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i’m still awake. went to The Club after work. brendan invited me, then tony did. i had no money so tony gave me 20$. i ended up coming home to change first anyway, so i got my own money. was there til 6:30 ish. got a wicked massage from brendan, and he took me out to breakfast. we went down to the royal on military and sheridan cuz he doesn’t like dennys. how can someone not like dennys lol. i just can’t fathom that . it was a good time. now its almost 10, and i need to sleep, but i really need to fucking clean this place. there’s shit everywhere and its garbage day. so everything is going in the trash.

there is an apartment for rent in our building. i want fishy to come up and get it now. lol.

oh and i might have 2 more hookups for urbex stuff. brendan has been on the abandoned ship in buffalo, volunteered to take me out if he can find a canoe. he’s the only one at work who doesn’t think i’m insane for doing all this urbex stuff. he’s been in the terminal when it was still open and stuff, things it’s cool. it all came about cuz i was showing him my bct injuries from saturday haha. then this other guy who is a photographer has hook ups through his mother, on the buffalo arts and cultural board, to get legal access to the psych center if our connection through the PR department falls through. surprising what comes out when you’re drinking haha.

Posted in: Personal

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tony came over after work for a few hours cuz he needed a beer. lol. that provided for a late night, and sleeping til 3:30.

i’m not sure anyone on earth has more problems with their wireless network than i do. this isn’t putting faith in the future of entire wireless networks. i’m 1 room away from the router and i can’t keep a strong signal. it’s been 50% or lower for days now. it goes higher, then immediately goes back to 50%. or it’ll be higher until you try to do something in IE, then it goes back down. hate it.

the old domain expires on august 29, so anyone who still hasnt switched their bookmarks to icenine, do it now. it’s only been a year

 

just dropped 300$ on the film scanner. burning all my shit so i can reformat. hopefully things will go smoothly. not sure when we’re gonna do the wipe, but..it’ll be before the scanner arrives.

Posted in: Personal

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i got to deal on the suede table today. instead of the green felt layout, it’s got green suede type stuff. it’s kinda hard to get used to at first, cuz nothing slides on it. but now it’ll be weird going back to a felt table tomorrow night. i’ll be throwin shit all over.

danielle was by tonight i guess. left me my bday gift, a gift certificate to pier 1. and paid me for ozzfest. and left me and adr a gift that adr didnt open yet. rad.

out with brian in the morning. best get some sleep.

 

just one thing: i conquered the glass walkway.

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in other news. took me forever to get home. First it started to rain, so we left. Torrential downpour flooded the 198. everyone driving with flashers on, lots of big puddles tearing the wheel out of your hands. sucked. then traffic was backed up half way across grand island…for NO REASON. we’re talking stand still, move 10 feet at a time, traffic. get to the bridge, slow across the bridge, then nothing. no accident. no cops. nothing. i hate that.

i’m so tired. and i’m going to be so sore. and broke. cuz i’m off to buy the film scanner.

 

something is seriously wrong with my computer. it’s dead/dying. explorer is crashing on a fairly consistent basis. i think i’m gonna have to do the R word…reformat. cuz it’s just fucked. if i have a virus, i can’t fix it, cuz my old norton wont work, missing some dll file. can’t install my new norton without uninstalling the old one. and i can’t uninstall the old one, cuz it’s missing some dll. SUPER. so…gotta wait til eric tells me what i need to save etc before we start from scratch again. goddamn computer.

Posted in: Personal

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i didn’t realize when i bought the gravity kills cd that they do a cover of personal jesus. it came on and i was like WOAH. it’s pretty cool. also, the song after it, has the same…electro-riff as one of manson’s songs on antichrist superstar. don’t feel like finding which song it is though.

so last night tony ended up calling around 10:30, cuz he was going up to the casino. so adr and i went with him. the pai gow gods were smiling upon me last night. we were playing the new progressive jackpot pai gow, 25$ a hand which i wasn’t happy about at first, then an extra 5$ to qualify for the bonus, which i wasn’t happy about at first either. but my first two hands were a straight with a pair, so i got 20$ extra each hand haha. i ended up walking 95$ up. i lost a 100 of tony’s tho haha.

it is so friggen hot in here. wtf.

