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carnival night – the final 4 episodes. the only dissapointing thing about carnivale is that it’s over. so wonderful. such a great cliff hanger season finale. so many wonderful loose ends to pick up next season. i just hope it’s not agonizingly long til next season begins. definitely a must own once it comes out on dvd, cuz you know it will.

and class was good today. much better than the first 2 days. things may be improving.

 

finally a night off where i can lay in bed all night and do nothing. haha

class was good again today. thing’s definitely have improved. maybe the VP won’t entirely hate us next week.

i bought my mom a book for christmas that i think she either has, or had borrowed and read before. it’s called “too close to the falls” and it’s a memoir of a woman growing up in lewiston. i’m reading it before i wrap it HAH. it’s really good, funny, etc etc etc. the woman grew up and became a psychologist (tho that has nothing to do with what i have to say). there are so many gems in here that echo my thought process it’s unreal. it’s nifty. this line kinda jumped off the page as being so incredibly appropriate lately….“As far as my mother was concerned, there was nothing wrong with science, and blind faith was as ill-informed as atheism.”

completely unrelated. in carnivale, brother justin got let out of the asylum and returned home to his sister. he shows up at his ministry and asks the other minister to baptise him. the other minister does, and the holy water turns to blood on justin’s forehead.

that spurred the telling of the ouija board incident. tony found it to be hilarious.

the ouija board incident.

in 8th grade my little group of friends was still intact. one night in the winter of that school year geralyn and i were at kristen’s house. we decided to play with kristen’s ouija board. we had done this before, on halloween and such. we’re in the basement with the board on our knees in the dark, following tradition and asking who was controlling the pointer. it spelled out Lucifer. kristen freaked out and jumped up. geralyn and i sat there confused. kristen asked if we knew what lucifer was. i said i had never heard the name before. geralyn said it was the name of a cat in some disney movie i now forget. kristen said lucifer is the devil. well that certainly threw us into a state. we thought we had conjured up the devil. kristen was seriously freaking out. so we tried to figure out what to do now that we conjured up the devil. we brought the ouija board upstairs to the kitchen and proceeded to break the board into 4 pieces, drew crosses on it in black magic marker, tried to burn it (it wouldn’t burn), and sprinkled holy water on it.

i wonder which one of us actually made the board spell out luicfer. it certainly wasn’t me, since i didn’t know what lucifer was.

the next day the board was intact again and in the box in kristen’s basement.

true story.

well, except the board reappearing intact thing

tony got a huge kick out of the holy water part hahah.

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nate has been gone one full year.

day 2 was better than day 1. though there’s still plenty to complain about. mainly how no one is on the same page…i mean no one in the entire table games department is on the same page in regards to this game. we are SUPPOSED to be getting the new, revised, CORRECT manuals tomorrow. we’ll see how that goes.

anthony and jesse came over after class to chill before work. got pizza and all that. anthony said the apartment didn’t overly smell of pine, but i just remembered he was super congested so he’s probably not the best judge. rocco was maybe going to stop by after getting his uniform from his apartment, but never did. i don’t understand that boy. whatever.

my hands hurt so bad from dealing. the felt, and the dry air are killing them. pain. and when i put lotion on them they burn. not happy. besides that pain cards kept going way under my fingernails and tore the nails off from the skin. huurrrttssss….

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in the 3 minutes it takes the bus to go from the casino to the parking lot it went from no snow, to blizzarding. and we’re talking blowing snow, white out conditions, suddenly roads covered in snow. seriously. in a matter of minutes. and the snow looked like dippin dots (which made me want dippin dots, which means i’ll have to go to a sabres game soon since they’re the only ppl who sell them in the off season). then once i got off the lasalle expy, it stopped snowing. just like *snap* that. i love buffalo.

i have 2 christmas trees. i’ll post some really awful pictures of them tomorrow. really awful pictures taken on a really awful really cheap digi cam. that’s why they’re so awful. but….one of the trees is decorated with pine scented car air fresheners.. you know… the little green trees. i thought it was clever. the entire apartment smells like gross pine smell. it smells so much, that the hallway of the BUILDING smells like pine. ROFL. i think it’s calming down though. or i’ve just gotten really used to it.

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bacarrat class is frustrating because most of the people in it will never see the game even if they pass the audition, and don’t take it seriously. this is the one game in the casino that is to be taken at the highest possible seriousness. it’s a very high class, very formal game, and everyone just jokes around and fucks off. well i’m sorry that i want to learn the game and be GOOD at it. as we just were told at the end of class today, the VP of table games reviews the survalience tape from EVERY SINGLE bacc game, and the whole reason they’re having this new class is because he’s not happy with the current dealers. so i’m sorry if i want to be there to actually learn the game, and be the best at the game.

it’s frustrating because i have problems figuring out the commissions. it’s not bad on minibac because you calculate commission before you pay the bets. in full bacc you do commission after you pay the bets – which means the players can take their bets and winnings, and you have to remember what was bet and calculate commission from memory. since i’m slow at commission it’s stressfull, and i have everyone talking to me and telling me 98239 different numbers for what they owe. if you just give me a minute i can figure it out on my own and everything would be fine.

it’s like. just do the game right. pretend it’s real. follow real procedures, because what…you’re going to get put on the game and lounge back in your chair, and throw cards, and run the base dealers over? fuck that.

it’s really annoying. it’s been like that in every seneca class. apparently the story is that this is going to be the last free class offered. everyone’s complaining that we’ll have to pay to take classes next year, but i think that’s a good idea. cuz it’ll get rid of those who are just there for the hell of it. hopefully, having to pay, means you’ll get the people who actually WANT to learn the game, and WANT to be the best at it before they go on the floor.

it’s funny cuz anthony is in the class, and he’s already dealt the game. the bosses told him he didn’t have it, so he has to come to class. he’s been teaching half the class. we were sitting as “players” while grave shift dealers fucked around in the 3 dealer seats. he just looked at me, and said i was lucky. i asked why, and he didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. i’m lucky to be on swing shift where the dealers who already know the game, and want to be good at it, and take it seriously are.

