn’t fit in with the flow of The Fragile 2-disc set it fits perfectly on “Still”. The instrumentals are beautiful works of art, reflecting Reznor’s classical training. My personal opinion on the disc is that it is the greatest CD ever made. It’s absolutely beautiful.

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