we went to the alcohol arcade for food after, came back here around 2:30. watched tv, gossipped, the usual. we taught adr how to play pai gow and mini bacc haha. and he taught us all the diff kinds of poker. we’re such casino dorks. tony left around 5.

i drove out to nccc this afternoon to register for the photog class. it’s full. of course. i can’t register til monday. the lady is gonna keep trying to register for me, cuz they de-register people after the 8th. then if i get in, it’s gonna be about 350$ for the class. i figure if i develop and print 30 rolls, i’ll get my moneys worth hahaha. so not looking forward to it though. just going there made me cringe. not looking forward to interacting with all the 13th graders etc. i feel snobby.

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so the xp uninstall was successful, and i’m now back on 98. eric came and fixed my internet. now i just have to try the scanner out again, and cd burner. i had my color pics of the church developed at walmart, so i’m gonna scan those in. i have 2 b&w rolls from the church and terminal, plus the roll still in the camera, to take care of when the 3rd roll gets finished.

took eric to lunch at perkins, then went with adr out to youngstown to pick up her wallet. she lost it apparently haha. came back here for a bit, went to see the parents, went to frisbz. i picked up an advance of the last gravity kills album, a kenna cd, since i think it’s the band we saw last night, and a single/promo for eric. he had no APC swag yet boooo. but i did figure out that nero audio can rip streaming windows media into mp3. *was not doing anything illegal* in other news, this is the APC album art:…i wonder if it was photoshopped or if some girl really had a slug on her face. barftastic.

our light switch in the bathroom completely broke. so landlord came over and replaced it. a real switch, no more dimmer. i guess i can no longer dim the lights down low and get romantic with my…invisible boyfriend…in the bathtub. shame.

at walmart i bought a 12 pack of poptarts cuz they were cheap. they come with a bonus – 4 new yogurt poptarts…i’m afraid to try them. sounds like it’d be really gross. plus…shouldn’t i be putting them in the fridge if they’re yogurt? they weren’t refrigerated at walmart. hmmm

so on tap tonight. scan pics, get them on the site, start condensing my cds – burning all the cds i want to keep in the car, trying to combine short ones, etc. and i gotta figure out this NCCC stuff to take this photography class. i can register on the 4th, which is soon..hah. maybe i’ll drive out there tomorrow afternoon.

Posted in: Personal

Dave Gahan @ Koolhaus

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before getting to today, i just uninstalled xp. it makes my comp run worse than it did before, esp in the internet department. but that means my net is set up wrong again, and eric, you need to come over tomorrow and fix it for me please. i’ll buy you dinner.

ok, today. i’m so glad we left so much extra time for all the traffic we DIDN’T ENCOUNTER! no traffic on the way in. we didn’t even really get lost. we got there around 3. the yahoo directions told us to take hwy 2, which is lakeshore drive, then the jarvis street exit. which would be fine if lakeshore had a jarvis exit…it doesn’t have any exits at all cuz its a normal street. but the gardner has a jarvis street exit. and would have been faster too. but we found it anyway. since we were about 5 hours early we ventured down town, parked in some lot, and walked up queen to yonge and got lunch and stuff. we ate at this movenpick marche place. it was really cool. they had all different kinds of stations and you went and found what you wanted and they’d make it there for you. i had a belgian waffle with strawberries and chocolate sauce. it was super yum.

so we killed time off and went back to koolhaus. which is not the same place that we saw orgy at, it’s the other part of the building. i think it’s a bit bigger. we parked in the lot across the street. it was 15$..ok. gave the guy 15$ and he gave us 40$ back. we’re like !?!? i was like, did you give me 55 to give him? i thought it was 15. yeah we gave him 15. well we just made a bunch of free money.

so the show. the opener was kenna and the new sacred cows or something. really good actually. then gahan. he played for almost 2 hours, 2 encores. it was really cool. i’m not too familiar with his new album, but i recognized a few. and he did a bunch of depeche mode stuff too. i think we counted 7 DM songs but we might have forgotten some. the entire end of the show, the 2 encores, were all DM songs. i’ll try to get a set list tomorrow.