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1. went to joanne fabrics to buy stuff to make my purse. it turned out to be way more complicated than it should be, but that’s ok. it’s gonna be way rad when i’m done. i need to figure out a handle for it, but i figured that can wait. turned out joanne was having a sale too, so all my stuff only cost 5 bucks.

2. my xmas lights arrived today YAY. so i got distracted between doing my purse and doing the tree, and ended up being rushed to make it to work on time to be one hour early. yeah. i didn’t know what time i started at so i rushed to get in by 8 incase it was 8, but of course, it was 9. so i rushed for nothing and sat there for an extra hour.

3. despite being early, work was really good and went by really fast today. my weekend roulette shift usually drags cuz i’m usually in the 2nd pit, but today was fun.

4. boys are frustrating.

5. i seriously don’t know what i’d do if A. nate was home without my knowledge and he just came and sat down at my game. or B. nate was home and he called.

6. i thought of a way rad idea to decorate a xmas tree so i think i’m gonna go buy a 2nd tree LOL. my first tree is only 4 feet tall anyway, i think i’ll get another small tree and set it up so you see it when the door opens. the other is in the corner next to the tv. i’m gonna steal my dad’s 40$ digi cam and take some pics soon. i have 3 strands of lights on my tiny first tree LOL if i buy a 2nd tree the colored ones will prolly get moved to tree 2. i think i’m gonna go to target tomorrow, cuz i need to buy some rugs anyway. and i won’t have time to do it next week. don’t have time to go to photo class and finish my assignments either, except on thursday night. gotta put together my assignments tomorrow and see what i need to do. i MIGHT be able to fake 3 assignments as is right now. we’ll see tomorrow when i take a look.

7. i made it into the full baccarat class. it starts…monday. yeah 2 days notice, that’s good. already half the people can’t make it or are going to miss too many days. we only have 8 class days (2 weeks, mon-thurs). i can’t believe they’re not waiting til after the holidays. whatever.

8. we are getting new games at work. new novelty games like spanish 21 (different kinds of bets with different pay outs, no 10s in the 8 decks), and some other game, possibly casino war (lame). we don’t get paid more for knowing them so i don’t feel the need to learn them, tho i probably will. they’ve been teaching spanish 21 on the floor but i haven’t been told to go learn it. whatever. after baccarat class i’ll be making almost minimum wage!! yay hahah

9. after longing to find someone or someplace that had nine inch nails piano sheet music….there is one. Know The Score is music to selected nin songs, mostly the instrumentals, all written by some girl by ear. so now i just need to buy a printer so i can print them out, relearn how to read bass clef, and relearn how to play piano. *excited* especially cuz they have the 2 songs i want played at my funeral. woooo!!!

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to all doubters….

“According to an exclusive story on the American news network, ABCNEWS, the mother of the boy who has accused Michael Jackson of molesting him “made an audiotape and signed an affidavit saying the pop star never abused him.”

 

#1. i got my xmas tree. it rocks. even tho it’s only 4 feet tall and i don’t have my other 2 strands of lights yet. and i need more balls. i didn’t buy enough, and they’re too heavy, so i think i’ll by a set of small balls to fill in.

#2. ate lots of turkey. yum

#3. when i was a kid i thought the word “chaos” was pronounced chouse…rhymes with house and mouse. they used that word alot in babysitters club books, and one day it hit me that it wasn’t chouse.

#4. when i was a kid i thought the word “gigantic” was pronounced gig-antic.

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when i was a kid i always wanted to go to hillman college. incase you don’t recognize the name, hillman college was the all black university on the tv show Different World. LOL. i thought it was the coolest place on earth. i started watching the show again on oxygen during dinner. they had heavy d play at their NAACP fundraiser. HEAVY D! haha

i had a dream last night that i was going to be arrested cuz of my blog (again). stupid blog always getting me in trouble lol

there is FINALLY information about the next nin record. AP mag had a blurb about it. apparently titled bleedthrough, to be released “soon.” so figure on 2014.

work at 6 tonight. nice overtime woo! and then turkey day!!!!

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this week last year was one of the worst weeks in my life. the week when my heart was torn out and trampled on. i want to read my entries from last year but i can’t, it still hurts too much. i keep trying not to think about it, but it keeps popping up. i can remember every heart breaking moment of what occurred. and it still hurts. and i hate it.

i try to remember what john said to me when he made me cry at work asking me about nate. that it was his mistake, he lost me and can never have me back. i try to think that way. it doesn’t work very well.

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for 10 months of out of year i forget that i hate christmas music. and then i remember.

i wrapped all my xmas gifts that i have. and i have everyone except adr. and missy, but i need to go to canada for her.

now i just need my tree. i ordered it today, along with my lights, should come some time next week. let me just tell you, i’m going to have the best tree ever.

and i need to make my annual home made xmas card. and i have NOT A CLUE on what to do. arg.

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surprisingly i managed to get all my photos up on institutional green today. so eastern state, holy land, asbury, some wildwood and the enchanted forest are all up on IG. the manhattan, crayola, and other wildwood pics are not going to be on the site, so are only up in the directories posted below til….next week some time.

just wanna point out that there exists Ozzy and Ziggy Stardust Pez dispensers.

grocery shopped today. i’m going to attempt to make chicken for dinner. i hate touching raw flesh. ug almost barfed having to cut the chicken breast in 2.

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