dream: i don’t know how it started but i was in the hospital because something was wrong with my heart. i had an IV in my left arm, which was really hurting, and i had to have some kind of procedure (or i already had the procedure i think). something about it went wrong, and i still wasn’t right. a nurse realized if she had been paying more attention to me i would have been ok, but no one did anything when my arm was hurting and now i had a blood infection. at this point i knew i was going to die, because it was sort of a flashback in a weird way. the nurse was telling me if she had paid attention, i’d have been ok, which led me to believe i wasn’t going to be ok. she started taking me out of the hospital and i started crying that i didn’t want to die, that it was too soon. i started seeing people i knew, like kathy at work, who asked me if i had any snacks at home and i told her no. then i thought, no one knows this is the last time they are going to talk to me, and these are the last things they are going to say to me. and on top of that, i don’t know why i said no, cuz i had cookies at home. the nurse takes me to the middle of a parking lot and i see a helicopter, and i start crying again that i don’t want to die, that kitty is at home and won’t know what is going on. the mercy flight helicopter lands and they put me in to transfer me to, apparently, a hospital in philadelphia so i can have a heart transplant. but they are going to start the transplant in the helicopter. the operating table is all dirty with the left overs from the last person who they were working on, and i think the person’s jaw was on the table…or an ugly grimace was burned into the table, because it went wrong and the lost the patient. but i thought it was a bad sign. so the nurses were around, and one got my new heart out of the freezer and just plops it on the table, like it’s just that easy and they have tons of hearts laying around for transplants. she started snipping some of the major arteries, like the aorta, because apparently they were too long.
yeah. that’s it. it was actually pretty frightening.