i hate summer shows though, cuz everyone always smells. and i hate people touching me when there is no reason. if we’re up in front in the crush, that’s fine, but when there is plenty of room and someone is hanging on me, i want to scream. during “walking in my shoes” and then through almost the rest of the show, this guy who was making me nauseus all night (he was chewing some kind of gross strawberry smelling gum) started leaning on me. i kept moving over, he kept leaning on me. it’s like GET THE FUCK OFF ME. oh and then besides that, we’re waiting for the show to start and the most annoying couple ever is standing in front of us, constantly like, hanging on eachother and making out. i seriously wanted to go “i didn’t pay 50$ to watch you grope eachother, the bathroom is over there, just go and fuck already and get it over with”…then to top it off, another couple came and stood in front of us. and then a 3rd…AND THEN A FOURTH. by then i just yelled IF ANOTHER COUPLE COMES AND STANDS IN FRONT OF US IM GOING TO PUNCH SOMEONE! it was so bad. at least they were kinda good during the actual show. in my facist dictatorship PDA would be illegal.

dave’s band was interesting. the guitarist looked super familiar, kinda like colin quinn from SNL. the drummer was just weird, way too into it, and just…weird. and he looked like a fat, older, ugly ed norton. the bassist was missing teeth. lol. dave was dave. how can he not be gay? he is so….flamboyant. he’s got the mick jagger hip swivel thing, and then like, the elvis poses. speaking of mick jagger. during dave’s song “I need you” he started doing the stones “i miss you”…kinda funny. he held up some sign someone had that said “screw the stones we crave dave” haha.

so yeah. the show was good. very good. he sounded good. he’s got a great stomach/hip groovies *drool*.

we leave the club and go to the parking lot. i open my car door and a paper falls out. i picked it up and it was some power of prayer thing, so i dropped it on the ground. i go to get in the car and this guy goes miss!! i’m like…what, i littered, who cares. no it was the parking attendant guy. he said he left that note for me about the extra money he gave us LOL i didnt see the note on the other side of the ad. but he went on about how we gave him 15$ and he gave us 40$ back and how if we don’t give it back it’s gonna come out of his pocket and blahblahblah. well of course we spent half of it at the show on drinks (1 drink each) so we’re like, um…here’s 20. he like…looks devistated that he’s gonna have to pay for this mistake out of his pocket. so i offered him american money. we gave him 15$ more US hahaha. we’re like…it’s kinda creepy he remembered who we were, and that he remembered my car enough to leave the note, and then accost us about the money.

so we leave. after all the non existant traffic, we get to the border in an hour haha. we were home by 1. i saw a big ass bright shooting star. so i made a wish – for nate to be impotent.

time for bed i guess.

Posted in: Concerts, Other bands \ Tagged: ,

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i HATE xp. i think i might uninstall it. my mail checker constantly fucks up. since there is this problem with my wireless, where my internet will go on pause every now and then…if the checker checks while on pause, it never checks. it keeps trying to constantly check, and never finishes. it never starts to check again, it just gets stuck checking. i got new norton antivirus, which is hella annoying, cuz it pops up all the time even to scan outgoing email. i know thats an option i could turn off, but…ug. and if i get rid of xp, my scanner will work again.

need to get ready for toronto. bye.

Posted in: Personal

July 2003 Dreams

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July 29, 2003

i was supposed to be in a u2 video, and some part of the plot of the video included 3 of us jumping off a sky scraper. we were going to be sort of bungee-ing off the building, but using sewing thread. i was supposed to be the last to jump. the alcholic from Just Shoot Me was the first one to jump off, she sort of just let herself fall off the building, then we pulled her back up. then bono was supposed to jump but something went wrong. we didn’t have string or anything. i had to run down all these flights of stairs while i was wearing this protective cage thing, to find more thread. went back up with the thread, but something else was going wrong, and we wouldn’t be jumping anymore. i was kinda mad, cuz that meant i wouldn’t be in the video. i watched while they were editing the footage and they only showed clips of bono jumping…even tho he didn’t jump, the woman jumped.

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ok my monitor is getting beyond bad. dad said to check the cables before i do anything, like go and buy a new one. i’ll do that tomorrow.

the joys of being on roulette for the entire night. fabulous. slow as hell though, and on 40/20s all night which make it drag and drag. tony went out of his way to find me before he left, and made me talk about the nate thing. tried to cheer me up by saying boys are dumb, and do stupid things. duh. brendan gave me a massage. all good. good massages always accepted gratefully. it was a good tip night too, so things are good.

time for bed. gotta remember to get driving directions for the gahan show.

 

i love audioslaves “show me how to live”. it’s like a blend of the cool rage music, and cool soundgarden music. i always had a problem with rage cuz it was so repetitive. it’s like…zach thought of 3 lines, and just repeated them throughout the whole song. it’ll be interesting to see what, if anything, comes out of the zach/trent collaboration. trent music with zach’s repetitive vocals? hahah and i really am getting excited about APC coming out. i wish i could go to one of these new shows, hear the new stuff, etc. i’ll be patient. and i love the new korn song “did my time” from tomb raider. just wish i had a better copy, and not the ripped off the raido version. oh well.

gah my monitor…it’s gotta be on it’s death bed. i can’t deal with the static. i wonder if something is making it go wacky. one time it would like flash, and i realized it was cuz my cell phone was too close to it. but my cell is in my car, so..that’s not it.

i’m considering signing the early out list tonight, to get some sleep before we go to toronto tomorrow. amanda’s coming at 1 to leave from here. hopefully we don’t run into too much traffic, but enough to not make us 5 hours early for the show. there’s nothing around koolhaus to distract us for a few hours. and i don’t know how to get around toronto without carolyn, to go downtown or something before hand. i guess we can just sit around outside koolhaus for hours and get good spots inside. we’ll see how things are. amanda said she hopes dave doesn’t cancel in order to go to the stones show. i figure we can just go to that instead if he does haha. right, as if i’d know how to get there, when i don’t even know where it’s being held. the night drive home i’m dreading. all that concert traffic…it’s gonna take hours. i wouldn’t be surprised if it takes us twice as long to get home. ug. gotta remember to bring lots of cds tomorrow. keep us occupied for the hours at a standstill in toronto traffic.

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work was good only because it kept my mind off nate, and all the shit that was said before he left, and all the shit i put myself through after he left because of my fucking feelings. as soon as i got in the car, it all came back. i wrote him a 5 page (computer pages) letter, made a few snide remarks about being glad he found someone to fuck over there, felt a bit better. but i think i was better off before him, when i didn’t have feelings, and didn’t think it was possible that i could fall in love. cuz what do i have now. fucking nothing. i seriously view it as a complete waste of time. half of me wants to say fuck it, and fuck him, and fuck me wasting my time and energy trying to keep in contact with him, and keep at least a friendship going. just cut him out of my life. i want to cut practically everyone out of my life right now. but i always do this. it’s just me being self destructive again, even when i know it’s a bad idea. i’ll get over it. always do.

so work…was on roulette for 2 spins before being kicked off to blackjack. made my night even more. was put back on it around 1 for an hour – but that meant i was on a game for 2 hours straight, which is a very bad thing. got 40 min of break after that tho, so at least that was good. brendan kept asking me what was wrong, vented about nate, managed not to cry since we were at a table full of other supervisors.

i have to actually get up at a decent time tomorrow. jenn and jeff are coming over to install new memory after their dentist appt across the street. i said i’d have xp installed by then, but nate’s letter fucked up my day.

off to go to bed, and have feelings, and think to much about all this fucking stupid shit.

 

i’ve been ok today. well. until just now writing back to brian. but i’ve been ok. i feel better. it’s ok.

xp has been installed. my scanner won’t work with xp. and i gave in and went to 1024 screen rez. with xp everything seems so huge at 800600. but everything is so small on 1024. ug. we’ll see how long this lasts. i hate xp. even in the windows classic mode. stupid xp. stupid microsoft.

and jenn and jeff came over to do the memory thing. it’s sorta working. and everquest works..or worked while they were here. who knows about later.

i swear my monitor is about to break. it gets weird sorta staticy lines every now and then. and it seems to be flashing/glowing more than normal. the refresh rate or whatever? i dunno. but it’s irritating. it’s almost shaking, the picture i mean. please don’t break on me til i get a new scanner, and can afford a monitor. ug there it goes again with the static.

Posted in: Personal